Need You Now
by bellasunderstudy1
Summary: Written for Cystic Fibrosis Awareness month. Bella is widowed and has a daughter living with Cystic Fibrosis. Will Edward be able to prove he can be what Bella and her daughter need? Canon Couples.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, I sadly do not. The characters herein belong to SM, the plot and ideas are sole property of the author. **

**Hi everyone! So, this is the first installment of the Cystic Fibrosis Awareness fic I mentioned in the final chapters of Make Me Believe. As you know my daughter lives with Cystic Fibrosis. The month of May is actually CF awareness month but my daughter's birthday is in June so I decided to write this little story & have it post during the month of June in honor of her birthday. The things the characters will deal with in regards to the CF treatments and lifestyle are based solely on my family's experiences and what my daughter goes through. There are many, many ways in which Cystic Fibrosis affects those who live with the disease and ****the situations are not the same for ALL CF patients.  
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**For more information on Cystic Fibrosis and ways to make donations toward finding a cure for this disease please visit The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation at the following website: www(.)cff(.)org (without the parenthesis of course *wink* ) **

**As always I have to send out a huge thank you to Jessica1971 for her amazing beta work. I've said it many, many times but she is truly a magic worker and I thank her for making me look good. 3 **

**I also must thank CellaCullen for pushing me to write this and thank her so very much for spotlighting Cystic Fibrosis Awareness on her website Twi-hard. MWAH my dear! 3 You can visit Twi-hard at www(.)twihardfic(.)com **

**On to the story...**

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**Chapter 1 What hurts the most**

**BPOV**

I slammed the car door and punched the steering with the heel of my palm.

"OW! Damn, damn, damn," I cried, rubbing my hand and wrist.

I felt a tear leak from the corner of my eye and swiped at it in frustration. I refused to let the emotions overwhelm me and took a few deep breaths to try to calm down.

_I will not cry over th__at ass,_ I thought miserably, knowing it was a lost cause as more tears followed the first.

I shook my head in disgust, at myself and the man I just walked out on. I left Josh sitting at that table gaping like a fish out of water as I left the restaurant.

I really thought that Josh was going to be different.

_God__, how stupid could one person be? _

But Josh wasn't like the other men I had dated in the past, which I guess helped me to ignore the fact that he was really not the exception, but the rule.

"Pfft...yeah, 'cause there have been so many others," I scoffed.

Josh and I met a few months before the first time we went out. He was a pharmaceutical rep and happened to come by the home health agency office while I was in one day. We just sort of hit it off and things went from there.

Josh was a good looking guy, in the whole GQ meets Western Horsemen sort of way. He looked just as at home in a pair of worn out, low slung jeans and a T-shirt as he did a three piece suit.

Josh told me he was okay with Olivia's condition. I was honest with him and laid it all out on the line with what she had to do every day, what our lives were like, and he assured me he was fine with the amount of attention Olivia's medical issues required of me. He made it clear that he understood my priority would always be my daughter and he was okay with that.

Damn it, he even said he expected nothing less of any mother and he would be there in whatever capacity I needed him.

I felt another tear streak down my face and I wiped it away with the back of my hand, releasing a heavy sigh as I put the key in the ignition and started the engine.

_Why couldn't he be different? _

I mean it was a simple question, really. Right?

There was no reason that we couldn't have made it work, no reason except he had lied and he really couldn't deal with the fact that I had a child. A child that requires a great deal of my time, and not because she's a needy, spoiled rotten brat, but because she's ill.

Olivia got sick, like really sick, a few weeks ago and that's when the 'long business trips' began. Then not being able to reach him by email or phone. And when he did return my calls, it was to my cell when he knew I was unavailable in the field with a patient.

It should have been obvious what was going on sooner, but I guess I just didn't want to see it.

Josh simply couldn't deal with the responsibilities of having a child like Olivia. Truth be told, despite all his pretty words to the contrary, he didn't want a ready-made family.

In some ways, I'm glad that he did it now before Olivia got even more attached to him.

I let the car roll to a stop at the traffic light half a mile from my house, completely lost in my thoughts.

_How am I going to explain this to Olivia? _

I snorted derisively, knowing there had been damn few men in our lives. This was why I swore off dating for so long after Mike passed.

In the past five years, there had been a grand total of two, including Josh. Two men in my life in five years.

It hurt to know that Olivia would never be able to understand the reasoning behind Josh's disappearing act. She wouldn't understand because there was no way in hell I would tell her the truth - that he simply couldn't handle the fact that we were a package deal. You didn't get one without the other.

I should be grateful, I guess, that at least on some level Josh was being honest now, even if he hadn't been in the beginning.

Josh got out of the relationship before things got any more complicated. I guess I needed to give him that, but damn...

I startled as a horn blared and brought me back to the fact I was sitting at the traffic light which had flipped to green and I hadn't moved.

Absently accelerating, I made the turn a short while later into my neighborhood and pulled up beside Rosalie's car in the garage.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped out of the car and made my way into the house.

Mike and I had purchased this house about seven years ago just outside of Atlanta, near his parents, after Mike completed his four year enlistment with the Marine Corps. It was a fixer upper at the time, so we got a steal in the little gem. Mike always said it was a diamond in the rough, and it had been exactly what we were looking for.

Living on a military base for the entire duration of Mike's service, there simply were not words to describe what it felt like to finally have a home in the suburbs with a big back yard that had room for a play set and a tire swing.

The image of Mike standing inside the kitchen shirtless with a tool belt around his waist, hanging the new cabinetry he and his dad made by hand flashed through my mind. I felt the pain stab my chest as the memory tore through my heart, looking over the craftsmanship that reminded me of Mike and how much he loved this house.

Mike was basically a jack of all trades and amazing with the construction stuff. Mike's dad was a general contractor and owned his own construction business, so it had taken no time for the two of them to do the repairs needed and the upgrades we wanted. Mike took such pride in making this place into a real home for our little family.

I felt the breath catch in my throat as I dropped my bag and keys on the breakfast table.

We had only been in the house for a couple of years when we finally got a definitive diagnosis on Olivia's health issue. She had just turned four.

For years we were told her respiratory problems were a severe case of asthma. So to say it was a shock to the system to actually find out it was Cystic Fibrosis would be a gross understatement.

It was all like a horrible nightmare I couldn't wake from as the details of what Olivia's future would entail hit us both like a run-away truck.

The ache in my chest was at times just as intense today as it was those first few days following her diagnosis. The fact that the doctors had no hard and fast prognosis for Olivia's future did nothing to lift the fog that infiltrated my brain, then or now.

The only words of comfort any of them could provide were, '_the healthier she is going into adulthood, the longer her lifespan will be.' _

I tried to find the silver lining in the black cloud that hung over us at the time. I looked for the bright side of the information we were provided.

I guess if there was one, it had to be that Olivia's form of gene mutation indicated she suffered from a milder form of Cystic Fibrosis. I snorted at the thought that there was even such a thing when you're talking about something that will eventually steal your child away from you.

I did have to say I was thankful that unlike many in her condition, Olivia's pancreas still functioned, which helped that she wasn't required to take digestive enzymes at every meal and with snacks. So in that way it was a blessing; unfortunately, there were symptoms that Olivia had that weren't necessarily explained or treated with an enzyme.

Olivia had low lung function, which couldn't be explained. Typically the lung function of other CF patients stayed in a range seen with individuals not suffering with the disease. Even with the boat load of inhaled steroids she took every day, she worked with only about eighty percent of the lung function she should have had.

I thought about how I wished the day we found out about Olivia's illness was the worst day of my life. It would be nice to say that discovery was the rock bottom, because the level of devastation from it was enough to cripple me. But, unfortunately, I couldn't say that was the worst day, because there were more cards to be dealt in our hand of fate.

I laughed to myself with absolutely no humor, the memories of those days following Olivia's diagnosis flashed through my mind as I made my way through the kitchen.

Mike had been in the final few months of his Reserves requirement.

I remember sitting on the couch, holding Olivia as she slept soundly in my arms. We had been up most of the previous night because Olivia wasn't feeling well and had a hard time settling down from the steroids the doctor had started.

I remember the overwhelming urge I felt to memorize every feature she had as I watched her sleep. I didn't want to forget anything. I wanted every little part of her burned into my memory.

I barely noticed the sound of the phone as it rang in the background. I didn't move, just continued to rock Olivia in my arms, wanting nothing more than to rewind the last few days.

I wanted to do nothing but go back in time and erase whatever cosmic practical joke was played that had brought this future on my daughter.

I didn't pay any attention to the ringing even after it stopped, knowing Mike was somewhere in the house and had probably grabbed the call. I just held Olivia and rocked. As I remembered it later, I think I knew that things were about to get a whole lot worse.

I turned when I heard Mike's footfalls in the hallway and looked up at him as he entered the room.

The expression on Mike's face when I looked up at him will haunt me for the rest of my days. Even the memory of that hollow look in his crystal blue eyes made my blood run cold and a shiver run down my spine.

His whole body vibrated as he crossed the room and knelt in front of where I sat on the sofa. I remember his eyes clouded over as he told me his unit was being called back for active duty.

My heart literally stopped as his words sank in and what it meant for Olivia and me, for what it meant for Mike.

I don't know how or why, but I knew in that moment as sure as he was kneeling in front of me that he wouldn't come home. He would never smile at me again; he would never hold me or his daughter again. I knew that his daughter would never know what a wonderful man her father truly was, at least not from the first person, but only from memories.

I still don't know how I held it together as Mike explained that he had ten days to report to Fort Benning. The call had informed him that he needed to get his effects in order and be ready to ship out the following week.

The next few days were a complete blur as we prepared for his departure. We weren't really even able to discuss Olivia's diagnosis and what it meant before it was time for him to ship out to Afghanistan for a six month tour.

The emotions were just as fresh as they had been as I kissed Mike one final goodbye. He hugged Olivia and kissed her head before we watched him walk across the tarmac and climb aboard that plane. I knew that was the last time I would ever see my husband alive.

Strange thing about those kinds of premonitions - you're never sure if you should feel relieved or devastated because you were right. Mike never came home, just like I knew he wouldn't.

He was killed by a roadside bomb that tore through the Hum-vee he was riding in during a nighttime mission outside of Kabul two months after he arrived in Afghanistan.

I shook my head, trying to clear the fog clouding my mind. There was no need to dwell on things I could not change. This was my life and there was really nothing to do about it but accept it and move on. There were just times it seemed harder to do than others. It seemed that instead of becoming easier, it became more difficult to do that very thing.

Just like I couldn't make Josh be a different kind of man, I couldn't bring my husband back from the grave. And I couldn't cure our daughter's disease. The only thing I could do was focus on the things I could change.

Olivia's memories of her father were sketchy at best because she was so young when Mike was deployed. Short of seeing a grainy picture and hearing his voice over the phone on the one call he was able to make after arriving in Kabul, Olivia never saw him alive after he shipped out.

I tried so hard to keep his memory strong for Olivia, but I wasn't always sure that I succeeded. I wanted to think that Mike was proud of our little girl, that he looked down on her from heaven and was happy with what I had done.

"Rose," I called, stepping further into the dark house.

Rose's father and my mother married when Rose was five and I was four. We were instantly the best of friends and had been attached at the hip ever since. Our parents still lived in Phoenix, where Phil's business was based.

Rose's mother passed away during childbirth, so Renee was really the only mother she had ever known. My father still lived in Forks, Washington, where he and my mom had been high school sweethearts. My mom had left him when I was just an infant, just packed up and never looked back.

Though Charlie and Renee couldn't stay together, they made sure that they raised me as a team, and my mom made sure I visited my dad during summer vacations and holidays as much as possible.

He remarried as well and had a lovely wife but never had any other children. Olivia and I would fly out to see them a couple times a year, but unfortunately our last trip had been canceled.

Olivia was admitted to the hospital with a MRSA-staph infection and the trip had to be canceled the day before we were set to leave so she could get a two week round of IV antibiotics.

Renee came out and stayed with us until after Mike's death and through his funeral. Really, I don't know how I would have gotten through that period without my mom's help.

It was difficult when she had to return to Phoenix. Her life was there and she couldn't make the move to Georgia because of their responsibilities in Phoenix. And I didn't want to uproot Olivia and take her away from Mike's parents.

The solution came when Rose rearranged her whole life to move to Atlanta. She moved in with Olivia and me and never looked back. Rose repeatedly said there was nothing to hold her in Phoenix other than a job, and mom and dad, which Rose made clear that none of those factors were a sticking point for remaining there.

Honestly, I appreciated and loved her all the more for what she did.

It helped to alleviate some of the feelings of how my drama had adversely affected Rosalie's life when she met Emmett several months ago.

Emmett was head of the orthopedic department at Scottish Rite. He was extremely easy on the eyes, but behind all that good ol' boy charm there was a really sharp mind and an easy sense of humor. There wasn't anything I could find not to like about him. He seemed to be exactly what Rosalie needed and was a huge improvement from the class act assholes she had dated in the past.

"In here," Rose's voice wafted from the family room.

I followed the sound to find Rosalie on the sofa with Olivia's head lying in her lap. The credits from a movie were rolling on the wide screen.

"She okay?" I asked, propping a hip on the back of the sofa as I looked down at my sleeping child lying in Rosalie's lap.

"Yeah, I think so. She had a pretty nasty bout of coughing that woke her up about an hour ago, so we watched some _Goblet of Fire _andshe did a couple of treatments. She finally nodded off again," Rose looked at the clock on the DVD player, "about ten minutes ago."

Rosalie ran her fingers through Olivia's tangle of blond curls and smiled softly.

It still shocked me at times that Olivia had such light hair coloring. The blond, almost white, hair took my breath away with how much it resembled Mike's.

Honestly if it weren't for the dark brown eyes that were the exact shade of mine and the fact that the twenty-six hours of labor were still fresh in my memory, I would swear the kid wasn't even mine.

"So," Rosalie started as I joined her on the sofa, placing Olivia's feet in my lap. "You going to tell me why you're wearing that look on your face?"

"What look?" I asked, knowing exactly what Rosalie was looking for but really not wanting to get in to it.

"Don't give me that," Rose said, a sharp look crossing her face. "You know exactly what look I'm talking about. What happened?"

"Nothing, Rosalie," I said, standing to pick Olivia up under the guise of putting her to bed.

It struck me as I lifted my baby into my arms just how small Olivia truly was, even at almost ten years old, I could still carry her with little difficulty.

I heard Rosalie's frustrated huff as I made my way down the hall toward Olivia's room.

Thankfully, the angel didn't wake as I shifted her and pulled the sheet back to lay her on the pillow. Tucking the comforter around her tiny shoulders, I bent to press a kiss to her temple. Resting my forehead against the side of Olivia's soft curls, I took a deep breath and inhaled the strawberry shampoo Olivia loved so much.

The anger boiled through my body at a near uncontrollable level and I fought it with everything in me. The same recurrent questions bounced around inside my head as I ran a hand over my baby's hair, smoothing it over the deep purple pillow.

Why? Why had Mike died and left me with all this? Why was Olivia suffering with such a disease? Why couldn't I just get over the loneliness and let it all go? Let him go?

I felt the sob rip through my chest and I sucked in a breath, trying to hold it together, bending to quickly kiss Olivia once more before I stood to make my way back out to the hallway.

There were moments when the loneliness was almost overwhelming. The fear that I couldn't hold it all together for both of us gripped me until I felt almost crushed under the weight.

I wrapped my arms around my middle as I felt the tremble shake my body; I felt chilled to my very bones.

I closed my eyes and fought the tears building behind my lids, swallowing hard to dislodge the lump clogging my throat.

Rosalie was in much the same spot I left her a short time ago, only now she was armed with a half gallon of Haagen-Daz and two spoons.

"Thought you looked like you were in serious need of some Haagen-Daz therapy," Rose said, quirking an eyebrow and holding out a spoon to me. I snorted and rolled my eyes as I took the spoon and fell into the cushion of the sofa beside Rosalie.

"You would be mightily correct in that assessment, sister."

Rosalie snickered and shook her head as she dug into the chocolate deliciousness and placed a monster spoonful of the decadent confection in her mouth, moaning loudly.

"Spill," she mumbled around the mouthful of ice cream.

I nodded, taking a large spoonful of my own, humming with delight as the cold cream melted on my tongue.

Closing my eyes, I dropped my head on the back of the sofa and took a deep breath before launching into the details of yet another failed attempt at having any type of romantic relationship with someone who wasn't Olivia's father.

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**Thanks for reading. I hope over the course of this story you will gain an understanding of the life of someone living with Cystic Fibrosis. Along the way I hope you also enjoy the story itself. **

**Until next time...**

**xoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1 **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you to all of you who R&R'd the first chapter for this little story. I deeply appreciate all of the heartfelt words and love that was shown toward me and my family. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. **

**A HUGE thank you to Jessica1971, beta extraordinaire. You're a priceless treasure among a sea of gemstones my dear and I thank you for being my friend. 3 **

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, I thank her for allowing us to play with her characters. The plot and storyline herein is all mine. =)**

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Chapter 2 Close encounters

_Six weeks later….._

"Olivia, honey," I called over my shoulder, grabbing her red-plaid _Justice _lunch bag, which was filled to the brim with not only lunch but the snacks Olivia would need for the day.

"Come on, squirt, you're going to be late for school."

"I'm coming, mom," Olivia said, skittering out of her room, a wide smile on her face.

"Well, well, well, don't you look pretty today," I laughed as she twirled with her arms held out to her sides.

She was sporting the new outfit she had gotten a few days ago on her latest shopping excursion she had gone on with Rosalie. Honestly, the two of them where horrible clothes horses.

I thanked my lucky stars that Rosalie liked to shop as much as Olivia did, not that I was opposed to it, I just couldn't spend hours on end looking for the best deal or the newest line to hit the stores like they did.

"I know," Olivia quipped and then giggled as she shouldered her backpack.

"Come on, silly girl, get your cute self into the car so we can get going," I said, ushering her out the door and toward the car.

Usually we weren't so pushed for time, but between oversleeping and then Olivia's therapies, we would be lucky if we got to school before the tardy bell rang.

I checked my watch for the thirtieth time and groaned with absolutely no hope of getting to my first patient on time.

It couldn't be helped. I guess that wasn't exactly true; had I not turned off my alarm and slipped back between the sheets, we wouldn't have been late, but there was just no getting around Olivia's therapies.

It wasn't possible to _not _do them, and they had to be completed before leaving for school.

After her last hospitalization, Olivia's doctor added two new medications to the laundry list of things she had to do every morning before school and every night before bed. It was in hopes of improving her lung functions, but at this point Olivia seemed to see it as one more inconvenience that slowed her down and made her a little less like her friends.

The airway clearance was the worst because the percussion vest Olivia had to wear for twenty minute session every morning and before bed made her stomach hurt. The vest essentially uses percussion or a pulsating vibration to dislodge any mucous that is inside the tiny airways in Olivia's lungs. The intention is to allow her to be able to cough that mucous out of her lungs, unfortunately for Olivia it's not something that she's able to do very often.

We had tried every combination of vest size, wrapping her in a thick towel, wearing a thick sweatshirt to cushion her abdomen, and nothing really made a lot of difference. I guess when you got pounded and shook like a milkshake, it was understandable that you would have some stomach cramps.

I looked at Olivia as she buckled up before I backed out of the drive. I smiled with the pride I felt at how well adjusted Olivia really seemed most of the time despite all she had to go through.

She had always been the same. Even as an infant, before we knew what was really going on, it was as if Olivia realized the medicines were helping her and she would actually beg for the nebulizer treatments.

My heart clenched as the images flashed through my mind. She was so tiny and she'd pick up the little mask and hold it to her face as she looked up at me or Mike. I shook my head, trying to rid it of those images.

Groaning inwardly as we entered the car rider line at Olivia's school, I thought about the quickly approaching end of yet another school year and what would be required for the beginning of the next.

Olivia's teacher this year was phenomenal, but it hadn't always been that way. Meetings with teachers in the past had not always gone as smoothly as the one with Mrs. Denali.

Even with a 504 Plan in place, which listed all of Olivia's special needs, I would always meet with the teacher personally. It was essential to Olivia's health that the teachers were up to speed on the requirements someone with Cystic Fibrosis had within the classroom.

I just felt more secure if I met with them one on one before the beginning of the school year and anytime Olivia was absent because of hospitalizations or there was a change in medications.

Many of the things that needed to be addressed within the classroom were important but simple ways to ensure Olivia stayed healthy and wasn't singled out anymore than necessary as different from her classmates.

Things like the fact that she needed to keep one medication with her at all times because it was something she only took when she needed it for severe stomach cramps, because the stomach cramps could sometimes be severe enough to double her over in pain if she didn't eat often or got too hungry between snack time and lunch. In addition to the medication, Olivia kept a bag of snacks that was always at the ready.

As if that weren't enough, Olivia would dehydrate quickly from normal levels of activity and suffered from headaches associated with the dehydration. So where other students weren't allowed to have bottles of water at their desk, she had permission.

I also always made a point to meet with the school nurse to go over medications and update any of the history that might be missing from the previous school year. Those meetings were usually to restock the supply of medications that were kept on hand, such as the Levinson Olivia took for the stomach cramps in case she couldn't locate the bottle she kept with her. Also, an Albuterol inhaler was kept on hand for Olivia to use if she needed it, and always before PE.

It didn't escape my notice that Olivia tired of telling classmates why she kept a salt shaker in her bag and was allowed to salt any of the food in her lunch she wanted.

Kids didn't understand, truth be known neither did many adults, that she needed the salt because of her disease. It wasn't so much that she needed it as a treatment of the disease but she craved it, to an almost pica level. Dr. Mitchell explained it as the fact her body didn't produce salt or chloride in the proper amounts so her body desired increased amounts.

As a registered nurse, that had been one huge learning curve for me, trying to adjust my thinking for what Olivia required and what I taught my cardiac patients every day about the risks of too much sodium intake.

"Don't forget you have dance class this afternoon," I said as we waited in the slow as molasses line for drop off in front of Olivia's elementary school.

Honestly, on mornings when I wasn't running behind schedule, the line drove me insane, but at that moment I thought I would pull my hair out if it didn't move...now.

"I know, mom, geez." Olivia rolled her eyes before a wide smile broke across her face.

"Oh my gawd, like okay already," I snorted, rolling my eyes and throwing out my best valley girl accent.

Olivia didn't seem to get the humor as she stared back at me like I had sprouted a third eye and possibly some strange appendage from my neck.

"Mom, god you are so embarrassing sometimes," she said, shaking her head.

I laughed and reached over the console to run a hand through Olivia's mop of silky curls. In close quarters the slight darkening under her eyes didn't escape my notice. I tried to look a little closer without her catching on to what I was doing. That slight discoloration was usually a pretty good indicator of how Olivia was truly feeling.

"Did you sleep okay?" I asked. I couldn't help myself, even though I had been in and out of her room several times through the night, the words just fell from me with no real conscious thought.

I hoped it was just the rush of the morning. Even though Olivia was chipper as usual, I knew the mad dash through our morning routine had taken a bit of the wind out of her sails. I knew she wouldn't complain. Olivia was a trooper and pushed on without a word to the contrary, but I needed to know that she was feeling okay.

"Yeah, mom," she said, smiling. "I slept just fine. Snug as a bug in a rug."

"Okay...just make sure to have a snack and do your Albuterol treatment as soon as you get home. Your leotard is hanging in the laundry room. I got that stain out so it should be good to go. Rose will be taking you to class, but I'll be there to pick you up right after. Okay?"

"Yep, no problem," she said as she pulled her backpack from between her feet and placed in it her lap.

"Oh," she said excitedly, turning to look at me and bouncing in her seat with a brilliant smile on her face, her eyes were wide with excitement. "I think we get our costumes for the recital today, right?"

"I think you're right," I laughed as I rolled slowly to the drop off area. "Alright, sweetie, I'll see you later this afternoon, okay?"

"Good morning, Olivia…Mrs. Newton," Assistant Principle Jones smiled as he opened the car door for Olivia.

"Good morning," Olivia sang as she stepped out of the car and pulled her backpack on her shoulders. "Bye mom, love you."

"Bye baby, love you, too," I said, returning Assistant Principle Jones' smile before watching Olivia disappear inside the school and pulling away from the curb.

Checking the time, I cursed under my breath, realizing the twenty minute trip to my first patient of the day was going to put my entire schedule off kilter.

As a hospice nurse, the majority of my cases were end-stage cardiac patients. A few of them had chronic obstructive pulmonary disease in addition to their varied heart conditions, but all were at the end of their road, so to speak.

Really, most of my time was spent comforting the families of the patient, ensuring they had the necessary equipment, medications, and phone numbers they needed to care for their family member in the interim between my visits.

The only time my job ever posed an issue was when I had to take mandatory call rotation. Those were the nights that I feared Olivia would get sick and I would get a call about one of my patients at the same time.

It was hard, emotional work, but it paid well and I was able to set my own hours. The flexibility in my schedule allowed me to take time off for Olivia's clinic appointments, and lately she had been in more than she had been out of the hospital.

I had a specific roster of patients to see every week but was free to set my schedule for those visits to what I saw fit under the orders of the respective physicians or what was required by the patient's condition.

Parking in the drive of my first patient's home, I smiled as I looked over the facade of the cheery little house.

The lawn was immaculately landscaped, making my smile spread wider. I knew that Mr. Volturi's son, Alec, owned a landscaping company, so it was good to see that he was keeping up the beautiful façade of his parent's home.

I grabbed my blackberry and pulled up the agency's webpage and logged my arrival time for the visit; I would do it again when I left.

Though the company had upgraded to electronic medical records, they had yet to provide the field nurses with laptops, so all my notes were still handwritten. At the end of the day I would swing by the office and enter the data. There were many nights that I wound up with charts and just logged in remotely from my home computer.

Exiting the car, I stooped to grab my duffel from the back seat. Shouldering it, I made my way to the front door of the little yellow house.

"Bella," Jane exclaimed, ushering me inside with a quick, tight hug and a weak smile.

Mr. Volturi's daughter, Jane, was a tiny sprite of a woman with white blond hair which she kept cropped in a short pixie cut. It was obvious in her every move how much she cared for their father and her brother was exactly the same.

"Hi, Jane," I laughed, returning her hug just as fiercely. "How are you today?"

"Oh, I'm good as can be, ya know?" Jane answered, shooting me another slightly sad smile.

I nodded and followed Jane through the front rooms of the house as we made our way toward where Mr. Volturi was waiting in his bedroom.

"Sorry I'm a bit late. Olivia and I overslept this morning," I said, checking my watch for the time once more. "How did he do through the night?"

"Bella," Jane sighed. "You are always early. Honestly, I don't worry because I know you'll be by when you can. He did as well as could be expected during the night. He seemed to be comfortable, so at this point that's about all we can ask for, right?"

"Thank you, Jane. And I'm glad that he was comfortable," I said, touching Jane's forearm and squeezing gently.

I followed Jane into the bedroom where Aro Volturi sat propped up on a mountain of pillows.

He refused to have a hospital bed brought in, though it would have made things easier on him and his family. I knew it was really nothing but his pride that kept him from allowing the change, that and the fact that the bed he vehemently hung onto was the one he shared with his beloved wife. Pride was very important to him, as was his wife Sophia, and so I did whatever I could to ensure that he held onto all he could.

Sometimes your pride and your memories were all you had left; I knew that feeling as well as anyone, and maybe that was why I tried to help Mr. Volturi hold onto what he could in the last days of his life.

"Good morning, Mr. Volturi," I said, dropping my duffel into the chair by his bed.

I was pretty sure that chair was the place where Jane sat watching over her father during the night, it was always in the same spot when I came in, as close to Mr. Volturi's head as possible.

"How are you this morning? You're looking really well, you must have slept well."

"Bella, my sweet," Aro Volturi said, his voice reedy and thin as he drew deeply from the tube at his nose providing him with much needed oxygen.

He held his hand out to me. His skin looked like thin parchment paper stretched over bone. I took his had as I did a quick scan of the levels and settings on the oxygen tanks, made a few mental notes that I would put on his chart, and settled on the bed next to Aro Volturi.

"So," I started, looking into his eyes with a smile.

He was such a shameless flirt that he got a kick out of it when he thought I was flirting back. I could just imagine how he was quite the ladies man in his prime, because lord knew he was still a skirt chaser even at close to eighty years old.

I had really come to enjoy my visits with Mr. Volturi, for so many reasons. Though his physical condition continued to deteriorate and he had wasted to little more than flesh and bone, there was always a smile on his face with a story to tell.

"Tell me how you're feeling this morning and what I can do to make you more comfortable," I said.

The smile on my face only widened as Aro chuckled in his thin voice and shook his head at me, knowing full well I was indulging him, but he ate it up anyway.

"Ah...beautiful, Bella...you do an old man such a...service," he said, squeezing my hand and smiling. "Just to let...me look upon...you is a gift. So...much like my Sophia."

"Always the flatterer, Mr. Volturi," I laughed. "Your Sophia was a beautiful woman. Mrs. Volturi loved you very much."

He nodded and I noticed his eyes were a little misty. I felt my throat tighten because I knew that look and the emotions behind it. I also knew that at that moment it wasn't me who he saw but his precious Sophia sitting before him.

He and his wife had been married for more than fifty years before her unexpected passing two years ago.

"How's that little," Aro sucked in a breath of air, "girl of yours, Bella?"

I smiled as I thought of Olivia's face when she got out of my car little more than an hour before.

"She's good right now, Mr. Volturi, thank you."

Aro reached out with his thin hand and patted my knee. "She's lucky...to have you...for her mamma."

He nodded and winked as I watched him struggle to catch back up with his air supply after speaking in such a long stretch.

"Thank you, Mr. Volturi," I said when I knew he was a little more comfortable and could really hear what I was saying. "I have to say I think I'm the lucky one."

I glanced down over the file I picked up from my bag and made a few notes before completing his exam. I did a check on his port site and made sure that the medication supplies were adequate to get them through until the pharmacy delivery, which was scheduled for the following morning.

"Okay, Mr. Volturi, I think we're all finished for today," I said, closing up his pajama top after I did one last listen for any lung abnormalities, well at least any that weren't already present.

"I'll be back on Thursday to do another check up, okay?"

I patted his arm and he gave me a weak smile and a nod of the head.

I smiled at him as I thought that I would really miss him when he passed on, but he suffered so much that I felt almost guilty for wanting to hang onto him a little longer. There was something about him that reminded me of my grandfather, and it was hard to keep a professional distance.

_Who are you kidding? _

I never kept a 'professional' distance with any of my patients. It was totally a lost cause to even try as I always got personally involved and hopelessly attached. It was just my way.

I said my goodbyes to Mr. Volturi as he drifted off to sleep and made my way back out to where Jane waited.

After speaking with Jane for a few moments, reminding her of the medication deliveries and the need to notify me if they did not receive the supplies when they were due, I ensured there was nothing more the family needed before I left to make my next visit.

I slid behind the wheel and made a few more notes on Mr. Volturi's chart before moving onto the next patient and going through basically the same routine.

Four hours and three patients later, I walked into the lobby of the Children's Hospital.

When I found out I was going to be heading to the hospital lab across the street from the Children's Hospital where Rosalie worked to drop off some lab work, I sent her a text to see if she wanted to grab some lunch together.

It was rare that I was in the area, much less across the street from Rosalie's hospital while I was working, so it was a treat when my last patient of the morning needed blood work for drug levels. The test needed to be expedited so her physician could make a change in dosage if needed, so I made the trip and got the bonus of having lunch with my sister.

When Rose sent a reply, we made plans to meet outside the cafeteria.

I made my way to the bank of elevators at the backside of the lobby and pulled out my blackberry while I waited for the car to arrive. Deciding I could use the few minutes before I found Rosalie to work on a to-do list I started earlier in the day. I added a few things I knew needed to be done as soon as I picked Olivia up from dance class, like making the trek to the pharmacy to pick up refills on her medications.

I felt a tingling, almost like an electric shock, at the base of my spine as I heard a deep masculine chuckle.

I turned to see a tall man in blue scrubs and a white lab coat. He had a shock of copper brown hair and was smiling, he seemed to be listening to someone speaking as he held a cell phone in his hand. His stethoscope was draped casually around his neck.

From where I stood, I couldn't see the name on his lab coat, but I was pretty sure he was a doctor; he just had that air about him.

Judging by the smile on his face, I figured he must have been speaking to his wife. For reasons I didn't quite understand, my stomach twisted at the thought that he was in fact speaking to a wife or girlfriend.

Well, wasn't that just the dumbest thing...I didn't even know the man, so why on Earth would I be jealous of the woman he must be speaking with?

I shook my head and turned back to my 'to-do' list, trying to rid myself of the ridiculous sensation. It must have been the visit with Mr. Volturi this morning. It had all kinds of feelings stirred up inside me.

The elevator signaled its arrival and I stepped back slightly as the doors opened to allow a few people to exit before entering and hitting the button for the ground floor.

"Mom, I gotta go, I'll see you tonight though, k? Yes ma'am. Love you, too."

_He was talking to his mom, now that is sweet__. And he said 'yes ma'am', _I thought as his lovely deep voice said his goodbye to his mother. I couldn't stop the smile that spread over my face.

The doors began to close and that same tickling in my spine was there again; it was weird and a little disorienting. Maybe I pinched a nerve maneuvering Mrs. Robinson earlier. Lord knows the woman doesn't make it easy on me to move her around.

"Hey, hold the door, please," the doctor's voice rang out.

I quickly slid my hand between the doors and held down the _open door_ button.

I watched as the man stepped into the car and met my eyes with a slow smile spreading on his handsome face.

_Good__, lord…._ My breath caught in my chest as I looked into his eyes,

I noticed the way they crinkled at the edges as his smile became a very sexy smirk and he ran a hand through that thick head of messy hair.

"Thanks, I'm supposed to be meeting a friend for lunch and I'm running late, so you saved me from having to take the stairs," he said.

I couldn't explain why, but his gaze was so intense it felt as though he was looking inside my mind.

The sensation that had been a tickle became a shiver as his eyes seemed to drink in every feature of my face.

I was stunned by the piercing emerald green of his eyes and had to consciously blink to break the connection flowing between us as the doors slid closed behind him and he stepped to the back wall of the car.

"No problem," I said, shaking my head and fighting to regain some composure.

"So, you're a nurse," he asked as he wrapped his hands around the railing and settled casually against the wall. "I haven't seen you around here, but you're in scrubs so I'm assuming…."

"Um…yeah," I said, leaning my shoulder into the wall at my left and turning slightly toward him. Thankfully we were alone inside the elevator.

"I'm a home health….well, hospice nurse, really."

"So, uh…may I ask your name?" he asked.

It struck me then that he wasn't as casual or relaxed as I first thought. He actually seemed to be as unsettled as I felt.

"Yeah…it's ah…Bella," I said, taking a deep breath as he smiled at me once again.

"Edward," he said, pushing off the wall and extending his hand. "It's very nice to meet you, Bella."

I felt like the wind was knocked out of me as my name rolled off his tongue and our hands met. I gasped slightly and looked up into his incredibly green eyes as the tingle in my spine got much worse.

I was confused by the expression on his face as his brow furrowed. He suddenly released my hand and stepped back to assume his previous position.

"Uh…." he paused as though he was having a difficult time forming words, but that little smirk was back on his face. "Are you meeting someone for lunch? I mean, is that why you're in the hospital? Or maybe, well I guess you're probably here to see a patient, aren't you? Because yeah, you're a nurse, and um….never mind. I didn't mean to be nosy, it's none of my business and I'm probably making you uncomfortable…..yeah, I'm going to shut up now," he huffed a breath through his nose and ran a hand through his hair as he shook his head and dropped his eyes to the floor.

I giggled despite myself because there was something incredibly endearing about his rambling awkwardness. The fact that he could look like he did and still be awkward was….cute. I giggled again and slapped a hand over my mouth.

"I'm sorry, um...yeah, actually, I'm meeting my sister for lunch," I said.

It struck me as strange that for some reason I didn't mind him asking questions. It was unusual for me because inane conversation with complete strangers was not high on my list of enjoyable things to do.

Which would be why I had so much difficulty meeting new people, now wasn't it? I was a real gem of a conversationalist with anyone who wasn't on their deathbed or a family member of said deathbed occupant.

I rolled my eyes at my own stupid internal sarcasm.

"What's got you so aggravated?" he asked.

"Huh," I said, looking up to meet his curious gaze.

He stood with his arms folded over his chest, ankles crossed, and a complete front of nonchalance. It made me smile even more when I realized that's exactly what it was...a front. As I looked into his eyes, I saw a little flicker of uncertainty and it made me wonder why anyone like him would ever be insecure or uncertain of the effect he had on the opposite sex. Hell, he probably had the same effect on men, as well.

I was enthralled by the signals his body language was trying to throw off, which were contradicted by the message in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, it's just...well, you were rolling your eyes and I….you looked like you were annoyed by something. I… sorry, it's none of my business, really," he said, dropping his eyes and running a hand through his hair once again. Obviously it was a nervous habit.

I felt my mouth fall open and groaned as I realized he had been watching me while I chided myself for being such a social nit-wit.

I smiled as I watched him shift his position uncomfortably, crossing and uncrossing his ankles, trying to give off the appearance of nonchalance even though it was obvious he was anything but comfortable.

"Um…..it was nothing. I-," I was cut off mid-sentence as the bell indicated we had reached our floor and the doors of the elevator slid open.

I took that as a sign to high tail it away from this Edward guy, because his very presence had something familiar stirring around in the pit of my stomach and it scared the shit out of me.

"It was nice to meet you, Edward," I said as I exited the elevator and made a bee-line for where I was meeting up with Rosalie.

* * *

**Thanks again to all of you who are reading and reviewing or maybe just reading. Thank you!**

**To find out more about Cystic Fibrosis please check out www(.)cff(.)org**

**Quick note of business. I plan to post this story through the month of June. My intention is that the story will be completed by the end of this month. We'll see how that works...Thank you again! **

**until next time...**

**xoxoxoxoxo  
**

**bellasunderstudy1  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I truly cannot thank you all enough for the overwhelming response to this story. Thank you for taking this little cathartic ride with me. **

**Don't know what I would do without my Yoda...thank you Jessica1971, she is superbeta extraordinaire and she makes my words prettier. Thank you!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight, I thank her for allowing me to play with her characters. I own nothing but the ideas behind this story,I own nothing but the ideas behind this story.**

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Chapter 3

EPOV

_"_Shit, shit, shit," I cursed under my breath as I made my way down the hall toward the bank of elevators in the hospital lobby. "Shit, he is so going to kick my ass."

I looked down and checked my watch. I was supposed to meet Emmett in the cafeteria exactly fifteen minutes ago.

It was completely unavoidable, but I hated being late. The mother of a patient who was admitted earlier in the day cornered me on my way out of the ER and I had to make a pit-stop by my office to pick up a file I needed to review for a consult case I was to look in on later in the afternoon.

I loved interacting with my patients and their families, but there were times when the same inane questions completely rattled my cage and the conversation with that mother happened to be one that qualified.

Emmett McCarty was the head of the orthopedic department, which meant he was technically my boss. Strange as it seemed we discovered we actually had a lot in common and became fast friends after I joined the team a little over a year ago.

Though Emmett was originally from Tennessee and I was from Chicago, both our families moved to Washington State when we were kids. We both had younger sisters who drove us completely bat-shit crazy most of the time.

An unhealthy obsession with all things sports related, especially baseball, had led to epic arguments and was yet another thing we bonded over. The knock down drag outs we got into over the Cubs versus the Braves were becoming legendary in the department.

Like me, Emmett attended undergrad at UDub. I moved back to Chicago after graduating and completed my residency at Northwestern while Emmett continued on to Emory University before taking the position at Children's Hospital after his residency. That move, as well as being a damn talented surgeon, set him up for becoming one of the youngest physicians to ever be appointed chief of their department in the hospital's history.

After completing the residency program at Northwestern, I returned to Washington and joined my father's private practice team.

Carlisle Cullen founded one of the most successful children and adolescent orthopedic practices in the northwest. It had been a huge stamp on my curriculum vitae to have Cullen Orthopedics listed, regardless of the fact that my last name was the same.

I grabbed my ringing cell phone from my pocket as I rounded the corner and smiled as I checked the ID.

"Hi, mom," I said as I brought the cell to my ear and laughed at my mother's greeting. "I know, mom. I've just been really busy. So your flight was okay? The car was ready for you, right?"

Esme jumped in with both feet and filled me in on the entire trip out from Washington. I was happy that my mother had decided to come out for a visit. I really missed her and my father.

Ah, hell, I missed my sister, too, annoying little shit that she was. I hadn't seen any of my family since Christmas months ago, and I had to admit I was looking forward to the one-on-one with my mom.

Leaving my father's practice and making the move to Atlanta had been somewhat of an out of the blue decision, but I didn't regret it. The change in scenery and people was a refreshing experience.

I knew that I could have made a great career by continuing in private practice with my father, and though I loved working with Carlisle, it just became apparent that it wasn't where I wanted to be for the rest of my life.

If I was being honest, even though it was a great shot in the arm to have my father backing me up, I needed to prove to myself that I could make it without the safety net of my father's reputation. I wanted to know without a doubt that the accolades I received were truly on my own merit, not because I was Carlisle Cullen's son, his progeny so to speak.

I needed to know that my face was the one people saw when they heard the name Dr. Cullen, not just my father's.

I made my way into the lobby as my mother continued talking my ear off. I couldn't deny how happy I was with the fact she was so close.

We were going to meet later in the evening to have dinner. I had arranged for a car to pick her up at the airport and take her back to my loft in Atlantic Station. I left a key at the security desk so she could let herself in without any problems.

As I rounded the corner and entered the alcove where the elevators were located, I was struck stupid for a split second by a mass of mahogany hair pulled into a messy bun on top of a petite woman's head. There were little strands of hair which had fallen over the nape of her neck and around the one side of her face.

She was wearing soft pink scrubs with a pair of bright white and hot pink Nike Shox. She didn't have a lab coat on, so I couldn't get a name or what department she worked in.

I made a conscious effort to break my lecherous inspection and turned away slightly. Unfortunately, my eyes had a different idea and they continued to take in her form until I saw her turn to look at me over her shoulder. She did a quick once over of me from head to foot before she turned back to the blackberry she held in her hands.

In those few seconds when she looked me over, I felt my heart stutter and my breath catch as I tried to act as though I was completely engrossed in my phone conversation. It made me feel slightly guilty that I wasn't really paying attention to what my mother was saying.

I noticed she looked almost sad as the she turned away. I had the strangest urge to reach out to her, to touch her and take whatever it was that caused that emotion away, to make her forget whoever made her feel such a way.

I shook my head, trying to dispel the feeling before I actually acted on the overwhelming desire, because that was just insane on more than one level.

I tried to focus my concentration on what my mother was saying as a distraction from the strange sensations running through me. Honestly, I was having a hell of a time tracking the conversation and knew I was staring at the tiny woman with the sad eyes.

I chuckled as I caught a little piece of something my mother said and noticed the woman look over her shoulder in my direction once again and caught the wistful expression on her face, which confused me.

She turned away just as the elevator signaled its arrival.

I watched the elevator empty and the woman stepped inside the car. I called out to hold the door as I ended the phone call with my mother.

All I needed was to have to take the stairs to the cafeteria when I was already running late, and well...I wanted to try to talk to her.

I thanked whatever higher power there be which provided that the car was empty when I stepped inside the car, save the two of us.

For all the fronting I tried, I knew I really had no game what-so-ever. I mean, I never really had an issue talking with women in general, but it always seemed I turned into the fumbling, bumbling tongue-tied pocket-protector wearing social outcast I had been in high-school when I came in contact with someone who was the least bit interesting.

And _this _woman was definitely interesting...like stunningly so, and true to form my inner geek came spilling out of my mouth, not the confidant persona I had perfected over the years to use while dealing with patients and their families.

Awkward didn't even begin to describe me during my years in high school. To say I didn't do a whole lot of dating throughout those years would be an understatement. Braces, glasses, and an acne condition that was a dermatologist's wet dream were not conducive to a full social calendar.

Thankfully, by the time I started College I had outgrown all that adolescent angst and felt more comfortable in my own skin, but it's funny how the things you go through those years in high school stick with you well into adulthood.

There were a couple of girls I was involved with for a while at UDub, and then there was one girl after my first year at Northwestern with whom I had a long term relationship. Unfortunately, Irina turned out to be more interested in what being connected with a Cullen could do for her career than really anything I offered personally.

I shook myself internally to rid that memory from the forefront of my mind and refocused on the present.

I reached a hand out as I introduced myself to the enchanting creature before me with the sad but incredibly beautiful brown eyes and was shocked as a tingling sensation shot through my hand and up my arm as our hands met and she said her name. The warm sensation traveled through my arm and my heart fluttered as the sensation settled somewhere near the center of my chest.

I furrowed my brow as I looked down at our joined hands and dropped hers, looking up to meet her eyes in confusion.

Bella was a perfect name for such a beautiful woman.

I settled against the back wall of the car as I tried to understand the feelings that shot through me when I touched her hand. I realized I was rambling, but couldn't help it. I was so unnerved around this woman.

When she looked up to me again I was struck stupid for a moment as I stared into those beautiful deep brown eyes.

My brain completely scrambled and I knew I was probably making her uncomfortable staring at her, so I dropped my gaze to the floor and ran a hand through my hair.

My head snapped up as I heard the cutest giggle and couldn't stop the smile that spread over my face as I met her eyes again.

Bella said she was meeting her sister for lunch, which for some ridiculous reason made me immensely happy. The knowledge that she wasn't meeting a guy made the knot in my stomach relax slightly and I took a deep breath.

I watched as Bella dropped her eyes back to the blackberry in her hands and seemed to be carrying on some type of an internal debate. As I watched, she rolled her eyes and snorted in apparent aggravation at whatever thoughts were running through her mind.

"What?"

"Huh?" she asked, looking up at me with a confused expression.

"You were rolling your eyes and I….well…..you just looked like you were annoyed by something."

I wasn't really sure why I asked, but for some reason I seemed to have no mental filter around this woman and the words just fell from me without any real conscious thought. For some irrational reason I was worried that it might be me that annoyed her. The feeling that it was my presence that was an aggravation to her made me incredibly uncomfortable and I shifted my position, crossing and uncrossing my ankles and running a hand through my hair as I waited for her to answer.

The smile on Bella's face when she looked at me was encouraging, but just as she was about to speak the elevator signaled we had reached our destination. So instead of an answer, she shot me a quick goodbye. With a 'nice to meet you', she was gone before the doors were even completely open.

I exited the elevator with little hope of spotting Bella. I looked around the vestibule, but she had melted into the throngs of people in the cafeteria. With the size of the hospital it was unlikely that I would find her again.

I shook my head and laughed at myself, running a hand through my hair as I made my way to meet Emmett. It was slightly disorienting to be that tied up around another person and I wasn't exactly sure whether I liked it or not, but I couldn't deny that I would have liked to talk with Bella more.

"Gah, 'bout damn time," Emmett's booming voice rang out over the din of noise just outside the cafeteria and brought my attention out of my thoughts about the giant fail with Bella.

"Hey, man. Sorry, got caught on the way by a patient's mom," I said as Emmett clamped a big hand on my back and we walked into the cafeteria.

"No worries, my man, I know how it goes," Emmett said, perusing the selections from the hot bar and smiling at the cafeteria worker. "Hey, Grace, how are you today?"

I smiled as I thought about how Emmett seemed to know everyone in the hospital and greeted all of them as though they were family. That was one of the reasons we had become such good friends so quickly. Emmett truly never met a stranger.

The thought that he might know Bella ran through my mind, and I quickly shot down the idea of finding out. I didn't want to get into him trying to play matchmaker or asking questions I wasn't sure how to answer.

We made our selections and wove our way through the horde to get to the check out.

"So," Emmett paused, allowing a nurse to step in front of him and turning to look over his shoulder at me with a devious grin on his face. "You know my girlfriend, Rose, right?"

"Yeah," I said, grabbing a soft drink from the cooler before joining Emmett in line.

"Okay, so she's working today and she wanted to have lunch-"

"Em, man, you should have just said something, I'll just catch ya later," I cut him off, thinking that he should have told me that he wanted to have lunch with his girlfriend. I had no intention of butting in on a couples lunch date.

"No. No, man, that's not what I meant," Emmett said, shaking his head as he set his tray down and greeted the cashier by name, and after a whole lot of arguing he paid for both of our lunches.

We made our way out into the dining area of the cafeteria.

"So, yeah, anyway, Rosie doesn't usually have lunch in the cafeteria when she's on duty, but I guess she got a call from her sister, and so," Emmett paused to look around the dining area I assumed to locate Rosalie. "We're going to have lunch with them."

Emmett smiled and I followed his gaze to see Rosalie waving from a table on the patio just outside the regular dining area. I'm not sure why, but I had a sudden feeling that there was more going on here than just having lunch with Emmett's girlfriend and her sister.

Before I could ask him what he was up to, Emmett tilted his head toward the table and winked, "Come on, my man, there's my girl now."

I shook my head and followed him through the dining area with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. We made our way out onto the patio where Rosalie was waiting.

"Hey, babe," Emmett said as he bent to press a kiss to Rosalie's cheek. "You remember Edward, right?"

"Yeah. Hey, Edward, how are you?" Rosalie said, smiling. "You guys take a seat."

"Hi, Rosalie," I greeted as I moved around the table toward the seat opposite Rosalie.

"Where's your sister?" Emmett asked as he took the seat to Rosalie's right and gestured to the salad plate in front of the empty chair to her left.

"She's in the restroom, she should be back any," Rosalie paused as she looked over Emmett's shoulder and smiled. "Oh, here she comes."

I turned to follow Rosalie's gaze and saw a beautiful blond woman crossing the patio area toward our table. I watched as the woman smiled and greeted Rosalie but continued right on by our table.

I felt my brow furrow and looked back in confusion to see Emmett was obviously embracing someone.

I looked back at Rosalie and then heard a giggle that was suddenly very familiar, one I didn't think I would ever hear again.

"Bella," I breathed.

I stood just as Emmett released Rosalie's sister and stepped back. The breath left my lungs in a rush. I was stunned as I looked into Bella's eyes once again and a smile pulled at the corner of my mouth. To say I was pleased with the turn of events would be an understatement.

"Edward," Emmett said, smiling as he wrapped an arm around Bella's small shoulders. "This is Rosalie's sister, Bella Newton. Bella, this is Edward Cullen. He works with me in Orthopedics."

"Hi, Edward. Nice to see you again," Bella said.

The smile on my face only widened as I watched Bella round the table to take her seat and I slowly sank back into mine.

"Again? What are you talking about '_again_'? When did you guys meet?" Rosalie asked, a completely confused expression on her face as she looked back and forth between us.

"Oh, we met in the elevator on the way down," I said, continuing to look into Bella's eyes as she nodded and smiled without breaking eye contact.

"Well, hot damn, that's awesome," Emmett said, clapping his hands together as he took his seat again. "Makes things a whole lot easier, huh, Rosie?"

Bella blinked, breaking the connection between us. I watched the smile fall from her face as Emmett's words seemed to strike a cord. I felt my brow furrow in confusion at the sudden change in her expression as she turned to look at her sister with narrowed eyes.

"What is that supposed to mean, Rosalie? Makes what things easier?" she hissed.

It seemed Bella and I had come to the same realization that Rosalie and Emmett were playing matchmaker, and from the look on her face, Bella was less than pleased with that revelation.

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**Thanks again to all of you who have read and reviewed. To learn more about Cystic Fibrosis please visit www(.)cff(.)org . **

**I hope you enjoyed getting to know a little about Edward's side of the story. Chapter 4 will be up a little later this week, again thank you all. **

**xoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. We all know this. I'm playing with her characters. The plot and storyline within this story is mine, that's it, nothing else. Thank the heavens SM allows us to play in her world. **

**A huge thank you to Jessica1971, my awesomesauce beta/Master Yoda. Thank you my dear, I couldn't do this stuff without you!**

**Okay one more quick thing, thank you to all you wonderful readers who have alerted, fav'd, read and reviewed. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I don't get a chance to respond to all of your reviews but I read them all and I thank you for your support and your love. **

**To find out more about Cystic Fibrosis please visit: www(.)cff(.)org**

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Chapter 4 The weight of the world

BPOV

"What is that supposed to mean, Rosalie? 'Makes what things easier'," I hissed through gritted teeth.

"It doesn't mean anything, Bella. What are you talking about?" Rosalie said, laughing a slightly nervous sound as she looked around the table. "Emmett had already made plans to have lunch with Edward," Rosalie gestured toward Edward. "You know I don't usually have lunch down here, but Emmett was going to be here, you were going to be here, so I just thought it would be nice for us all to have lunch together. Emmett simply meant that it would be easier to have conversation since you two had already met. Didn't you, Em?"

Emmett looked like he was about to piss himself as Rosalie nailed him with a stare that literally could freeze hell over. That pretty much sealed the deal for me and I knew they were at it again with the matchmaking crap.

"Uh…yeah?" Emmett said, more a question than a statement, then cleared his throat and looked me in the eye. "Yeah, I just meant that it would make it easier to talk if we didn't have to go through all the formal introduction stuff."

I looked between Rosalie and Emmett with narrowed eyes then took a deep breath and nodded my head, trying really hard not to cause a scene by completely losing it on them.

It wasn't Edward's fault and I didn't want him to feel bad about what my sister and Emmett had pulled.

Judging by the expression on Edward's face, it seemed he had come to the same conclusion I had about this little lunch get together. He laughed quietly and shook his head.

For some reason, the fact that Edward was just as clueless to what was going on as I made me even angrier at the meddling twosome.

I picked up my fork, stabbing the cherry tomato on my plate and popping it in my mouth, letting the subject drop. Strangely, the act of chewing helped me to calm down.

As my temper began to cool, my brain ran over the short conversation Edward and I shared in the elevator. When he had touched my hand, there was most definitely some kind of spark, but really what did that even mean? It could totally have been nothing but static electricity, but you didn't get a warm feeling in your chest from just static electricity, did you?

Whatever the sensation was, I couldn't deny there was some kind of connection between us.

I listened to Edward's smooth, soft voice, and just as it did when I first heard him speaking to his mother earlier, my heart beat faster.

Honestly, I would have to be deaf, dumb, and blind not to have been attracted to the man. I mean...really? Edward was gorgeous, but as I listened to the conversation roll around me, it was evident he was also an incredibly kind man and dedicated to his profession.

He had a reverence for his patients that was almost worshipful for the struggles that many of them endured. I discovered that he did a lot of charity work with Doctors Without Borders and had recently returned from Honduras where he helped an eight year old little boy walk again after repairing his club foot.

As I thought about what an incredibly kind heart this man must have, it was as if it made this whole thing even worse. It was one thing to pull this bait and switch bullshit on me, but it was an entirely different thing to do that to Edward.

It might have made a difference if this was the first time these two had done something like this, but unfortunately it wasn't...by a long measure.

Over the last six weeks, Rose and Emmett seemed to make it their life's mission to put me in contact with every single heterosexual male with a pulse and a job that they could put their hooks into.

It was ridiculous and made me feel beyond pathetic.

Thing is, I had become accustomed to the combined meddling from the dynamic duo and ignored it for the most part, but to do that to Edward?

That was completely unacceptable.

I had to give props to them, because it was actually pretty impressive how they wove the ins and outs of every reason they felt the two of us could get along famously under the guise of small talk.

I tried to choke down my salad and carried on with polite conversation as best I could, but with each tick of the clock, the urge to scream became almost overwhelming.

The longer I sat, listening to my sister and Emmett throw out every possible reason known to man as to why Edward and I were compatible, the angrier I got.

"Well, guys, this has been so much fun, but I've got to run," Rosalie said, wiping her mouth with a napkin and smiling around the table. "The four of us should get together and go out some-"

That was the straw that broke my proverbial camel's back and kicked me right over the edge into pissed-off-ville.

"Enough," I said, cutting her off and throwing my fork onto my tray.

"What?" Rosalie looked at me in total shock as if she had no idea what I was talking about.

I leveled a look at her and she closed her gaping mouth quickly. I slowly turned to look at Edward and smiled tightly.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Edward, and I would sincerely like to apologize for the awkward and extremely uncomfortable position that my sister and Emmett have put you in," I said, holding up a hand to stop him as he started to argue the point.

"I appreciate whatever you were going to say, but really it's unnecessary. You seem like a really nice guy, but this," I gestured around the table, "was a mistake. I'm very sorry that you were tricked into what you thought was just lunch with your friend. It's clear they felt they could throw us together here today and then get you to agree to a date with a woman you don't know because you feel obligated after this covert set up. So," I turned to look at both Rosalie and Emmett before continuing, "thank you, but that's just not going to happen."

I pushed away from the table, stood slowly from my chair, and shouldered my bag before picking up my tray.

When I looked up again, I was shocked by what I saw. Edward had risen from his chair and was staring intently at me with a pained look on his face.

"Bella," he whispered as he reached out to me.

"I..." I took a step back and shook my head. "It was really nice to meet you, Edward. I… I'm sorry, goodbye."

I turned away quickly from his piercing green eyes to look at Rosalie and Emmett. At least the two of them had the good grace to look contrite for creating such an awful situation.

"I'll see you at home later," I croaked, looking to Rosalie and walking away from the table as calmly but as quickly as I could.

I had to get away before I completely lost control of my emotions; the way Edward looked at me had my heart slamming in my chest and my throat constricting. The burn behind my lids was becoming too much to hold in and I wiped at the tear that slipped from the corner of my eye.

Thank the merciful heavens that the elevator had just arrived. I hopped on as soon as the way was clear. When I turned around, what I saw was something I never expected and my heart sank into my stomach. Edward was making his way from the patio toward me; our eyes locked for a split second as the doors slid closed and then he was gone.

It didn't escape my notice that the simple act of the elevator doors closing and blocking him from me was symbolic of the reasons I couldn't let whatever had flowed between us go any further.

I had no doubt that he would leave. Once he realized Olivia and I were a package deal, it would be no different than it was with Josh.

The thing was, in the few moments I had been in Edward's presence, I knew in my bones that when he walked away it would be so much worse than what I had dealt with when Josh left. Judging by how my chest ached after only spending an hour around him, if we spent any amount of time together, the pain would be insurmountable.

I realized in those few short moments the hole that Edward would leave was too close to the one left by Mike's death.

My heart just wasn't big enough or strong enough to take another hit like that; I couldn't survive that, not again.

It was better to stop whatever it was before it began than to deal with the aftermath. And I wouldn't risk Olivia getting hurt, not after how she felt when Josh didn't want to be a part of our lives any longer. I would not put her through that again.

The problem was… I knew I was running away from Edward, from the feelings that I felt when I was near him. Something seemed to awake inside me from a place I thought I had closed off a long time ago, and it was too dangerous to let that happen. For my sanity, it was too much to allow.

I felt like a coward, but there was nothing to be done about it. I wouldn't watch him walk away when things got difficult.

No… I shook my head as I realized it wasn't being cowardly at all, it was simply self-preservation.

Yes, self-preservation was exactly what pushed me across the parking garage toward my car.

I swore under my breath and tried to swallow the lump rising in my throat as I slipped inside and started the engine.

When I left the parking garage to make my way to my next patient's home, I knew that it was the right thing to do. Even if there was a connection between Edward and I, it wouldn't last.

Sparks ignite and burn out just as quickly.

A supernova only burns so long and then what? Nothing; a huge black hole takes its place. I was done feeling as though my life was a black hole.

I had a beautiful daughter who was absolutely the light of my life. Olivia was my life and I smiled as the image of her beautiful face when she hopped out of my car earlier flashed through my mind.

Walking away from that table was absolutely the right decision. It was better this way, it had to be.

I glared at my cell phone as it starting ringing just as I put the car in park in front of my first afternoon patient's home. Knowing the call was probably from Rosalie, I checked the ID just in case it was Olivia's school.

When I saw it was in fact Rosalie's number, I let the call roll over to voice mail and got out of the car.

Grabbing my duffel, I made my way up the walkway toward my next patient and tried to be the professional I needed to be, forgetting everything that had happened a short time before.

I couldn't think of those green eyes that wrinkled at the corners when he smiled or the nervous way he ran his hand through his hair. I didn't need to remind myself of the deep cadence of his voice or the way his quiet laugh rumbled through his chest. No, none of those things would help me with the things I had to do in the next few hours, and they certainly were not going to help me remember why walking away from that table had been the right decision.

Several hours later I was at my desk, entering the last of my notes into the computer records for the patients I had seen throughout the day.

I checked that my time in the field was logged, closed down my computer, and waved goodbye to Gianna, the receptionist, as I made my way out to my car.

As I settled behind the wheel, the faint beep from my phone reminded me I had ignored Rosalie's call from earlier in the day.

I fished my cell from the bottom of my bag and noticed I had a text message, which I was sure would also be from my dear sister.

_Hey B. Sorry! Pls don't b mad. Em & I love U & want u to b happy. I'll drop O off 4. C-U home later. _

I smiled as I read the text over again. As much as I wanted to still be angry with them, I knew what she said was true. Rosalie and Emmett were only trying to help because they loved me and Olivia very much.

Maybe if it had been someone other than Edward, it wouldn't have been so horrifying. No, I really couldn't say that. It would have been just as embarrassing with another, but with Edward I felt something more, and for whatever reason that made it all worse.

Tossing my phone back in my purse without listening to the voice mail, I pulled out onto the highway and headed for Olivia's dance studio.

Though my anger over the hook-up situation had cooled a great deal, I still intended on having a long discussion with my sister when I got home. We needed to set up some guidelines about this whole hooking me up with random men. Though I appreciated their concern, it had to stop. End of story. The situation with Edward was the final nail in that coffin.

My heart clenched as an image of Edward's face flashed through my mind. The expression he wore as the elevator doors closed between us was confusing. He looked…..heartbroken?

I must have imagined something more than what was truly there, because that couldn't be right, could it? The pained look in his eyes couldn't have been real because it just wasn't possible for him to feel like that after having just met me. He didn't know anything about me and I knew very little about him.

It just wasn't possible to have such strong feelings for someone you just met. Right?

I shook my head to clear my mind as I pulled into the carpool line in front of Olivia's dance school. Olivia's dance studio was located in the heart of our little city, in a brick building originally built in the twenties as a retail store. Mrs. Christy, the owner, had refurbished the building about fifteen years ago, turning it into a dance studio. It was a really beautiful building.

"Hi, mom," Olivia said as she flopped down in the passenger seat and buckled up.

"Hey, baby. How was ballet today?" I asked, pulling out onto the main street through town.

"It was great mom," Olivia said, sighing as she laid her head back on the seat. "I had fun, we got our recital costumes. Rosalie took them home when she dropped me off."

"Oh good, did you have to have them fitted?" I asked, turning to look at my daughter.

My brow furrowed as I took in her slightly paler than usual coloring. Olivia's fatigue after dance class or after a full week of school wasn't unusual, but she seemed more tired than normal at the moment.

"Yep, everything fit great and Ms. Lisa showed Rose how to put the hair thing in," she said, reaching into her duffel bag for her bottle of water. "Good thing because there's two, you have to switch them between sets."

I nodded as I merged onto the highway before turning back to take another look at my daughter. I really didn't like how tired she seemed.

"Olivia," I said quietly to get her attention. "You okay?"

She turned the bottle up and took a long drink before answering, "Yeah, mom, I'm okay. Just tired."

"You sure?"

"Yep," she said, smiling as she lolled her head in my direction.

I placed my hand on her head and returned her smile. Though I had planned to stop by the grocery store on the way home to pick up a few things we needed, I knew that was not going to be an option with Olivia not feeling well. That was a chore that would have to be put off for another day.

"Okay. How 'bout we have pizza for dinner? I think I have a crust in the fridge and we can make whatever you can come up with as long as it has extra cheese, yeah?"

"Yeah, that sounds good," she said, turning back to look out the window.

Her less than enthusiastic response to making homemade pizza was just one more clue as to how she was really feeling. Olivia loved to make pizza and usually jumped at any chance she could to come up with crazy combinations for toppings, but I let the subject drop.

Though my instincts telling me Olivia wasn't okay were lighting up like the power grid for New York City, I tried not to push the issue. One thing she needed more than anything was to feel 'normal', and my getting on her about being honest in how she was feeling was not going to make anything better. I would just have to watch her for the next couple of days and see how things went.

With Olivia, it was hard to tell the difference between being a bit overwhelmed and the slippery slope of being really sick with a lung infection. Her body just didn't fight off even the slightest of colds, and a simple sniffle on more than one occasion turned into a hospitalization.

Olivia nodded off to sleep on the way home. Though it concerned me, it also gave me an opportunity to inspect her a little more closely.

I didn't like what I saw.

The circles under her eyes were darker than usual, giving her pale complexion an almost bruised look, and her breathing was a bit shallower than what was typical for her. Add those things to the fact that her fatigue level seemed higher than usual when she came out of dance class, and I didn't like where all that was pointing.

Olivia was getting sick again.

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**Okay, my dear ones, Ch 5 is complete I will be posting it within a few days. I'm working hard to have this story finished before the end of the month. Thank you again for your love and support for this story which is extremely close to my heart. **

**xoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Same old disclaimer exists. SM owns Twilight, I do not. **

**Huge thank you to Jessica1971 for her superduper beta skills. Thank you my dear! **

**My dear friend Cullen312 started a thread over at Twilighted for Need You Now. So come on by, ask questions or make comments about the story. **http:/www(.)twilighted(.)net/forum/viewtopic(.)php?f=44&t=10135

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Chapter 5

Changes on the horizon

BPOV

"Hey, baby," I whispered, lightly running my hand over Olivia's cheek. "We're home, sweetie. Wake up."

"Huh," she grunted, her eyes blinked heavily.

"We're home," I said, smiling. "Why don't you go get your shower and then take a treatment? I'll start dinner, okay?"

She frowned at the suggestion of another Albuterol treatment. It wasn't that she disliked them so much as they just made her feel shaky and gave her heart palpitations. I was afraid from what I could see in her actions that we were headed for another hospital stay because the bacteria in her lungs were beginning to over grow again. Unfortunately, if I was right she needed the extra dose to open up her airways.

"I know," I said, looking her in the eye and trying to help her understand. "But I don't think you're feeling as well as you want me to believe, are you?"

Olivia dropped her eyes to her lap and pulled at the hem of her ballet skirt as she sat silently for a long moment before shaking her head.

"Sorry, baby, I know it stinks that you have to do it, but we need to keep you healthy. It probably would be a good idea to do a session with your vest as well."

Olivia hated using the airway clearance vest, but, like the Albuterol, it was a necessity for keeping her airways open and hopefully keeping her out of the hospital.

"I know," she said, sighing before she opened her door and made her way into the house.

I sat in the car for a few more moments before following Olivia inside.

Rosalie was standing in the kitchen when I entered from the garage. "Hey, what's up with the squirt? She came in and went straight to her room without saying a word."

She looked at me with a worried expression as she turned up the water bottle in her hand. Dressed in yoga pants and a sports bra, she had obviously just gotten back from the gym.

"I'm not sure, really," I said, dropping my bag and keys on the table before crossing to the fridge.

"She's just a lot more tired than usual and her coloring is sort of off, so…" I trailed off with a shrug. Rosalie nodded knowingly.

"I'm going to make some pizza for dinner. Are you eating here or going to Emmett's?" I asked, placing the pizza dough on the counter before grabbing the cheese, a green pepper, and the pepperoni from the fridge.

"I'm sticking around here. Em had an emergency surgery late this afternoon, so he won't be home 'til really late. Um…did you listen to your messages earlier?"

"No," I answered absently as I set the temperature on the oven. "I need to erase the message, I forgot about that. I got your text, though."

"Listen, Bella, you uh…you just….you need to listen to the message."

Quirking an eyebrow, I turned my head and met her eyes. She just nodded quickly and continued on with what she was saying.

"And while we're on the subject…about the whole lunch thing, I'm sorry about the way Em and I handled that, but….." she trailed off, leaning against the counter and taking a long drink from her bottle.

She took a deep breath, looked me in the eye, and said, "Edward's a good guy, Bella."

"Rose," I sighed and shook my head, bending to remove the pizza pan from the cabinet. "Look, I appreciate what you guys were trying to do, but….I just can't, okay?"

Taking another sip from her bottle, she crossed to grab the pizza sauce from the pantry and began pressing the dough out on the pan before spreading the sauce on top.

"You have to give somebody a chance eventually, Bella."

I shot her a warning look as I grated the cheese for our pizza a little more aggressively.

"Can I be perfectly honest with you?" she asked.

I looked at her for a long moment before nodding and turned to grab the package of pepperoni from the counter.

"Bella, I love you and I just want to see you happy. You deserve to be happy," she said, placing a hand on my arm to gain my attention.

I looked up into her blue eyes and could see they were shining with tears.

"You've got to stop pushing every guy that comes into your life away because…..Bella, you can't continue to use the fact _he_ couldn't handle Olivia's condition as an excuse to hide your heart, both of you deserve better than that," she whispered.

"Rose….." I felt the breath leave my lungs as if she had punched me in the stomach, because as much as I might have tried to tell myself differently….she was right. "I'm not using what happened with Josh as an excuse to hide from anything, Rosalie. The fact is my priority is Olivia. Making sure she's as healthy as she can be, that's the important thing, nothing else."

"Bella, I'm sorry….I really am, but just listen to me for a second," she said, her voice trembling with emotion. "I know how hard it's been for you. Since Mike died, you've had to be everything to that little girl and you've done a phenomenal job."

I closed my eyes and felt a tear slide down my cheek. Had I really done right by my little girl? Would Mike approve of how I was raising her? I hoped so; I wanted to think that I was doing the right things for Olivia.

Rosalie grasped my hand in hers and continued.

"I have tried to help you as much as I can, but you're her mother and there's only so much of the burden I can take from your shoulders. I know Mike's parents have been a help, too, when they could." She smiled sadly at me. "Mike loved you so much, Bella. God…he thought Olivia hung the moon…"

Rosalie wrapped her arms around me as a sob ripped through my chest. Mike loved his little girl so much, but he was robbed, we were all robbed, because he didn't have the chance to be her father long enough.

"No one will ever take Mike's place as Olivia's father, Bella, but he's gone and you can't live the rest of your life alone. Josh was an ass, I never liked him," Rosalie said, tightening her arms around me as I laughed on a sob. "My point is that you deserve to have some happiness, too. You've got to give someone a chance, and you know maybe Edward isn't the guy, but there _is_ someone out there, somewhere. You can't keep pushing them all away because you're afraid of putting your heart out there again."

"I know, Rosalie, but I just can't, not right now," I said, pulling out of her arms and wiping at my wet cheeks. "The only thing I can do is take care of my little girl and make sure that she's as healthy as she can be. That's all that matters, okay? I appreciate what you've done for us. We couldn't have made it without you." I said, smiling as I watched her wipe her own tears away.

"I'll even admit that to some degree you're right, but I can't change the reality and right now I just don't think trying to cultivate a relationship with Edward is the right place for me to be. So no more of the fix ups, okay?" I said.

Rosalie stared at me for a long moment with a sad look upon her face, but I could see that she realized I wasn't going to budge on this subject.

"Okay, Bella, no more fix ups," she nodded, patting my hand. "Just don't shut yourself off from the possibility of there being room for both of them in your heart," she said, looking into my eyes before turning to leave me alone with my thoughts.

I finished preparing dinner and once the pizza was in the oven, I went to check on Olivia.

"Olivia," I called. As I knocked, I could hear the hum of her nebulizer behind the door.

"Yeah," Olivia's muffled reply came through the door.

I stepped into her room to find her sitting in the middle of her day bed with her 'pipe', as we called it, firmly between her teeth and a magazine in her lap.

"How're you feeling?" I asked, sitting beside her on the bed.

She shrugged her shoulders and flipped the page of her magazine. Even after a hot shower, her color didn't look any better, and the circles under her eyes were just as dark as before.

"Your chest tight?"

She nodded, then pointed to the nebulizer and said, "A little, this isn't helping a whole lot."

I nodded as her answer confirmed what I had been afraid of when I first saw her after dance class.

"Did you do the vest as well?" I asked, reaching up to feel her forehead.

She nodded and continued to look through her magazine.

Thankfully, she didn't seem to have any fever, though that wasn't really indicative of any problems for her. Olivia had eleven different bouts of pneumonia over her short years and had never run a fever with any of them.

"Okay, well I'm going to go put a call into Dr. Mitchell," I said, leaning over to kiss her head.

Olivia nodded and looked at me with a small smile.

Dr. Mitchell had been Olivia's pulmonologist since just after Mike and I moved to this area. He was the doctor who made the diagnosis of Cystic Fibrosis, and being that he was the director of the CF clinic at the Children's Hospital, he continued to treat Olivia even when we made the transition from a regular pulmonary patient to a Cystic Fibrosis patient.

Though she wasn't seen in his office any longer and our visits were now handled through the clinic, it was nice not to have to change her main physician.

After hanging up with Dr. Mitchell - thankfully he had been the physician on call - we had an appointment to see him in the clinic the following morning. He made sure to advise me to come with our bags packed because we probably weren't going home, as he was pretty certain he would be admitting Olivia from the office.

I wish I could say I was surprised, but unfortunately I wasn't.

Olivia had been in the hospital only two months prior and just hadn't bounced back from that bout with the lung infection, so it wasn't an entirely surprising circumstance to be looking at the same situation once again.

Ordinarily, Dr. Mitchell would try a round of higher dose antibiotics and possibly an extra dose of oral steroids, but with the symptoms I described to him and the fact that Olivia had gotten sick so quickly before, he didn't want to take any chances. I just prayed Dr. Mitchell wouldn't want to do a bronchoscopy.

It had been some time since Olivia had one, and if he suspected that there was something more than the garden variety bacteria growing in her lungs this time around, I knew that he would be going in again.

The procedure was invasive and required Olivia to be put under general anesthesia. The simple idea that someone would be going into your child's lungs to poke around and see what nasty bugs they could locate wasn't exactly high on my list of enjoyable moments. If that wasn't enough, Olivia always felt horrible after having one of those procedures.

After dinner, which the three of us ate in Olivia's room snuggled up on her bed watching the latest episode of _i-Carly_, I made my way to my room to pack my bag and put a call in to my supervisor at the agency.

The patients on my schedule the following day would need to be triaged out to the other nurses in the field. Luckily it was a light day for me because I had already seen the majority of my patients for the week. It also happened to be the last day of the week that I had any visits scheduled so it wouldn't be a big inconvenience for the other nurses to take on an extra patient or two.

Once I had more information on Dr. Mitchell's plan for Olivia's treatment, I would be better equipped to make the decisions about work. I would decide what needed to be done for later on after Olivia's appointment.

One step at a time, I thought as I zipped up my bag and placed it by the bedroom door.

I made my way back down the hall to check on Olivia. When I entered her room, I smiled as I saw her curled up on her side, sleeping soundly. Thank goodness she was at least able to sleep for the moment; unfortunately I wasn't sure how long the slight reprieve would last.

She had used her percussion vest along with more Albuterol and the other nebulizer medications she takes regularly just before I left her earlier, but unfortunately her cough didn't produce anything. She didn't seem able to get a deep enough breath to produce a cough hard enough to move what was plain to the naked ear in her lungs. The wet sounding bark of a cough without being able to produce any mucous wasn't encouraging for what Dr. Mitchell would find when he finally examined her.

I bent to press a kiss to her soft curls before making my way to her closet and grabbing her overnight bag. I quickly packed a few articles of clothing, her i-Pod, coloring books, the _Harry Potter _book she was reading, and a few DVD's from her collection.

The Children's Hospital had a library that we were free to check out movies or books, but Olivia always liked to have her own as well, _'But what if someone has those movies checked out and I want to watch them?'_ she would say. The hospital also had a play area where the children could go to play board games and every Wii game known to man, as well as special activities that were planned throughout the day. When she was feeling up to it during her hospital stays, Olivia and I would make the trek down to the _Game Zone. _

I made my way out of Olivia's room and into the kitchen only to find that Rosalie had cleaned up after our dinner. I smiled as I thought about my sister. Rosalie had been such a godsend to Olivia and me; there was nothing that I wouldn't do for her.

I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and made my way back down the hallway. As I entered my bedroom, I heard the alert on my cell phone chime and remembered I had not erased Rosalie's voice mail from earlier in the day.

Crossing to the bathroom, I flipped on the shower before making my way back out to pick up my phone. While the water heated up, I dialed into my voice mail and waited for the message from Rosalie. I hated the feature of my voice mail that required you to listen to the entire message before you were allowed to erase.

My eyes widened as the voice that came over the line was not that of my sister.

"Bella…um, hi…It's Edward. Listen, I….uh, I talked Rosalie into letting me use her phone to call you. I know you were upset when you left today. I'm sorry about that. I…uh, honestly, when you stepped off the elevator I didn't think I would ever see you again. So….I wasn't upset at all with how that turned out….so, um, anyway, I would really like to get to know you better. If you'd like…um, I'll leave my cell number, 404-555-7743. You can call anytime, if you want. Um….Bye, Bella."

I listened to the message twice more, unable to believe that he had actually called me after the way I ran away from him. I really had to be honest with myself. When I walked away, it wasn't from Rose and Emmett; it was from what Edward made me feel. After the things that Rosalie said earlier, I was reevaluating the reasons behind my actions.

Did I want to talk to him again? Did I want to get to know him better?

The answers to those questions were obvious. I could still feel the tingles that rippled through my skin when Edward had taken my hand. The image of Edward's face when I walked away flashed through my mind, but had I not already made the decision regarding all of that?

The automated voice prompted me to save or erase the message. I hesitated.

He seemed so genuine. He didn't press for anything more than a phone call. I thought about the fact that he could have easily gotten my number from Rosalie or Emmett, but instead he called from Rosalie's phone. He didn't have my number, so the choice was left solely up to me whether to pursue anything further.

Maybe Rosalie had a point.

"_Just don't shut yourself off from the possibility of there being room for both of them in your heart."_

As her words rang through my mind, I closed my eyes, releasing a long slow breath and saved the message.

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**Thanks to all of you who have read, reviewed, alerted or favorited this story. I can't tell you how much the support you all have shown for this story means to me. I'll be posting chapter 6 on Wednesday.  
**

**Until next time...**

**xoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Standard Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, we all know it...I'm playing with the characters for my own purposes. **

**Thanks to my superbeta Jessica1971. This is a bit longer chapter than the last several have been, much to Master Yoda's surprise...lots of things happening here ^_~ **

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Chapter 6

A Spoonful of Sugar...

BPOV

I looked down at Olivia's sleeping form beside me in her bed. As I had expected, Olivia's little nap just after dinner the night before didn't last long and I had finally been able to doze off only a few hours before. As I looked over at the clock, I knew I needed to get up.

We would need to leave for Olivia's appointment in a couple of hours and I needed a shower badly.

I turned as the door opened and Rosalie poked her head in.

"How'd she do last night?" she whispered, crossing the room to press a kiss to Olivia's forehead.

"Eh…not so hot," I said, running my fingers through Olivia's hair.

"Call me after the appointment, 'k?" Rosalie said, smiling sadly over her shoulder as she made her way back to the door.

"Yeah, I'll let you know as soon as we're out…." I trailed off groaning quielty as I rolled out of Olivia's bed.

I pulled the blanket up around Olivia's shoulders before crossing to where Rosalie stood just inside the door.

"I'm pretty sure we're looking at an admission," I said as I followed Rosalie out into the hallway, pulling the door closed behind me.

Rosalie nodded as we entered the kitchen. She grabbed her bag and keys as I poured myself a cup of coffee.

To say that the night had been a rough one would be a gross understatement. Between taking the Albuterol treatments at the increased level since the prior afternoon and hours of coughing to the point of vomiting, Olivia couldn't find a comfortable position. She finally fell into a fitful sleep somewhere around two am.

I wish I could say I followed close behind her, but that would have been a blatant lie. Truth was, though my body was telling me to take advantage of the last moments of sleep it would get in a comfortable bed, my mind would not shut down.

I was never more thankful for the pot of coffee Rosalie made every morning.

Peeking in to check on Olivia quickly after Rosalie left for her shift at the hospital, I made my way back down the hall toward my room. I knew Rose was just as concerned as I was about what was going on with Olivia and probably would have a difficult time concentrating until she got my call after we were finished seeing Dr. Mitchell.

I flipped the water of the shower on as I took a long sip from my coffee cup. Closing my eyes, I thought about what I felt in my bones was going on with Olivia along with all the things that had transpired the previous night.

The speed at which Olivia had become sick, not only this time but with the episode a few months prior, was a concern in and of itself. Until recently, it had taken a week or more for Olivia to reach this point, but just as she did a couple of months ago, she was really ill within a few hours of beginning to exhibit symptoms.

The vomiting of mucous that began the night before was just one symptom in the laundry list of those that convinced me we would find ourselves with an extended stay at the hospital once we made it to the clinic.

Dr. Mitchell was concerned when I spoke with him the previous evening, and after the night Olivia had, I knew he would be less than pleased when he received the full disclosure.

I tried to think back over the last few days, feeling that maybe I had missed something in her downward spiral.

Stepping into the shower, I couldn't really put my finger on any one thing that was out of the norm over the last few days. Olivia seemed to be feeling pretty well until I noticed how off her coloring was the day before.

The moment I picked her up from dance class my heart sank, knowing what path we were heading down but hoping against hope that something would change for the better. That wasn't going to be the case, obviously.

I closed my eyes, stepping under the warm water and allowing it to relax my tired muscles. I picked up the loofah and body wash, hoping the combination of lavender and vanilla with the warm water would be enough to relax my mind as well as my body.

In that moment I felt unbearably alone. The overwhelming sensation of the unknown, of having no idea what the day would bring and knowing I had no control over the situation was a crushing weight on my chest.

"God, Mike...please watch over our little girl," I whispered as I dropped my head against the cool tile of the shower wall.

The tears burned behind my lids as my hair clung to the side of my face, weighed down by the heaviness of the water.

I didn't even try to stop the tears in the solitude of that moment. It was easy to let them mix with the warm water as it ran over my face. I gave them permission to fall and slip away, to slide from behind my closed lids and down the drain where no one would be any wiser to my moment of weakness.

The water beginning to cool was the only indication of how long I had let myself become lost to the soothing sensations of the water.

Rushing to shampoo my hair before turning off the water, I stepped out and toweled off quickly. I brushed my teeth and put on some light make up before pulling my hair into a ponytail and twisting it into a loose bun at the nape of my neck.

Pulling on my favorite pair of worn jeans and throwing on a T-shirt, I slipped on a pair of flip-flops and made my way back to the kitchen for another cup of coffee before going to wake Olivia.

"Olivia, baby," I whispered as I sat down on the bed and gently brushed the hair away from her face. "Wake up, sweetie. You've got to get dressed. We have to be at the clinic at ten."

She rolled to her side, facing me and blinking slowly.

"I don't wanna," she groaned, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"I know you don't want to, sweetie, but we have to get ready to go," I whispered, kissing her forehead before standing to cross to her closet and pulling out a pair of track pants along with a t-shirt.

"Here ya go," I said, laying the clothes on her bed as she threw her duvet away from her legs.

"Ok," she mumbled and rolled out of bed, crossing to her bathroom to brush her teeth.

I shut my eyes and released a shuddering breath as I heard her coughing through the closed door.

Coughing for a CF patient wasn't normally a big deal, but for Olivia it was another symptom of her having an infection.

On a typical day, Olivia didn't really have much of a cough. She would occasionally have some production during her airway clearance, but those times were few and far between except when she was sick. Dr. Mitchell explained that her form of CF was _dry, _so she didn't always have a lot of mucous like others with the disease.

The thing is, on one hand this might be seen as a good thing because she didn't produce the output of mucous typically seen with CF, but it didn't mean that it wasn't there. In Olivia's case, bacteria typically seen in CF patients, such as MRSA-staph, which she might otherwise be able to cough out, just sits in her lungs and grows - quickly.

Since the level of salt water in the body is greatly diminished in someone like Olivia, there's no way to thin the mucous, so mucous which is normally produced by organs such as the lungs and digestive tract is incredibly thick and sticky.

Even with the airway clearance, percussion vest, and the addition of a synthetic inhaled saline compound to help Olivia's body thin the mucous, she was still unable to produce a sufficient amount of sputum.

Historically, when Olivia would begin to cough and have episodes like what we experienced throughout the previous night, it usually meant that she either had pneumonia or another bout with the MRSA-staph we dealt with a few months ago.

God forbid it's an infection that is more serious than either of those. I said a silent prayer for mercy as that thought ran through my mind. There was a gamut of other bacteria specific to Cystic Fibrosis patients that we were lucky Olivia had not contracted so far. But the fact was, sooner or later, she would test positive for one of them. That fear always loomed in the background.

I smiled as Olivia stepped out of her bathroom and walked to her bed, slipping out of her nightgown and into the clothes I laid out for her.

"How're you feeling?" I asked, picking a pair of socks from her drawer and grabbing her favorite sneakers from her closet.

"Eh, I'm okay," she shrugged while taking a shallow breath and smiling up at me.

I felt my heart break a little more as I returned her smile.

"Alright, sweet girl, let's get you some breakfast and then we'll head out, okay?"

"Good morning," Lauren, the receptionist, smiled as she looked over the lens of her black half-frame glasses.

I smiled, returning her greeting as I plucked the surgical mask from the box beside the sign in sheet and handed it to Olivia.

Olivia rolled her eyes and looked at me expectantly.

"Sorry, sweets, the other ones are all gone," I said as she took the Mickey Mouse covered mask from my hand grudgingly.

Olivia was required to wear a mask at all times while in the clinic and not in an exam room or having a test performed. It was done to prevent her from possibly contracting a virus or airborne bacteria anytime she was outside an examination room.

The staff was diligent about keeping the patients separated while in the clinic, but it was for her protection as well as any other CF patients that came and went throughout the day, even though we never came in actual physical contact, the risk was high that they could transmit the infections.

Dr. Mitchell explained that because patients like Olivia have specific bacteria which are highly contagious only to other CF patients but not to people who have healthy immune systems, they had to ensure that no cross contamination occurred.

She hated having to wear the mask in the first place, but totally abhorred putting on the ones she deemed "babyish".

I handed over my insurance card and driver's license to the receptionist as Olivia took a seat in the closest chair.

"You can head on back to room number four," Lauren said, handing my identification back to me.

I thanked her before Olivia and I made our way through the heavy wooden door and down the hall to the designated room.

We no more than closed the door before one of the nurse's assistants was poking her head inside to take Olivia back down the hall to get her vitals, height, and weight.

As soon as we were settled back in her exam room, there was another knock at the door and the x-ray technician was smiling from the doorway.

"Hi, guys," Paul smiled. "Ready for a little x-ray action, girl?"

Olivia smiled and nodded her head, "I guess."

"Whew, not feeling so hot today, huh?" Paul asked, looking up to meet my gaze.

I slowly shook my head. "Not so much, no. How are you, Paul? You're little girl's getting big I bet, huh?"

"Oh lord, yes," Paul laughed, holding the door open for us to enter the x-ray room. "That child will be the death of me. She's two, ya know, and into everything. Rebecca says she has me wrapped around her little finger."

"I'm sure she's completely off base with that, too," I said, smiling at the sheepish grin he shot me over his shoulder as he set up the machinery.

"Totally off base," he scoffed. "Alright, girly girl, you know the drill. Mom's going to help you slip off your top, slide this ugly gown on and then knock on that door over there when you're ready, 'k?"

Paul smiled a brilliant smile at Olivia and handed me the light green johnny before turning and entering the darkroom to give us a little privacy.

Ten minutes later, Olivia and I were back inside her exam room.

A quick knock and the door opened to reveal Angela, the respiratory therapist.

"Hi guys," she said, smiling at Olivia. "So I hear you're not feeling so well, huh?"

Olivia shook her head and shrugged. "Not really."

Angela had been Olivia's respiratory therapist since we first began seeing Dr. Mitchell. That was another thing that didn't change when we made the transition from his office to the CF clinic; Angela worked in both, as well as the hospital. It was a comfort to have some consistency when things felt so out of control much of the time.

"Aw...I'm sorry, hon," Angela cooed, patting Olivia on the back. "Let's go get your test done and we'll see what we're looking at, okay?"

Olivia nodded and hopped down off the exam table, slipping her mask back on as she followed Angela down the hall back the way we came.

I trailed along behind as we made our way to the tiny room where Olivia's pulmonary function would be tested.

One of the things that had stumped Dr. Mitchell from day one was the fact that Olivia's lung functions were lower than what was expected. Typically, CF patients had relatively normal PFT's or pulmonary output, but Olivia's had always registered around the seventy percent mark. Not so great when a 'normal' nine year old should have one hundred percent lung function.

The scary thing was that her functions had dipped into the forties when she got sick a few months ago, and I would be lying if I didn't admit to being scared to death they would be worse at this visit.

"Alright, sweetie," Angela said as she handed Olivia the mouthpiece of the machine. "Deep breaths."

Olivia clamped her lips around the mouthpiece and placed the soft clamp on her nose.

I could feel myself sucking in a breath, trying to breathe for my daughter as I watched her struggle to take a deep breath with very little success.

Angela counted out, instructing Olivia to take two big deep breaths and then to blow as hard as she possibly could into the mouthpiece.

Honestly, she had done this test so many times over the years that she could probably recite the instructions from rote memory, but she did as she was told and tried to take air deep into her lungs. It was obvious that she wasn't succeeding before I looked at Angela's profile.

She was looking at the screen, watching the monitor with a frown. A frown at this point in the game was not a good sign. Honestly, when they're dealing with my kid's health, a frown in regard to a test result could _never_ be a good thing.

"Okay, honey, lets try one more time," Angela said, turning a bright smile to Olivia, but I could see the tightness around her eyes.

She was concerned.

Olivia tried again with no real change in her output, and at this point she was becoming fatigued from the strain.

"That's good, sweetie," she said, removing the clip from Olivia's nose and taking the mouthpiece. "Alright, come on, I'll take you guys back and get this to Dr. Mitchell."

"Where are we?" I whispered as we followed Angela back to our exam room.

"She's at fifty two right now," Angela said, looking over her shoulder at me as she pushed open the door to the exam room we left a short time ago.

"Hmm," I hummed, shaking my head.

"That's not so great, huh, mom?" Olivia asked as we stepped inside her exam room.

"Well, you've had better," I smiled, pressing a kiss to her forehead as she crawled up on the exam table and laid down.

"He'll be in to see you guys in just a little bit," Angela said as she closed the door behind her.

I settled down into one of the curved plastic chairs at the head of the exam table and ran my fingers through Olivia's hair. I knew that the PFT results weren't good and that it pretty much sealed the deal on Olivia heading to the hospital, but I was hopeful that the chest x-ray would shed a more positive light on what was going on.

After what felt like an eternity, but was in actuality probably about twenty minutes, a soft knock sounded just as Dr. Mitchell's tall frame entered the room.

Dr. Kevin Mitchell was possibly one of the kindest men I had ever encountered. I remembered the day he delivered the news of Olivia's diagnosis. As the words left his mouth, there had been tears shining in his eyes. It had nearly devastated him as much as it had me and Mike.

"Hi, Olivia," he said, a huge smile on his face. He nodded a greeting to me as he crossed to the counter with Olivia's chart firmly in hand.

"Hi," Olivia whispered.

It always brought a smile to my face at the way the entire staff, including the doctors, made the child the center of attention. Although they were accommodating and overly helpful to parents, their sole focus was making the child comfortable by addressing them personally, as well as including them in the treatment plan.

Dr. Mitchell made a special point to explain what he was going to do in ways that Olivia could understand. He would even ask her opinion many times about whether she thought a certain idea would work or not, regardless of the fact that Olivia really didn't have a whole lot of choice. If it was something she needed, it made her feel like she was a part of the process and had a bit of control in the situation.

"So, tell me what's been going on," Dr. Mitchell smiled at Olivia as he crossed to the exam table, placing his stethoscope in his ears and beginning his exam.

"I don't know..." Olivia trailed off, looking to me with huge brown eyes.

"Well, I talked with your mom yesterday and she said you weren't feeling so good and you were doing some extra Albuterol treatments. How'd that make you feel? Any better at all?"

Olivia nodded, "Yeah, I didn't feel good at school but...then um, at dance class I got kind of dizzy and just sat down."

My eyes widened at that little revelation. Olivia hadn't said anything to me about being dizzy during her ballet class the previous day.

Dr. Mitchell continued asking quiet questions as he went through the rest of his exam. Unlike Angela, Dr. Mitchell's face was always the same kind expression and it was impossible to read at times like this, which drove me absolutely up the wall. I needed to know what he was thinking and I needed to know at that very moment before I lost my mind.

Dr. Mitchell crossed back to the counter and looked through Olivia's chart.

"Okay..." he sighed. "Come on, mom, I want to show you the x-ray we just took."

I felt my heart slam against my chest as I stood, handing Olivia her mask so we could follow Dr. Mitchell to the little viewing room we had been in several times before. The tiny room just across the hall from Olivia's exam room contained the computer system which held the digital image of Olivia's chest.

"I wanted to show you what we're looking at here," Dr. Mitchell said, pointing to two areas in the lower sections of both of Olivia's lungs.

I sucked a breath through clenched teeth as the white anomalies glared at me from the screen.

"Looks like we've got some infection growing in there. It's not too bad, but definitely more than what we were seeing when she came out of the hospital a few months ago."

"So..." I trailed off in question, looking up to meet his hazel eyes. I knew the answer before he opened his mouth, but I needed to hear the words.

"I think we need to go back in for some IV antibiotics and," he paused, placing a comforting hand on the upper part of my arm, "I really think we need to go in and get a good look at what this bacteria is. We didn't get a good culture last time. I had hoped that the IV therapy last time would be broad spectrum enough, but we need to ensure we're not looking at B. Cepacia or psuedomonas."

I felt my eyes widen again at the mention of the two infections I worried the most about Olivia contracting. We had been extremely lucky over the years, even prior to her diagnosis, that she had not contracted either of the deadly infections, but I knew the likelihood was high that our luck in that respect was running out.

I nodded and looked at Olivia, who sat in the swivel chair staring up over the surgical mask at the doctor and me with wide eyes.

"Okay." Dr. Mitchell turned his gaze to Olivia and smiled.

"Let's go back across the hall so we can talk, shall we?" Dr. Mitchell gestured for us to lead the way.

Once we were settled back inside the exam room, Dr. Mitchell smiled at me before turning to look Olivia in the eye as he began to gently explain what he planned.

"Olivia, I think we need to have you go back into the hospital, okay? Just like last time, you'll get that line in your arm so we can give you some medication to help you feel better. Tomorrow we'll take a little look inside your lungs so we can make sure we're giving you the right medication."

Olivia's eyes widened at the mention of looking inside her lungs and Dr. Mitchell saw it as soon as I did.

"Don't worry, you'll be asleep the whole time. You remember the happy juice they give you when you get the line in your arm?"

Olivia nodded slowly.

"We'll give you some of that and then some stuff that smells really gross that makes you really sleepy. You'll be asleep the whole time, then when you wake up, your mom will be there and it will be all over, okay?"

Olivia looked to me and I nodded, trying desperately to hold the reassuring smile on my face.

Two hours later, Olivia was settled into her hospital bed and I was just putting away our bags. I had called Rosalie to give her the update as we walked over from the clinic. She would be coming by as soon as her shift ended.

The Children's Hospital had a designated floor for respiratory issues, including CF as well as asthma patients. The nurses on the floor are trained to deal with the special needs of the children in their charge.

The IV team leader had been in shortly after we arrived to map out the area where Olivia's PICC line would be placed. An ultrasound was done and she used a surgical marker to place tiny x's over the best areas so they would know where to insert the line.

Unlike a port, which many of my own patients had, the PICC line is used for a shorter duration. Since the usual course of IV antibiotics Olivia takes was only two weeks, they used this method for the infusions. Though both are surgical procedures and the line would travel from mid-upper arm through Olivia's artery into an upper chamber of her heart, it could be removed without a second surgery.

As I picked up my phone to call Mike's parents, a knock at the door stopped me. Melanie, Olivia's nurse, entered the room with a large smile on her pretty face. I noticed the brown dosing syringe was in her hand, which I knew held Olivia's dose of Versed.

She was covered in the requisite yellow gown with gloves and mask. Because of Olivia's history with MRSA-staph and the fact that she's a Cystic Fibrosis patient, there was a standing order for "touch precaution". Basically it means that anytime any of the medical staff enter the room, they must be completely gloved, masked, and gowned. It's for Olivia's protection as well as the other patients on the floor.

"Alright, ladies, looks like the team is ready for you," she smiled as she crossed to Olivia's bed.

Olivia grimaced as she took the syringe from Melanie's outstretched hand.

"Bleck," Olivia said, as she handed the syringe back to Melanie. "That's gross."

"Yeah, I know," Melanie said. "That stuff tastes awful. I wish we could flavor it with something. Unfortunately, we can't. That should start taking affect in about ten minutes so don't get out of the bed, okay? Don't want you falling and getting hurt."

Melanie smiled and patted Olivia on the foot as she made her way back to the door.

"The team will be in to get you in a little bit," she turned to look at me. "I know you're aware, but once they take her she'll be gone for about half an hour, then they'll bring her back here. Then we have to go downstairs for the x-ray after that. Piece of cake, right?"

Melanie smiled at Olivia and I nodded, thanking her as she removed her protective wear, throwing it in the large waste container near the door before she stepped out of the room.

I was well aware of what the next hour or so would entail, for both Olivia and I.

Once the team took Olivia, I would have to wait in the room for them to bring her back to me and then she would need to have an x-ray to ensure the placement of the PICC was correct and that there were no problems with the line after she was moved from the surgical area to her room. There was an unlikely possibility that even though while initially the line was in the correct placed area it could move and the team would have to redo the procedure. So after the PICC is placed and the initial chest x-ray confirmed the placement was good Olivia would be taken down to radiology for a second x-ray confirmation.

If everything looked okay at that point, the antibiotics would be started and the wait and see game would begin. Not a fun prospect for any of us when we were talking about whether the infection would respond to the medications or not.

The idea that Olivia would most definitely be having a bronchoscopy the following day was weighing heavily on my mind. Just the thought of what Dr. Mitchell could find made my heart flip in my chest with anxiety and fear.

"How're you feeling, sweet girl?" I asked, knowing the answer without her uttering a word.

It was obvious from the heaviness of her lids that the Versed was taking affect.  
She shrugged her shoulders and lolled her head sleepily in my direction.

I was very much aware that because she was mine I thought she was the most beautiful child on Earth. The thing was, it was the truth. Her long lashes were every woman's dream and those huge almond shaped brown eyes held a knowledge of life well beyond her years.

The long tresses of her blond curls were the stuff many women paid big bucks for and still fell short of what my child had naturally.

"I think you're getting pretty sleepy," I laughed as I brushed a stray hair away from her face.

Olivia nodded with what could only be described as a drunk smile. The medication really did give you the sensation of being on a two day bender. Luckily, she wouldn't suffer the hang over part and would probably sleep the afternoon away as was normal for her to do after having this procedure done.

I heard the knock at the door just before two of the IV team members entered the room with a wheelchair and big smiles on their faces.

"How we doin' in here?" the man pushing the wheelchair boomed. "Looks like somebody's really sleepy."

"Yes, sir, I think she's pretty out of it," I laughed. "Love you," I whispered as I bent to kiss Olivia's forehead before stepping out of the way.

I watched as he assisted Olivia in sitting up before lifting her from the bed to place her in the chair.

"Alright, mom," the woman, who I knew was the team leader, said. "We'll take good care of her and have her back in no time."

She tucked a blanket around Olivia's legs and opened the door for the man to back the chair out into the hallway.

I felt the breath catch in my chest as I watched them leave with my child. I knew they would care for her and it wasn't the first time I had to watch someone leave with her for a procedure; that didn't change the fact that it never got any easier to watch her being taken away. Knowing I couldn't be in the room with her when this was done made it so much more difficult to watch her leave.

The door closed softly behind them and I sank onto the sofa against the wall, trying to take a deep breath to calm my frayed nerves.

I had placed a call to my mom, letting her know what was going on at the moment and assuring her I would call again as soon as we knew more, and there was no reason for her to jump on a plane and make the trip out. I reminded her that Rosalie was with us and that this was a regular thing we dealt with; she couldn't be flying out at the drop of a hat every time Olivia had an exacerbation.

The next call I needed to make was much more difficult. Not because I didn't love Mike's parents, because I did immensely, but it always brought on emotions that were so close to the surface still after all this time. Mike's mother, Carole, was a wonderful woman, and in all the years Mike and I were married we always had a great relationship. When Olivia was born that relationship only became better.

They had been a great source of support and the major reason I didn't pack up and move back to Arizona after Mike passed. I couldn't take their only granddaughter away from them, especially so soon after they lost their only son.

Carole and Mike, Sr. had left to visit their daughter in Charleston only a few days prior and I knew she would be terribly upset they were out of town when Olivia got sick. Like my mother, I knew Carole would be out of her mind and want to come home immediately.

I picked up my blackberry and scrolled through my contacts until I found the correct number.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to steel my nerves for the conversation ahead. Running a hand through my hair, I rested my elbow on my knee and gripped the hair at my forehead in my hand.

My breath hitched as I heard Carole's voice come over the line.

"Carole, hi….it's Bella," I said, feeling my chest constrict.

"Oh, Bella," she said, I could hear the smile in her voice. "Hi, sugar, how are you and that darlin' grandbaby of mine?"

Carole's old south accent brought a smile to my face. Being a born and raised Charleston Blue Blood, she was a southern belle through and through. Always warm and loving with her family, she was mamma bear fierce in protecting her family if the situation ever arose.

I had developed a healthy respect for her over the years and loved her dearly.

I hesitated in answering her question about how Olivia and I were doing only a split second to take a deep breath, but it was enough for Carole's intuition to kick in and she knew immediately the nature of my call.

"When did she go in, hon?" she asked quietly.

I cleared my throat, trying to dislodge the lump choking me so I could speak.

"Just this morning," I murmured.

I went on to fill her in on the entire situation and how quickly things had gone downhill this time, explaining Dr. Mitchell's plan of treatment up to that point.

"Oh, Bella," she sighed when I had finished. "Don't you worry one bit, sugar. Michael and I will just hop in the car and be there by tomorrow morning."

"No, no, Carole," I stopped her as she began to call for Mike, Sr. to get the car ready. "Really, there is no need for you to do that right now. Honestly. Please, you and Mike, Sr. need to spend time with Sheila and the boys."

This was exactly the reaction I had expected and the simple fact that I knew they would be on the road with nothing more than a request from me made my heart swell with tenderness and gratitude for them both.

Though I knew Sheila would understand, it wouldn't be right for me to call her parents home to help me, especially when they had only just arrived. Shawn and Nathan needed to spend time with their grandparents, as well as Sheila with her mom and dad.

"Bella," Carole sighed. "Hon, you know that Michael and I want to be there in whatever way we can for you and Olivia."

"I do know that, Carole," I said, wiping a stray tear from the corner of my eye. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate all that both of you have done for us over the years. But you know how this process goes. We're here for a while, so there's really no reason for you guys to cut your trip short. Shawn and Nathan need to spend some time with their grandparent's, too, and I know you guys have missed them."

Carole laughed at the mention of her grandsons. At five and almost four they were adorably precocious and constantly into everything under the sun.

Sheila joked many times that they had two gears - 'wide open' and 'passed out'.

Carole and I talked a bit longer as she filled me in on the boys' latest antics. Shawn would be starting Kindergarten in the fall, while Nathan would be in pre-school. They were both looking forward to the adventure.

I laughed as Carole said Sheila was not so optimistic about how the boys would react to the whole structured environment of a classroom.

"You tell that granddaughter of mine that her grandma and grandpa love her bunches and that we'll see her as soon as we're back in town," Carole said.

"I will, Carole. You have a safe trip home and I'll have Olivia call you when she can," I assured as we said our goodbyes.

I released a heavy sigh as I melted into the faux leather of the sofa, which would be my bed for the next two weeks. Thankfully since the first few times we had long term hospital stays, the administration had put the fold down futon style sofas in the patient rooms for parents.

It wasn't a foreign concept for me to sleep in the stainless steel crib when Olivia was an infant and had been admitted.

A soft knock brought me to full attention and I stood as the door opened to reveal a very groggy Olivia being pushed in on a gurney by the same two team members who took her away a short time before. They were followed close behind by Olivia's nurse, Melanie.

"Alright, mom," the man said, smiling as they transferred Olivia from the gurney to her bed. "She's a pretty sleepy girl. Everything went fine and the placement was good."

I stepped forward to Olivia's bed to tuck the blanket around her as she smiled sleepily at me.

"Hey, baby," I whispered, brushing a hand over her hair and cupping her cheek in my palm.

I thanked both the team members as they left the room. Melanie stepped to the opposite side of Olivia's bed and explained once again that as soon as radiology was ready we would go down for a chest x-ray to check that the PICC line was still in the correct placement.

"Then once I get the okay from the x-ray, I'll hang the first dose of Gentamicin. Thirty minutes after it finishes, I'll hang the Timenton. Dr. Mitchell has the bronch scheduled for nine o'clock tomorrow morning, but I'll double check on that and let you know. Is there anything you need right now?" she asked.

The Gentamicin and Timinton were both broad-spectrum antibiotics and were Olivia's usual course of therapy when admitted to the hospital. They were administered in tandem in hopes that together they could knock back the infection making her sick.

We wouldn't know for sure whether she would need an additional stronger medication until after the bronchoscopy, or if those two would do the trick.

"No, I'm fine, thank you," I said, quietly.

"Alright, well I'll be back in a little bit and we'll head downstairs. Respiratory should be in shortly after we get back from radiology," she said, pulling out a folded piece of paper from her pocket and scanning it quickly. "Yeah, she's scheduled for therapy at four so that should be just about perfect know where the parent room is, right? There's coffee and juice, just help yourself," she smiled as she retreated out of the room after informing me again she would check on the timing for the procedure.

Several hours later, we were back in Olivia's room with the first of many doses of antibiotics being administered through the newly placed PICC line.

Having completed her respiratory therapy for the afternoon Olivia was sleeping soundly in her bed.

I settled into the sofa, trying desperately to quell the nervous turn in my stomach about what the following day would entail.

My daughter's future was riding on the results of what Dr. Mitchell found during the bronchoscopy. The feeling of uncertainty made me nauseous at the implications of what those results would bring to light and where we went from that point forward.

* * *

**Thanks again to all of you who have shown so much support and love for this story, me and my family. Thank you all so much! I've not been able to reply to the reviews from the last chapter as of yet. Putting out chapters as quickly as I'm trying to with this story gives me less time to reply...I'll do my best to reply as I can but know that I greatly appreciate each and every one. **

**I'll be posting chapter 7 on Friday. Until then...  
**

**xoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1**

**www(.)cff(.)org please visit the Cystic Fibrosis website for information on the disease and donating to help find a cure. Thank you. **

**Come by the thread over at Twilighted for discussions and comments. **http:/www(.)twilighted(.)net/forum/viewtopic(.)php?f=44&t=10135


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, =( I do not, I'm just playing with her characters and I thank her for that opportunity. **

**Thank you as I couldn't do this without her to my Master Yoda= Jessica1971. **

**As I say each time but could not say enough, thank you so very much to everyone who is reading, reviewing, alerting or adding NYN to your favorites. From the bottom of my heart I thank you...**

**So this chapter brings another EPOV... Just so there's no confusion this EPOV will cover what's been going on with Edward since losing Bella to the elevator after her hasty exit from their lunch with Emmett and Rosalie. ****I hope you enjoy.**

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Need You Now

Chapter 7

EPOV

Watching the elevator doors close between Bella and I was quite possibly one of the hardest things I'd ever done.

She was gone….again.

I closed my eyes and dropped my chin to my chest, running a hand through my hair in frustration.

_Damn it. _

It was obvious throughout lunch she was upset, but I had hoped to make her understand it wasn't a big deal.

Rosalie and Emmett had watched Bella's rant with wide eyes, not speaking a word once it was apparent how upset she truly was with the both of them.

I turned and made my way back to where they both sat leaning close to one another and whispering.

Rosalie caught sight of me and sat back, smiling tentatively.

"Did you catch her?" she asked, her voice thick with emotion.

I shook my head and slipped into my chair. Resting my elbows on the table, I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands.

The level of emotions I was feeling at that moment was not normal. I had never felt so drawn to a person in my life and I was falling short to find an explanation.

"Edward, man, I'm really sorry," Emmett said, clamping a huge hand on my shoulder

I dropped my hands and looked him in the eye with an incredulous look.

"I'm so sorry, Edward, we never meant to upset either of you. Bella's not…" Rosalie trailed off, a sad look passing over her features. "She's….life's kind of knocked her on her ass, and well we were just hoping…" she waved a hand dismissively, looking up at Emmett, a look passed between them I didn't quite understand. "Never mind, just know that I'm sorry."

I looked between Rosalie and Emmett for a few moments, wondering what had happened to Bella that caused them to look at one another in such a way. It was obvious there was much more to this story and I found that I truly needed to know what it was.

"No, don't apologize, either of you. Honestly, I didn't think I would ever see her again when she darted off the elevator earlier, and all I knew was her first name and that she's a hospice nurse," I said, scrubbing my hands over my face and sitting back in my chair dejectedly.

"Yeah, well, still it wasn't our intention to upset either of you, so…" Emmett trailed off and looked at me sympathetically.

"It's alright, Em," I said, nodding. "I mean it, really, don't worry about it. I just wish things had turned out differently."

"Maybe you could call her….I'll give you her nu-" Rosalie began but I cut her off mid-sentence.

"Oh no, Rosalie, I don't think that would be a good idea at all," I said, shaking my head furiously. "You saw how she reacted with you guys doing this behind her back, what do you think she's going to do if you give me her number? She's going to know where I got it, don't you think?"

Rosalie's eyes widened and her mouth popped open in understanding.

"Exactly," I said, running a hand through my hair once again. "She probably wouldn't speak to you for weeks."

They both nodded in agreement and we sat a few moments in contemplative silence. There was something between Bella and I, some connection I had never experienced before, and I couldn't just let her walk out of my life again.

I needed to see her again, to hear her sweet giggle and intoxicating voice. Every fiber in my being screamed for me to find her. I felt like a moth to the flame; there simply was no resisting the hold she had on me.

I knew that whatever step was taken would need to make her feel as though it was on her terms, but how to make that happen….

My head snapped up to look at Rosalie. "Rose, may I borrow your phone?"

"Um…yeah, I guess," she said, raising a brow questioningly. "Why?"

"I think I might have an idea," I said, smiling as the idea solidified and I felt increasingly more confident it would work.

"Think about it, you're her sister so you would know. Part of what Bella's problem with this little operation you two tried to pull off was that she had no control in the situation at all, am I right? She felt tricked and thrown into something that she didn't orchestrate herself, correct? Bella can't stand to feel out of control, can she? So this situation made her completely insane."

"Damn," Emmett laughed, shaking his head as he turned to look at Rosalie. "Rosie, hand the man your phone. He's got your little sister pegged."

Rosalie dug her phone from her pocket and scrolled through her numbers to find Bella's before handing it over with a smile.

I took the phone and stepped away from the table so that I could speak without their prying ears, though I knew they would be straining to hear every word.

This had to work.

I felt my heart slam against my ribs as I waited. Judging by how pissed she was when she left the table, I was pretty certain she wouldn't actually answer the. I had the thought that it might be better if she didn't and I could just leave a message. By doing so, it would firmly put the ball in her court and she could make the decision whether she wanted to speak to me again.

As I realized that she could very well decide _not_ to return my call, a shot of fear ran down my spine and I said a silent prayer that she felt the same draw toward me and would be curious about where it would lead.

Even with the level on anxiety coursing through my system, I couldn't fight the smile that spread over my face as Bella's soothing voice came over the line with her recorded message.

"_Hi, you've reached Bella Newton, hospice nurse for Allied Health Care. Please leave a name and number where you may be reached along with a brief message about the nature of your call. Please include the patients name and date of birth and I will return your call as soon as possible. If this can not wait, please call the office at 404 555 4039. Thank you and have a good day." _

I cleared my throat and took a deep breath, praying that this would work as the voice mail beeped in my ear.

"Bella…um, hi…It's Edward. Listen, I….uh, I talked Rosalie into letting me use her phone to call you. I know you were upset when you left today. I'm sorry about that, I…uh, honestly, when you stepped off the elevator I didn't think I would ever see you again. So….I wasn't upset at all with how that turned out….so, um, anyway, I would really like to get to know you better, if you'd like…um, I'll leave my cell number, 404-555-7743. You can call anytime, if you want. Um….Bye, Bella."

I hit the end button and sighed, there was nothing more I could do. The ball was in her court now and whatever happened was in Bella's control. I hoped I was right and that by giving that choice over to her, she would make the decision to call me back.

Hopefully she would understand why I called from Rosalie's phone and that I had in fact not used my own phone so I would not have her number.

Any contact we had from this point forward would be Bella's choice; it had to be her choice. I wouldn't force anything with her that she wasn't fully vested in wanting.

Having my mother come into town had been a wonderful distraction from constantly checking my phone, afraid I would miss Bella's call.

Even with my mother's company, I found I couldn't seem to keep myself from thinking about the fact Bella had not called. When I left the voice message the day before, I knew I had left the decision of whether we met again up to her, but I honestly thought once she calmed down she would see that the whole thing had not been that big a deal.

I didn't want to admit to myself or anyone else how much it hurt that I had been completely off the mark on that point.

The fact that the connection I felt between Bella and I, the one I thought flowed in both directions, obviously was in fact one sided. That thought more than any other was horribly disappointing.

I had scheduled time off to spend with my mother. Though I wasn't able to pick her up at the airport, we made plans for dinner and a trip to The High Museum the night after she came in town, knowing she would be jet lagged from a trans-continental flight.

Just as I was leaving the hospital to meet my mother at my apartment, I was called in to consult on a special case.

A young boy who had broken his leg playing baseball needed an orthopedic consult. At first it irritated me to no end, being on my way out the door only to get called back for a simple fractured femur.

Of course that was until I realized it was anything but simple.

The boy suffered with hemophilia and had a nasty fracture. Though I had set the break temporarily to help with his comfort level, it would actually require surgery to affix outside stabilization to ensure the bone knit back properly.

Due to the hemophilia, he would need a series of factor-9 infusions to ensure proper clotting time during and after surgery over the following twenty-four hours. In addition, he required a type and cross match of his blood for the transfusions he would likely need.

Because of the urgency and complexity of the case, I would be in surgery for the majority of the day to repair his leg. This situation presented one of the things I disliked about my career. Though I loved almost everything that went along with being a doctor, the time it took from my personal life was not always a welcome factor.

I felt terrible for being unable to spend as much time with my mother as I planned, but hoped our reservations for an early dinner at The Geisha House would somewhat make amends. She loved the whole futuristic Asian décor, which appealed to her more artistic side. Though my mother was once an oncology nurse prior to meeting my father and deciding to be a stay at home mom, she dabbled in interior design over the years.

My mother immediately picked up on my mood as soon as I arrived at my apartment later than intended her first night in town. That disposition had only gotten worse as time dragged on since the ill fated lunch and subsequent phone call to Bella. Now it was her second night in town and my mood had only gotten worse.

"Edward, dear," my mother said, placing a hand on my arm. "You've seemed terribly upset since you came home yesterday, are you okay?"

I raised my eyes to look into hers and blew out a heavy breath through my nose.

"I'm sorry, Mom," I said, taking her hand in mine. "I've been a horrible host and you aren't going to be in town long. I really am sorry."

"Oh, sweetie, you have been anything but," she said sweetly, smiling at me as she cupped my cheek with her free hand. "But it's obvious something is bothering you. After all these years with your father, I originally thought it was that case you were called back for last night," she squeezed my hand reassuringly.

"But going on a mother's intuition, I would say that a woman is behind that look. Of course, seeing as though you haven't mentioned anyone since that horrible Irina person, I can't be too sure. Why don't you tell me the name of the girl who's causing all this brooding?"

I smirked at the fact my mother had always been able to read me like a book, and at her blatant disdain for the only woman I had any form of a long term relationship with, even after all these years. Everyone, save me it seemed, had seen through Irina's intentions long before the very end when there was just no denying what an opportunistic bitch she truly was.

I sat back in my chair, releasing my mother's hand as the waiter returned with our main course.

"So….," my mother began, shooting me an expectant look over her wine glass as she waited for my explanation.

"You really can read me like a book, can't you?" I chuckled, shaking my head and taking a bite of my dinner.

Basically I was stalling for time as I tried to put my thoughts together on what exactly to say in regards to what happened with Bella or how disappointed I was that she had not returned my call.

Honestly, how do you explain to your mother that you quite possibly met the woman of your dreams and she ran away from you as quickly as possible?

"You're my child," she said with a dismissive wave of her chop sticks. "It's in the job description of being a mother. Now tell me what's going on."

"I really don't even know where to begin mom," I said, pushing the food around on my plate.

"Well, darling, I've always found that starting at the beginning is usually the best course of action," she said, smiling.

I nodded, returning her smile and taking a deep breath before releasing it slowly and launching into the long version of the events of the previous day.

My mother sat quietly and listened to every minute detail of my initial meeting with Bella and then the surprise at lunch of seeing her again. I explained Bella's reaction and my thoughts on why she bolted as she did when Rosalie and Emmett's plan of setting Bella and I up became overwhelmingly obvious. I told my mother how I felt when Bella took my hand in the elevator and the confusing feelings that I had experienced since that moment.

Even over a day later, the tingling sensation lingered from the feel of her skin against mine; the twinkle that sparkled in her eyes when she giggled at my fumbling attempt at speaking with her when we first met and again when she met my surprised stare at the table a short time later was fresh in my mind.

When I finished laying my heart on the table for my mother, I felt myself slump against the chair and reached for my glass of wine, taking a long draw before looking up to meet her intense gaze.

"Yeah, I know," I said, sighing and dropping my eyes back to the table. "It was probably a very stupid move to call her and even more so to expect that she would return the call."

My mother reached across the table and took my hand in hers, squeezing it gently.

"Edward," she said. "Look at me, dear."

I looked up and was shocked to see her eyes shining with unshed tears.

"I have never heard you speak of another woman the way you have of your Bella. If after only one meeting with this girl you can have such strong feelings toward her, well, then there is only one thing for you to do," she said, releasing my hand and sitting back in her chair, squaring her shoulders.

"What's that, mom?" I asked when she didn't continue immediately.

"You simply have to go after her."

"What?" I said, my voice raising more than was acceptable in our current location and I noticed a few other patrons turn in our direction.

"Sorry," I apologized. "Mom, I can't just go after her. Did you not hear what I said? She ran away because her sister and Emmett tried to set us up on a date. I left the decision up to her about whether she wanted to see me again and she hasn't called. I think it's pretty obvious that she didn't share the same connection I did during our first meeting."

"Humpf," she scoffed. "That's just simply ridiculous. What reason would she have for not falling in love with you at first sight, Edward?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure that she doesn't share that same outlook, mother, but thank you," I laughed.

Of course my mother would find it impossible for anyone to not find me irresistible; unfortunately, it didn't seem Bella shared that same thought.

Thankfully, my mother gave me a reprieve from any further discussion about the situation with Bella, smoothly changing the subject to how things were going at home.

My sister was expecting her first child. She and my mother were planning a huge soiree at our family home, which they disguised under the label of a baby shower but was truly just an excuse to have a party. They were two peas in a pod when it came to entertaining, each feeding off the other in the full experience.

The rest of our time together passed comfortably as we finished our dinner and made the trek to the High Museum. The museum was hosting an exhibit of some of Dali's later pieces and my mother was a huge fan of his work.

We said our goodnights and I turned in soon after we arrived back to my apartment.

Though the surgery wasn't planned until late morning, I would be at the hospital early as always to ensure that everything was still a go for surgery. They were extremely rare, but there were known cases of patient reactions to the Factor-9 infusion and I wanted to check Jake's progress before I met with his father prior to surgery.

I kissed my mom's cheek and took the offered coffee mug from her hand on the way out the door, feeling another pang of guilt as I was required to leave her for the majority of the day. Of course she assured me she had made an itinerary of activities to keep herself busy throughout the time I would be at the hospital.

I arrived a little before seven am and immediately made rounds on the few patients that had not been discharged in my absence the previous day. I made my way up to speak with Jake's nurse to see how he had faired the night before and to ensure all things were a go for the surgery before heading down to the pre-op holding area where he had already been moved to in preparation for moving into the OR.

It was strange how stepping onto the elevator forced an image of Bella's face into the forefront of my mind.

I can't say that I expected her to call…not really. That didn't stop the disappointment from seeping into my chest when two days later I still hadn't received so much as a text telling me to kiss her ass, which I would have taken better than the absence of a response at all at that point.

I took a deep breath and ran a hand through my hair as I mentally shook myself, trying to rid any thoughts of Bella from my consciousness. Taking the chart from the holder outside the OR prep room, I scanned the notes made from the previous day.

The complexity of the surgery because of his hemophilia was weighing heavily on my mind as I knocked on the door and stepped into the room.

"Morning, Jake," I said, crossing to his bedside and shaking hands with his father, Billy.

"Hey, doc," Jake chirped.

Jacob Black was all smiles as I ruffled his hair; kids like him amazed me on a daily basis. He had to be in some pain even with the medications being administered, but he continued to smile.

I began explaining once again to his father what the procedure would entail during and afterward, the amount of care which would have to be taken, and the fact that Jake would need physical therapy after the bone healed.

Thirty minutes later, I was satisfied I had answered all of Billy and Jacob's questions. I said my goodbyes and made my way out of his room. Stepping through the door, I turned toward the flip down wall desk to make my final notes and absently looked down the hall. I froze in my tracks at the sight that caught my eye.

I blinked slowly, thinking I surely wasn't actually seeing what my eyes were plainly telling me I saw standing not twenty feet from me.

Bella stood two doors down, leaning against the wall outside another one of the prep rooms. Her chin was resting on her chest, her eyes closed; she had her arms wrapped around her middle as if she were holding herself together.

She was in a T-shirt and black track pants, so it was obvious she wasn't working.

Why would she be here in this part of the hospital? Especially if she wasn't working.

I closed the distance between us before I even realized I had moved.

"Bella," I said quietly.

Her head snapped up, her eyes locking with mine, and I was hit square in the chest with the intensity of the pain radiating from her entire being. She looked completely stricken and haunted.

It was plain to see she was fighting tears and her breath was coming in short pants from the effort.

"Are you okay?" I asked, though it was obvious she was anything but okay.

I couldn't imagine what had her in such a state or what would bring her to this part of the hospital. I stepped closer to her as she stammered with an explanation.

My heart clenched in my chest at seeing her in such pain and not knowing what I could do to help her or even what would cause her to look like her heart had been ripped from her chest.

"Edward, I'm so sorry about the other day. You called….and you said you wanted to talk…and I really wanted to call you back. And you said…." she trailed off, looking into my eyes as if she was searching for something. Taking a deep breath, she continued, "You seem like such a great person, but you have to know that…."

The next words that came out of her mouth completely blew me away. Never in a million years would I have expected the explanation she gave me for not returning my call and for being in the hospital

"Edward," she whispered, dropping her gaze to the floor and pulling at the hem on her T-shirt as she seemed to steel herself for what she was about to say.

She raised her head and looked at me with a steady gaze through eyes that shone with unshed tears.

"I'm a widow, Edward. My husband was killed in Afghanistan a little over five years ago. I have a nine year old daughter who has Cystic Fibrosis. My daughter has a rare mutation of the CF gene and the doctors have no idea how that is going to affect her future prognosis. She was admitted yesterday and right now she's having a bronchoscopy to get a better idea of what infection we're dealing with. This is the second time this year she's been admitted. I don't sleep, _ever. _When she's well, I worry about when the next exacerbation is going to happen. When she's sick, I worry about how sick she's going to get and if this time it will be more than her body can fight off. I spend every waking minute trying to figure out how to keep her healthy. To keep her weight in a normal range, her needed calorie intake is higher than a grown man's just to maintain her weight, and forget it if she actually needed to gain a pound. You would think that telling a kid she can have as much ice cream as she wants would be a good thing; it's not, by a long shot. She takes ten different medications twice a day, every day, and that's when she's healthy, which obviously right now she's not.

"In addition to all that, she does percussion therapy to hopefully keep the mucous in her lungs broken up enough that she can cough it out, which most of the time she can't. I've had two quasi relationships since my husband…." She paused taking a deep breath blowing it out slowly through her nose before continuing. "Let's just say neither one ended well. So while I completely felt something when we met and I got your message, I'm glad you seem to think you feel something too, though I have to be honest, I can't understand it, any of it…..at all. I don't understand why I feel those same sensations even standing right here in front of you now," she shook her head sadly. "I don't understand how I can feel something so strong when I don't even know you…." she trailed off in a whisper as her eyes bounced between mine and she seemed to be committing my face to memory.

"Edward, if I feel this intensely for you…. I don't even know you….How can….what's going to happen when you walk away? I can't watch another man I care for so much walk away," she whispered to the floor as she dropped her gaze to her feet.

I felt my heart break as the weight of all that Bella had revealed hit me full force. The knowledge that she not only had been married and her husband served in Afghanistan and died during his service was heartbreaking enough, but to know they had a daughter who was ill was devastating.

Pulmonology wasn't my forte or field of expertise, but I knew enough about Cystic Fibrosis to understand the gravity of what Bella was dealing with in her life. No wonder she was hesitant in the few short interactions we shared.

I vowed then and there to show her that she didn't have to worry about that from me. If she let me into her life, there would be no way I would ever walk away from her or her daughter. Though it probably wasn't appropriate, I couldn't stop myself. I had to touch her.

"Bella," I whispered as I reached out to ghost the back of my fingers along the side of her cheek, sliding them over the curve of her jaw and wrapping my hand around her neck.

I rubbed my thumb over her pulse point and could feel her heart rate increase as I looked into her eyes.

"Oh, Bella, that's what's happened to you? I knew you must have felt whatever this is between us, how could you not? I've never felt such a pull to someone before, Bella, but my God if that's the type of guys you've encountered since your husband passed, then no wonder you ran from me."

It made me incredibly sad to know Bella felt she had to push me away, that she did it not because she didn't feel something for me, but to protect herself and her daughter.

"I'm not going to run away from you or your daughter, Bella. Let me in," I whispered, looking deeply into her eyes. "Let me prove to you that I'm not going anywhere. I won't walk away. I won't leave you alone. You can let me in, Bella. I won't leave you."

I could see the internal struggle Bella was waging with herself. It was written all over her face and I watched as the walls around her heart fell.

I wanted to only comfort her, to reassure her and prove that she could trust me with her heart. I didn't want to scare her away by showing her just how much I felt for her, but I was unable to stop myself from wrapping my arms around her small frame and pulling her into an embrace.

"You don't have to be so strong all the time, Bella. Let me help you," I whispered into the soft locks of her hair. She buried her face in my chest and fisted my scrub top in her hands as a sob ripped through her body. I tightened my arms around her and held her as she cried.

"Bella, sweetheart, are you here alone?" I asked quietly when she seemed to have calmed somewhat.

She sniffled, nodding against my chest.

"Rosalie was with me until just after they took Olivia," she said, pulling back slightly to look up at me. "She's on duty today, so she had to get back to the floor."

I nodded in understanding as my mind went into overdrive. I didn't want to overstep my bounds and scare her away again, but I also didn't feel comfortable leaving Bella alone.

Truly I wanted nothing more than to stay with her, to just sit and hold her while she waited for her child to return, but I had to be in surgery in a very short period of time. My eyes widened as the perfect solution came to me. I reached up with one hand to gently wipe the tears away from her face with the tips of my fingers.

"I have an idea." I said, bending to press a kiss to her forehead. I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face as I felt her relax further into my touch.

"I have to be in surgery in just a little bit, but if you wouldn't be terribly opposed, my mother is in town and I would really like for her to stay with you. I really don't want you to be here alone."

"Oh, Edward," she sighed, looking up at me, shaking her head. "I couldn't ask her to do that. Really, I….it's okay, I'm used to be-"

"Please, Bella," I said, framing her face between my palms, wiping away a few more stray tears with my thumbs. "Believe me, my mother would love nothing more. She was going to be alone herself for most of the day because of my schedule."

I could see the uncertainty in Bella's eyes as she debated my offer and whether I was telling the truth about my mother's willingness to sit in a hospital with a complete stranger. The thing that Bella didn't know was my mother would likely have an aneurysm from happiness when she found out that she could meet the girl who I had poured my heart out about to her the previous night.

"Bella, it would ease my mind tremendously," I said, smiling. "I won't be able to concentrate knowing you're here all alone. Please….let me do this for you, Bella."

Bella's face was a mixture of emotions as she contemplated what I said; I held her gaze as her eyes bounced between mine, searching, looking for any sign that I was being anything but sincere. I knew she would find nothing other than the absolute truth there and as she seemed to find what she was looking for she released a sigh.

"Okay," she murmured.

"Let me make a call," I said, pulling her into my arms once again and relishing the feel of her body against mine as she turned her head, pressing her cheek to my chest. "My apartment is only about ten minutes away, so she can be here in no time."

She nodded against my chest, whispering a fervent thank you as I tightened my arms around her once more, pressing my lips to the top of her head before releasing her to call my mother.

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**So I hope you all enjoy the little trip with Edward and where things ended. There will be a couple more chapters after this that are somewhat medically heavy but then their will be a shift into more of the family/romance part of the story. I just wanted to throw that out there because I know the last couple of chapters have been pretty intense medically speaking, but these are the scenarios of living with Cystic Fibrosis. As I've said this is based on what my family deals with presently, doesn't mean it's what every family deals with but those of you who have expressed that you have chronically ill family members you understand some of these situations are similar regardless of the disease or ailment. **

**Please visit the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation's website for more information www(.)cff(.)org **

**I will be posting chapter 8 on Monday...have a great weekend. **

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Same disclaimer applies. I don't own it, wish I did. SM does, but I appreciate her allowing us to play with her characters because no copyright infringement is intended. **

**Big huge thanks to my superbeta Jessica1971. MWAH!**

**A quick thank you to all of you who have rec'd this story to your friends, mentioned it on Twitter or generally just let someone else know about the story. Thank you from the very pits of my heart! **

**Okay so Mamma Esme is on her way...**

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Chapter 8

Acceptance

BPOV

I stepped out into the hallway because I was feeling claustrophobic inside the tiny pre-op room where only a few moments ago the OR nurse had left with my baby.

Knowing that I truly had no control over what happened within that operating room, no control over the results that Dr. Mitchell would bring back to me when he finished. The feeling of being out of control of the entire situation left me with a cloying sensation of disorientation. There was nothing I could do to change the outcome, and whatever those results were held my daughter's future in their palm.

When I heard Edward's voice calling my name, my head snapped up and my heart leapt into my throat as I saw him moving quickly in my direction.

My entire body completely froze, locked in place as if I had turned to stone.

As he stopped in front of me and I looked into his green eyes filled with concern and confusion, I felt as if I were dreaming while awake. Though my concerns for Olivia's health had overshadowed everything in my conscious thoughts when I fell into sleep, it seemed my subconscious could think of nothing but the man who stood before me at that moment; I found my dreams were sorely lacking in their recollections.

Looking into his kind, handsome face and hearing the concern in his voice, I could literally feel the fissures in the brick wall around my heart begin to crack open. The cracks in my defenses started the first day we met; though I tried my best to deny them, they were there all the same.

After the message Edward left on my voice mail, I knew that I wanted to see him again, but I wasn't sure about how that would ever work out. Now seeing him again in that moment, there was no denying how much he affected me by his mere presence.

My heart pounded in my chest and I felt the tears pooling in my eyes as Rosalie's words from the night before Olivia was admitted ran through my mind.

_You have to give someone a chance…stop pushing everyone away. _

I wasn't using Olivia's condition as an excuse necessarily, but I had to lay everything out on the line and be completely honest about what my life was like, especially now with what was going on with her health.

I didn't know how he would react, but I couldn't hide from him any longer and I found I didn't want to.

Edward had to know what he was getting himself into if he truly wanted to get to know me. I expected him to walk away once he knew the full extent of my story, but wanted him to have the option of leaving now with a full understanding of what he was signing up for if he chose not to. I would understand if he reconsidered his professed desire to see where things could go between us.

What I didn't expect once I finished the tell all testimony was for him to wrap me in his arms and swear to me that he wasn't going anywhere.

There was a depth of emotion and honesty in his words which was undeniable, and for reasons I couldn't even begin to understand I believed him. It was as if once those words left his lips, every resistance I had to letting him into our lives fell away.

I couldn't have stopped the tears even if I tried as I buried my face into Edward's chest and he tightened his arms around me.

I had forgotten what it felt like to have someone hold me and allow me to fall apart, if only for a moment. The feeling of letting go, allowing someone else to hold me up for a few minutes, was one of the things I had missed most in the years since Mike's death.

Though Mike's family and mine had always been there at the ready when Olivia or I needed something, and for all of that I would be eternally grateful, but as Rosalie pointed out, at the end of the day the responsibility fell upon my shoulders. As Olivia's mother, I was the one most deeply affected by the requirements of caring for my child.

Allowing Edward to take a small amount of that weight, even for just a few moments, was like a liferaft in the storm of emotions battering me from the inside out.

When Edward made the suggestion that his mother would love to come to the hospital and sit with me during Olivia's procedure, I was taken aback for a moment and completely unsure how to respond. Though I knew I really didn't want to be alone, I wasn't sure that sitting with Edward's mother was such a great idea, not to mention I didn't feel right about asking an absolute stranger to put herself out in such a way.

But as he pulled back and held my face between his large hands, I looked up into his shining green eyes and found it impossible to say no to something that seemed so very important to him, so I acquiesced.

Edward had assured me that his apartment was only a few minutes from the hospital and that his mother had no true plans for the day, but I couldn't help still feeling guilty.

Edward led me back inside the tiny pre-op room where I had been instructed to wait for Olivia. She would go to recovery for a short time after her procedure and then would be brought back to this same holding bay before returning to her room.

"Edward," I said, looking down into my lap and picking at my nail beds. "I really feel awful about letting you call your mother. I just-"

"Bella, really," he said, cutting me off and reaching out to brush my hair over my shoulder, "my mother was beside herself when I told her and, honestly, she wasn't even at my apartment. She was shopping just down the street." He laughed and shook his head. "I probably should warn you about-"

Edward stopped mid-sentence and we both turned toward the door as a knock sounded just before a beautiful diminutive woman, who as I took in her appearance was no doubt Edward's mother, stepped into the room with a brilliant smile upon her face and the same startling green eyes as her son.

Edward and I stood at the same time; he crossed to his mother quickly, bending to kiss her cheek as he whispered something in her ear.

"Bella," Edward said, turning back to me with a slightly sheepish grin. "This is my mother, Esme Cullen. Mother this is-"

"Oh, my dear boy," Esme cried as she placed a hand over her mouth before crossing the tiny space to wrap me in a warm embrace. "This is your Bella."

I stiffened slightly, taken off guard by her enthusiastic greeting before wrapping my arms tentatively around her shoulders and returning her hug. It was as if the room filled with a warm ray of sunshine when Esme Cullen entered it, and that warmth radiated from her every pore.

"Darling," Esme said, turning to look at Edward over her shoulder while pulling back to hold me by the upper arms. "She is simply beautiful."

Esme captured my face between her hands and stared intently into my eyes. "No wonder you've stolen my son's heart so quickly."

I felt my breath catch and my eyes widened before darting to Edward, who was standing just behind his mother with a horrified look on his face.

"Mother," Edward choked.

I watched as he screwed his eyes closed and ran his hand through his hair several times furiously. When Edward opened his eyes, they locked with mine and I couldn't stop the giggle that bubbled from my chest at the sight of the pink tinge staining his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

Edward was absolutely, undeniably adorable, especially when he was embarrassed.

"What, my darling boy?" Esme said innocently, looking back at Edward once more.

The mischievous glint in her eye was obvious when she turned back, winking before releasing me and making her way to the plastic chairs Edward and I had just vacated.

I instantly knew I would like Esme Cullen; she was hilarious. Though it was obvious she loved her son very much, she also loved to tease him and it seemed she had absolutely no filter.

I snickered to myself at the thought that she and Emmett would get along famously. I wondered briefly if they had met since Edward and Emmett were friends.

"Oh, God," Edward groaned, placing his hands over his face and laughing nervously.

I crossed to where he stood. Wrapping my fingers around his wrists to pull his hands down slowly. I could feel the smirk pull at my lips as a crooked smile spread across his face when he looked down at me.

"I…um," he stammered, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry about that…I, ah, I might have mentioned a little about you to her over the last couple days. She kind of just…ran with it…."

"Really? I would have never guessed," I teased, quirking an eyebrow.

He scoffed and shook his head, "Yeah, maybe just a little…..I wish I could stay here with you, but I've got to get to surgery." He ran a finger down my cheek, gently staring into my eyes.

"Would it be okay to come by later to check on you and your daughter if-"

"Olivia."

"What?" he asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"My daughter…her name is Olivia," I said quietly, pulling at the hem of my T-shirt and dropping my eyes to the floor.

"Oh, that's a beautiful name, Bella," he murmured.

I thanked him and smiled shyly, looking up at him through my lashes.

Edward's eyes widened slightly as he looked down at me, the smile sliding from his face. The same tingle I felt the very first time I heard his voice ran down my spine and I shivered from the intensity of the sensations running through my system like a wildfire through the underbrush of a forest.

A discreet but obvious cough from behind me broke the spell of whatever energy was flowing between us at that moment, and I took a step back as Edward ran his hand through his hair, pulling at the ends.

I smiled as I noticed he did that a lot. It was definitely a nervous tick.

"So, um…." Edward said, clearing his throat. "Uh…would it be okay if I came by later to check on you and Olivia? If you think it wouldn't be too much…I don't want to…um…."

"I think it would be fine, Edward," I interrupted, pleased that he wanted to meet my daughter, but feeling guilty for taking him away from his other responsibilities and time with his mother. "But I don't want to take you away from time with your mother, and I know you have patients to take care of…" I trailed off.

"Honestly, Bella, I would really like to meet her, if you're okay with that and you don't think it would be too much for Olivia after her procedure. I don't want to pressure you or anything."

"Edward," I said, smiling at him gently. "I would like that very much. Olivia will probably sleep for most of the rest of the day."

Olivia usually slept most of the day away after having general anesthesia, so I wanted to make sure he understood it would be late before she was very coherent. Edward made it clear he would be in surgery or doing rounds for the rest of the day, so it would be late in the evening before his shift would end and he could come by anyway.

"Okay, I've got to go," he said reluctantly, looking behind me to his mother as he smirked. "Mother, behave please."

I turned to look over my shoulder at Esme, who looked every bit the wide eyed innocent. Had her eyes not sparkled so mischievously, it would have been almost convincing.

"I'm certain I have no idea what you're talking about, darling," she said as she flipped absently through a design magazine I had noticed earlier on the small table between the chairs.

"Umhm," Edward hummed before training his gaze on my face once again.

I smiled as I looked up into his shining green eyes for a long moment before he cupped my cheek with his palm.

"So, I'll see you later then," he said almost as a question.

I nodded and felt the loss immediately when he dropped his hand from my face, turning to leave the room after a last goodbye. With an assurance to his mother that he would see her at home later, he was gone.

I released a heavy sigh as the door closed behind Edward. Turning to cross back to where Esme Cullen sat with her hands folded on the magazine in her lap, the same crooked smile I had seen on Edward's face started spreading across hers.

"So, Bella…" she said as I sat down in the empty chair to her left. "Edward tells me that you're a nurse?"

"Yes, ma'am," I said, returning her smile. "I'm a hospice nurse. I work with end stage cardiac patients."

"Oh, I know how difficult that can be, dear. Before I met Edward's father, I worked in oncology," she said.

Esme launched into telling me how she and Edward's father met while he was an intern at the hospital where she worked. It was amazing how easy she was to talk to and we found that there were more than a few things we had in common.

Esme and I were both avid readers of anything in the romance genre and found that not only did we each love the classics like Austen and Bronte we both read everything Nicholas Sparks had ever written.

She told me about Edward growing up. I laughed until I cried as she regaled me with stories of how she was unsure at times if she would be able to raise Edward and his sister, Alice, to adulthood with the way they went at each other.

Evidently they both were incredibly stubborn as children. I discovered Edward and Alice were only eighteen months apart and Esme swore they loved nothing better than to bicker with one another, but it was more a habit than an indicator of how they truly felt about one another.

"Bella," Esme said quietly, placing a comforting hand over mine. "Will you tell me about your daughter?"

I looked up to meet her eyes and saw nothing but concern reflected in them. I felt a warm sensation in my chest as I thought about what a caring woman Esme Cullen truly was and knew that this was where Edward's kind heart must come from.

Smiling at Esme, I began to tell her every single thing I could think of to let her know what a wonderful little girl Olivia was. I told her about times when she was small and would bring every injured creature she could find into the house for me to examine.

Even at three, Olivia knew she wanted to be a veterinarian when she grew up. As the thought of Olivia's dream to be a vet crossed my mind, a sharp pain shot through my chest at the reminder of what might not ever occur.

"Bella," Esme said, taking my hand in hers.

I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes as I met Esme's gaze.

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," she said, standing to pull me into her arms. "Oh….Edward's going to be so upset with me for making you cry."

"No, no," I said, pulling back and wiping a tear from the corner of my eye. "It's just….I hadn't thought about Olivia's dream of being a vet for a long time. And I guess thinking about that and knowing if the doctor finds….." I trailed off, unable to complete the thought as my throat constricted with emotion.

Esme stood, pulling me to my feet and wrapping her arms around my shoulders once more. I rested my head on her shoulder, noticing that there really was very little difference in our heights.

Standing in the embrace of this woman I had only met a short period of time before, I took comfort in her warmth, in her offering to help at that moment to alleviate a little of my hurt. I realized in that moment that- just as I did with Edward- I felt as though I had known her much longer.

Esme released me as a knock at the door alerted us just before Dr. Mitchell poked his head in the room.

"Hi, Bella," he smiled.

I prayed that the smile on his face meant that things went better than expected.

"Dr. Mitchell," I breathed. "How did…." I trailed off, unable to finish the question as fear of what he would have to say stole my voice.

Dr. Mitchell stepped inside and crossed the room quickly, placing a hand to my upper arm and leading me to the chairs before kneeling in front of me.

He turned, looking over his shoulder to where Esme stood quietly across the room, and I realized he wasn't sure if he could discuss Olivia's case at the moment.

"Oh, Dr. Mitchell, I'm so sorry. This is Esme Cullen," I said, smiling up at Esme. "She's a very dear friend. You may know her son, Dr. Edward Cullen. He's an orthopedic surgeon here in the hospital. Esme, this is Dr. Mitchell, he's Olivia's pulmonologist."

"Oh, yes, actually I do know Dr. Cullen. He cared for my son last year when he broke his arm." Dr. Mitchell said as he stood to shake Esme's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am."

"It's very nice to meet you as well, Dr. Mitchell," Esme said as she took his hand.

Dr. Mitchell turned his attention back to me and proceeded to fill me in on what happened during Olivia's procedure. Thankfully the procedure had gone according to plan. There was some difficulty passing the bronchoscope into the left lung, but otherwise there had been no complications.

"Everything overall went fine, Bella," he said reassuringly, smiling as he crossed to take the seat next to me. "Olivia's in recovery right now and should be waking up soon. She'll stay there until she's stable, then they'll bring her back here to you, okay?"

A tiny whimper escaped my lips and my hand shot to cover my mouth as I nodded my head.

My breath hitched as Dr. Mitchell explained that the results of the samples taken from Olivia's lungs came back negative for any infection outside of MRSA-staph. None of the most dangerous bacteria were present and the broad-spectrum antibiotics which Olivia had already begun would be just what she needed to clear up her current infection. They would of course be doing a long term culture to ensure that nothing else grew, but as it looked at that point, the results were as good as I could have hoped for.

The plan of treatment put in place on admission would stay the same, and hopefully Olivia would be able to go home in a week.

As in the past, if Olivia was allowed to go home after the first week of IV therapy in the hospital, she would complete the therapy on an outpatient basis with Rosalie or me administering the doses.

Whether she went home next week all depended on how she responded to therapy and whether her lung functions improved a great deal.

I collapsed in my chair as soon as Dr. Mitchell left to wait for Olivia to be brought in from recovery. Olivia was brought back to me a short time later, out like a light as I expected.

Esme stayed until Olivia was being moved back to her room, only leaving at that point after promising to visit again before she left to go back home to Washington and when Olivia was a bit more coherent.

Though our home away from home wasn't exactly the _The W_ downtown, it was nice to be back in Olivia's room and not in the tiny OR holding area any longer.

Once Olivia was settled in her bed and sleeping off the remainder of the anesthesia, I sat down and melted into the sofa. The emotions of the day had completely drained me. My dad called just after we got back to Olivia's room to get a status report, as well as both Renee and Carole in quick succession. Everyone was anxious to know how the procedure went and just as relieved to find out that so far the results were good.

I laughed quietly when I read Rosalie's text notifying me she wouldn't be dropping by on her way out because she and Em would be back later on with '_contraband'_. I assumed that meant they were coming back with Olivia's favorite meal, and if I knew the two of them, it would be enough candy to send a full grown man into a diabetic coma.

As I rested my head against the back of the sofa, I couldn't help the smile that pulled at the corner of my lips as I thought about Edward's mother. Esme Cullen was a force of nature and I honestly knew I had made a friend in her. And her son was heartbreakingly adorable in his embarrassment at her comments before he had to leave for surgery.

Getting to know Esme over the time she sat with me helped me feel as though I knew Edward a bit better and I had to admit I liked what I discovered.

Finding out that Edward came from such a caring family. That he had parents who were involved with his life and a sister who he loved very much. That knowledge was just one more mark in the pro's column.

My eyes slid closed with thoughts of the way Edward made me feel when he held me earlier fresh on my mind. There was a humming electricity that shot through my body even at just the memory of his arms around me. I drifted off to the blackness of sleep with Edward and all the things I had discovered about him racing through my mind.

* * *

**Thank you all so much once again for your love and support for this story. Please visit the thread at Twilighted when you can and the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation for further information about the disease at www(.)cff(.)org.**

**On a personal note, thank you all for asking after my daughter. She is doing well at the present moment and had a very good check up recently with her CF team. I am currently out of town with my kids but I will still be posting the next chapter on Wednesday. =)**

**Until Wednesday...**

**xoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Still not mine, SM owns twilight. **

**Huge thanks to my Master Yoda, Jessica1971, she makes my words prettier! MWAH!**

**Thank you to all of you who are reading & reviewing this story. It means so very much too me, I apologize once again that I have not been able to reply to all of you but please know I appreciate your kind words. **

** On to the story...  
**

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Chapter 9

Visiting hours...

EPOV

Leaving Bella in the hands of my mother was dually the most difficult and the most natural thing I had ever experienced.

There was something about seeing my mother accept Bella so readily and quickly that shot straight through to my heart. Even with the embarrassing things my mother decided to reveal about exactly how strongly I already felt for Bella, the two of them seemed to hit it off right away.

I had rarely brought anyone home to meet my parents. Frankly, very few women had meant enough to me to warrant the privilege of meeting my family. Even so, my mother was never what would be considered openly warm with the women in my life.

She never liked Irina and the few girls I dated before; they were more a nuisances that she tolerated rather than truly enjoying their company.

With Bella I could see the light in her eyes the moment she saw her. I knew that I would be getting an earful later when I arrived back at my apartment where she would be lying in wait for me.

Thankfully, it would be considerably late, especially if I was going to visit Bella and Olivia before leaving for the night.

The memory of holding Bella in my arms made my whole body hum as I made my way to the scrub area to prepare for Jake's surgery. I could see that he was already fast asleep and the team had prepped the area around his upper thigh where I would be affixing the outer stabilization. The fact that we had to wait to repair the break properly so he could receive the infusions of Factor-9 before surgery only complicated the case further, requiring the bone which may have begun to knit be re-broken and set once again, surgically held in correct placement with the steel halo around his leg I would be placing shortly.

As much as I wanted nothing more than to be with Bella at that moment, to hold her hand and comfort her, to provide the shoulder she needed to rely on, I could only pray that when the time came in the future, Bella would allow me to be there for her then.

I took a deep breath as I entered the surgical suite, clearing my mind of thoughts of Bella and her daughter.

I had a patient waiting and I needed to be focused on the task at hand.

Several hours later, after successfully repairing Jacob's leg and ensuring that he was comfortable, I completed the last of my follow-up visits on a few patients who were still inpatient before making my way down to the locker rooms to shower and change.

Knowing Olivia's immune system was compromised with her condition, I wanted to make sure that any contaminants I may have come in contact with while doing rounds were washed away so that I didn't bring anything into her room.

Though my knowledge of Cystic Fibrosis was limited, I did know that most of the patients on the respiratory floor had 'touch precautions'.

Luckily I kept a change of clothes in my locker for whatever occasion might arise where I needed to be a little more dressed than my usual scrub attire.

Once I finished with a quick shower, I slipped into a white button down shirt, a pair of dark wash jeans, and my favorite thoroughly worn pair of brown Doc Marten oxfords before making my way to the first floor.

I rushed off the elevator in hopes I wasn't too late to get to the gift shop before it closed for the evening. I hoped to find a gift for Olivia on the first of what I hoped would be many times we would see one another.

As I arrived, Mrs. Geneva was just turning the lock on the door. I sighed in relief as it seemed I was in fact lucky that she had worked the closing shift and not the early one. If it was anyone else closing up, I wouldn't have had a chance of slipping in before they closed for the night.

She looked up over her rimmed glasses to smile as I called out to her.

"Hi, Mrs. Geneva," I said, smiling at the tiny grey haired woman.

Mrs. Geneva was a sweet lady that reminded me quite a bit of my grandmother Cullen. She even had a slight Scottish lilt to her words which sealed the resemblance for me to my favorite grandparent.

We had developed a great friendship over the last several months during my morning trek to the small coffee kiosk inside the gift shop where she worked. Mrs. Geneva was the barista most mornings when I would come by for my requisite cup of black coffee for the day.

"Oh, Edward, my dear boy," she laughed lightly. "What brings you by here at this time of night? I was just closing up shop."

"Yes, ma'am, I see that, but would you mind if I popped in to get a gift for a little girl that I'm on my way to visit?" I asked, giving her the most pitifully pleading look I could conjure up.

She laughed again, placing a hand on my forearm. "You are a charmer aren't you?"

"I'll only be a moment. Thank you so much, Mrs. Geneva," I said, bending to kiss her cheek.

"Psh, like I could tell you no, dear boy," she said, a slight blush to her cheeks.

I quickly made my way to the back of the shop to peruse the selection of stuffed animals. Suddenly, I was struck with the fact that I had no idea what to get a girl Olivia's age and had even less of a notion as to what her interests were. I was at a complete loss.

"You need some help, don't you?" Mrs. Geneva chuckled from behind me and I turned to see her smiling up at me with a knowing look on her face.

"Yes, ma'am, I do. I have no idea what I'm looking for, I'm sorry," I said, smiling sheepishly and rubbing the back of my neck as she laughed at my predicament.

Mrs. Geneva asked a few questions about who I was shopping for and I filled her in a little on Olivia's condition.

"So," she smiled as she chose a few teen magazines from the rack and a pack of colored pencils along with a drawing pad. "The mother is someone special to you, hmm?"

"Yes, she is," I nodded. "Or at least I want her to be."

Mrs. Geneva nodded with a knowing smile on her round face as she placed the items inside a gift bag along with colorful tissue paper and tied it all together with a small _Get Well Soon _balloon.

I paid for the gifts and thanked her with another kiss to the cheek before making my way to Olivia's room on the third floor.

Stopping just outside the door to Olivia's room, I took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly to calm the nervous churning of my stomach.

I could hear what sounded like voices from inside, but they seemed to be from a television and not from Bella or her daughter.

I knocked softly.

Bella's voice called out quietly in answer. I pushed open the door to find both Bella and her daughter propped up in bed with the rolling tray table stretched across the bed, a half eaten dinner plate in front of both of them.

A wide smile broke across Bella's face as our eyes locked. I felt a similar smile reflected on my own face as I stepped fully into the room, closing the door behind me. I watched as Bella slipped from the bed and quickly closed the space between us, never breaking eye contact with me.

"Hi," she whispered.

"Hi," I whispered, sucking in a breath as she looked up at me through her lashes.

"I'm glad you came by….I didn't know if you would…." She turned to look at Olivia before looking back to me.

My eyes bounced from Bella's face to the tiny cherub of a child sitting in the center of the hospital bed, who at the moment was staring at me with a questioning stare reminiscent of the one her mother had worn the first day we had met.

With her long blonde hair pulled into a high ponytail, Olivia looked at me with the same wide brown doe eyes as her mother. The dark circles under her eyes stood out in stark contrast to her alabaster coloring. She looked beyond the point of exhaustion, but she smiled shyly at me as I looked between her and her mother for a moment before part of what Bella said finally sank into my consciousness.

My brow furrowed in misunderstanding as to why she would think I wouldn't come to see them as I had promised. "Why wouldn't I come by, Bella?"

"She's only been truly awake for about half an hour, just long enough to have dinner," Bella continued, ignoring my question as she looked up at me with a shy smile.

"She's beautiful, Bella," I murmured, struck once again by her innocent beauty.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

The love she held for her daughter was radiating from her every pore and it quite nearly brought me to my knees as I stared at her in awe. I remembered often seeing a similar expression on my mother's face as she looked at me or Alice as we were growing up, and even now as adults it was still there.

"How did the bronch go?"

Bella's smile widened and she raised her face to look me fully in the eye. A sense of utter relief flooded her entire being; although the fatigue was plain behind her eyes, they sparkled in a way I had not witnessed before, and I felt my heart stutter in my chest.

"Everything went exactly as I hoped. The results were good, no bacteria other than what we've dealt with in the past," she said, glancing over her shoulder toward Olivia once again.

"That's wonderful, Bella," I said, feeling a sensation of relief that I had never experienced before, and I realized at that moment how concerned I had unconsciously been for what they would find out. "I….I brought her a gift. I didn't know what type of things she liked, but um…well, I hope she'll like it."

I held out the gift bag, feeling unsure of the items that Mrs. Geneva had chosen. I hoped she was correct in her assurances that Olivia would like the magazines and that the drawing tablet and pencils would give her something to pass the time when she didn't feel like going to the _Game Zone. _

"Oh, Edward," Bella sighed. "You didn't have to bring her anything….thank you, though. That was very sweet. Come on, I'll introduce you and you can give it to her."

Bella took my hand and led me over to Olivia's bed.

"Olivia," Bella said, smiling at her daughter as she released my hand and sat on the corner of Olivia's bed. "This is a friend of mine, Dr. Edward Cullen. You probably don't remember, honey, but you met his mother earlier when you came back from your procedure?"

Olivia looked at her mother as her little brow furrowed in concentration as she tried to remember my mother.

"Yeah, kind of, I guess," she shrugged unsurely and looked up at me with questioning eyes.

Bella turned to me, smiling. "Edward, this is my daughter Olivia."

"It's nice to meet you, Dr. Cullen," Olivia said, her eyes still wide with question as she looked from me to her mother several times.

"Hi, Olivia," I said, smiling gently down at her. "It's very nice to meet you. I brought you a little gift."

Olivia's eyes widened even more in delighted surprise as she looked from me to the gift bag, then to her mother.

"Go ahead, honey," Bella prodded gently, a smile on her face.

"Thank you," Olivia said as she took the bag from me and began untying the ribbons which held the balloon in place on the handles of the bag.

"You're very welcome."

I watched with apprehension as she was finally able to remove the balloon from the bag and hand it to her mother before ripping the tissue paper out of the way to reveal the gifts inside.

"Oh, wow!" she cried, looking up to meet my eyes with a wide smile. "Thank you very much, Dr. Cullen."

"You're welcome, Olivia. If it's alright with your mom," I said, looking to Bella in question, "you can call me Edward."

Bella turned to stare at me for a long moment before a smile spread across her face and she nodded, "I think that would be just fine, Olivia."

"Cool," Olivia sighed, lying back against her pillows as she pulled out the magazines Mrs. Geneva had chosen. "Mom, look I didn't have this one yet and it has Justin Bieber on it."

She turned the magazine to face Bella.

I could see the face of some young boy smiling up from the page with the name of the magazine splashed across the front in hot pink glittery letters spelling out _Bop. _

Bella nodded and smiled before looking back to me with a roll of her eyes.

"She's into that Justin Bieber kid. He's annoying, but…." she shrugged with a chuckle.

"Mom, he is not annoying," Olivia grumbled, furrowing her brow in apparent aggravation at her mother. "He's awesome."

"Okay, whatever you say, sweetie," Bella sighed, smiling at her daughter indulgently as Olivia huffed an annoyed sigh and went back to looking through the magazine.

I chuckled at the two of them and felt myself relax a bit knowing that at the very least Olivia seem to like the gift.

Bella slid off Olivia's bed to stand in front of me and smiled up at me.

"Thank you, again, that was really a nice thing to do," she murmured. "Would you like to have a seat? Maybe hang out with us for a little while…"

I looked into her eyes for a long moment before nodding, "Yeah, I think I would like that….a lot."

Turning to Olivia, I asked, "Would you mind if I hung out for a little bit, Olivia?"

"No, sir," she said, glancing up with a smile from her magazine. "I think that would be cool."

I gestured for Bella to lead the way and we rounded Olivia's bed, where I settled in the rocking recliner which was standard in all the rooms within the hospital. Bella continued on to sit on the sofa, kicking off her scuff slippers and tucking her legs under her.

"So, what kind of doctor are you?" Olivia asked, looking up from her magazine. "You're not like the ones that usually see me, are you?"

I chuckled, shaking my head as I ran a hand through my hair. "No, I'm actually…..I fix broken bones and stuff like that."

"Oh, kind of like Em, huh?" Olivia's eye brightened with understanding.

"Yeah, exactly like Emmett," I said, smiling. "Actually, Emmett's kind of like my boss."

"That's funny," Olivia giggled. "Emmett doesn't act like somebody's boss."

"Olivia," Bella admonished with a barely held together stern look on her face.

It was easy to see she was fighting a snicker of her own.

"Sorry," Olivia said, though the grin she shot me when her mother turned away told me she was anything but.

I winked at Olivia before dropping my head so Bella wouldn't catch me laughing at the truth in Olivia's precocious statement.

Olivia went on to fill me in about all things Justin Bieber, The Jonas Brothers, and Harry Potter. Even though I had heard all the names in passing with my own patients, I had no true knowledge of who any of them outside of Harry Potter actually were.

When she asked me whether I had seen any of the Harry Potter movies, she was completely appalled that although I had read all the books, I had never actually watched any of the movies.

She schooled me on the musical talents of both this Bieber kid and the Jonas Brothers. Though I think I might have impressed her that I did know a few of the Jonas Brothers' songs, she was sure to inform me that I didn't know good music if I had not listened to something called _Oh baby_ or _Baby, baby_ by Justin Bieber.

I smiled at Bella, who rolled her eyes with a grimace as she leaned over, placing her hand on my forearm and whispering to me, "Believe me, you're not missing anything – at all."

The shock of Bella's touch was immediate and I looked up to see her staring wide eyed at me, but she didn't remove her hand.

"I probably should get going, Bella," I said quietly as her hand slowly slipped from my arm and I pushed out of the rocking chair to stand.

Bella stood slowly and followed me to Olivia's side.

"Goodnight, Olivia," I said, crossing to her bed. "I'm very glad I got to meet you. I hope you feel much better soon."

"Thanks," she said through a yawn as she lay back against her pillow and pulled her blanket up to the center of her chest. "I'll be good as new in a few days. I have to be because I have a ballet recital in like….a month, I think. Are you gonna come?"

"I…uh, I'm not…I," I stammered and looked to Bella, completely taken off guard by Olivia's request.

"We'll have to see about that, Olivia. Edward's a very busy doctor, so he may not be able to come, okay?" she smiled at her daughter before looking at me with the same unsure expression I was positive I also had represented on my face.

As much as I wanted to spend time getting to know Bella and her daughter, I didn't want to make Bella feel pressured in fear that she would push me away again. Something had definitely changed in regards to her feelings on whatever was going on between us, and I had no intention of doing anything that would put her back in the same mind set she had been in when she ran away from me the first time we met.

I said my goodbyes to Olivia, promising I would try to stop by again to see her before she was discharged and turned to make my way to the door.

As I reached for the door knob, I heard Bella speak to Olivia and my heart dropped to somewhere around my knees in fear of what she would say.

"Olivia, I'm going to step outside to speak with Edward for just a moment, okay?"

I knew that much of Bella's resistance to letting me into their lives was the fear of Olivia getting hurt.

Would she tell me she didn't think this small step into her world was such a good idea after all?

* * *

**Thank you all once again...I will be out of town through sometime next week but will be posting chapters as I have been but since I know this ends on a bit of a cliffhanger I will post chapter 10 tomorrow instead of Friday. ****Please visit the thread at Twilighted to discuss or ask questions.**

**For more information on Cystic Fibrosis please visit www(.)cff(.)org**

**Until tomorrow...**

**xoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: As always I don't own it, but I love these characters. SM owns twilight so no copyright infringement is intended, just playing with them for a bit. **

**Thank you to my superawesome beta Jessica1971. Love ya bb! 3333 for all that you do, not just the prettying up of my words. ^_~**

**As promised and without further ado, here's the next installment...enjoy  
**

* * *

Chapter 10

BPOV

I couldn't have been more pleased or terrified with the fact that Edward actually came by to see Olivia just as he said he would.

Earlier in the day when my emotions were so close to the surface, I had believed him, but once things were a bit more settled and my head was clearer, it was much more difficult to keep that faith.

Actually seeing his handsome face on the other side of the open door had sent my heart into overdrive as it set a staccato pace inside my chest, leaving me breathless.

Watching Edward and Olivia interact was something that I had no words to describe, it was…..beautiful. I could feel the emotions surging in my chest as I listened to their easy banter.

Being able to deal with children and speak to them in a way that doesn't make them feel as though you're patronizing them is a skill not easily learned, yet Edward seemed to seamlessly segue into conversation about most all the topics Olivia was throwing at him with a practiced ease.

When Olivia made a comment about Emmett's less than believable ability in being someone's boss, the two of them thought I didn't see their exchange of knowing looks, but it had not escaped my notice and I was hard pressed to restrain my own giggles, almost drawing blood as I bit the inside of my cheek.

The pull I felt toward Edward was disorienting, and when I reached out to lay my hand on his arm a warm sensation spread from the point of contact throughout my entire body. I wanted to believe that he felt it too as he looked into my eyes before he stood, making his excuses to leave.

As Edward said his goodbyes and wished Olivia well, my darling little nymph asked a question that had both of us reeling with the implications and my heart sank.

"I'll be good as new in a few days. I have to be, I have a ballet recital in like….a month, I think. Are you gonna come?"

"I…uh, I'm not…I," he stammered and looked to me with an expression of utter terror on his face.

As he stuttered through a suitable response, I stepped in to let him off the hook. I didn't want him to feel like he was obligated simply because a nine year old little girl requested his attendance. This was one of the reasons I had feared letting Edward into our lives. Olivia was a far too loving and trusting child. Much like my mother, she accepted people at their word and allowed them into her heart more readily than I had ever been capable of doing.

"We'll have to see about that, Olivia. Edward's a very busy doctor, so he may not be able to come, okay?" I said, smiling at Olivia before turning to Edward.

I knew that the fear and uncertainty of the moment was reflected on my face. Unfortunately, that was something I _had_ inherited from my mother. She told me more times than I can count how my face was like an open book and my emotions were always just under the surface for everyone to see.

Watching Edward turn to leave the room, I felt an ache settle in my chest with the thought that when that door closed behind him, it could possibly be that last time I would ever see him.

I needed to know whether he was walking away for good. Things had changed between us. Something happened when he found me outside Olivia's pre-op room. I couldn't explain how or why, but I knew that I wanted Edward in our lives, but only if he wanted that as well. I wasn't sure what he was thinking at that very moment, only that it was obvious how unnerved Olivia's question had made him.

The time I spent with Esme earlier in the day, learning so much about Edward's family and his childhood, had only strengthened my original impression of the type of man I thought Edward to be.

It had made a difference in my feelings toward him. I could see that now.

The issue lie in the fact I had no idea what he was thinking; judging by the look on his face as he turned to leave, I wasn't exactly getting the warm fuzzies from the possibility that he wasn't as sanguine about being in our future as he had been earlier in the day.

I felt nauseous as I turned to Olivia, who had settled down into her pillow.

"Olivia, I'm going to step outside to speak with Edward for just a moment, okay?"

She nodded but her eyes were already closed and I knew she would be asleep in a matter of seconds. I tucked her blanket around her shoulders and bent to kiss her forehead before following Edward out into the hallway.

Pulling the door closed quietly, I took a deep breath before turning to face Edward.

He was running his hand through his hair furiously as I looked up at him with a white knuckled hold on the door knob behind me.

"Edward-"

"Bella-"

We spoke at the same time and laughed nervously.

Being the gentleman that I had already witnessed him to be, Edward gestured for me to go first. I could see the panic behind his eyes and it did nothing to quell the nausea boiling in my stomach. I felt the bile rise to the back of my throat and I swallowed thickly a few times before I was able to speak.

"Edward," I began, my voice was barely more than a whisper, my throat so tight I felt as though I were choking. "I….I'm sorry about that. I know that was really uncomfortable for you. Olivia…." I trailed off, swallowing the urge to throw up once more.

I didn't know how to tell him it was okay to walk away. I didn't want him to walk away, but knew I had no right to ask him not to.

"Olivia is quite the little charmer. She really does wear her heart on her sleeve and views the world through it. She doesn't understand that sometimes situations and circumstances are not so black and white. She's a lot like her father, he was always so optimistic about life…..about everything." I murmured, feeling my heart pounding behind my ribs.

"Please….." I shook my head to clear the sudden fuzziness in my brain. "Please don't feel obligated in any way to make a promise of something you're not willing to keep. If you've changed your mind….if you don't think you can do this," I whispered, gesturing with my head in the direction of Olivia's door. "I understand, Edward. This….this isn't something that a man takes on lightly. I just don't want you to feel like you've said things and that you now owe me some form of an obligation."

My lids fluttered closed of their own accord, fighting against the tears I could feel burning at the back of my eyes.

It had been such an incredibly long day - an overwhelmingly emotional day that had come at me from all sides. I felt completely drained and weakened by it all.

But as the moments drug by and he remained silent in that hallway, my heart knew that his decision would not be the one it had hoped for.

I sucked in a breath as his strong fingers gripped my chin gently and tilted my face up to his. My eyes widened as he was standing much closer to me than I realized and I could actually feel the heat from his body radiate into mine.

"Bella," he said, his voice rough with the emotion I could see plainly on his face. "I already told you I'm not going anywhere."

His hand slipped from my chin over my jaw to wrap around my neck, his thumb lightly ghosting over the pulsing vein at my throat.

"I'm not walking away from you or the beautiful, adorably precocious child behind that door." He bent, pressing his warm full lips to my forehead and I felt my eyes flutter closed as a stray tear slipped down my cheek.

"I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to, okay?" he said as he pulled away, looking into my eyes and framing my face between his palms.

I looked up at him for a long moment before nodding my head slightly and whispering a rather squeaky 'okay'.

Wrapping an arm around my waist, he pulled me into an embrace as his large hand cupped the back of my head, threading those long fingers into my hair and pressing my cheek to his chest. I wrapped my arms around his middle, fisting my hands in the back of his shirt and holding on tightly.

I could feel the beating of his heart beneath my cheek and noticed that his heart matched the same nervous pounding as mine.

My eyes closed slowly as I felt him drop a kiss to the top of my head. He whispered something into my hair that I wasn't able to hear, but his arms tightened and I reveled in the feel of his strong arms around me.

I took a deep breath, feeling my body relax as I melted further into his embrace, and noticed that he smelled amazing. I didn't recognize the cologne but whatever it was, I liked it.

"I guess I better go," he whispered. "You need to get some sleep and I have an early morning tomorrow. Unfortunately, I also have a feeling my mother is waiting up for me."

I leaned back in his arms to look up into his smiling face. Relaxing my hold on his shirt, I wiped at my cheeks with the back of one hand as his hands slipped around to rest comfortably on my hips.

"Your mom is a hoot," I laughed, snaking my arm back around his waist and linking my fingers behind his back as I shook my head at the memory of my morning with Esme Cullen.

"Yeah, that's one way to describe her," he scoffed. "She certainly seemed to take to you. Honestly, Bella, my mother has never reacted that way to anyone I've ever introduced her to."

I laughed, raising an eyebrow in question, "So, there've been a lot, huh?"

"Uh…no, I, uh, that's not what I meant. I," he stuttered, his brow furrowing and his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

"I'm only teasing, Edward," I snickered as I buried my face in his chest. "Honestly, I don't want to know one way or the other."

I felt the rumble of a chuckle through his chest before looking up at him once again to see him scowling at me playfully.

"There haven't been," he whispered.

"Huh?" I said, quirking an eyebrow in question.

"Women, I mean," he explained. "I've never really dated a great deal, Bella, and there were even less that I ever introduced to my family. I've never felt…" He stopped himself and closed his eyes, swallowing thickly.

"I never dated very much, either," I said, placing a hand on the center of his chest.

I could feel his heart beat under my palm, it was beating almost as hard as mine, and for some reason it calmed me to know that whatever this was going on between us was affecting him in much the same way it was me.

"What are we doing, Edward?" I whispered. "I….this, I don't understand why this," I gestured to the way we were holding one another, "why does this feel so natural? I hardly know you, though I know you a lot better after spending the morning with your mom."

We both laughed at the reference to Esme's candor. The smile began to slip from my face and I looked into his intense green eyes. I lifted my hand from his chest to cup his cheek. Edward leaned into my touch as his eyes fluttered closed and he took a long deep breath.

"But I don't really know you…..why does it feel as if I've known you for so much longer? How is it that I feel this comfortable around you already?"

Edward opened his eyes and stared into mine for a long moment before finally answering.

"I can't really explain it either, Bella," he murmured. "But you have to know that I feel exactly the same way. I don't understand it, but…..I don't want to fight it, either. I would really like to see where this, whatever this is, will take us, because I have a feeling that it could be something special."

My hand slipped from Edward's cheek to rest on his chest once again and he leaned his forehead against mine before holding my face between his hands.

"Can we do that, Bella? Just let whatever this is progress slowly and see where it takes us?" he asked, his voice low and rough with what seemed to be the same emotions rushing through my system like a live wire.

Taking a deep breath and blowing it out slowly, I nodded with a whispered 'yes'. Edward pressed a kiss to my forehead and my eyes closed of their own accord as his warm full lips met my skin.

"I need to get back in to Olivia," I whispered.

"Yeah, you do, and I need to get home," he said, then chuckled with a wry smile spreading across his face.

"What?"

"I just thought about the fact that my mom is probably about to come out of her skin waiting for me to get home so she can regale me with all that she thought about a certain brown eyed woman that she met today."

I dropped my forehead to his chest and giggled. Edward snaked his arms around my waist, pulling me into a tight hug before dropping a kiss to the top of my head.

"Do you think it would be okay if I come by tomorrow to see you guys again?" he asked quietly.

"I think we would both like that, Edward. After the procedure she usually has a really sore throat for a couple of days, but honestly she feels relatively good after the anesthesia wears off completely. That's one reason she was pretty with-it when you came in," I said, stepping out of his arms.

I shivered at the loss of contact as my body instantly felt chilled. He must have noticed because he reached out to rub over my upper arms.

"Okay….I don't know what time because I have a few rounds to do…."

"It's fine, Edward," I said, smiling. "Not like we're really going anywhere for a while."

He hummed a response and returned my smile.

"I'll see you tomorrow, then," he said.

"See you tomorrow…..goodnight, Edward," I said, taking a step closer to the door and feeling for the door knob behind me.

"Goodnight, Bella," he said.

I opened the door and stepped in before he turned to leave. Unable to stop myself, I poked my head around the doorjamb and watched his retreating form as he rounded the corner at the end of the hall, running his hand through his hair. I giggled when he turned just as he reached the corner to look back to where I stood watching him. My eyes widened and I sucked in a breath when he winked at me. I could hear his husky chuckle as he disappeared down the hall.

I pushed the door closed as quietly as possible so I wouldn't wake Olivia. I jumped as her voice called out to me.

"You like him, don't you, Mom?"

I turned to see Olivia lying on her side staring at me wide eyed.

"I thought you were going to sleep. What are you doing still awake?" I asked, crossing quickly to the bed and tucking the blankets around her shoulders again in an attempt to avoid her question altogether.

I should have known that wouldn't work with my kid; she's always been way too perceptive for her own good.

"Mom," she said, looking up at me while snuggled in her favorite pillow from her own bed at home. "I like him, too. He seems really cool and he's read all the Harry Potter books, so ya know," she shrugged.

I laughed lightly at her logic.

"Yeah, I think he just might be a nice guy," I said, rounding the end of her bed to stretch out next to her on the bed.

The thoughts about everything that happened throughout the day rushed through my mind on and endless loop of images.

"Olivia," I said softly, as she snuggled into my arms. "Would it be okay with you if I did like Edward?

She was quiet for a long while before she scooted away, rolling onto her back as a sleepy smile spread across her face and she nodded.

"Yeah, mom, I think that would be cool."

I smiled at Olivia as she blinked at me, her eyes becoming heavy with sleep.

"Go to sleep, sweet girl," I whispered, kissing her forehead.

I lay awake for a long time after Olivia drifted off to sleep. It seemed that with all the craziness of the day, my mind just couldn't shut down. I rolled off the bed, careful not to wake Olivia, and made my way to the closet to pull out one of the novels I brought with me to pass the time.

Settling down on the faux leather, I threw a blanket over my folded legs and stared at the pages of the book, unable to see the words as images of Edward's face as he turned back and winked at me from the end of the hall flashed before my eyes.

I could feel the smile spread across my face and couldn't stop the tiny giggle that bubbled in my chest. I couldn't make sense of all the feelings I had for Edward, but for some reason I was okay with that.

Placing the book on the tiny bedside table between the sofa and the bed, I snuggled down, pulling the blanket up higher on my shoulders. As sleep finally began to overtake me, I prayed that I was making the right choice by letting Edward into our lives.

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**Thank you all once again for the love and support of this story. Please visit the thread at Twilighted for discussion or to pose questions about the story. I do want to send out a thank you to RCD-Alice (fic-pusher from Twitter) for rec'ing this story on your blog and on Twitter. I truly, truly appreciate that so much! And to any of you who are rec'ing NYN to your friends and fellow fans thank you! Thank you Babette12 for letting me know FF dropped the CF web address in the last chapter.  
**

**Please visit www(.)cff(.)org for more information of Cystic Fibrosis. **

**As you know I'm out of town until later next week but I will be posting the next chapter on Monday. Until then...**

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I don't own it, the marvelous SM does. I'm just playing with the characters.**

**I can't say it enough and it's incredibly inadequate to say a simple thank you, but it's all I have to give to my Master Yoda, Jessica1971. Thank you my dear for more than just making my words prettier. **

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Chapter 11

Beginning of something special...

BPOV

The next few days flew by in a blur of scheduled visits with physical therapy, respiratory therapy, doses of antibiotics, and Olivia attending 'school'.

Because of Olivia's condition, the school system had a hospital/homebound notice on her record for the times when she's admitted to the hospital. It saved issues with unexcused absences and also allowed her to not fall behind in her schoolwork when she was unable to attend for whatever reason might present itself.

By keeping in almost constant contact with Mrs. Denali, Olivia's teacher, when there's an admission, she simply faxes any work for the week to the school located inside the hospital. So far it's worked well. The only issues have been when Olivia hasn't felt up to attending, which usually is the case the first couple of days after she's admitted.

Thankfully, the last couple of days she had finally made the turn and had felt much better, well enough in fact that if her PFT's continued to show the same amount of improvement they had so far, Dr. Mitchell assured me we would be discharged within another day or two.

Though we would continue the IV therapy for at least one or two more weeks at home, it would be much better to be in our own beds than spending another hour cooped up in the hospital, regardless of the amenities they offered.

Esme had come by for a visit just before she returned to Washington. I was struck again with how easy it was to be enveloped in her warmth and how natural it felt to spend time with not only her but with Edward.

Olivia had enjoyed being the center of attention while Esme doted on her. Esme had found out about Olivia's love of Justin Beiber and brought her a wall poster, the latest CD – which I had not broken down to buy her yet – and a gift card for iTunes along with a copy of the _Alice in Wonderland_ movie.

Edward had visited every day since his first meeting with Olivia. He always brought some little something for Olivia with each visit, whether it was just a new drawing pad or a milkshake from the cafeteria, he never came empty handed. Evidently it was a family trait to always come bearing gifts.

When he discovered I had a pretty unhealthy addiction to coffee, he started bringing me a steaming cup from the small kiosk he frequented inside the gift shop before he began rounds each morning.

I had my suspicions that Olivia had a hand in his figuring out I liked both cream and sugar, not black as he took his, but neither one would admit to the conspiracy.

Feeling restless and little more than a bit stir crazy after the better part of a week in the hospital, Olivia was feeling well enough to want to venture to the _Game Zone. _

Being that it was a Saturday and she didn't have school to attend, we timed our visit just after she finished her last IV infusion for the morning; we had a good five hours before any other treatments were due.

When admitted like Olivia had been for what Dr. Mitchell termed 'a tune up', the hospital sets up a schedule of treatments and coordinates the different therapies that Olivia had to endure throughout a single day to coincide with one another as much as possible and give a time to rest between. That 'in between' break in therapy is when she decided that it was time to get out of her room for something besides school or some medical thing she had to do.

"Come on, Mom," she said impatiently, standing by the door, her mask already in place.

"Impatient much," I grumbled under my breath as I finished tying my shoe. "I'm tying my shoes, sweetie, give me a second."

I smiled as I crossed to where she stood and opened the door, which she promptly scooted through into the hallway.

"Ready?"

She nodded her head, her eyes shining as I hadn't seen them in several days; even though most of her face was covered with the surgical mask, I could tell she wore a wide smile.

Olivia's pale coloring usually glowed and was one of the first indications of when she was not feeling well. The dark discoloration which had been present under her eyes had lightened significantly over the last few days as the medications did their job.

The sparkle in Olivia's beautiful brown eyes had also begun to return and that was most encouraging, as well as the fact that her appetite had returned with a vengeance.

"Can we stop by that smoothie place on the way back? I want one of those cotton candy smoothies."

She turned to look pleadingly at me with those big brown eyes. Even over the top of the ridiculous surgical mask, she knew that look melted my heart.

I rolled my eyes theatrically and looped my arm over her shoulders, "When exactly have I ever said no to a cotton candy smoothie, hm?"

She giggled, "Never."

"Yeah, if you're up to it on the way back we'll stop by there," I said, laughing.

We made our way down to the ground floor and into the _Game Zone_. The area was an enormous open room sectioned off into designated areas for whatever activity was stationed there.

In one area there was a large bookcase lined with stacked board games and tables where the participants could set up for play. All along the center of the room, the support beams had been surrounded with built in cabinets to hold flat screen TV's and Wii game systems.

To the right of the entrance, a glassed in area held quite possibly the largest flat screen LCD television I had ever seen. That area was where the activities department had movie nights for the different age groups. The previous evening they held a teen only event, serving refreshments and showing the latest Zac Efron movie.

There was also an area with computers set up for parents as well as patients. It gave those who did not have a laptop (which they could connect with the hospitals wireless network from their room) a chance to have internet access.

No matter how many times I found myself with Olivia in the hospital, the difference between a children's hospital and ones for adults always struck me. The Herculean effort put forth in an attempt to help children who would otherwise miss out on so much of what's deemed 'normal' in life took special people. They were all a Godsend to those of us living with the spoils of their work.

Olivia made a bee line for an open game system toward the back of the room as soon as we entered.

At home, it had become an ongoing thing since Emmett and Rosalie began dating that he and Olivia were in a rivalry over who was the best pool player in the household. So far, Olivia was up by two games and it wasn't setting well with Emmett that he was having his backside handed to him by a nine year old.

It was actually quite hilarious to watch the two of them playing. The first few times they went head to head, Rose and I had sat back watching as it was obvious that Emmett was letting Olivia win. Although I had warned him not to do so, he didn't listen and soon found out just how good my girl was at nine ball.

So of course when she had the opportunity to practice without the interference of Emmett, she made the most of it, much to my chagrin. I can't say that it didn't worry me, her penchant for running a good hustle as she had on Emmett in the beginning. The little pool shark hiding behind that innocent face was the perfect cover up and was quite the shock when it was discovered by her victim.

I laughed as she sank several balls including the target at one time, wiping me for the third time in a row. I could see a slight slope in her shoulders and knew that she was beginning to tire out. Olivia was always good at knowing when she needed to rest, but she was still a child and the desire to continue to play even past the point when she should stop was something that broke my heart to witness.

I tried my best to guide those confrontations in a way that didn't draw any further attention to the fact that she wasn't well more than need be, but it wasn't always an easy thing to do.

"Alright, chickie," I laughed. "I think I've had enough of your pool playing abilities for one day. Wha'cha think about heading up to get one of those smoothies and then maybe watching a movie, huh?"

Olivia looked up at me with a torn expression in her eyes. I could plainly see the struggle she was waging with herself - knowing as well as I did that she needed to rest, but wanting so badly to stay a little longer. It was a difficult thing to witness.

It nearly broke my heart as she reached her decision. Nodding her head, she shut the game system down and replaced the controller in its holder.

We made our way back to the first floor where the smoothie kiosk was located.

I handed Olivia her smoothie before reaching for the cash I had hastily stuffed in my pocket as we left the room earlier.

"Here ya go," the voice came from over my shoulder, startling me.

I turned to see Edward standing just a few inches from me with his arm outstretched, handing a bill to the young girl behind the counter.

"What are you doing?" I asked, unable to stop the smile from spreading on my face as I looked up at him.

"I'm giving this young lady some money for Olivia's smoothie," he said in a 'duh' tone of voice, quirking an eyebrow with a smirk pulling the corner of his mouth up.

"Hi, Olivia," Edward said, looking down at my daughter with a bright smile.

"Hi, Edward," she giggled.

I turned to look at her. "Did you see him there?"

Olivia giggled again and nodded her head enthusiastically.

"You stinker," I whispered. "You could have warned me."

"It was funnier not to," she snickered.

"Hmpf," I scoffed, wrinkling my nose at her, causing her to giggle louder.

"Edward," I said, turning back to him as he took the change from the gawking young girl. "You didn't have to pay for that."

"I know," he said matter-of-factly. "I wanted to."

"Olivia, what do you say to Edward?" I prompted, shaking my head, but could still feel the smile on my face.

"Oh, yeah….thank you," she said, glancing up quickly at Edward with a smile before dropping her gaze back to the cup in her hands.

I could see the wheels turning in her mind as she tried to reason out the best way to attempt drinking the smoothie while still wearing the mask at the same time. Her brows furrowed in concentration as I took her hand and we started toward the elevators.

"Well….thank you, but you should let me pay you back," I insisted.

"Nope," he shook his head and turned his attention to Olivia. "So how's the princess today? Feeling better, I hope."

"Yep, lots," Olivia said, continuing to look at her cup.

"Olivia, you can't drink it until we get to the room," I said, causing her frown to deepen and her lips to tighten into a tight line.

Edward chuckled and I turned to look up at him, rolling my eyes with a quiet chuckle of my own, hearing Olivia grumbling under her breath about wearing 'the stupid mask…..needs a hole in it so I can drink this thing…..' I had to bite my lip to quiet the urge to laugh out loud.

"I thought you were off today. You don't look like you're working," I said as we reached the elevators. "Did you get called in or something?"

"Well, uh…" he dropped his head and shot me a sideways glance with a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his neck. "I was just hoping to come and hang out with you guys for a little while."

I felt my eyes widen and I blinked at him a few times as the elevator signaled its arrival.

"I hope that was okay?" he said suddenly, looking uncomfortable with the shot of awkward silence that had followed his admission of the reasons he was in the hospital on his day off.

"Oh, I'm sorry….of course, Edward," I said, reaching out to place a hand on his forearm. "I'm glad you came by, I didn't mean it that way. It was just a surprise, a very nice surprise, but a surprise all the same."

"Wanna watch Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone with us?" Olivia piped in, looking up to Edward hopefully.

Edward looked at me for a moment longer before smiling at Olivia and agreeing that watching Harry Potter sounded like a great idea to him. This, of course, pleased Olivia to no end. Though I loved the whole Harry Potter saga - books and movies - there were only so many times you could watch the things before they became nothing more than noise. I was pretty secure in my abilities to recite each and every one verbatim from beginning to end.

The rest of the afternoon was spent watching movies in Olivia's room. Edward asked Olivia question after question about the movie and the two of them carried on quite a lively discussion about the difference between the books and the movie adaptation.

Their only interruptions were when the respiratory therapists' visited for chest percussion and nebulizer treatments, followed shortly by the nurse hanging Olivia's afternoon dose of antibiotics,

When Olivia's nurse came in, the surprised look on Janet's face didn't escape my notice as she saw Edward sitting in the rocking chair pulled around to face the television on the wall and as close as possible to the head of Olivia's bed. Her eyes darted in my direction before skittering back to Edward and then to the medication pump where she set to work, quickly hooking up Olivia's medication and smiling before asking if we needed anything.

She quickly left the room and I had a sinking suspicion that she was making a bee-line for the nurse's desk with news about the hot orthopedic surgeon hanging out in my daughter's room. Even though Edward had been by several times over the last few days, I realized he had been on duty during each of those visits and dressed in scrubs. I had a feeling the assumption may have been made that it was on a professional basis that he was seen leaving or entering Olivia's room.

Obviously he was not on duty today as he was dressed in worn jeans, a grey Ed Hardy polo, and black Doc Marten boots, giving away the fact his presence was not in any way a professional visit.

I chuckled to myself at the thought of the rumor mill that circulated through a hospital, big or small. I remembered all too well the way they worked from my days on the floor before Olivia was born. I could only imagine how there were probably going to be some crushed hearts now that one of the eligible doc's on staff was involved with someone.

That thought brought me up short and I sucked in a sudden sharp breath, my eyes widening as the realization hit me square in the chest.

Edward turned to look at me with a concerned look on his face.

Is that what this was? Were we involved? Was this really the beginnings of a relationship?

I knew I felt something very strongly for Edward. Though I certainly didn't understand it, it was there all the same.

"Bella?"

I turned to meet his concerned gaze, my mouth agape at the thoughts running through my mind at that moment.

"Bella, are you okay?" he asked, concern lacing his voice as he turned to look at me fully.

Thankfully, Olivia was engrossed in the movie and wasn't paying any attention to either of us at the moment.

"What's the matter?" he asked a bit more insistently, turning in his chair to lean toward me when I didn't answer him and only continued to stare at him with a dumbfounded look on my face.

I knew that we had talked about that very subject the night after Olivia's procedure and Edward had made it clear he wanted to see where things would go, but did that mean we were actually…. dating?

He hadn't asked me out officially; obviously that would have been a silly thing to do under the current circumstances, and yet he had spent a large amount of time with me and Olivia over the last several days.

My mind was spinning with the implications of the realization I had made in those few moments.

"I…did you see the look on Janet's face when she saw you here?" I asked incredulously, my voice low so as not to bring Olivia's attention back to our presence.

Edward's brow furrowed in confusion as he thought about what I said.

"Janet," I said again, eyes widening in exasperation. "Olivia's nurse."

"Oh," he said, running a hand through his hair, continuing to look at me in confusion. "Uh…yeah, I guess. I didn't really pay that much attention really, outside of saying 'hi'."

He looked at me as though I had sprouted a third eyeball as he continued.

"I don't know her really, but I'm pretty sure she recently started going out with Dr. Callahan. He's one of the guys on my team. Bella, why are you asking me about her?"

"I don't know," I shook my head. "It just seemed she knew you and was surprised to see you here. I….I guess I was thinking about the fact that there's probably a lot of the nurses here that have been…well, that are interested in you, and that…that they may think that we're involved since you're here on your day off …." I trailed off because the more I talked, the more uncomfortable I became with what I was saying, and I felt incredibly ridiculous suddenly.

"Oh….um, Bella, are you wondering if I've dated any of the nurses here?"

"No!" I pulled my lip between my teeth as I looked up to see Olivia turn to give me a weird look. She quirked a brow at my outburst before turning back to the television, promptly disregarding us altogether.

"No," I continued more quietly, looking back at Edward. "It's not that…not really. I….it just hit me that you've been coming by to see us a lot this week and that, well….I was thinking about how it's….I know you said you wanted to see where this goes, but I….I guess until just now I didn't think about this. Well, it's like we're….I don't know, it feels like the beginning of a relationship between...us."

Edward stared at me for a long moment before he reached out to run the pad of his middle finger gently from my temple to my jaw as he followed the trail of his finger with his eyes. He tucked a stray hair behind my ear and leaned in closely to whisper, "Is that what you want, Bella? To be in a relationship with me?"

I gasped, feeling suddenly breathless at the way his warm breath fanned over the side of my face and neck, making my heart flutter in my chest. He continued speaking so close that I could actually feel the smile on his lips as they brushed the shell of my ear.

"Because I have to be honest with you, that's exactly what I want, but I won't ask for anything more than you're ready for." I sighed, feeling my body ignite in ways it hadn't in many years as he pressed a gentle kiss to the soft area just behind my ear and spoke softly. "I'm a very patient man, Bella, but you should know that my intentions are to absolutely pursue a _very_ involved relationship with you."

_Oh. My. God….. _

I couldn't breathe. I don't believe I would have been able to remember my own name if asked at that moment. Edward slowly grazed his lips over the curve of my jaw, the slight scruff on his face scraping my cheek as he pulled away, settling back in the rocking chair.

I don't know where _that_ Edward came from, but I have to admit he was welcome to come out to play anytime he wished. I would not complain….at all.

It was several moments before I was able to regain control of my breathing. I looked over to find Edward engrossed in yet another discussion with Olivia about a certain scene in the movie that obviously was different than what was in whichever book it was that they were watching at the moment. I had lost count long ago on which one it was exactly, and after the little stunt Edward had just pulled on me, my brain felt much more like a scrambled egg than a solid form inside my skull.

Edward stayed with Olivia and me for another hour or so before leaving regretfully with a promise to come by sometime the following day, stating he had administrative meetings during the bulk of the morning and a surgery scheduled in the afternoon.

He dropped a kiss to the top of my head and tickled Olivia's feet as he made his way out the door. Just before pulling the door closed behind him, he turned to lock eyes with me, a crooked smile on his face and a fire burning in his gaze. My breath hitched when he winked, then he was gone.

The next few days passed with the same scheduled pace as the previous days. Thankfully by Tuesday of the week after Olivia was admitted, her PFT's had improved to what was considered her 'normal' levels and Dr. Mitchell decided that she would be okay to continue the IV antibiotic therapy at home.

After the interminable process of coordinating with the home health agency, the insurance company, and the specialty pharmacy to ensure that Olivia's medications were couriered to our house within the correct time frame after her discharge, we were finally on our way home.

The antibiotics would be brought to the home by courier, and for at least the next seven days, Rosalie or I would be responsible for keeping Olivia on the same around the clock schedule for her IV doses as she had been on while in the hospital.

Thank God for Rosalie and the fact that we were able to switch out the night time routine. Those three and four a.m. dosages were murder when you were the only one getting up to do them, because you really couldn't go back to sleep until both medications were administered.

Each medication had to be connected and started at prescribed intervals with a thirty minute window between, so by the time you ran the first one, disconnected, waited the thirty minutes, and then reconnected the next medications dose, you really couldn't sleep during that time. It's not so bad during the day, but at night it's like having an infant all over again, but way less enjoyable.

Rosalie had taken all of Olivia's gifts, our laundry, and the larger luggage home the previous night as she left the hospital after her shift. We were pretty sure that Olivia would be going home, so it made things so much easier to pack up when the time actually came.

Once I had Olivia packed in the car along with the small piece of remaining luggage and her percussion vest, I sent out a mass text to everyone letting them know we were finally on our way home.

I truly couldn't wait to finally sleep in my own bed again and I knew without a doubt that Olivia was feeling the same way.

"Ready to get home, baby girl?" I asked, smiling at my daughter as she settled in the passenger seat.

Olivia returned my smile and nodded, "Yep. I'm hungry."

I laughed and pulled out a bag of trail mix that had been part of one of the gift baskets sent by Mike's parents. Since they weren't due back home for a few more days, they had sent a few different gift baskets and a cluster of balloons with a teddy bear during the time of her hospital stay. I handed the bag to Olivia and she took it with an emphatic thanks.

I smiled, pulling out of the parking lot and catching a glimpse of Olivia in my peripheral vision as she dug through the bag of trail mix in her lap for the specific pieces of dried fruit and nuts that she liked the most.

I sent out a silent prayer, overwhelmingly thankful that at the end of the day I was blessed with the beautiful child who sat in the seat beside me lost in her own little world.

* * *

**My dear friend Cullen312 brought it to my attention that Need You Now has been nominated for Best New Story at the Sparkle Awards. To which ever of you wonderful people who nominated the story I am greatly appreciative and humbled by this, thank you! **

**You can find the list of nominees at the following web link **http:/shimmerawards(.)webs(.) com/nominees(.) htm

**To all of you who have read, reviewed and rec'd this story thank you from the very bottom of my heart. I'm sorry that I don't get a chance to answer all your questions or respond to the reviews and I know many of you mention in your reviews that you don't mind but I want to let you all know how much I appreciate you as readers. I really do. Thank you!**

**Please visit the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation for further information on Cystic Fibrosis www(.)cff(.)org **

**I'll be posting the next chapter on Wednesday.**

**Until then...**

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Still not mine, still playing with the wonderful SM's characters. Hope many of you were able to see Eclipse by now...I have tickets for Friday night. Can not wait! **

**To my wonderful superbeta, Master Yoda incarnate, Jessica1971, thank you! **

* * *

Chapter 12

Firsts...

BPOV

The days after Olivia was discharged were filled with a sensation of undiluted freedom, that life was different somehow. I had spoken with my supervisor the day Olivia was discharged. After explaining what would be required even though we were no longer in the hospital, she agreed I shouldn't return until the following week. I would actually be using the last of my vacation time to stay home, but I needed to continue to receive a pay check, so there was really no other course of action.

Olivia was well on her way back to normal, and though she was tethered to an infusion ball every few hours, it was obvious she was just glad to be home.

I couldn't have agreed with her more.

The medications that Olivia had been receiving in the hospital were continued at home, only instead of having to push around the IV pole and infusion pump the doses were contained in small plastic balls. Once the line was connected to Olivia's PICC and the clamp opened, the ball was under pressure and would administer the infusion over the prescribed amount of time. Honestly, those little buggers may just have been one of the greatest medical inventions of all time, in my opinion at least.

The first night after we arrived home, I think I may have slipped into some form of a coma once I was able to shower and lie down in my own bed for the first time in a week.

I had only recently replaced the mattress and box spring which Mike and I had purchased not long after we married. Deciding that I would pamper myself, I went with the top of the line and now when I snuggled into bed at night, I felt as though I was floating on a cloud. It was truly heaven.

That's where I found myself as Olivia snuggled under the covers and into my arms the morning of her follow up visit with Dr. Mitchell the week after her discharge.

"Morning, sweet pea," I said, groggy and heavy with sleep. I rested my head on the pillow behind her and kissed the top of her blonde curls.

"Good morning, Mom," she sighed, burrowing deeper into the down comforter.

Even though it was already a balmy seventy-five degrees outside at nine o'clock - the Georgia heat is a killer even in April at times - the house was as cool as a tomb. Rosalie insisted the thermostat be kept on sixty-eight year round and had a conniption if anyone moved it a degree.

"What time do we have to be at the doctor's office?" she asked, her tiny fairy voice muffled by the pillow.

"Mmm…." I groaned, rolling to my back, stretching my arms over my head and pointing my toes. "Ah…we have to be there at eleven." I lifted my head just enough to glance at the clock and double check the time.

"I guess I need to get up and find us some breakfast," I said, reaching over and lightly tickling Olivia's side.

"Stop," she giggled. "Rose is already up. She said she was off today so she thought we would like to have her special raspberry French toast. It's my favorite."

"Your favorite!" I said, feigning hurt and throwing my arm over my eyes to cover them. "I thought my famous blueberry pancakes were your favorite. Whatever shall I do from the shame of it all?" I sighed dramatically as Olivia rolled in laughter on the bed beside me.

"Mom, you're so silly," she said through her giggles.

I smiled at her from under my arm before we rolled out of bed.

After brushing our teeth and a quick realigning of Olivia's ponytail, we padded our way toward the kitchen where I could now smell the delicious aroma of Rosalie's raspberry compote wafting down the hallway.

"Good morning, you two," Rosalie smiled up from her post over the griddle as she plated two huge pieces of French toast and handed the plate to a glowing Olivia.

"The raspberry's are on the table, squirt. Help yourself," she said, turning to the fridge to grab the milk before crossing to the table where Olivia had perched in her chair.

I poured myself a cup of coffee, adding just the right amount of cream and sugar, and hummed contentedly as the warm liquid slid past my tongue.

"So, are the guys still coming over this afternoon?" Rosalie asked, replacing the milk in the fridge and returning to place another large slice of bread on the griddle.

I nodded as I took another long sip from my cup, "Yep, I talked with Edward late last night and he and Em should be here around six."

Rosalie had suggested several days prior that Emmett and Edward come over to spend time hanging out with us girls.

Edward and I had not been able to see each other at all over the last few days. He made the trip out to see Olivia the day after she was discharged, but with his schedule and the fact that he actually lived downtown, it wasn't exactly as convenient to see one another as it was during her stay in the hospital.

Mike and I had purchased the home in the suburbs as a way to have access to the amenities of downtown but not the hustle and bustle. Even though we were technically close to the city, it was still a good half hour drive from where Edward's apartment was located (without traffic), and there was really _never_ an instance where there wasn't Atlanta traffic. It didn't have the reputation of being one of the worst cities for commuters in the country for nothing.

The last couple of days had been more difficult than I wanted to truly admit to myself. Over the days since Edward and I had made our intentions to allow the things going on between us to play out known, I had grown accustomed to seeing his handsome face on a daily basis. Now that the daily visits weren't the case, I found that I missed him terribly.

That fact alone scared me quite a bit, but I had begun to accept that there was very little about Edward Cullen that didn't make me experience being terrified and feeling safer than I had ever felt in my life - simultaneously. To be perfectly honest, it was kind of disorienting.

Somehow the boys had wound up being off at the same time, the threads of fate that had to come together to make that happen boggled the mind, but none the less it happened and being that it was Friday, we had the majority of the weekend to spend time with them.

"Good. I didn't talk with Em last night. He was on ER call," she said, absently flipping the bread over to brown the opposite side, "and wound up in a surgery or something. I'll order the pizza about five then and I think Harry Potter and the half blood prince is on pay-per-view."

I stifled a groan and rolled my eyes behind my coffee cup. Rosalie's obsession with Harry Potter could almost rival Olivia's.

Rosalie shot me a sardonic look over her shoulder and continued without comment, "And the Star Trek movie's available, too. Emmett's a Trekkie, can you believe it?"

We all three snickered as thoughts of the bear of a man dressed as a Klingon danced through my mind.

"But it has that," Rosalie continued, "that guy…ah, I can't think of his name, but he's hot so it's not a complete bust."

I laughed, taking the offered plate of French toast, and made my way to the table, a sense of anticipation for the night ahead settling in my abdomen.

Olivia sat swinging her feet back and forth, bouncing them off the metal side of the table as we waited for the Nurse Practitioner to come in and remove the PICC line from her arm.

Dr. Mitchell had been extremely pleased with her PFT's; they had dipped a little from what they were when she was discharged from the hospital, but they were still within the norm for Olivia.

A soft knock preceded the entrance of Betty, the clinic Nurse Practitioner. She was basically my liaison within the clinic when there was a problem or something that I needed. A simple call put in to her and it was taken care of promptly.

"Hey, you two," she said, smiling as she crossed to place Olivia's chart on the counter. She paused to quickly skim over the notes before turning with a smile to look at Olivia.

"So, you ready to get rid of that thing?" she asked, gesturing to the PICC line dangling from the inside of Olivia's right arm.

Olivia nodded emphatically with a slight grimace as I'm sure the thought of what Betty was about to do crossed her mind.

I reached out to grasp her tiny hand in mine and looked into her wide brown eyes.

"It's not all that bad. Remember last time you said you didn't really feel anything at all," I reminded her, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

"Yep, it's more the thought than anything," Betty agreed as she rotated Olivia's arm so she could have a better view of the insertion site and examined the area.

She slowly removed the dressing that covered the PICC and held the line in place and Olivia winced, squeezing my fingers tightly, a tiny whimper escaping her lips as Betty reached a more tender area.

Once the dressing was removed, she inspected the area once again quickly, then grasping and giving a short 'ready', she gave a sharp yank on the line and removed it with very little fanfare.

Olivia's eyes widened impossibly further as she took in the expanse of the fourteen inches of tiny purple plastic tubing which had spanned the length of her upper arm to an upper chamber of her heart.

Betty quickly measured the tubing to ensure the measurement matched the notation of what had been inserted originally. Satisfied that the entire device had been successfully removed, she smiled up at me, stating that everything seemed to be in order.

Ten minutes later, we were back in the car and on our way home, thankful yet again to be out of the clinic and out of the vicinity of the place where we spent entirely too much of our lives, though I was thankful for the hospital and it's miracle work.

Once we arrived home, Olivia made her way to her room to rest for a while before Edward and Emmett arrived.

My cell phone rang just as I was falling into an exhausted pile of bone on the sofa. I smiled as I checked the ID.

"Hi, you," I answered.

"Hi yourself," he said, causing my smile to widen as Edward's voice came over the line, smooth and silken even through the airwaves. "How did the appointment go?"

I sighed and felt the warmth spread through my chest as I thought of how much it meant to me that Edward made a point of asking how Olivia was before we spoke of anything else. Granted, whatever this was between us had only been going on for barely two weeks, he asked without fail every time we talked.

Launching into the details of our visit and the fact that the PICC had been removed, for the next fourteen days Olivia would continue a high dose of oral antibiotics, but otherwise her medications returned to normal. Our next follow-up would be the regularly scheduled visit in a couple of months. It was basically the same spiel I had repeated to pretty much every other member of our family over the afternoon.

"That's great, Bella," he said. "I'm really glad she's feeling better. Um…so I wanted to ask you when not in earshot of the princess what you thought about taking a trip to a puppet show next week? The Center for Puppetry Arts is running a showing of _Charlotte's Web_ and I thought she might really enjoy it."

"Oh," I sighed. "Edward, I think she would love that, what day were you thinking of going? You don't have to be on call next weekend since you're off this weekend?"

"No, actually I don't," he said and I could hear the smile in his voice. "Not really sure how that worked out either, but I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth. So you think we could make the two o'clock showing Saturday?"

"Yeah, I think that would be great," I said, smiling at his thoughtfulness.

"Um…can I ask you something else?" he said, becoming suddenly very hesitant.

"Sure," I said, sitting up and switching the phone from one ear to the next, a tiny trickle of unease making my stomach twist with nerves at the change in his tone.

"I…well, I was also thinking that I haven't actually…." he paused and I could hear him taking a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. I could imagine him running his hand through his hair, pulling at the ends as he tried to get his words right. "I…Bella, I haven't taken you out on a proper date yet, and I wanted to see if you think it would be okay to go out to dinner tomorrow night, um…just the two of us."

I was stunned into silence at not only what he had said, but at the fact that he was right. We had been technically 'seeing' one another for the better part of two weeks, yet we had not gone out on an actual first date.

Edward seemed to mistake my silence as hesitance at agreeing with his suggestion of a real date and began retracting the offer.

"It's okay, Bella. I understand….Olivia's only just out of the hospital and I should have expected you wouldn't want to leave her with anyone yet. It's okay….maybe another-"

I cut him off before he could completely talk himself out of the idea altogether.

"Edward, stop. I was just taken off guard when I realized that you were right and that we haven't actually been on a real date yet," I laughed. "I wasn't going to tell you no. I was just surprised, that's all. Actually, Mike's parents just got back in town a few days ago from visiting their daughter in Charleston and Carole's already been begging for Olivia to come stay overnight. I can't see why it would hurt to let her do that tomorrow since the appointment went well today and the PICC line is out."

"Really?" His voice sounded both excited and apprehensive at the same time.

"Yes, really, silly man," I said, laughing lightly at his surprise. "How about I let you know for sure later when you guys come over for movies and pizza? I'll check with Carole and let you know then, okay?"

"I think that sounds great," he said, the smile returning to his voice.

We talked for a bit longer before saying our goodbyes, knowing we would be seeing one another in a few short hours.

I smiled despite myself as I ended the call; he was just so stinking cute in his thoughtfully awkward way. It still took me by surprise how someone who was an accomplished physician as Edward was, seeing patients on a daily basis and basically holding their futures in his hands as he did, could be so hesitant and unsure of himself when it came to personal matters.

Edward Cullen was quite the walking contradiction, but I had to admit I liked everything that I knew about him so far.

I quickly placed a call to Carole, explaining the situation, and she ensured me that she would be okay with Olivia spending the night. As she reminded me, she had been begging for just that opportunity to dote on her granddaughter. She was over the moon with excitement and was quick to let me know that she would watch her like a hawk. That was one thing I had no doubt about.

Ending the call with Carole, I felt the smile spread over my face as I thought about what the following night would bring.

I couldn't wait to let Edward in on the good news and sent him a quick text to let him know we could talk about the details when he got to my house in a few hours and laughed when his response came almost instantly.

Once I was sure that Olivia was okay snuggled in her bed taking a nap, I padded into my room and fell face first into the mountain of heaven with a very girly scream of excitement, which thankfully was muffled by the down comforter.

I felt the tiny flutter of butterflies in my stomach at the thought of having not only a night out with another adult, but that I would be spending that time with Edward. Another giggle bubbled up through my chest.

Edward and Emmett arrived within minutes of one another, exactly as they had promised at six on the nose. Emmett was carrying a six pack and a dimpled smile that I noticed was the only thing I had ever seen to cause Rosalie to blush. The woman was unflappable except when it came to the burly man who bent to kiss her cheek as he stepped into the kitchen.

Edward followed close behind Emmett with a bottle of wine and a single red Gerber daisy, which he promptly handed to a giggling Olivia and she hurried down the hall toward her room with the flower in a bud vase.

"Hi," I breathed as his free hand came to rest on my hip and he bent to kiss my cheek as I took the offered wine bottle.

"Hi," he whispered in my ear. "I missed you."

I sighed, placing a hand on his chest and leaning into him, his lips pressing into the sensitive area just behind my ear, setting a blaze that spread from the points of contact with his body through my extremities and settling in the pit of my stomach. My entire body tensed with a desire I had not experienced with such intensity in longer than I cared to remember.

We both jumped slightly when Olivia's voice rang through the room as she reentered. I looked up to see the pink coloring of Edward's cheeks and the tips of his ears as he ran a hand through his hair with a sheepish smile on his face as he met my eyes.

It was nice to see that he was maybe as affected by that short encounter as I was, and I smiled when I heard the low, deep rumble of his chuckle, which I have to admit I was becoming very, very fond of; it was a happy sound and I rather liked the thought that he was happy.

"Can we eat in the family room? Pleeeeaaasssee, mommy," Olivia begged, hands clasped under her chin with her bottom lip poked out in quite the pitiful pout.

"Yeah, please mommy," Emmett chimed in, affecting much the same look on his face.

Obviously the two had already been in cahoots to try to sway me to allow dinner to be eaten in the family room around the television, even breaking out the 'mommy' business, which Olivia had effectively dropped when she was seven, except in dire situations when she _really_ wanted something. Evidently this request constituted bringing out the big guns.

I laughed, shaking my head and telling them to go ahead. There really was no fighting against the two of them anyway. Separately they were hard to resist, but together they were downright lethal.

I watched as Emmett and Olivia high fived and scooted out of the room with the pizza boxes and soft drinks for Olivia, a beer tucked under Emmett's massive arm. A snickering Rosalie followed close behind with a large towel for Olivia to sit on so as not to spill any of her pizza or soft drink on the carpet.

It had been a great addition to our little family when Emmett and Rosalie met; he was amazing with Olivia from the moment they met. The thought brought a smile to my face as I realized it seemed that Edward just might be even more of a positive influence in our lives.

I felt his warm, strong arms slide around my waist, pulling me into him as I poured each of us a glass of the wine he had brought.

He rested his chin on my shoulder, whispering, "What's put such a beautiful smile on your face?"

The smile only widened as I finished pouring before setting the bottle down and turning in his arms to look up into the emerald green of his heavily lidded eyes.

"Honestly?"

He nodded as he continued to stare at me with an expression that made my body burn, a crooked smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

"I was thinking about how amazing Emmett is with Olivia," I reached up to cup his cheek with my palm, "and that I think you're even more so."

Edward's eyes widened as what I had said seemed to sink in, and a full on smile spread across his face, making my heart stutter before slamming into my ribs in a rapid fire pace. On any given day, Edward was stunningly handsome. But when he smiled, I mean really smiled, it was as if he did so with his whole face, and it was breathtaking.

"Do you really think…" his voice was rough as he trailed off and shook his head.

"Yes, Edward, I do. She likes you," I whispered, caressing his cheek with my thumb. "You've been absolutely wonderful with her so far and it's not just because of your profession. It's just….thank you for just being you."

It seemed as if time had stopped and no one else in the world existed but the two of us in that moment. The air around us seemed to crackle with electricity as we stood in my kitchen, his arms around my waist; my hand slid from his face to join the other resting in the center of his chest where I could feel his heart beating under my palm, the rhythm matching mine in a similar nervous flutter.

One of his hands slowly made the journey from my back, over my shoulder to wrap around my neck, threading his fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck. I watched as if the events were happening in slow motion when Edward began to slowly dip his head toward mine and he gently tilted my face toward his own.

Edward's nose grazed the side of mine gently as his lips almost, but not quite, touched mine; he released a stuttering breath against my skin as his lips finally touched mine in a sweet kiss. The tingle I felt the first time I heard his voice and had steadily become a full on burn of electricity which pulsed through my entire body when I was near him now felt as though I had touched a bolt of lightning fresh from the sky.

My arms snaked around his neck, my hands immediately finding the soft threads of his wild hair and pulling him closer to me as the kiss intensified.

I gasped and my mouth opened to him as his insistent but gentle tongue ghosted over my bottom lip. Though my eyes were closed, it didn't stop them from rolling to the back of my head as Edward entered my mouth, exploring tentatively at first and then more boldly as the kiss continued.

The arm still around my waist tightened, bringing me flush with his body, his fingers biting into the skin at my hip. I couldn't have stopped the satisfied moan that escaped me at the contact if I had tried – which I didn't – and the responding groan that rattled in Edward's chest did not discourage me in the least as I felt the evidence of just how much our kiss was affecting him press into my soft belly. Edward's fingers tightened in the hair at the back of my head, pressing me impossibly closer as his other hand snaked under the hem of my T-shirt, the feel of his fingertips on my overheated skin was almost more than I could stand and I whimpered as I tightened my own hold on him.

"Whoa, oh wow, sorry."

Emmett's voice boomed through the kitchen, startling Edward and I as we jumped apart like two teenagers caught making out by their parents.

Edward ran a hand through his hair; whether he was trying to calm the maelstrom of damage that my hands had done or just in his usual nervous tick, I wasn't sure. My hand shot to my mouth where my lips continued to tingle from the intensity of his kiss.

"I'm really sorry, guys," Emmett laughed. "But I'm glad I'm the one that walked in here and not the squirt. Olivia's wondering what's taking you two so long. She's really ready to watch the movie but wouldn't let us start it without Mr. Handsy over there."

I laughed nervously, feeling the burning in my cheeks that was as much from the kiss I had just experienced as it was from embarrassment.

Turning to pick up my glass of wine, I drained half of it and filled it again before sweeping out of the room without a word or looking at either Edward or Emmett.

"Damn, Edward, I'm sorry about that man." I heard Emmett stage whisper as I reached the doorway. "But if that was the first kiss, I don't want to walk in on you two in a couple of weeks."

I laughed as I heard the tell tale sounds of two overgrown boys play acting as men and the resounding thump of a fist meeting flesh.

* * *

**Thank you all again for reading, reviewing, fav'ing or alert this story and me on author alert. **

**Please check out the Shimmer Awards as Need You Now has been nominated for Best New Story. **http:/shimmerawards (.)webs(.)com/nominees(.)htm

**My dear friend Cullen312's story Embodiment is also nominated for Best Drama. If you haven't read Embodiment then you must go now, read it. It's simply amazing! **

**There was a question asked by a reader after the last chapter about the dairy intake of CF patients as Olivia, while in the hospital, was given several milkshake/smoothies. While I have answered this question in review response it's a rather lengthy explanation and I will be posting that answer on the thread for NYN on Twilighted soon.**

**Please visit The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation for information... www(.)cff(.)org**

**I will be posting the next chapter Friday.**

**Until then...**

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1  
**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: SM owns Twilight, I do not, just playing with the characters here. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**So I have to apologize profusely for not posting yesterday, I guess the excitement of getting to see Eclipse last night threw me. The movie was amazing! IMHO the best one yet. **

**To my Master Yoda, Jessica1971, thank you for yet again putting your magical Jedi touch on my words and making them better. MWAH! Couldn't do it without you!**

**On to the first date, I hope you enjoy...  
**

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Chapter 13

The yellow brick road...

BPOV

I put the car in park and turned to smile at Olivia. "Ready for your night with grandma and grandpa, baby?"

She nodded enthusiastically, already releasing the seatbelt from the clasp.

After talking with Carole the afternoon before, the decision was made that I would drop Olivia off at their home to spend the night. I had to admit to being somewhat nervous about leaving her overnight so soon after her most recent hospital visit. I knew Carole and Mike would watch over her almost as well as I would myself; if I didn't know that, I would have never been able to leave her for the night.

So I loaded up Olivia's percussion vest all her medications and carted them over to the home of my in-laws. Even though Mike had been gone for more than five years now, I still found it hard to think of his parents as anything other than my family, and thankfully they seemed to return the sentiment.

"Grandma!" Olivia squealed, jumping out of the car and running across the drive as Carole descended the front steps.

I smiled as Carole bent, opening her arms wide for Olivia to leap and wrap her arms around her neck. Olivia and Carole always had a very close relationship. After Mike died, it was as though she and Mike, Sr., needed Olivia even more to help them hold onto a little piece of their son. For that reason, I never regretted the decision to stay in Georgia.

Climbing out of my car, I rounded to open the trunk to remove Olivia's percussion vest and shouldered her overnight bag.

Finally catching up to a laughing Carole and a wildly chattering Olivia, I smiled in greeting, dragging the huge rolling case that contained Olivia's vest behind me.

"Hey, hon," Carole greeted, releasing Olivia long enough to give me a quick one arm hug. "You want to just put those in her room, sugar?"

I hugged her back, laughing as Olivia continued telling her grandmother all the things that she wanted to do while staying the night as Carole led her toward the back yard.

I dropped off her things and made my way out the back door toward where I could see Olivia and Carole standing beside the pool.

"Alright, sweetie," I said when I reached them, kneeling down in front of Olivia and grasping her arms gently. "You be good for grandma and grandpa, okay?"

"I will, mom, promise," she smiled, nodding emphatically and squirming in my hold, ready to get started with whatever adventures she could scheme her grandparents into allowing.

I laughed as Olivia began listing all the things that she had planned, including helping her grandpa in his workshop and maybe watching _Alice in Wonderland. _

"Okay, okay," I said, giggling at her enthusiasm. "I get it, you have fun. I'll see tomorrow. I love you."

"I love you, too, mom. Tell Edward I said hi," she said, smiling.

With a quick hug and a kiss on my cheek, she was off like a streak across the back yard toward Mike, Sr.'s workshop.

Mike, Sr., had just stepped outside the door and waved to me; even from where I stood I could see the smile that lit his face when he caught sight of Olivia running toward him.

"Thank you, Carole," I said, placing a hand on her arm as I turned to make my way back to my car.

"Bella," Carole said, grasping my wrist before I could get away.

Turning back, I was instantly concerned and confused by the expression on Carole's lovely face.

"Carole?" I said in question, unsettled by the reticence she was showing. Carole Newton was not a woman who hesitated in saying what was on her mind and she was rarely ever at a loss for words.

"I'm sorry," she said, tightening her grip on my wrist. "I just wanted you to know that I'm glad you're going out tonight. Sugar, Mike wouldn't have wanted you to be alone." There was a sad smile upon her face when she met my gaze and I tried to swallow the sudden lump in my throat.

"I know you were seeing that one young man for a bit, but…." she trailed off, releasing my wrist to make a dismissive gesture with her hand. "Bella, I know the last couple of weeks have been hard for you because of Olivia getting sick and all….but, hon, you look happy for the first time in a very long time.

"You go have fun tonight. That little girl…" she smiled at me then nodded toward the workshop.

I couldn't help but smile when I saw Mike, Sr., and Olivia in what looked to be a very deep discussion. The scene brought back the memory of a much younger Olivia and her father in much the same pose, and I felt a slight pricking of tears behind my eyes.

"She'll be just fine and so will you." Carole's voice brought me back to the present and I smiled, taking a deep breath and blowing it out slowly.

I nodded, whispering a fervent 'thank you' before hugging her once more.

Two hours later, I found myself standing in nothing but a bathrobe in front of my closet at a complete and utter loss.

"_It really doesn't matter what you wear, Bella…..You'll look beautiful in whatever you decide upon, Bella,_ he says….." I grumbled under my breath. "_Just dress comfortable_….well how in hell am I supposed to dress comfortably when I don't know where we're going?"

I continued to mumble to myself, barely controlling the rolling anger over the infernal man's complete inability to understand that without having at least some idea of what he had planned for our first official date, it was nearly impossible to find anything suitable.

"The very least he could have done was given me an idea of where we're going," I huffed, planting my fists on my hips and glaring at the clothes hanging benignly in my closet.

The room behind me looked much worse for wear, appearing as though a very strong hurricane had blown through at some time over the past half hour.

"ARGH!" I groaned in complete frustration, throwing my hands out to my sides as I stomped over to my bed and fell back into the pillows.

"What the….."

I lifted my head slightly to see Rosalie's head peek around the door.

"What in the world have you been doing in here?" she laughed, stepping fully into the room and surveying the damage.

"Ugh! I have no idea what to wear," I said, flopping back into my pillow, burying my hands in my still damp hair and huffing dramatically.

"Yeah, I can see that," Rosalie chuckled. "Well, first of all, where are you guys going for dinner?"

I sat bolt upright and glared at her. "I have no idea! That's the problem," I said, falling back upon the pillows once again. "He wouldn't give me any details, said he wanted it to be a surprise, that it didn't matter what I wore, I look beautiful in whatever I put on. Ugh, he's the most adorably frustrating man I have ever met. I mean really, this," I waved a hand at the direction of the pile of clothes lying at the foot of my bed, "is ridiculous, but it's impossible to get mad at him when he says things like that!"

Rosalie didn't reply; she only laughed a bit harder and I could hear her crossing the room. I assumed she was going to the closet. The sounds of her moving hangers and mumbling softly confirmed my assessment of her direction. What she was going to find inside was beyond me. Practically every article of clothing I owned lay on the floor, even things I would never wear on a date.

"Aha!"

I looked up as I heard Rosalie exclaim in triumph just before she emerged from the recesses of my closet with an outfit I had never seen before.

"Where'd you get that?" I asked stupidly. Obviously it came from my closet, but I didn't recognize it as something I had purchased.

Rosalie quirked an eyebrow at me, letting the obvious smart aleck comment go and instead holding up the silky sleeveless top in a bright shade of red along with an A-line white skirt with the same shade of poppies around the bottom and up to mid-thigh.

"I don't remember buying this," I said, crawling to the end of the bed and fingering the soft material.

"You didn't," she said. "I bought it a couple of weeks ago and hid it in the back of your closet….thought it might come in handy sometime. Guess I was right, huh?"

"Yeah," I snorted. "Guess you were."

"Alright, sexy," Rosalie said, shouldering her overnight bag and grabbing her keys. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do. I'm staying at Em's tonight just in case you guys want to come back here…." she trailed off, shooting me a wicked smile over her shoulder and winking as she stepped out the door.

I rolled my eyes and smoothed my hands over the imaginary wrinkles on the front of my skirt. The butterflies in my stomach had increasingly gotten worse over the last few minutes. I knew Edward would be arriving at any moment, and I felt almost like I couldn't breathe with the anticipation.

I jumped when the door bell rang, taking a deep breath and trying to quell a sudden wave of nausea before making my way to the front door.

I gasped when I opened the door to find Edward standing on the front porch, a shy tentative smile on his face which grew instantly wider when he saw me.

"Hi," I breathed as my gaze raked shamelessly over his body.

Taking in a similar pair of oxfords as the ones he wore the night he first met Olivia, only these looked much better for wear, I noted the delicious fit of the low slung, dark wash jeans and the black button down. He had the sleeves rolled to the elbow, exposing the sinew of his forearms. The top two buttons were opened and I could see a light spattering of chest hair peeking out teasingly.

"Hi," he murmured.

Suddenly closing the space between us, he whispered in my ear. "There aren't words….you're stunning."

The heat in my cheeks was an outward sign of the fire spreading through my body and I ducked my head, whispering a thank you. I felt breathless from his words, from the hand sitting on my hip, from the fingers gently kneading the muscle under them, from his very presence.

Placing a hand to the center of his chest to steady my suddenly wavering equilibrium, I looked up into his shining green eyes.

I gasped slightly at the intensity of his gaze as he stared at me. His lips parted slightly and he stepped closer, sliding both arms around my waist and pulling me flush with his body.

As if everything was moving in slow motion, I watched as he brought his lips to touch mine in a soft kiss.

Enjoying the feel of hard muscle beneath my fingertips as my hands slid over the plains of his chest, I pressed impossibly closer to him and his arms tightened around me. Threading my fingers into the soft curls at the nape of his neck, a tiny whimper escaped me as he sucked my bottom lip into his mouth, teeth lightly scraping the sensitive skin.

His hands seemed to be everywhere at once, softly caressing, touching, and yet not touching me enough; my body was burning so much that I was sure there would be nothing but ash left to be scattered by the wind when he let go.

"Oh, my," I sighed when he finally pulled back, breaking our kiss and pressing his forehead to mine.

His eyes were screwed shut as the corner of his lip twitched, and then finally the crooked smile that I was becoming quite fond of – much like the deep chuckle that often rumbled in his chest – spread over his face.

I clasped his face between my palms and his eyes opened slowly to look at me as he smiled. We stood looking at one another, foreheads pressed together, for a long moment.

"Are you ready?" he murmured, causing his lips to lightly brush over mine as he spoke.

I couldn't stop myself and tilted my face slightly to press my lips to his gently once more before nodding and whispering, "Yes."

Edward took a deep breath; his chest pressed against mine with the action, causing me to gasp softly at the contact. His eyes snapped to mine and I was taken aback by the obvious burning desire behind the flashing green depths. My heart flipped in my chest at the promise of just what that look meant, and judging by the few kisses we had shared so far, I wasn't exactly sure I was prepared for any of it. For all his awkward shyness at times, Edward was a very passionate man. I would have to be a fool to not come to that realization, even at this point in our relationship.

Releasing the breath he had been holding in that moment, Edward took a step back. He smiled down at me and waited for me to grab my clutch and lock the door behind us.

A short time later, we were speeding down the highway in Edward's car. Unable to stand another moment not knowing where we were going, I finally broke the silence.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?" I asked, hoping that the smile I had plastered on my face was convincing enough to get the information out of the frustrating man.

He had as of yet refused to share even a hint of what his plans for the evening entailed, and though we had been carrying on comfortable conversation about everything and nothing at all, I was becoming a bit perturbed at the notion of still being completely in the dark.

"Hmm…I don't know. I'm kind of enjoying the fact that at this moment," Edward chuckled darkly, glancing at me for only a second before returning his eyes to the road ahead, "you're completely at my disposal."

My brow furrowed in a deep scowl at that and I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest and turning to look out the window while I fought the smile that threatened to give away the fact that, though he was teasing, I kind of did like that I was, in fact, at his mercy.

I heard him snort and turned to glare, albeit not successfully, in his direction, which only made him laugh more.

"What are you laughing about, mister?" I asked, trying – and failing – to hold the façade of aggravation upon my face.

"You," he said, turning to meet my impotent fury. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you are when you _pretend _to be angry?"

My eyes widened at his words, my mouth falling open before snapping shut, and I smacked his shoulder with the back of my hand.

"Stop it," I snapped. "I can't be sufficiently indignant with you and all your secret keeping when you say stuff like that."

"_Sufficiently indignant, _huh?" he laughed. "Well, by all means continue with the indignation, milady, because I'm not telling you anything and we're almost there anyway."

"We are?" I asked, scanning the passing landscape, realizing I knew exactly where we were and where we were going. "Are we going to a concert?"

Edward glanced at me with a devilish grin, "Well….not a concert exactly."

I looked at Edward in confusion, trying to decipher what he meant by '_not a concert exactly_' when I knew for a fact the exit he had taken from the highway would take us directly to the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater, an open air concert venue that was only about a twenty minute drive from my house.

"What exactly are we going to then?" I asked, gesturing to the large sign for the amphitheater which was looming just ahead of the slowly moving traffic entering the venue.

Another chuckle from Edward and I saw him run a hand through his hair from the corner of my eye.

I turned to see him smiling crookedly before he cleared his throat and explained that after I texted to let him know Mike's parents could take Olivia for the night, he remembered that I mentioned during a conversation while in the hospital that one of my favorite movies as a little girl had been _The Wizard of Oz. _

"So…uh, after I got your message, I made a phone call to a friend of mine who holds season tickets for a table at all the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra events," he said, smiling at me as he found a parking spot and slipped smoothly into the space. "They're showing _The Wizard of Oz _tonight and the Orchestra will be playing the musical score live. There's a dinner served just before the show for the season ticket holders."

"Oh my God," I gasped, my eyes widening as I took in not only the details of our evening but that he had actually remembered such a small detail about a movie I mentioned in passing, and that he had done something so incredibly thoughtful.

I leaned across the console between us, intending to give him a quick kiss to thank him for being so sweet. But as soon as our lips touched, a spark of electricity shot down my spine. It was Edward's turn to gasp as my hands were instantly in his hair, pulling him to me and deepening the kiss. I licked along his bottom lip, pushing into his open mouth and caressing his eager tongue with my own.

Edward raised his hand to curl around my neck, his thumb grazing gently over the side of my throat, lightly flicking the lobe of my ear as our kiss intensified.

"Bella," Edward murmured against my lips as he pulled back ever so slightly, staring into my eyes and framing my face between his palms. "I'm going to take that as indication that you're not pretending to be mad at me anymore."

I laughed despite myself. "Yeah, I think that would be a pretty safe assumption."

Settling back into my seat, I tried to think of a way to properly explain to Edward exactly how much it meant to me that he would be so thoughtful and sweet. Unable to come up with anything even remotely adequate, I settled for the only thing I could say.

"Edward, this," I said, gesturing toward the amphitheater, "I think this is quite possibly the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Bella," he smiled, taking my hand and bringing it to his lips for a kiss. "So, I guess I did okay for a first date, huh?"

"Yeah," I laughed. "I think you did amazingly well for a first date. I'm very impressed."

"Good," he kissed my hand once more and winked before getting out of the car. I watched as he rounded to open my door.

Edward offered me his hand and once I stood beside him, he closed the door and tucked my hand under his arm, smiling down at me. "Ready?"

Returning his smile and leaning into him slightly, I nodded. "Yes, yes I am."

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**So? I hope you all enjoyed their first date.**

**Thank you to all of you who have fav'd, alerted, read and reviewed this story. I truly am humbled by the love poured out for this story. **

**Visit the website for the Shimmer Awards to take a look at the stories nominated. **http:/shimmerawards (.)webs(.)com/nominees(.)htm **Need You Now is nominated as well as Embodiment by Cullen321.**

**Please visit the Cystic Fibrosis Foundations website for information www(.)cff(.)org**

**I'll post the next chapter on Monday.**

**Until next time...**

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1  
**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: SM owns Twilight, I alas do not. Though I do love playing with her characters. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**As always, because I can NEVER say it enough, thank you to my Master Yoda, Jessica1971 for her exceptional beta skills. 3333 Love ya my dear!**

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Chapter 14

BPOV

"What are you thinking about? You're smiling like the Cheshire cat," I said and turned to see his eyes widen and the tips of his ears color slightly. Edward cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Oh….um," he laughed a little nervously and shifted his eyes from the road to me a few times before continuing. "I was thinking about the day of Olivia's procedure, when you met my mom."

I laughed and shook my head, remembering my morning with Esme Cullen. To say it had been an experience to remember would be an understatement.

"Do you remember how I told you before I left that I was sure my mother was waiting for me?"

"Yeah, I remember," I nodded, placing my hand atop his where it rested on the gear shift and threading our fingers together. I felt my own smile spread across my face at the memory of Edward coming toward me that morning just after Olivia had been wheeled away. There were no words I could use to describe the initial shock, and then the sense of peace I felt when he took me into his arms. Peace was something hard to come by the last few years and I clung to it at that moment. I realized that I was still holding onto that whenever I was in Edward's presence. He calmed me, made me feel safe in a way I had not in a very long time. Edward's voice brought me back to the present moment and I smiled as I listened to the deep almost musical cadence of his voice.

"Well, that's what I was thinking about," he said, shooting me a crooked grin. "Going home that night and finding my mom waiting to talk to me about you."

Edward tightened his fingers on mine but kept his eyes on the road as we made our way back to my house.

"Really now…hmmmm," I mused, laughing and shaking my head at just exactly how that conversation may have gone. "And just what did Mrs. Esme have to say?"

I saw Edward grimace and his cheeks color even more as he was obviously remembering the conversation with his mother. "Oh, wow, Edward," I couldn't help the laugh that erupted. "It couldn't have been that bad, could it?"

"Yes, it was," he said emphatically. "It was worse. My mom practically had us walking down the aisle by the time I got home and she's planning on you and Olivia coming out to Washington for a visit as soon as possible. Actually," he snorted, shaking his head he released my hand to run it through his hair, "she wants you and Olivia to come back home with me when I go out for Alice's baby shower, which isn't really a baby shower at all. It's an excuse for my mother and my sister to throw a big ass party and invite half the country to come."

I laughed at what I was sure was an over exaggeration. Edward turned to look at me with a completely serious look on his face.

"I'm not kidding, Bella. They even invited the Governor of Washington," he nodded at my wide eyed expression of disbelief. "And his RSVP was an affirmative. He's coming."

"Holy cow," I breathed, feeling a little breathless at the whole exchange.

I knew that Edward's father was a big deal orthopedic surgeon, but I had no idea that his family had those kinds of connections.

"My father did a knee replacement for him a few years ago and they sort of hit it off I guess you would say," he shrugged. "I guess they're golfing buddies, when they can play anyway."

"Wow…." I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to respond to finding out that Edward's family had such powerful friends. Not to mention the fact that his mother was inviting us to spend time with their family at an event such as the one he was telling me about. It was all a little intimidating.

"Bella," he said, his voice soft in the silence that had followed his revelation about his family's connections. "Are you okay? You got awful quiet….um, did I say something to upset you?"

"Uh…no, no, Edward," I said, looking over to see him running his hand through his hair and keeping his eyes glued to the road as if he were afraid to look at me.

I reached out, wrapping my fingers around his wrist, pulling his hand from his hair and into my lap.

"No, you didn't say anything," I said, rubbing my thumb over the inside of his wrist. I could feel his racing pulse beneath my thumb. "I was just shocked to find out that your family is friends with those kinds of people, that's all. So your mom had us walking down the aisle already, huh?"

He laughed, though it sounded a little strained, and I held his hand tighter, turning to smile at him. Edward smiled back and tightened his hand on mine before launching in to fill me in on the rest of his conversation with his mother. As we pulled into the drive in front of my house, he seemed much more relaxed and we were laughing over a story I was telling him from when Rosalie and I were teenagers.

"Oh, God," he laughed, turning off the ignition and trying to catch his breath. "You actually climbed in through your bedroom window?"

"Yes," I snickered, smacking him lightly on the shoulder. "I'm very good at climbing trees, thank you very much. The problem was that I fell climbing through the windowsill. My mom is a really light sleeper so the noise from my fall would have woken her anyway, but she was in my room waiting for me to get home. I didn't even have a chance to realize what was going on before both her and Phil were standing over me with none too happy expressions on their faces."

"Yeah, I can imagine," he said through his chortles.

"Phil made a bee-line for the back door," I said, trying to control my own giggles as I remembered the sound of Rosalie's squeal when her dad opened the door to her colorfully demanding to know why it took so long for me to open the door. "I think that may have been one of the only times I've seen Rosalie completely speechless. She _never _cursed in front of her dad, I mean ever. The things coming out of her mouth that night would make a sailor blush and Phil was beyond pissed after he recovered from the shock. We were grounded for like a month and I don't think it was all due to the fact we had been drinking. I think he was just pissed that Rosalie knew more curse words than he did."

We continued to snicker as I unlocked the door and entered my house.

"Would you like a drink, Edward?" I asked over my shoulder as I made my way toward the kitchen.

"Yeah, that would be great, thank you," he said, following close behind me and still chuckling. "A bottle of water if you don't mind, since I've got to drive home. I probably better stick with that."

I smiled and grabbed two bottles from the fridge, handing one to Edward. "Do you mind if I change into something a little more comfortable?"

"No, of course not," he said.

"Okay, well, just make yourself at home and I'll be back out in just a minute," I said before making my way down the hall to my room to slip out of the highly uncomfortable strappy sandals, although adorable, Rosalie said were perfect for the outfit. I had to agree they were perfect, but they were beginning to cut off the circulation to my toes.

I figured Edward had already seen me at my worst in the hospital as I slipped into a pair of gym shorts and a wife beater. Running a brush through my hair, I took a quick inventory of my appearance. My eyes were wide and there was a noticeable flush to my cheeks

"You've got it bad, girl," I said under my breath, shaking my head and chuckling at myself as I turned to leave the room.

I padded back to the family room where I left Edward a few minutes before. I could hear the muffled sounds of music wafting down the hall.

When I stepped into the room I could see Edward relaxing on the chaise at the end of the sectional I had just purchased a few weeks ago. His long legs were stretched out in front of him, his eyes were closed, and I watched his chest rise and fall as he breathed slowly.

I sat lightly on the cushion beside him, trying not to disturb him. I was unsure at that moment if he was just relaxing or if he had actually fallen asleep. I started when he spoke.

"I'm not asleep, Bella," he said, his voice low in the dim light as he opened his eyes, turning his head to look at me.

I smiled at him as I folded my legs under me and lay my head on the sofa back.

"I had a really good time tonight, Edward," I said.

He took my hand in his and brought it to his lips, brushing his lips over my knuckles before placing our clasped hands in his lap.

"I'm glad," he murmured. "I had a very good time as well. This has been the best first date I've ever had…..honestly, it's the best _date, _first or otherwise, I've ever had."

I felt the smile pull at my mouth as I looked into his eyes and knew he was being completely honest in what he said.

We sat just holding hands and talking quietly for a while, the music continuing to play softly in the background before something changed in the air. It was as if an electric charge had entered the atmosphere and my skin prickled with the sensation. I turned to look at Edward and it seemed he felt it, too. I met his gaze and saw the bright emerald green of his eyes darken to jade and I felt my breathing pick up.

"Bella," he whispered, running the back of his fingers from my temple to my chin as he began leaning toward me.

Like a moth to a flame, I was drawn to him. I sucked in a breath as an electric tingling ran over my skin. Edward pulled me to him and covered my mouth with his, immediately sucking my lower lip between his and nipping at it gently. My hands snaked around his neck and I shifted onto my knees beside him.

Edward's tongue darted out to meet mine; his nose nuzzled my own as he angled his head so our kiss could deepen. His hand ghosted over my ribs, lightly brushing the outside of my breast as he made his way down my side. His hand found my hip and his strong fingers dug into the bare skin of my lower back which had been exposed during our embrace. A low growl rumbled in his chest as he slowly slid his wide palm over my bare thigh, kneading the muscle and eliciting a moan from me as he pulled me closer.

Edward grabbed my hips and pulled me on top of him as he lay back on the chaise so I straddled his lap, my knees on either side of his hips.

"Oh, God," I moaned as I made full contact with the straining bulge in his jeans.

Edward's fingers bit into flesh and muscle as he cupped my bottom with both hands and groaned into my mouth. The heat spreading through my body was making me dizzy and my hands tightened in his hair.

"God, Bella," he groaned as he trailed hot open mouthed kisses over my jaw to my neck and down to the curve of my shoulder.

I rolled my head to the side to give him better access and ran my hands over his shoulders as I moved against him. The white hot heat building low in my abdomen was spreading throughout my entire body and my breathing was coming in short gasping pants.

Edward ghosted along my collarbone with lips and teeth and tongue as his fingers snuck under the hem of my shirt to slowly softly slide around my waist and over my abdomen.

I gasped when his thumbs barely touched the underside of each of my breasts.

"Is this okay, Bella?" he murmured against my lips as his mouth found mine again.

He couldn't seriously have expected me to actually answer that. I couldn't have told anyone my own name, much less string a coherent thought together at that moment, so I simply nodded and returned his kiss. Obviously that was answer enough for him, because he cupped my breasts in his palms. A wanton groan sounded in the back of his throat as he ran his thumbs over the already hardened peaks and I arched my back into his touch.

Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, it registered that my cell was ringing, but at that moment I was completely consumed with Edward's touch, lost in his kiss.

The ringing continued and became more incessantly annoying and I growled in frustration as my conscious mind realized that I really needed to answer the phone.

"Let it ring," Edward groaned against my throat.

"I can't….oh, God," I sighed as Edward suckled the swell of one breast over the top of my tank top, rolling the nipple between his fingers. "I….uhnnn, I have to answer….it…oh, that feels good…. it could be Olivia."

Edward growled against my chest and released his hold on me; he nodded briefly as he lay back against the cushion. His eyes were closed as I climbed off his lap and grabbed my phone from the side table.

I felt the breath catch in my chest as I saw the ID.

"Carole?" I answered, instantly on edge. I knew that she wouldn't call unless it was important. "Carole, is everything alright?"

"Bella…" she paused and I heard her take a deep breath. I closed my eyes, swallowing the bile in the back of my throat. "I'm so sorry to call. Olivia's fine, hon, well she's fine right now, I think. We got her calmed do-"

"Oh, God. Carole, what happened?" I interrupted, the panic gripping my chest and making it difficult to breathe.

"Sugar, she's fine really," Carole said. Her voice was calm but I could hear the strain of emotion. "Bella, she had a nightmare…..it was terrible and well….she just wants her mama, hon."

Olivia had suffered with night terrors since she was a small child. They were terrifying and exhausting, usually taking her hours to calm down so she could go back to sleep afterward. I was concerned about what might have triggered this episode because she hadn't had one in several months.

I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes as I released a stuttering breath and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes to fight them back so they wouldn't fall. I felt the cushion next to me shift as Edward moved closer to me and took my hand. I didn't want to open my eyes at that moment; I couldn't stand to see the disappointment I knew would meet me when I looked into his face.

There was nothing to be done about it, my baby needed me and our evening was over.

Edward squeezed my hand and whispered my name as I listened to Carole explain they had tried to calm Olivia as best they could, but she just kept begging them to call me to come get her.

Opening my eyes to look at Edward, I gasped. There was nothing but absolute concern showing on his face and the next words out of his mouth completely melted my heart.

"Tell her we're on the way."

I pulled Olivia's door closed quietly, leaned my head against the cool wood, and took a deep breath before blowing it out slowly through my nose. I turned to make my way back to Edward.

As I entered I could see him across the room holding a frame which I knew held a picture of Olivia and Mike taken the morning he left for Afghanistan.

I crossed to where he stood and placed my hand in the center of his back; he stiffened and then relaxed as he looked down to see that I was smiling, though my vision blurred with emotion.

"This," I ran a finger over Olivia and Mike's smiling faces, "was taken the morning Mike left for Kabul."

Edward sat the picture frame back on the bookshelf and turned to take me in his arms. I didn't even think twice as I melted into his body and buried my face in his chest.

He dropped a kiss to the top of my head before resting his cheek against my hair. We stood like that, wrapped in one another's arms for a long moment before he whispered, "How is she?"

My mind drifted back to arriving at Carole and Mike, Sr.'s house only a short time before. Mike, Sr. met us on the porch, a grim expression on his face.

"_Bella, I'm so sorry," he said as he bent to kiss my cheek._

"_Don't worry, Mike," I nodded and waved a hand dismissively, knowing they wouldn't have called except in an emergency. _

_I heard Mike greet Edward as I made my way into the house toward Olivia's room. Carole sat on the side of the bed rubbing circles on Olivia's back as she stared at the opposite wall. I could hear her sniffling from the doorway. _

_Smiling sadly at Carole as she raised her eyes to mine, I knelt in front of Olivia. _

"_Hey, baby," I crooned, running my hand gently down her face and wiping the tears away from her cheek. _

_She didn't speak; she only sat up and wrapped her arms around my shoulders and buried her face in my neck. I picked her up and made my way back out to Edward's car, sitting in the back so I could hold her to me even buckled in the seat. _

"She's okay," I said, my voice muffled by the fabric of Edward's shirt.

Edward led me over to the sofa, sitting down and pulling me into his lap. I relaxed into his chest and lay my head on his shoulder.

"Did she ever tell you what she was dreaming about?" he asked, his voice soft in the dim light of the room.

"Yeah," I nodded, wiping at my eyes with the tips of my fingers. "She…um, she said that…"

I pulled away slightly so I could look at Edward.

"Have you ever seen _Alice in Wonderland_? The new one, with Johnny Depp?"

Edward grinned crookedly, "No, I don't think I've seen that one yet."

"Um…okay, well there's this big spotted dog that chases Alice through the forest just after she gets to Wonderland," I explained.

I had told Edward earlier in the evening about Olivia's excited recitation of all the activities she had planned for the night with her grandparents, which included watching the newest addition to her growing DVD library.

"She said the dog was chasing her in her dream and when she woke up she saw the gorilla in her room and thought it was the dog coming-"

Edward cut me off, chuckling softly. "She has a gorilla in her room?"

"Oh yeah, Mike…." I trailed, knowing where the gargantuan purple gorilla came from and unsure if I should share the memory with Edward.

Though Edward had said more than once over the past weeks how much he wanted to be a part of our lives, I wasn't sure how comfortable he would be with talking about Mike.

I closed my eyes as the memory of the night Mike won that stuffed gorilla for me raced through my mind. I choked on a sob as Edward's strong arms came around me and pulled me back down into him.

"Bella," he said, his voice rough with some emotion I couldn't quite place. "Please don't hide your memories of Mike from me."

Edward's hand rubbed soothing circles over the center of my back; I pressed my forehead into the crook of his neck as he continued.

"He was your husband, Bella. He's Olivia's father and nothing is ever going to change that," he pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Mike will always be a part of your life. I'm not threatened by that; please don't shut me out because you think I might be hurt by the fact that he still holds a part of your heart."

It was an act in futility to even attempt to stop the tears and they fell over my cheeks unabated as Edward's arms tightened their hold on me.

Once I gained some semblance of control over my emotions, I began to tell Edward about the stuffed purple gorilla in Olivia's room.

"Mike won the gorilla for me at a fall carnival we went to the weekend we found out I was pregnant with Olivia," I whispered.

I closed my eyes as I recalled the memory of the night Mike and I spent strolling down the midway at the tiny county fair one town away from where we were stationed in Northern California. The images of Mike's smile as he looked at me with wonder shining in his crystal blue eyes flashed before me.

He had only been home from his last tour in Iraq for a couple of months and was scheduled to be ending his active duty service in little more than a year. It was late October and the pumpkin farms in the area were in full splendor with preparations for the upcoming holiday season.

Mike was like a kid in a candy shop with giddiness over being home and the knowledge that we had received just that morning after our visit with my obstetrician to confirm what we had known after the tenth home pregnancy test Mike insisted I take just to be sure.

I could still see the light in his eyes when he handed that god awful gorilla to me as if it was made of gold. We laughed all the way home that night because it was too big to fit inside the Nissan 280z that I drove back then, so Mike had to tie it to the roof.

"So…yeah, she was dreaming about the dog chasing her," I said, sighing and feeling exhausted by the emotions of the evening. "She couldn't get away and when she woke up and saw that gorilla…" I trailed off, waving my hand as it was obvious what happened after Olivia woke and saw that stuffed animal glaring at her in the dark.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I mumbled.

"Bella," he said softly. "What exactly are you apologizing for?"

"I…I'm not…This isn't exactly how…." I stammered, not sure how to put to words what I was trying to say. "I… I know that you were disappointed our evening got cut short and I just…."

I trailed off as I felt him stiffen under my hand which was resting on his chest, and the expression on his face when I sat up to look at him shocked me. He looked….hurt? Angry, maybe?

I tried to climb out of Edward's lap, but he wouldn't release the arm that was locked around my waist.

"You can't be serious," he laughed bitterly, his jaw tightening and releasing as he worked to control his tone. "Please tell me that you seriously can not think that I would be upset that your daughter is more important to you than hopping into bed with me. Do you really believe I would disrespect you in such a way, Bella? Why would I be upset that your daughter had a nightmare and needed her mother to comfort her?"

He looked up into my eyes and I could see the raw emotion burning in his as he grasped my chin in his free hand, holding my face so I had no choice but to look at him.

Edward took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. When he spoke once again, his voice was rough and had dropped so low I had to strain to hear what he said.

"Bella, please tell me you're not sorry for letting me into your life."

I stared at him, completely stunned by what he had said and the situation I had inadvertently found myself in at that moment.

When the apology slipped from my lips I had only consciously thought about how _I_ regretted our date had been cut short, and I was sure that he felt the same way. I wasn't meaning anything more than that, at least not as far as I was aware.

As all that tumbled through my mind, I realized Edward was right and even though it was completely subconscious, I had been apologizing for having responsibilities that would always take precedence over certain things in my life, for those things that would take priority over him and the relationship we were beginning to build. But I was not apologizing for letting him into my life; I couldn't be sorry for that.

I reached out, framing his face between my hands, and leaned in to press my lips to his. I felt him stiffen for a moment before he relaxed and returned my kiss. Pulling back, I pressed my forehead to his and opened my eyes to meet his.

"No, Edward," I whispered. "Of all the things I probably should be sorry for, letting you in my life is not one of them. I do know you wouldn't disrespect me in any way purposefully, so I'm sorry if I made you feel as though I did."

I pressed my lips to his softly before continuing.

"I can't change everything that has happened in my life, but I don't regret any of it, because all things considered I've had a very blessed life." I smiled and pressed my lips to his once more. "Finding you has been one of the best things that's happened in a really long time."

Edward stared at me for a long time before releasing a sound that was somewhere between a sob and a laugh as he wrapped me in his arms, crushing me to his chest and burying his face in my hair.

"God, woman," he groaned. "I swear you're going to be the death of me."

I choked on my own strangled laugh as I fisted my hands in the front of his shirt.

"So…does that mean you're still going to hang around with all this craziness?"

His chest rumbled against my ear with a low deep chuckle.

"Yeah, that would most definitely mean I'm sticking around, craziness and all," he laughed, hugging me tighter.

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**Thank you to all of you who are reading, reviewing, listing this story on your favorites or alerts and rec'ing NYN to your friends or on your blog! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! **

**Love to you all!**

**Until Wednesday...**

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1  
**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Yep SM still owns Twilight, I do not. Just playing with the characters here. **

**Sorry for the delay this week in updates. Any of you who follow me on Twitter I sent out a tweet last night that my RL kind of jumped up in the way and I'm currently still staying with my grandmother in the hospital. So I hope you'll forgive the delay. =) **

**Thank you isn't enough to my superbeta, but it's really all I have to give her at this point, but Jessica1971 is awesome and she makes my words much more pretty. Thank you my darling! 3333**

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Chapter 15

Calling all angels...

EPOV

"It's getting late," I said against the soft skin of her neck. "I guess I need to be going."

"You don't have to go…." she murmured, pressing her lips to the shell of my ear and sighing heavily. Her warm breath washed over me, causing a shiver to run down my spine. One arm tightened around her back, holding her to me closely, as the other slowly ran from rib to hip and thigh.

"Yeah," I said, swallowing thickly. "I….I think I really do."

I bit back a groan as she sucked the lobe of my ear between her lips, lightly scraping her teeth over the wet flesh as she released it once more. Gooseflesh rippled over my skin and my hand involuntarily grasped the supple flesh of her thigh as the coil of desire twisted tighter low in my abdomen, the beating of my heart pounding in my ears causing a much more uncomfortable sensation in other areas of my body.

Bella whimpered as I ran my hand up her thigh, finding the curve of her bottom and pressing her hips tightly into mine.

"Bella," I whispered, kissing the tender area behind her ear. "If I don't go right now…." I paused as I grazed my lips over the slope of her jaw, lightly biting my way over her chin and down the column of her throat. "If I don't go right now, I won't be able to leave." Pressing my lips to the place where the sensual flesh of her neck curved into a graceful shoulder, I could feel the fluttering of her heart. "I'm not sure that either of us is ready for…" I nipped the protrusion of collarbone at the hollow of her throat. "I don't think we're ready to try to explain that to Olivia just yet."

Bella released a strangled noise, caught somewhere between a sigh and a groan of frustration, tinged with a knowing resignation to the truth in what I said. Knowing that I was right, that we were not ready to take that step, and actually tearing myself away from the soft body of the woman beneath me were not synonymous concepts.

After the events of the last few hours, I was more resolved than ever to make sure that when we did take that final step, Bella would know that it was not a 'heat of the moment' event. She would understand that it wasn't simply a matter of my wanting her body – God knows I wanted her desperately – but that when we came together in that way it would be because she knew how special she was to me, how much I truly cared for her.

As I found her mouth once again, I knew that given a little more time I could love her; it frightened me how very close to that emotion I felt already.

"No, you're right, Edward," she said against my lips, her voice husky and thick, and I felt my body react immediately to the timber as I wondered if that was how she sounded in the morning, fresh from sleep. I prayed I would find out soon.

Our kisses slowed to small gentle pecks until we finally lay forehead to forehead, breathing one another in for a long moment.

The emotional discussion we had after returning from picking up Olivia had simultaneously drained and energized us both. While Bella had started out sitting in my lap, I had eventually pulled her down beside me on the chaise. For the last hour we had laid wrapped in each other's arms – kissing, touching, exploring, and learning every peak and valley of the other's body; we were becoming familiar with one another in ways that I had only fantasized about until tonight – how Bella would feel in my arms, pressed against my body at every possible point, and I found my imagination sorely wanton.

"I know you're right," Bella's soft voice broke the silence that had settled around us in the dim light of the room. "But….I don't want you to go."

"Hmmm…" I hummed, taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly. "I can't even put into words what you saying that does to me…but," I pressed my lips to hers gently, "I have to for now, not that I want to; there's a definite difference in what I want and the right thing to do."

I kissed her again, slowly, thoroughly, before pulling back to smile at her. The flush of her cheeks, the bee stung look of her lips from my kisses, and the rapid rise and fall of her chest were making it increasingly difficult to pull away and leave her before it was too late.

Reluctantly, I kissed her forehead and stood from where we lay together on the sofa.

Bella sat up immediately and crawled to the end of the chaise, wrapping her arms around my waist and burying her nose in my chest. My arms were automatically around her shoulders, my hands threading into the thick chestnut locks falling down her back and fanning it over her shoulders, slipping between my fingers.

She raised her head just enough to rest her chin in the center of my chest and smile up at me. I couldn't have stopped the grin that spread across my face if I had tried – which I didn't – and bent to kiss her once more. I couldn't seem to stop kissing her or touching her in some way; it was as though now that my body realized it had permission to do so, it was going to do it as much as possible while it could.

"I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" I said, looking into her eyes and framing her face with my hands.

"Okay," she said after a long moment. "I'll talk to you tomorrow then."

Bella pressed a kiss to the center of my chest then turned her head, resting her cheek over my heart, and I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, holding her to me. I dropped a kiss to the top of her head and took a deep breath, inhaling the subtle scent of lavender, vanilla, and just plain Bella. I felt dizzy from the intensity of the sensations coursing through my body at that moment and knew I needed to go….now.

"Goodnight, sweetheart," I murmured into her hair, pulling away reluctantly.

"Goodnight, Edward," she whispered, taking my hand and walking with me to the door.

As we reached the front door, I turned toward Bella, pulling her into one last embrace before tearing myself away and making my way to the car.

I looked up just before sliding behind the wheel to see Bella standing in the doorway, silhouetted by the light in the entrance way behind her, creating a glow that made her look even more like an angel. My heart stuttered and I took a deep breath as she raised a hand to wave before stepping inside and closing the door.

Quickly backing out of her drive, I made my way back to the highway and couldn't wipe the grin off my face for how the evening had turned out, regardless of Olivia's nightmare. I couldn't have been more pleased with Bella's reaction to what I had planned for our first date. Merging onto the highway, my mind drifted back over the last few days.

When Bella agreed to our first official date, I immediately began raking my brain for ideas of something out of the ordinary. It was truly a stroke of luck that Alex Fraser, another doctor on staff at the hospital who I recently became acquainted with, was complaining just days prior about how he and his wife held season tickets to all The Atlanta Symphony Orchestra events but almost never used them because of her travel schedule. Logan Fraser worked for Glaxo/Smith-Kline and was out of town on business more than not recently.

The fact that the tickets were actually for a table just off center stage and also included a dinner prior to the show was an added bonus that I hoped would earn me huge brownie points.

I wanted everything to be perfect for our first date, something that Bella would truly remember and that would hopefully make her realize how much she meant to me already.

It was impossible for me to explain exactly what I was feeling for Bella because I had never experienced such intense emotions for anyone so quickly before meeting her. Then by adding Olivia to the equation, there were honestly no words for how much the two of them meant to me already.

When I arrived to pick Bella up for our date and the door opened, I was stunned into silence, frozen in my spot as I took in the vision before me. She completely took my breath away; I honestly had a difficult time controlling the urge to take her in my arms, back her into the house, and forget all about any other plans for our evening.

Tamping down that urge to a manageable level, we made our way to the amphitheater. When we arrived and I saw Bella's face light up as she found out what we were doing for the evening, it was almost worth controlling myself…..almost. Then when she kissed me and it quickly became something more than just a small token of gratitude, suddenly I was wishing I hadn't been so eager to do the right thing in leaving Bella's house.

I have to admit the music was beautiful and once the movie began it was obvious how much the live version of the score affected Bella; I knew I had made the right decision in the choice of activities for our first date and in controlling myself, regardless of how difficult it had been.

I pulled into my assigned space in the parking deck for my apartment building and killed the engine. Scrubbing a hand roughly over my face, I made my way to the elevator and then to my apartment.

I loved my apartment and had been exceedingly happy with the location when I moved to Atlanta almost a year before. I was still happy here; it was just that after the warmth of Bella's home it seemed….cold?

The epitome of a bachelor pad, there were no touches of a woman at all. I had insisted on decorating it myself and wouldn't allow my mother or sister to do as they wanted and fly out to have their way with my space once I had found the place.

The black furniture was modern yet comfortable and it was just what I wanted at the time. I still felt that it was appropriate for a man in his thirties living on his own, it was just that after spending time with Bella in her home I could see that this was much more a place that I came to sleep and not so much a home.

At Bella's there was an air of life being lived and loved; obviously there were signs of Olivia with the odd sketch book or colored pencils mixed inside the basket of magazines beside the sofa.

From what I observed within the time I waited for Bella to emerge from Olivia's room, Rosalie had most definitely played a major role in their lives even before Mike's passing.

I smiled remembering the picture of a teenage Rosalie and Bella, arms around the other's shoulders and doubled over in laughter. There were pictures of Olivia at all stages of her life, both studio poses and random candid snapshots. It shocked me to see the blatant evidence that though Olivia was very ill child outwardly, she had never appeared to be anything but a poster child for health. Her big brown eyes were so much like her mother's, but after seeing the photos of her father it was obvious how much she looked like him in other ways, from the light, almost white, blond hair to the shape of her face and the curl of her hair.

Though Bella's hair wasn't without a soft hint of waviness, from the pictures it was obvious the tighter curl of Olivia's hair came from her father.

Stepping into the kitchen, I dropped my keys on the counter and crossed to grab a beer from the fridge, flipping the top into the trash before taking a long pull. I couldn't really explain what I was feeling at that moment. A strange sense of longing had settled in my abdomen and it had me unsettled.

I scoffed at myself and ran a hand through my hair, trying to distract my mind from conjuring the images of Bella's body pressed against mine by remembering the conversation I had with my mother after she spent the day with Bella on the day of Olivia's procedure.

After my first meeting with Olivia, I had been riding high with how well everything seemed to go. Olivia was adorable and the conversation I had with Bella outside her room made me feel so much more comfortable with where things stood between us.

My mother had been waiting, leaning against the counter in the kitchen with a knowing smirk she was unsuccessfully attempting to hide behind the steaming cup of tea, when I walked through the door that night.

Esme Cullen had always had a knack for reading people; it was almost as if when she looked at them she could see straight into their soul and knew what they were thinking instantly. I guess that was why she took an immediate dislike to Irina. She was quick to tell me she saw many things in Bella and there was something special about her. I couldn't have agreed more; there was something very special about Bella. She had fallen in love with Olivia instantly and couldn't tell me enough how precious she thought the child was; again, I had to completely agree.

Olivia, much like her mother, was very perceptive of the circumstances around her, especially for a nine-year-old little girl. She had a dry humor that struck me in its cutting accuracy. Maybe it had something to do with all that she dealt with from her disease, or possibly the fact that her father had died so early in her life, but Olivia Newton was a very intelligent girl with an outlook on the world that most her age would never posses. My mother had called her an old soul.

I felt the crease in my brow as I thought of Olivia while I made my way through my bedroom to run through my nightly routine. She was terrified when we picked her up at her grandparents. Seeing her cradled in Bella's arms, huddled under a blanket with her face buried in her mother's neck and her tiny shoulders shaking with the effort to quell her tears, broke my heart for both Bella and Olivia.

Bella's face was drawn and she hadn't said very much other than a whispered 'thank you' and a quick goodbye to her former in-laws, who (much to my surprise and gratitude) were very welcoming toward me.

I had shaken Mr. Newton's hand and said my goodbyes to Mrs. Newton before following Bella out to the car. Other than opening the door for her so she could climb in the backseat with Olivia still in her arms, there was little else to do.

I felt utterly inadequate in knowing what to do or how to help Bella in any way other than driving them home. As we traveled back toward Bella's home, I had listened intently as she spoke in soft whispers, comforting Olivia and humming lullabies as soft sniffles continued from the small bundle snuggled into her side.

Closing my eyes and leaning against the counter in my bathroom, the memory of how things had proceeded after we arrived at Bella's home ran through my mind.

I could still see the uncertainty in Bella's eyes when she met my gaze as she stood from my car before carrying Olivia into the house. I felt a cold trickle of fear run down my spine as I dutifully followed behind her. I wasn't sure if she wanted me there or not at that moment, but I wasn't leaving until I was sure they were both safely inside. It had not escaped my notice that Bella had shielded my covert invitation to go with me to Washington the next month without ever answering. I knew her father lived in Forks, so maybe that could be an angle for me to use to get her to agree to go.

As I waited for Bella to come back from Olivia's room, I perused the pictures lining the walls and bookshelves of the family room. The message was clear - there was a family who thrived there, and not just Bella and Olivia, but Rosalie and even Emmett to a degree.

Holding the picture of Mike with Olivia had left me feeling uneasy.

I wondered if Bella was right; I wanted to believe that I was doing the right things so far with Olivia and that I could fit into their lives, find my own niche within the family unit already in place.

Watching Emmett interact with Olivia the night before, I wasn't so sure that Bella was right; I worried that if things continued to progress between Bella and I, the difference in the role I would play in her life and the one Emmett fulfilled would be a bigger factor than Bella realized.

I would never want to take Mike's place, but I wanted to be a part of Olivia's life. I wanted to have something more with Bella than just a mere temporary relationship. I couldn't explain it really and I cursed myself as I finally slipped between the cool sheets of my bed. Save the fact that I had to play the gentleman, I could have been wrapped in the arms of a beautiful woman at that very moment instead of lying alone in my empty apartment.

It suddenly occurred to me, more strongly at that moment than it had at any other time over the last few weeks since meeting Bella, that I didn't want to have just one night with Bella. I wanted more with her than just to have sex, though my body had protested strongly because it did in fact want sex, but my heart wanted more.

I needed Bella and Olivia in my life, probably more than they needed me.

The week after our first date was long, in more ways than one. I had several cases that were interesting and thankfully kept my mind occupied during the majority of the day, but going home to my empty apartment every night made the hours before I could see Bella again feel like years.

Fortunately, we talked several times daily. Even if it was just a short text, it was great to have some type of contact and we spoke on the phone almost nightly.

I felt bad at times because of the lateness of some of our conversations, but not bad enough to not call her when I left the hospital after a long day.

Thankfully, the powers that be had seen to it to grant me another short weekend reprieve and I would get to spend at least some of that time with my favorite girls.

I had talked with Bella the night before as I left the hospital on my way home. It seemed her week had been tortuously long as well. Trying to get back in the swing of things since Olivia's discharge had been less than ideal.

Bella cared for patients that were in end stage cardiac disease, and some were closer to the end of their lives than others. It seemed that one of her favorite patients was nearing his end quickly and, Bella being Bella, she was unable to keep a professional distance from the man or his family. The coming of his death weighed heavily on her heart.

Slipping on my shoes, I grabbed my wallet and keys from the dresser and made my way to the office to get the tickets for the show. I sent a quick text to Bella to let her know I was on the way as I hit the call button for the elevator.

We were going to the two o'clock show and would grab an early dinner at The Varsity afterward. I couldn't wait to see Olivia's face when we got to the theater; the puppet museum alone was an experience.

I parked my car in Bella's drive and cut the engine, the smile spreading over my face as I made my way quickly to the front porch.

"Oof," I grunted as the door flew open and a giggling mass of blond hair hit me full force.

"Edward!" Olivia squealed and wrapped her arms around my neck. "Hi! I can't wait to go see the puppet show. I've never been to a puppet show. I was supposed to go once in like first grade but I got sick and missed the field trip. I was soooo happy when Mom said you were taking us today. Mom said I've been driving her nuts all week but I couldn't help it. I love puppets! Did you know that?"

"No, I didn't know that," I laughed as I carried her up the steps. "But I'm glad to know that you do."

"I guess you've gathered she's a bit excited about today," Bella said, closing the door behind me with a shake of her head and an indulgent laugh as I sat Olivia back on her feet.

"I am," Olivia said, smiling up at me and taking my hand, pulling me into the family room. "I really, really am."

I followed behind Olivia, allowing her to pull me into the family room and laughing as she threw herself on the cushions of the sofa, receiving an immediate reprimand from her mother for jumping on the furniture as she entered the room.

I couldn't help but smile at Olivia's face as she apologized with no real remorse whatsoever. Though I tried to cover it with a cough before Rosalie saw it, unfortunately I wasn't quick enough to hide it from Olivia and she beamed up at me, a mischievous gleam in her eye.

"Olivia, go grab a jacket," Bella said, smiling up at me and closing the distance between us. "You know you'll get cold at the theater."

Olivia grumbled under her breath but dutifully stood from the sofa and ambled out of the room.

"Hi," Bella said, placing a hand on my chest, the other sliding over my shoulder to thread her fingers in the hair at the nape of my neck. My hands immediately went to rest on her hips, pulling her closer to me. I bent to press my forehead to hers.

"Hi," I said and felt the pull of a smile at the corner of my mouth.

"I missed you," she breathed, her eyes burning into mine, and I felt the breath catch in my chest.

I swallowed thickly, trying to find my voice. When I did it was a rough whisper, "I missed you, too."

Unable to resist for another second, I pressed my lips to hers in a slow kiss. Bella sighed against my mouth and her hand slid from my chest to caress the side of my neck before joining its partner buried in my hair. My own hands moved from her hips around to the small of her back, pressing her tightly against my body.

An almost inaudible whimper escaped Bella's throat as I traced the line of her bottom lip with my tongue and she opened freely to me.

"MOM!" Olivia's voice startled us both and we immediately pulled away from one another, taking a step back and breathing heavily.

"Mom, I can't find my blue hoodie." Olivia's disembodied voice came from somewhere down the hallway, presumably in her room searching for the elusive jacket.

I groaned, running a hand through my hair and taking a deep breath to dislodge my heart from where it had taken up residency in the pit of my stomach.

"I'll be right back," Bella snickered. Standing on tip toe, she kissed my cheek and padded out of the room to help Olivia locate the missing article of clothing.

I chuckled nervously as I watched her retreating form, appreciating the gentle sway of her hips even in my distressed state. I couldn't explain it, though I certainly wasn't complaining, but something happened to me whenever we touched, even just a gentle hand on my arm; it was as if a fire exploded in my body and I had no self control whatsoever. I had never felt such intense feelings for anyone in my life before, and if this was any other relationship I might have acted on those desires, but this wasn't just any relationship. Bella wasn't just any girl and there was the responsibility of a young child thrown into the mix.

I paced the room as I waited for Bella and Olivia to find her jacket and return to me, thoughts of how to find a balance between the all consuming desire I felt for Bella and the need for discretion with regard to Olivia dancing through my head. Though I was accustomed to dealing with children on the short term, this situation was a mine field I wasn't as comfortable navigating.

"We're ready," Olivia chirped as she bounced back into the room with Bella close behind, a wide smile lighting her face as she stared up at me with the same brown doe eyes as her mother.

"Let's go then, shall we?" I said, bowing formally to her and offering Bella my arm.

Olivia giggled and led the way out the front door. I wasn't positive I knew how to navigate the slippery slope I found myself on with searching for a balance, but I sure as hell knew I was going to do everything in my power to make sure I got it right.

Bella shrugged, shaking her head and looking up at me with a slightly shy smile; releasing my arm, she turned to lock the door before wrapping her hand around my bicep as we walked to my car.

"She seems to be feeling well today," I whispered to Bella as soon as Olivia was inside the car.

Bella smiled. "Yeah, she's felt really good the last couple of days."

I smiled and nodded as I opened her door before rounding the car and sliding behind the wheel.

I laughed to myself as Olivia chattered away from the back seat, filling me in on everything that happened throughout the week as I took the exit off the highway. She seemed to have made a new friend and was a bit miffed at her mother for not allowing her to go home from school the day before with this new friend.

Bella snorted from the seat next to me. I smiled when she rolled her eyes and shook her head at her daughter's lament about the perils of having a mother that just had to meet her friend's parents before she could go over to their house.

"Oh!" Olivia squeaked from the backseat. "We're here."

Turning into the parking area and finding a spot under the gigantic V, there was no doubt of anyone mistaking the red and white building as anything other than The Varsity. I brought Bella's hand to my lips, pressing a kiss gently to the delicate skin at the inside of her wrist before climbing out of the car to open Olivia's door. I took her hand and rounded the car to where Bella stood waiting for us.

We made our way inside and to the counter to place our order. Bella gripped Olivia's hand as they threaded their way through the throngs of people to find a table while I waited for food.

Settling down at a small table near the back of the room, I smiled at Olivia's wide eyed expression as she took a bite of the chili cheese dog that was bigger than her mouth. She giggled as a dollop of chili and cheese dripped from her chin. Bella groaned and reminded her to use a napkin, and I couldn't help but chuckle at the mess she was making of herself.

Finishing up our lunch, we made our way back to the car and drove the couple of blocks to the Center for Puppetry Arts. Olivia moved on from telling me about her new friend to the details of her upcoming recital as we found our seats inside the theater.

"Hey," she chirped. "You didn't say if you were coming or not?"

"To your recital?" I asked as she nodded up at me with wide eyed expectation. "Um….well, yeah, I would love to come." I turned to look at Bella as Olivia had insisted that I sit between them. "What was the date again?"

"It's the second weekend in May," she said, a smirk on her face as she settled into her seat.

I tried to hide the grimace but wasn't fast enough and Bella caught it, reaching out to touch my hand. Usually schedules weren't set up weeks in advance, but I had just put in for the time off I would need to go home at the end of the month, so I knew the likelihood of being able to take another Saturday off from ER duty would be slim to none, but I found it near impossible to tell the little doe eyed girl, or her mother, that I wouldn't attend.

"Olivia, look the show's starting," Bella smiled sweetly and Olivia turned her attention to the stage as the curtains began to open and a puppeteer came out to introduce the show.

Bella took my hand in hers and held it tightly, leaning in to whisper in my ear. "Don't promise her something you can't follow through with. It will be a lot less disappointing to find out you're not coming now than to think you're coming and then you don't show."

"Bella," I said quietly, feeling my heart break, knowing that she was right but wanting it to be different. "I'm sorry, I just put in for the time off at the end of the month to go back to Washington. I…"

Bella shook her head, smiling with a hint of sadness at the corners. "Don't be, it's okay," she whispered. "She'll understand."

The note of disappointment was like a knife in my chest and I knew it would be worse when I heard it repeated in Olivia's voice.

My chest constricted at the thought that although Bella was trying to make me feel better for a situation completely out of my control, I still felt awful for not being able to be a part of something so important to them both.

Turning back to Olivia, I struggled to keep a smile on my face as I looked into her innocent face.

"I'm not sure that I can, Olivia," I said, trying to keep my voice quiet as the curtains began to open once more for the beginning of the show. I watched the smile on her face falter. "I have to work that weekend. I'm really sorry."

"Oh," she said, looking down at her hands clasped in her lap and shrugging her shoulders. "It's okay, maybe next time."

Her disappointment was almost palpable and I felt my heart break, but at the same time a jolt of joy shot through me at her words. _Maybe next time._ The thought that Olivia, even if she was disappointed right now, was willing to admit there would be a next time and that she would want me there caused a warm sensation to spread out from my chest throughout my entire body. I felt Bella squeeze my hand and I turned to see her smiling up at me and knew that somehow, come hell or high water, I would be at that recital.

* * *

**Thank you all again for your love and support of this story I so very much appreciate it. **

**Please visit the sparkle awards and vote if you would like for NYN as Best New Story, as well as Embodiment by Cullen312 for Best Drama. (If you haven't read Embodiment, why? Go, now, read. It's amazing!)**

**I have to send out a thank you as well to CellaCullen who I haven't done right by in thanking her often enough for her encouragement in putting this story out there. So to you my dear thank you, mwah!**

**You can find more information on Cystic Fibrosis at www(.)cff(.)org.**

**I will be updating again on Monday. **

**Until then...**

**xoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: SM owns Twilight, as I've said I'm just playing with the characters. **

**My thanks, as always, to the superbeta extraordinaire Jessica1971 for her awesome work! Thank you my dear. **

**A little bizness at the bottom...please make sure to read the A/N at the end. Without further ado...enjoy!  
**

* * *

Chapter 16

Picture perfect...

BPOV

As April faded into May, the days flew by in a blur of dance classes, homework, visiting patients, and end of the school year preparations. The one thing there didn't seem to be enough of was time spent with Edward.

I knew Edward was upset he wouldn't be able to attend Olivia's recital and I had to admit, although I understood, I was disappointed as well. Olivia was a trooper and tried to make him feel better about it, but it was plain to see she had really been looking forward to him being there as well.

To make up for it, Edward made an extra effort to come for dinner every chance he had. Because of the trip he was taking home to Washington later in the month, he worked extra shifts to make up the time, which left little time for a trip out of the city to see Olivia and me, but he did it whenever he could.

The fact he had been on staff at the hospital for a relatively short time put him near the bottom of the pecking order when it came to time off. Even with a connection to the boss, there was only so much Emmett could do in fairness to the others on staff. The couple of weekends Edward had off at the beginning of April made them even more special because he had spent them with us, and they weren't the norm for his schedule. I realized that and appreciated the fact he spent every moment he could with us, but it didn't make the fact he couldn't be with us for Olivia's recital any less disappointing.

We talked daily, whether it was text, email, or actually on the phone. Even on the days when he wouldn't get off duty until well past midnight, he always called and I always answered.

My heart swelled with emotions more intense than anything I was ever expecting to feel again. It frightened me at times. I couldn't explain why I felt so strongly so soon in our relationship, but there was no going back now. I needed Edward in my life and it was becoming pretty apparent that Olivia shared those feelings.

Watching them interact was amazing and did nothing to quell the rising feelings I had for Edward. I was aware that Edward worried about whether he could be what Olivia needed him to be, but I had no such qualms. After the events of our first official date, there was no doubt in my mind about his ability to be what Olivia and I both needed.

Edward was something special and I had every intention of making sure he knew that at every opportunity.

My mind snapped back to the task at hand. We had to be at dress rehearsal in an hour and I was still trying to figure out the workings of one of the attachments Olivia was to wear atop her tightly woven bun. The large blue feather and sequined atrocity looked like something from a can-can girl's costume out of one of those god awful spaghetti westerns. Which I guess it sort of fit since the theme of the whole production was the "Wild Wild West", but still.

"So this thing goes where? How?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow and looking between the contraption in my hand and Olivia's hair.

Olivia rolled her eyes and took the piece from my hands, promptly striding out of the bathroom.

"ROSE!" she called. "Can you please show Mom how to put this thing in my hair?"

"Well, that was completely unnecessary," I grumbled under my breath and followed behind Olivia to find Rosalie.

Granted, Rosalie had been the one with Olivia the day of costume pick up, but we had gone over the different accessories several times. The hat, if you could call it that, for this particular costume was more cumbersome and awkward than the others, but it was also the first act Olivia would be in of the three she was performing in.

I was a little concerned that she would have three routines to perform in one night. Though she took those classes during the week, they were broken up where she didn't have more than a one hour class on any given day. Mrs. Christi assured me that the scheduling of the routines would give the younger dancers time to take a break and change costumes between sets; I hoped that it would be enough. Olivia would have to make sure she stayed well hydrated and I packed a spare Albuterol inhaler in her bag to use if she was more short of breath than usual. It made her shaky, but it was better than the alternative.

Rosalie was laughing when I joined her and Olivia in the family room.

"This thing is really not that hard," Rose said, smirking at me as I glared in her direction. "You just have to place it on the bun and then….pin it right…here. There. See?"

I snorted and crossed my arms, pouting. "The darn thing is ridiculous. No wonder they wanted us to dress her in that one before we get to the auditorium. They didn't want to have to deal with putting _that_ on fifteen girls."

Olivia giggled and thanked Rosalie before skipping off to her room to grab the duffle she used for dance class.

"We're still meeting for dinner, right?" Rose asked, sitting back on the sofa and folding her legs under her.

"Yeah, if you want," I said, searching for my keys in the bottom of my purse. "We should be finished by six, I think. So we can meet at that Mexican place down the street from the high school, if that's good for you."

"Ooo, we're going for Mexican?" Olivia asked, eyes twinkling as she came back in the room.

I laughed at the look on her face and the memory of Mike joking that Olivia would probably be born wrapped in a tortilla with the amount of Mexican food I ate while pregnant with her. I didn't have a lot of cravings while carrying Olivia, but the taste of spicy jalapeños and salsa made my mouth water. Though she wasn't born wrapped in a tortilla, Olivia did have a healthy obsession with Tex-Mex cuisine.

Finally finding my keys in the bottomless pit of my purse, we said our goodbyes to Rose and made our way to the car with Olivia's other costumes draped over my arm.

"Oh my gosh, Em," Olivia said excitedly, shoving a tortilla chip piled with salsa into her mouth. "Ith waf sa-"

"Olivia, don't talk with your mouth full," I said as she continued to fill Emmett in on the rehearsal proceedings with a mouthful of crushed tortilla and salsa.

She looked up, blushing, slightly apologized and took a sip of water before starting again. We had just finished ordering our dinner. Sitting at the large round table, I easily caught the glance between Rose and Emmett as they stifled their chuckles and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep the grin off my own face.

Olivia was over the moon about all that happened during rehearsal for the next night's recital, finding it necessary to give every minute detail of what went on behind the stage while she was changing and waiting for her next routine.

"It's going to be so awesome," she said, taking another huge mouthful of salsa and chips.

"I have to say I agree," I said, smiling at Olivia and sampling the chips and salsa myself. "It was a really good show. The little ones are adorable and the company routines were something else, that one routine with the tribal theme?"

"Oh gosh, yeah," Olivia said, smiling brightly and nodding enthusiastically while turning back to a grinning Emmett. "They're amazing! I can't wait to get in company in a couple years."

"Well, I bet you were the best out of all of them, squirt," Em said, smiling and wrapping a big arm around Olivia's shoulders, pulling her into his side.

Olivia beamed up at him and laid her head in the crook of his shoulder, enjoying the attention from the big bear of a man. Emmett was so sweet with Olivia and the sight of him talking with her, holding her close to him, suddenly made me miss Edward even more.

The last couple of weeks, Edward and Olivia had shown me the burgeoning relationship they were building. It was obvious to me they were becoming very close. I knew from past experience that Olivia would become attached to him quickly; it was one thing that worried me in those first days, so that wasn't a surprise. What surprised me was how much the same could be said for Edward. He seemed to be completely smitten with my little girl.

I knew Edward would not replace Mike in Olivia's life and the fact was he didn't want to. Mike would forever be her father. Edward made it clear he had no hesitations or insecurities about the fact that there was another man that would always be a part of our lives. He accepted the fact that Olivia and I were a package deal and he plainly was more than willing to accept the responsibilities that went along with being with a woman who had a child, which was a difficult situation in and of itself, but in our case it was made more complicated by the special needs Olivia presented.

I would have to be blind to not see the light in Edward's eyes when, on the few occasions he had been at our home later in the evening, Olivia would curl up next to him on the sofa, asking him to read to her from whatever current _Harry Potter_ book she was reading.

The memory of only a few nights ago ran through my mind, bringing a smile to my face. I entered from the kitchen where I had been putting away the last of the leftovers from dinner to see both Edward and Olivia stretched out on the chaise. Olivia was sound asleep, head resting against Edward's chest as he lightly stroked the hair away from her face. I had to fight to hold back the tears when I saw him bend to press a gentle kiss to her forehead and then sigh contentedly, resting his cheek against the top of her head.

My heart nearly burst from witnessing such a tender moment, and if I had any unconscious doubts of Edward's honest intentions before then, they were completely eradicated by that scene.

I knew in that moment I would do whatever needed to be done to keep that man in our lives.

My mind returned to the present moment because of the deep rumble of Emmett's laugh and Olivia's giggling; I smiled, catching Rosalie's eye across the table. She was watching the two of them interacting as we ate dinner with a look I had noticed on her face more and more recently. I wondered if their relationship was progressing toward a more permanent type situation and I found that I sincerely hoped it was. Emmett was a good man and Rosalie deserved to have a man like him in her life. She had kissed enough toads in her day; it was time she found a prince.

I smiled as that thought rolled through my mind. I had been blessed with a marriage to a good man at one time in my life and I wanted that for Rosalie. At the same time, I had to admit that it seemed I was lucky enough to find another prince in Edward.

"Oh, Bella," Rosalie said, calling my attention back to the conversation swirling around me. "Mom called right after you and Olivia left for rehearsal. They got delayed so they're not going to be in until one o'clock tomorrow afternoon. Something about dad having a last minute meeting," she waved a hand dismissively with a roll of her eyes. "I'm picking them up at the airport. We should be fine to make it back to the auditorium by five."

"Yay! I can't wait for Mimi and Pop to get here," Olivia said, smiling at Rosalie then turning her wide eyed stare on me. "Oh, Mom, can I stay at the hotel with Mimi and Pop tomorrow night? Please, please, please?"

"You'll have to check with Mimi and Pop on that one, sweet pea," I laughed, shaking my head. "I guess it depends on how jet lagged they are after the recital, but if it's okay with them I don't see why not."

Olivia smiled knowingly. "They'll let me. Pop always lets me."

I snorted, taking the last bite of my dinner and shooting a look at Rosalie as she rolled her eyes with a knowing nod. We both knew the truth of that statement.

The fact that Phil and my mother didn't get to see Olivia as much as they would prefer gave them the impression they should go overboard when they did get the chance for a visit.

Like any grandparents, they tended to go out of their way to make sure they did everything possible to make thier grandchild happy to begin with, and it was hard to rein them in on their extravagance with gifts and activities.

I was glad they were going to be in town for a couple of days; Olivia missed them terribly and so did I. It had been several months since I had seen my mother and even longer since I had seen Phil. Though I had coached Renee through setting up a Skype account along with a web cam, it wasn't the same as having them here in the flesh.

I had the realization at that moment that Emmett would be meeting our parents for the first time, and I felt another pang of disappointment as I had hoped to introduce my mother and Phil to Edward, as well. Unfortunately, I knew it would not be at the recital when they would meet Emmett, but I held out hope that maybe Edward could join us for dinner before they left town again.

We finished up our dinner and after a lengthy argument over who was going to pay for the bill, Emmett slipped the waiter his cash, raised an eyebrow at me in challenge with a dimpled smile on his face, and made to leave.

"Alright, ladies, I've got to go. I love you," Emmett said, leaning over to kiss Rosalie quickly then smiling around the table at Olivia and me. "I'll see you tomorrow night, squirt."

With a big palm on Olivia's shoulder, he kissed her head and stood, rounding to throw me a one armed hug before making his way out of the restaurant.

"He's a good guy, Rose," I said, watching her face as she stared after Emmett's retreating form.

"Yeah, he is." A warm smile spread across her face before she turned to look at me. "So is Edward."

I nodded and the same smile broke across my face, a warm sensation spreading throughout my body and settling around my heart.

The recital was being held at Riverside Military Academy and the auditorium was immense. The stage and lighting were the likes you would see in an off Broadway theater. It was quite beautiful. Mrs. Christi had a long standing arrangement with the academy and had held the end of year recitals, as well as the holiday shows, there for the last ten years.

Thankfully my mother and Phil's plane had not been delayed and they, taxied by Rosalie, arrived just before Olivia and I entered the auditorium.

Olivia squealed and jumped into Renee's arms, almost dislodging the infernal hair attachment she had to wear for the first performance. The other hair attachment was much simpler, using an elastic band to hold it in place, and for her final routine she would have nothing in her hair at all as it was a more traditional ballet routine.

I had done as instructed and left Olivia in the care of the volunteer assigned to her group at the door to the backstage area. I would be lying if I said it didn't make me more than a little apprehensive at leaving my daughter in the care of a virtual stranger. Regardless of the fact that the woman was the mother of one of the girls from the dance studio, it still made me nervous.

While I dropped Olivia off, the rest of the family assembled in the lobby and waited for me to return so we could find seating together.

"Holy cow," I said, frustrated and a little worse for wear, as I joined the rather large circle of my family, gesturing vaguely toward the direction I just left Olivia. "That is a mad house. There are kids everywhere and volunteers and company girls moving the little ones here and there…good lord, it's crazy."

Everyone laughed lightly and we made our way toward the queue leading into the auditorium as the lights began to flash in warning to those, like us, who continued to mill around in the lobby.

Though tickets were sold in advance, there was also the opportunity to purchase them at the door and the lobby was full of family members meeting just as we had done to enter together, parent's picking up flower orders for their performers, and others ordering DVD recordings of the performance.

Since there wasn't an assigned seating arrangement and it was first come first serve, I hoped we would be able to get decent seating and in a sufficient quantity to accommodate such a large group.

I noticed that both Carole and Renee held the bouquet of flowers they brought with them for Olivia; Rosalie held a spray of lavender roses along with a smaller bouquet of daisies I knew were from Emmett.

I looked down at the bouquet of pink baby roses I had ordered through the dance studio and picked up before finding the family. I shook my head, smiling as the thought crossed my mind that the house was going to smell like a florist shop for the next week with all those flowers sitting around.

A smile crept across my lips as the memory of the text I received just as we arrived at the auditorium flashed across my mind. Wanting to wish Olivia well, Edward apologized yet again for not being able to attend. Though I knew there would be others, my chest tightened at the reminder he wasn't with us this time.

There was nothing to be done about it, and no reason to grieve over it any longer. As a doctor, his job requirements would keep him away from things that he would rather be doing. I knew that, and in the same way Edward had accepted the bedlam that came along with my life, I would accept those that came with his. Knowing that those times when he was with us were made all the sweeter by the rarity of that opportunity.

Suddenly I had the strangest sensation, as though I could feel Edward's presence. It was the same electrical charge that ran down my spine the first time I heard his voice. I shook my head slowly, trying to remove the feeling that he was close by, knowing that he wasn't even in the area, and continued to follow Rosalie and Emmett into the auditorium.

I felt a rush of warm air blow through my hair, causing gooseflesh to pimple my skin and I started as a large hand curved around the nape of neck.

I gasped as the deep timber of a very familiar voice whispered in my ear, "Better late than never, right?"

* * *

**Okay...so I have to again thank all of you who are reading and reviewing. I so very much appreciate that. I also want to thank all of you wonderful people who sent me your love and thoughts on my grandmothers condition. I am happy to say that she is home as of earlier today and on her way to getting better. **

**So there's a bit of business I need to attend to quickly...The posting schedule will be a little different this week and next. I am obviously posting today, I will post the update on Thursday. A follow up will be posted next Monday and then the following Thursday. Master Yoda (aka Jessica1971) and I both are going on vacation over the next two weeks which means that the chapters I have banked and are already beta'd will be the only ones to post for those two weeks. In turn this means I must spread out the posting a bit more or go a full week without a post, so I figured you wonderful people would rather get a couple of updates a week than no updates at all. **

**Thank you all again for all your support and love!**

**I will post the update on Thursday...**

**Until then...**

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1**

**Please visit www(.)cff(.)org for more information on Cystic Fibrosis and its treatments.  
**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: I'll say it again...SM owns Twilight, I do not. Just borrowing her characters. **

**To my super awesomesauce beta Jessica1971 for her magic fingers...MWAH! 3333**

******So here it is the meeting of the parent's...**

* * *

Chapter 17

BPOV

My mouth dropped open as I stared up into the emerald green of Edward's eyes.

"Edward?" I whispered, unsure if what I was seeing was real or just a figment of my imagination.

"Bella," he said and smirked, the humor in his eyes sparked at what I'm sure was a very comical expression on my face.

I sucked in a sharp breath and launched myself into his arms. The reality of the solid form I held to me, the strength in the arms around my waist lifting me from the ground, and the warm breath that moved through my hair as he buried his face there began to make it clear that he was real and not a hallucination.

"How….what…how," I stammered as I buried my face into his shoulder, arms locked tightly around his neck.

Edward chuckled, setting me on my feet again as one hand slid to my lower back. I noticed he also held a bouquet of flowers intended for Olivia.

Dipping his head and looking at me rather sheepishly from under his lashes, he said, "Well…it boils down to the fact that I….um, I guess I've been less than gracious recently around the hospital…"

Emmett made a derisive noise from behind me and I turned to look in his direction to see both he and Rosalie wore knowing looks. Of course Emmett would have been aware that Edward would be taking the night off, and obviously he had passed that along to Rosalie who had successfully kept the secret to herself. I wondered for a moment if Olivia was also aware but dismissed it almost as quickly as I had the thought, knowing that she couldn't keep a secret to save her life and would have let it slip had she known.

"That's an understatement," Emmett grunted and looked at Edward with mock reproach. "The man's been pissed off at everybody and everything all week, so there was a new resident that he's been working with who, hoping to get some brownie points, volunteered to take tonight's ER duty for him."

I looked back at Edward and saw the smile widen on his face, his eyes crinkling at the corners, and couldn't stop the responding smile that spread on mine.

In the excitement over Edward's sudden appearance and being in the midst of the throng of people, I didn't notice that the rest of our family had moved on without us. I looked up as Phil called to tell us they had found a row of seats which would accommodate our large gaggle of attendees.

The lights began to dim and the introductory music started as the voice of the MC began to fill the auditorium. I took Edward's hand as we began to follow behind Emmett and Rosalie to join the rest of my family.

I wrapped my free hand around his bicep and looked up at him, unable to wipe the smile from my face. "So you're off for the rest of the night?"

Edward turned to look at me and nodded, the smile still firmly on his face. "I don't have to be back at the hospital until tomorrow afternoon."

I stopped, reaching up to cup his cheek in my hand, caressing the high cheek bone and looking into his sparkling green eyes.

"I'm so glad you're here."

Standing on tip toe, I pressed my lips to his in a soft kiss quickly before pulling back to rest my forehead against his chest.

"Hmm," he hummed, dropping a kiss to the top of my head, "me too."

We finally reached the place where Phil had indicated that they had found enough seating for each of us. Unfortunately, the timing of Edward's appearance didn't afford formal introductions to the parental units. So after a quick 'hello- nice to meet you' and a perfunctory handshake with Phil and my mother, which was awkwardly done by reaching over those seated between us, and an acknowledging nod and wave toward Mike, Sr. and Carole, we settled down into our seats.

A resounding roll of drums thundered through the sound system, the final words of the MC faded, and the first performers appeared in spotlight as the heavy velvet curtains began to slowly recede.

"Olivia was amazing," Edward whispered, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as we made our way back toward the lobby after the final act.

I had to pick Olivia up in the same area where I had dropped her off prior to the performance, but the dance studio had given out identification tags with your dancers name on it to make sure that everyone got to the right parent and to reduce confusion, as well as a time frame for each age group to be picked up. There was still about fifteen minutes before I would need to be at the backstage door to pick her up.

"Yeah, I thought so, but…" I laughed lightly, trailing off before shrugging and placing an arm around his waist.

My heart had leapt into my throat when Olivia first appeared on stage. She was so tiny and so beautiful in costume. Her usually bubbly personality showed in her enthusiasm with each routine. As her mother, of course I felt as though she was outstanding, but it was really nice to hear Edward sharing that thought.

The throngs of people emptying from the auditorium into the lobby gave me a claustrophobic feeling and instead of waiting for the family to gather inside, Edward guided me out the front doors where things were not so crowded.

I turned to Edward, snaking both my arms around his neck. "I'm so glad you were able to come tonight. Do you realize how excited Olivia's going to be when she finds out that you're here?"

Edward chuckled, that deep chest rumbling sound that always brought a smile to my face, as he wrapped his arms around my waist to pull me closer. I could feel his fingers playing with the ends of my hair and the gooseflesh springing up across my skin at the sensation.

"Hmm…I'm glad that Olivia will be pleased," he said and bent to press his lips to mine chastely before whispering in my ear. "But I was hoping to make her mother even happier by being here."

I felt my heart rate speed up and the smile widen on my face.

"I think it was a pretty safe bet that I would be happy about you being here," I said, turning to press a kiss to the hard line of his jaw.

I pulled back to look at him, framing his face between my palms.

"Edward, I can't even put into words how much it means to me that you did this; you're here and I couldn't be happier."

I could feel the tightness building in my throat as I truly thought about what it took for Edward to get the time off for the recital. I knew that although he and Emmett joked about how ornery Edward had been the last several days, it was probably true to some degree. He had been terribly upset that he would not have the opportunity to be there for Olivia and for me.

Edward bent to kiss my forehead gently and tightened his arms, hugging me closely to his body.

"I hope you understand, Bella," he murmured into my hair. "I would do anything for you….and for Olivia. I….I l-" he stopped suddenly, swallowing thickly and stepping away from me slightly. I looked up, confused for a moment, trying to discern what he had been about to say and why he suddenly looked so pale.

I had no more time to think about it as Rosalie and Emmett had found their way to where we stood. The words out of Rosalie's mouth when they finally joined us hit me like a bucket of cold water.

"Watch out for Mom," Rosalie stage whispered. "It was like the friggin' Spanish Inquisition during the performance. I think she's kind of impressed that lover boy here showed up, but you know how Mom is….just….Anyway, I'm just warning you she's in full on mama bear mode tonight and she had that little," Rosalie gestured at her forehead, frowning, "thing between her eyebrows."

The _thing,_ as Rosalie referred to it, was a puckering between her eyebrows that Renee always got when she was worried or had something serious she wanted to speak to one of us girls about. In my experience, it usually preceded particularly awful discussions of things like yeast infections, Aunt 'Flo', and the practice of safe sex, which had included pictures and the demonstration of proper techniques at the age of ten. It was mortifying.

I had been pretty up front with my mother about how things had progressed relatively quickly between Edward and me, and now I was rethinking whether that was the best thing to have done.

I loved my mother, but as Rosalie and I both were well aware of, she could be like a pit-bull when it came to protecting her girls, especially if she felt that we were making a bad choice or in some way threatened. She had not held back in her opinion of Josh, which was one of the many times I really should have listened, but that was not the case now. I just hoped she would give Edward the chance to show her how wonderful he truly was.

"Emmett, you seem to have survived so far," I said, glancing over Rosalie's shoulder to where I could see Renee and the rest of our family stepping out of the lobby.

I lifted a hand to catch their attention and watched as they made their way toward us.

Emmett had not met our parents previously as he had been visiting his own family the last time Phil and Renee had flown into town. So although Rosalie and he had been dating quite a while at this point, it was the first opportunity that everyone had to be in the same place at the same time, which meant Renee would be twice as likely to say something completely off the wall or ask the most intrusively private questions.

It seemed Emmett had fared relatively well so far, but the night was young. There were any number of things that could come out of my mother's mouth that would undoubtedly embarrass me and Rosalie to the Nth degree, but also possibly send either of the boys for the hills with not so much as a backward glance.

"Meh," Emmett shrugged. "Renee's cool. She's just a little….direct."

"Yeah," Rosalie snorted. "He's done fine, but you know how Emmett is. Very little fazes him."

I groaned again, rolling my eyes, and I felt Edward's arm tighten around my waist. I looked up to see him staring at me with a concerned expression on his face.

I tried to smile reassuringly, struggling for a way to explain what to expect from my mother in the few seconds available before Renee descended upon us.

I had told Edward more than once about the horror stories of my youth and the crazy things my mother had done in regards to former boyfriends. Edward had only laughed and I was sure he assumed I was exaggerating for the sake of telling a good story. Sadly, I wasn't, and he was about to find out just how true to life I had been in my description of my mother. While loving in her underlying nature, she could be unbelievably infuriating.

Though I was terribly disappointed at the prospect of Edward _not _meeting my mother and Phil earlier in the evening when I thought it wasn't a possibility, now that things had worked out in favor of just such a meeting, a cold sweat broke out all over my body at the myriad of things that could happen in the next few moments.

Meeting Edward's mother had occurred at such a time of stress, during Olivia's bronchoscopy, that I really didn't have a nerve to spare for any anxiety prior to meeting Esme. Then she had been so warm and inviting so it was never a concern.

Edward meeting my mother was not likely to be such an occasion, and I had a sudden pang of guilt at not having prepared him better for what kind of reception he was likely to receive.

"Edward….listen, no matter what my mother says or asks, don't pay attention to her, okay? She's….I can't really explain it, but I wasn't joking when I told you some of the things she's done to past relationships. Please….just….don't take offense to anything she might say, okay?"

Edward's face registered several different emotions in a very short period of time before he nodded and squeezed my hand reassuringly with that little crooked smirk I knew he wore when he was nervous. It was almost like part of the confident act he used when dealing with his patient's families, which was exactly that. Edward was an accomplished physician, but in personal affairs he was hesitant and awkward at best.

It was one of the many things that had drawn me to him; the fact that he wasn't an over confident jerk was sexy and endearing, but right now I needed him to be a little more of the confident physician and little less of the sweet, tentatively awkward man I loved.

"Oh my god," I breathed as the truth of that thought hit me full force.

"What?" Edward said, his expression immediately concerned as I stared wide eyed at him.

I was stunned that I had not realized I had fallen in love with Edward before that very moment. I knew the feelings I felt were incredibly strong, but I had not let myself truly realize I was irrevocably in love with him.

A smile began to pull at the corners of my lips as I looked up at Edward. I popped up on tip toe to kiss him quickly and shook my head, smiling.

"Nothing, we'll talk about it later, 'k?" I whispered just as my parents joined us and he nodded, still looking a bit confused.

"Bella, honey, you haven't introduced us properly to your friend," she gestured and looked Edward up and down with a cool appraisal.

"Sorry, Mom," I said, not even having to fake the smile on my face. "Renee, Phil, this is Dr. Edward Cullen. Edward, this is my mother, Renee, and my step-father, Phil Dwyer."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am," Edward said. The smile was completely genuine even though I could see a tightening around his mouth and eyes.

"Sir," Edward said, turning to shake Phil's hand in turn.

"Good to meet you, son," Phil said, smiling and clasping Edward's upper arm in a welcoming way as they shook hands.

"Oh, Edward," Carole said, smiling as she and Mike, Sr. joined our little group. "It's so good to see you, hon. Bella told us you weren't going to be here tonight. Olivia was terribly disappointed."

"It's good to see you too, ma'am," Edward replied and returned her smile. "I know. It wasn't easy to keep it a secret. I believe the only people who were aware that I was able to come were Emmett and Rosalie."

Edward turned to smile down at me as he took my hand and pulled me a little closer to his side.

"Yes, well," Renee chimed in with a brilliant smile on her face. "It's obviously a great surprise for Bella, but I would assume you both," she gestured between Emmett and Edward, "have a great deal of responsibility at the hospital."

Turning her attention toward Emmett for the briefest of moments, she continued. "I mean, you are the chief of the department, right? How is it that you were both able to shirk those responsibilities without creating a great hardship on your co-workers?"

I felt my jaw drop and turned to see Rosalie with much the same expression. I was completely astonished at her insinuation and amazed that she had succeeded in cutting both Emmett and Edward in one fell swoop.

I caught a glimpse of Carole and Mike, Sr. exchanging a knowing look. They had been witness to Renee's displays of directness, and at times ruthlessness, in the past.

"Renee," Phil said sharply.

"What?" Renee asked, turning to him with an expression of complete innocence. "I only want to make sure that these boys are responsible and understand they have to take care of our girls. I mean, really, it's an honest question. I'm their mother. I'm sure these young men understand I meant nothing by asking."

She turned to smile at both Edward and Emmett, but it was obvious she meant to see if she could rattle their cages with her comment. Luckily, as Rosalie had pointed out, little fazed Emmett, and he was the first to recover his composure with a surprisingly genuine smile.

"Like a rattlesnake doesn't mean to be poisonous," Rosalie said under her breath, glaring at our mother.

"Well, yes ma'am," Emmett said, turning on his full charm. "You're absolutely right to want to make sure that we're not a couple of deadbeats. I believe I can speak for both Edward and I in saying that we would do whatever it takes to care for your daughters. I am head of the orthopedic department, so I have final say on scheduling. The hospital is more than cared for tonight, ma'am, and I appreciate your concern about our patient care," Emmett clapped a big hand on Edward's shoulder and winked at me before turning back to smile at Renee. "But this guy's been beside himself for the last two weeks, afraid he was going to have to disappoint both Bella and Olivia. So when the resident who's been working for several weeks with Edward came to me and requested that he take tonight's ER duty so Edward might be able to attend…I was more than pleased to give the approval."

I couldn't help but giggle a little at the expression on my mother's face and looked over at Rosalie to see her biting her lip to hold in the snicker as she held Emmett's hand in a death grip.

"Oh, well, yes…yes, I'm sure that…" Renee stammered and then took a deep breath to regain some of her composure. "Well, that's wonderful you were able to make it possible for both of you to attend. I'm sure that Bella greatly appreciates that."

"Okay, I've got to go pick up Olivia," I said suddenly, trying to break the awkward tension swirling in the air, and tugged on Edward's hand to get his attention. "You want to come with me? Olivia would love it if you're the one to pick her up."

A slow smile spread across Edward's face and some of the tension in his shoulders began to relax. The light in his eyes was more than enough of an answer.

"You guys wait here," I said, turning back to the others. "We'll be back in just a little bit."

Once we were a safe distance away, I pulled Edward to a stop. "Hey," I said, "I'm sorry about that. My mom-"

"Bella," he said, cutting me off and cupping my cheek in his free hand. "It's okay. I think Em handled it pretty well, and in any case I've handled a lot of mother's in my time. I get it. She's just concerned for you and Rosalie…and Olivia. And _you_ worry too much."

He chuckled before kissing me softly and much, much too quickly. I sighed and hugged him to me, burying my face in his chest and taking a deep calming breath.

"Let's go get the girl," he said, pulling back to take my hand once again and leading the way to the backstage door.

I dug the identification pass out of my purse and handed it to Edward. He took it with a brilliant smile on his face before dropping a kiss on top of my head and turning to the volunteer just outside the door, which just so happened to be the mother of one of Olivia's best friends.

I saw the quirk of an eyebrow as Edward handed the pass with Olivia's name on it to her. Catching her eye over Edward's shoulder, I nodded. I felt a sudden flush in my cheeks at the knowing expression that fell over her face.

Her quick appreciative glance at Edward before she turned to call for Olivia didn't escape my notice. It struck me just how handsome Edward really was as I could take in his form without notice for a moment.

The sports coat was cut to set perfectly across his broad shoulders, tapering to his trim waist. The fall of the casual pants he wore did nothing to conceal the long muscled thighs as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. The sculpted muscles of his chest were evident under the soft fabric of his silver button down, with just a hint of auburn curling from the open buttons at the neck.

The breath hitched in my throat as he turned, catching me in the perusal of his body. He raised an eyebrow, humor and suggestion evident in the spark of his eyes when our gaze finally met, and a smirk pulled the corner of his mouth up slightly.

"EDWARD!"

Olivia's high pitched squeal of delight broke through the electrical charge in the air and Edward turned just in time to catch her as she dropped her over stuffed duffle, launching herself into his arms.

"Hey there, princess," he laughed as he hoisted her into a more comfortable position.

"I didn't think you were going to come," she said, pulling back, her hands clasped behind his neck and a huge smile on her face. "You tricked me."

Edward chuckled, hugging her to his chest and kissing her head before stooping to grab her discarded bag and turning back toward me.

"I knew you would come," I heard Olivia whisper and her eyes fluttered closed as she rested her head on his shoulder. I swallowed the thick lump suddenly in my throat, realizing the faith Olivia had in Edward already and just how much she wanted him in her life.

Placing a hand on Olivia's back, I stood on tip-toe to kiss her cheek. I glanced up to meet Edward's eyes and saw reflected there the same intensity of feelings I held in my heart for him, and I realized in that moment that it wasn't the first time I had seen it there. I knew that before the night was finished, I would tell him how very deeply I cared for him.

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**Thank you all so much for the love and support. Again I need to send a shout to CellaCullen for encouraging me to write this story. Thank you darling! Check out her site, Twihard, the link is on my profile. **

**Please check out The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation's website at .org for more information on Cystic Fibrosis and it's treatments. **

**I also want to thank you all for the concern and well wishes for my grandmother. She's doing much better. **

**I will be posting the next chapter on Monday.**

**Until then...**

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Yep gotta say it again...I don't own Twilight (wish I did) but it still belongs to the wonderful SM. **

**As always my thanks goes to Jessica1971 (Master Yoda) for working her magic yet again. 33333**

**So a few of you have been DYING from the UST...I hope you'll be happy at the end of this... ^_~  
**

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Chapter 18

Declarations...

BPOV

I sighed heavily, rolling my neck and shoulders, trying in vain to release some of the tension as I stood alone in the kitchen, pouring Edward and I a glass of wine.

Olivia had made quick work of requesting that she go back to the hotel with Renee and Phil, to which they agreed, of course. Knowing that there was no way they would have told her no, I had packed an extra overnight bag along with her percussion vest and put them in the trunk before leaving for the recital.

I took a long cleansing breath as I thought of how Renee had questioned Edward during dinner on everything from where he had gone to school to his reasons for moving so far away from his family and friends. I had to give it to him - he handled my mother with more grace than I could have done. Though I could see it in her face, his explanations of simply taking the opportunity presented to him at the Children's Hospital didn't seem to hold much water with her. She had smiled genially and finally let the subject drop.

In truth, I knew Renee meant nothing by being so….rude? But still, I knew much of her reticence in pursuing the matter had to do with the presence of Olivia. Her overflowing happiness from the after effects of performing, as well as having her family in attendance, overpowered much of the residual tension which lingered in the air.

I felt Edward enter the room before he ever touched me and a resulting smile spread over my face as he came close.

"Bella," he murmured as his fingers brushed the hair from my shoulder. Warm breath rushed over the exposed flesh and he gently pressed his lips to the curve of my neck and shoulder.

He rested his hands on the counter top, effectively trapping me between his arms. The sensation of his body leaning into mine caused a shiver to pass over me. I sighed and rolled my head to one side, giving him better access.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked, nuzzling my jaw and kissing the shell of my ear.

I turned in the circle of his arms and snaked mine around his neck, threading my fingers through his soft hair and pulling him down to me. His lips were soft and warm. I sighed as his hands moved to the small of my back and he pressed his body against mine.

"Hmm….well," I said, smiling. "I _was_ pouring us some wine, but then someone interrupted me and …..I got distracted."

"Distracted, hmm?" he said, dipping his head and nipping my collarbone lightly.

"Mmhm," I murmured, my head falling back as Edward moved to press me back against the counter. As he was kissing up the column of my neck, one hand moved down to cup my bottom, pushing my hips tighter into his own, as the other buried itself in the hair at the nape of my neck and tilted my head back further.

I moaned as the shifting of our bodies brought me into full contact with the effect our kissing was having on him and in turn had a strong effect on the fire building in my own body.

The lingering thoughts of how Renee had acted along with the realization I had earlier in the evening broke through the desire fogging my brain. Somehow I remembered that there were things I wanted to talk to him about, and if he kept doing what he was doing with his lips, I wouldn't be able to remember my own name in a very short period of time.

"Edward….ah…can we…oh goodness," I said, my breathing speeding up along with my heart as Edward grazed his nose over the curve of my jaw, suckling the tender skin just behind my ear. "Oh, God…mmmm, can we…can we talk for…. ah," I cleared my throat and pushed on his shoulders gently. "For just a minute?"

"Hmm?" he hummed against my lips as he found my mouth once again.

Unable to resist the pull, I submitted to the delicious sensations, opening to him as he ran the tip of his tongue over my upper lip and plunged inside, making my knees go weak. Edward's arms tightened around me, supporting my weight and holding me to him as the kiss intensified.

"I don't want to talk about your mother, Bella," he murmured as he broke our kiss, resting his forehead against mine, our chests rising and falling rapidly as we both tried to catch our breath.

I took a deep breath and released it slowly, reaching up to hold his face between my palms and laughing lightly.

"Honestly, I don't want to talk about my mother right now, either," I said, kissing his chin. "But I do want to tell you I'm sorry she was so rude to you tonight. I wish I had prepared you a little more for how she might act. I don't know; I was so excited for you guys to meet and then you weren't going to get to come…" I shook my head and my eyes closed as I thought about how disappointed I had been at the thought of Edward not attending Olivia's recital and how I wished that Renee was more like Esme, or even Carole for that matter. They both had been so accepting of our relationship, both seeming to see how happy we were together and the way that fact affected Olivia.

"Bella," Edward said, his voice low and rough as he pulled back to look more fully at me. "I already told you, you worry too much. Don't get me wrong, I can't really understand why your mother seemed to dislike me, but all the same, I'm not going to let it get in the way of what we have right," he leaned forward just enough to kiss me lightly, "here. Okay?"

I looked into his eyes for a long moment before nodding. "Okay."

"Besides," he said, a smirk pulling at his mouth, "she'll eventually be overwhelmed by my unbelievable charm and she'll wind up loving me despite herself."

There was no holding back the laugh that bubbled up and I buried my face in his chest as the giggles shook my entire body. Edward's chest rumbled with his own laughter and he dropped a kiss to the top of my head.

"You know what?" I asked, my voice muffled by his shirt. "You're absolutely right. She can't help but love you….because I do."

I felt his entire body go rigid as what I said seemed to register. My body froze and I held my breath. Keeping my face pressed to his chest, I could feel his heart pounding against his ribs, refusing to look up for fear of what I would see in his face.

"Wha-" he broke off, his voice strangled. Clearing his throat, he tried again. Grasping my chin, he titled my face so I had no choice but to look at him.

"What did you say?"

Edward's eyes burned with an intensity I had never seen before as he waited for me to repeat my words. I swallowed, trying to dislodge the thick lump in my throat and regain my voice.

"I….I said that she can't help but to love you because…I do. I love you," I whispered.

My eyes burned and I blinked furiously, trying to clear the blurring of my vision as I waited for Edward to say something.

I don't know if I really expected him to say the words back to me, but the longer he stood frozen and staring at me, the more obvious it became that I had maybe been mistaken in the way he felt. The confidence I felt about the look I had seen in his eyes earlier in the night, when he held Olivia and looked at me, suddenly crashed in my chest as I realized I must have been mistaken. He didn't feel the same for me and I had completely made a fool of myself.

"I…you…you don't have to say anything," I said, pulling away from him and feeling my heart break a little further as he let me go without a word.

I turned quickly and grabbed the glass of wine I had poured only a few moments ago, downing half in one gulp, feeling the warm sensation of the wine sliding into my stomach. I braced myself against the counter with both hands, taking deep gulping breaths as I tried to swallow the bile rising at the back of my throat.

I flinched as Edward placed his hands on my shoulders and bit my lip, struggling to hold back the sob that threatened to escape.

"Bella," he murmured, his warm breath blowing through my hair as I felt him pressing his face into the side of my head. "Bella….I love you, too."

I shook my head and squeezed my eyes closed, not wanting to allow the possibility that he was telling me the truth to leak in and flame the fire of hope burning in my chest.

"Please, Bella," he said, turning me toward him. "Look at me."

He held my chin between his finger and thumb, raising my face to his, but I kept my eyes closed. I was not ready yet to look into those green eyes. His free arm slid around my waist.

"Bella," he said, his voice a strangled whisper. "Please, look at me."

Slowly, I opened my eyes and was surprised to see his shining brightly back at me with what I thought could only be unshed tears of his own.

"I love you," he said. Leaning toward me, he kissed me gently. "I love you."

"Oh God, you do, don't you?" I asked, choking on the laughter bubbling in my chest and placing my hands on Edward's chest.

"I do," Edward nodded emphatically, a wide smile creasing his face. He released my chin and raised his hand to tuck a lock of stray hair behind my ear.

"I do," he repeated fervently, watching his hand in rapt attention as he lightly ran the back of his curled fingers from my temple to jaw.

My eyes darted to Edward's mouth, watching as his lips parted and I heard him gasp when I darted my tongue out, barely touching the tip of his finger as it ghosted over my lips.

Looking up to see Edward's eyes darken, I felt his arm tighten around my waist as my hands slid over his chest, feeling the muscles quiver under my palms. I caressed the line of his jaw, the stubble rough against my thumbs. He turned to kiss my palm before I finally made my way into his hair and pulled him toward me as I stood on tip-toe.

"I love you," I whispered just as our lips met once again, and there was no more need for words.

Edward made a deep guttural sound in the back of his throat as he stooped, grasping both my thighs and lifting me quickly onto the counter top, never breaking our kiss. He stepped between my thighs and I wrapped my legs around his waist, groaning when his erection pressed against me.

Edward's hands slipped under the hem of my shirt and the tips of his fingers bit into the flesh of my back as he leaned further into me.

I lost myself in the sensations. It felt as if Edward was everywhere at once - it was too much and not enough simultaneously. His hands and lips and teeth were in all the right places and I needed more.

Finding the buttons of his shirt, I couldn't seem to get my fumbling fingers to cooperate. Growling in frustration, I broke our kiss to have a better look at the job at hand.

Edward chuckled and moved his lips to the curve of my jaw. I gasped as his teeth grazed the protrusion of bone and felt the heat between my legs grow, the urgency becoming almost unbearable.

His hands were sliding over my ribs, just grazing the underside of my breasts before moving back down along my abdomen and around to tighten around my waist, only to repeat the circuit over and over, driving me mad with the sensation of his touch.

Finally releasing the last of the buttons of his shirt, Edward moaned deep in his chest as I slid both hands under the soft fabric and felt my way along the ridges and contours of his abdomen and chest.

Following the path of my hands with my lips, I reached his shoulders and he let the fabric fall to his elbows. Removing his hands from my body for a moment, he tore at the cuffs, struggling in the same haste that frustrated me only a few seconds before. Successful at last, he let the shirt fall to the floor and found my mouth once again in a searing kiss.

"Take me to bed, Edward," I said, my voice barely an audible whisper against his skin.

Without a further word or second thought, he wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me from the counter. A little squeak of surprise escaped my lips as I locked my ankles at his back, my arms around his neck as he made his way toward my bedroom.

I could feel the tightening of the muscles in his arms and chest as he held me to him; the movement of his legs as he carried me caused a delicious friction between our bodies.

His skin felt like fire under my lips as I made my way across his chest and repaid some of the painful pleasure he had given me, pressing my teeth into the soft flesh at the hollow of his throat. The hissing noise as he sucked air through his teeth when I found the throbbing pulse at the curve of his neck and shoulder and suckled the skin brought a smile to my face.

The coil in my abdomen tightened as a hand curled into the hair at the back of my head. I felt his body shift then heard the door to my room slam shut as Edward kicked it closed behind him.

I pulled back reluctantly from my enjoyable task of memorizing every inch of Edward's skin to look into his eyes. They had darkened to such a forest green that they appeared almost black with desire.

Though his expression was wild, his touch was gentle as he slowly laid me on the bed and pulled away to toe off his shoes. I had lost mine long ago, along with my blouse at some unknown location between the kitchen and the bed.

I lay in nothing but the black pants I wore to the recital and a black lace bra. Edward's eyes raked over my body as if drinking in the sight like a man lost at sea clings to a piece of driftwood.

I lifted my hands to begin to remove my pants and Edward's eyes shot to mine. He shook his head as his own hands went to his belt and his pants fell to the floor silently.

My breath caught as Edward came toward me, covering my body with his own. The rush of his skin against mine was almost more than I could take and I whimpered as a large hand cupped my breast, thumbing the hardened tip through the lace of my bra.

"So beautiful," Edward whispered as he dipped his head to kiss the swell of the breast he gently fondled.

Moving painfully slow, he made his way down my body, leaving a trail of fire in his wake. My mind was on overload with the feel of Edward all around me.

I don't remember how or when it happened, but suddenly I was naked and felt the scrape of Edward's stubble as he kissed his way up the inside of my thigh toward my core.

In a moment of consciousness, I was thankful for my vanity and the upcoming summer which had made me have the forethought to schedule an appointment for a wax the week before.

"Oh, God," he murmured against the juncture of hip and body as I felt the velvet of his tongue trace the deep groove there. "You're so beautiful, Bella."

I couldn't speak, my throat having clamped shut with the pleasure of what he was now doing with the same mouth that had driven me mad with his kisses. I should have known he would be so talented; anyone that could kiss the way he did would have to be good at other things as well.

The tightening so low in my abdomen was met by the fire building in my skin and when Edward's long fingers joined the things he was doing with lips, tongue, and teeth, it was as if my body was thrown off the cliff. I cried out his name as I fell into a white bliss of ecstasy.

As I floated back to Earth, I felt Edward shifting, kissing my abdomen and nuzzling his nose around the circle of my navel as he made his way back up my body.

I opened my eyes to see the corner of his mouth curl into a smile as he looked up at me from under his lashes, not stopping in his ministrations of my body.

"Extraordinary," he said against the swell of my breast just before he pulled the nipple between his lips.

My hands immediately shot to his hair, holding him to me as my body burned for more.

"Oh god, Edward," I moaned and he continued to suckle me as he palmed my other breast, rolling the hardened flesh between finger and thumb.

"Please….please, I can't," I begged, knowing that I would be nothing more than a pile of ash when we were through. It just wasn't possible to burn for someone so deeply and survive.

I could feel the hot, throbbing of his erection against the inside of my thigh and tried to move to bring him into the cradle of my hips. His body froze, head snapping up to look at me full on.

"Bella, I didn't… I," he stammered and shook his head, clearing his throat.

I interrupted before he could speak again, realizing what he had been trying to say.

"There's a box in the drawer," I said, lifting my chin in the direction of the night stand.

A dark look suddenly crossed his face and he made no motion toward the small stand of drawers beside the bed.

"Edward?" I asked, confused, then it suddenly dawned on me what he must be thinking and I laughed. Loudly.

"Oh my God, Edward," I said, choking on the laughter. "I just bought them a few days ago…you know… just in case. Geez!"

He searched my face and his body relaxed slightly. In the dim light, I could see a flush of color spread over his shoulders as he dropped his head to my chest and laughed.

"Really, Edward, what kind of girl do you think I am, hmm?" I teased, quirking an eyebrow as he raised his head, meeting my eyes with a sheepish yet relieved expression.

"Sorry," he murmured and rolled to open the drawer, finding the shiny new box of unopened condoms.

The ripping of packaging filled the room before he was covering me once again, settling between my legs. I tightened my thighs on his sides and reached up to pull him down to me.

A groan of pleasure rose up from both of us as he shifted and entered me. Pleasurable as it was, it had been quite a while. As Edward pushed forward, filling me completely, I tensed involuntarily at the intrusion and he froze.

"Are you okay?" he whispered in my ear, gently brushing the hair away from my face with the tips of his fingers.

As my body began to relax, accepting the delicious burning stretch, I ran my hands over his shoulders and felt the muscles trembling below my palms.

"Yes," I said, turning to kiss his cheek. "I'm okay. It's been a while, that's all."

Edward made a noise in the back of his throat and I wasn't sure if it was in response to what I said or the fact he was trying not to hurt me.

"It's okay, Edward," I said, lifting my head to kiss his collarbone. I slid my hands down over the smooth, taut muscle of his back to find the rounded mound of his backside.

Edward whimpered in my ear when I shifted my hips, allowing him to slide further inside, and I tightened my hands, pulling him against my body. My legs curled around his thighs as he began to move, setting his rhythm, and we lost ourselves in one another.

Words were lost in the whispers of our bodies, but when I fell over the cliff once again, I wasn't alone in the ecstasy.

Afterward, we lay curled around one another in the tangle of sheets and limbs.

"I love you, Edward," I murmured into the darkness and felt his ribs expand under my cheek as I rested on his chest.

He bent to kiss the top of my head. "I love you, too."

I smiled, feeling safe and loved, warm in my bed next to this wonderful man, and began to allow sleep to take over, pulling me under its black oblivion.

"Bella," he whispered so quietly I almost didn't hear him.

"Hmm?" I hummed sleepily but didn't move from my position in the curve of his shoulder. His hand never stopped its circuit of light rubbing over the knobby protrusions of my spine.

"Come home with me," he said. "To Washington. To meet the rest of my family."

I shifted up on one elbow to look down at him. The soft white-gray light of the full moon filtered through the window and threw his features in shadow.

"When are you going?" I asked, reaching out to trace his elegantly arched eyebrow, the high bone of his cheek, and slightly crooked bridge of his nose.

"I leave on the twenty-eighth and will be back on the first. The party's on the thirtieth."

The hopeful expression on his face was impossible to miss even in the barely there light of the room.

Edward pulled me on top of his body, hugging me to him.

I took a deep breath, knowing that I had taken the last of my vacation time with Olivia's most recent hospitalization, but wanting desperately to tell him that I would go.

Bending, I brought my lips to his and kissed him gently, then settled back and rested my chin on the center of his chest.

"Would it be okay with you for now if I said that I'll try?" I said finally, staring up at his silhouette, my voice barely above a whisper. "I want to go with you, Edward, but I don't have any vacation time left. I used the last of what I had when Olivia got sick this last time.

"But, that's a holiday weekend and I'm supposed to be off that Monday anyway. Olivia's last day of school is a few days before, so…." I trailed off as the things that I would need to do to make it happen ran through my mind in rapid fire succession.

"Okay," Edward said, kissing my forehead and tightening his arms around me. "I know you'll go if you can, and for now…that's enough."

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**So...hope you all enjoyed their "adult time".**

**Thank you to all of you who have read, reviewed, fav'd and rec'd this story to your friends. I so very much appreciate it...I have to send a special shout out to Charmie77 for rec'ing NYN on her blog The Fanfiction Rebels. There is an author interview and character interview with Edward...check it out. **http:/fanfictionrebels(.)blogspot(.)com/2010/07/friday-rec-need-you-now-by(.)html?zx=fd4f5ff5156e8f3d

**The next chapter will post Thursday...**

**Until next time**

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1**

**please visit www(.)cff(.)org for further information on Cystic Fibrosis and its treatments.  
**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: HI! Okay first things first, I apologize for the delay in updating...as I had said a couple of chapters ago, both Jessica1971 and I have been on vacation over the last two weeks. Unfortunately, that has meant that one or the other of us has not had internet access, it simply couldn't be helped. Thank you all for being patient. I hope this EPOV was worth the wait...**

**As always my thanks to the wonderful, beautiful Jessica1971 for her beta skills. She's awesomesauce!**

**Disclaimer: You all know it already but gotta be said, I don't own Twilight only SM has that honor. No copyright infringement is intended by my playing with the characters.  
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Chapter 19

Morning confessions and breakfast apologies...

EPOV

Light streamed in from somewhere above my head, making it appear that everything outside my eyelids was ablaze.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not exactly what would be considered coherent first thing in the morning, but this sudden intrusion of light on my retinas confused me; even in that place between sleep and wake, I was conscious of the fact that the window in my apartment didn't catch the morning sun.

I suddenly realized I wasn't in my bed and froze. Waking up confused in a strange bed causes a fury of strange sensations; it's a bit like an out of body experience.

As my mind slowly became more aware of my surroundings, I realized I was not only _not _in my bed, but I was not alone in this strange bed. I was in fact wrapped around the small form of a woman who was currently curled on her side.

The warm body moved, pressing a round bottom into an area of my body that was waking up much more quickly than the rest of me, and I sucked in a breath at the sensation.

Thankfully that action brought the scents of vanilla and lavender and something else, an underlying scent that even in my sleep addled state I knew to be uniquely Bella. My hips shifted against Bella's bottom of their own accord as my body reacted to the onslaught of images from the night before.

"Good morning," she mumbled, her voice muffled in her pillow, but I could hear the slight rasp of sleep. It was incredibly sexy.

I sighed, relishing the feel of Bella's body against me, and tightened the arm around her waist as she pressed herself against me and hummed a contented sigh.

"Mmm, good morning," I said, nuzzling my nose into the soft hair at the back of her head before pushing it away with my chin and kissing the warm skin at the juncture of her neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply. "I could really get used to waking up like this."

A smile spread across my face and I felt as though my heart would burst with happiness as Bella giggled and mumbled a 'me, too'.

Bella rolled onto her back and stretched languidly, arms above her head and toes pointed. The breath caught in my chest as the sheet slipped down to just above her hips and I had a full view of her gorgeous body.

My eyes roamed over her body, drinking in the beauty of every soft curve and sharp line laid before me. The soft cream of her skin glowed in the morning sun. Her breasts rose high on her chest as she stretched, the light pink flesh of her nipples tightened in the chill of the room.

She was simply stunning.

Unable to stop myself, I reached out and placed a hand on the flat expanse of her abdomen. A quiver in the muscle of her stomach and a giggle rippled out of her throat as I moved my hand to her side. Her arms immediately clamped down on my hand and she looked up at me wide eyed, her mouth forming an O in surprise, her body frozen.

"Hmm…you're not ticklish are you?" I quirked an eyebrow and pursed my lips, trying not to laugh as another giggle erupted from Bella's throat.

"No," she squeaked as her hand shot to mine, trying to hold it in place as I curled my fingers into her ribs. "Don't! Please don't do that!"

"And just why would I _not _want to do that, hm?" I asked, rolling to half cover her with my body, my thigh laid across both of hers, pinning her to the bed as I began to assault her ribs.

"Gah! Because….ahhhhh," she giggled as I found yet another extremely ticklish spot a bit higher on her right side.

Her squirming and bucking under me was causing a much more pleasurable friction to occur between our bodies and we both stopped, panting and staring into each other's eyes.

Bella's fingers were wrapped around both my forearms as she had tried, unsuccessfully, to push my hands away from her body.

Slowly sliding her hands up my arms and behind my neck, she pulled me to her.

"I love you," I groaned just before covering her mouth with my own. She sighed as my tongue darted out, tasting, teasing, and requesting permission to deepen the kiss.

Bella's fingers threaded into the hair at the nape of my neck and she whimpered as she opened to me.

Sliding a hand down her ribs to grasp the soft flesh of her thigh, I hitched her leg over my hip and settled between her legs.

"Oh, god," I moaned against her lips as my tip grazed her overheated core. My head dropped to her shoulder as I realized that she was already wet.

I rolled away reluctantly, reaching into the drawer once more and smiling despite myself at the memory of the night before when I realized I had no protection with me. In my defense, I had no idea that we would have the house to ourselves, thus I was unprepared. Honestly, the fates just don't usually work in my favor that much, but as it was, Rose went home with Em and Olivia begged to stay with Bella's parents.

When Bella told me there was a box of condoms in her bedside table the night before, I froze, a jolt of unfettered jealously running through my body like I had never experienced before. Evidently it reflected on my face, even in the dim light of the room, because Bella recognized where my thoughts had gone and laughed, teasing me about my assumptions.

I ripped the packaging and began to roll the condom on and froze when Bella's hand shot out to stop me. I looked at her, confused to see her smiling broadly and moving across the bed toward me.

"Let me do that," she whispered as she knelt beside me.

She bent to press a kiss to my chest and I groaned at the feel of her fingers ghosting over me as she deftly completed the task.

If I wasn't thinking I had died and gone to heaven before, I surely had at this point.

"Bella," I said, my voice barely more than a strangled whisper as she straddled me.

I immediately grasped her hips, staring up into the depth of her brown eyes, seeing them dark with desire and shining with excitement.

When she reached behind her to wrap her small hand around my shaft, it was all I could do not to lose it then and there. My eyes rolled back as she rubbed herself over me and then sank down, taking me fully inside in one quick movement.

She leaned forward to kiss me and began moving against me. I slid my hands to her thighs and my fingers tightened of their own accord, biting into the toned muscle and butter soft flesh as she set a painfully slow rhythm, moving to the point I was almost fully outside the warmth of her body before thrusting down and rolling her hips when we were completely joined again.

It was a beautiful torture and I was totally at her mercy as she worked my body expertly. With nothing more than a simple touch, Bella could have my entire body reacting and begging for her to never stop.

My sexual history was not extensive, not by any means, but I had never been with a woman who made me feel the way I did with Bella.

"Oh god, Bella," I groaned as I opened my eyes to take in the sight of her riding me, her breasts bouncing as her rhythm began to quicken.

I reached up to cup them both in my hands, enjoying the weight and feeling of the hardened peaks against my palm. I rolled the nipples between finger and thumb, tugging gently. I smirked when Bella's back arched, pushing into my touch as she moaned - loudly.

I groaned and shifted my hips upward as the image from the night before when I first discovered, to my great pleasure, that Bella had recently waxed and was almost completely bare flashed in my mind. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to distract myself as just the memory of that moment was quite nearly my undoing.

Feeling the tightening low in my abdomen, I knew I wouldn't be able to hold back much longer. Sliding my hands to the apex of her hip and thigh, I moved my thumb in tiny circles, making my way down.

Bella sucked in a breath as I found the swollen nub and began to circle it with my thumb, my fingers pressing into the muscles of her inner thigh, spreading her legs just a little wider as she continued to move on me.

"Ah…oh, god," she cried and began to tighten around me as she moved faster.

Arching her back, her hips rocked forward slightly, changing the position just enough to allow me to reach a different, deeper spot, and with a movement of my own, Bella's hands were in her hair and she cried out as she found her release.

Before she could ride it out completely, I seized the opportunity to grasp her waist and flip her to her back and drove myself deep inside.

Bella cried out, wrapping both legs and arms around me as I pumped into her body. The feel of her walls tightening and releasing, milking me as I moved inside her, was my final undoing. With one last thrust, my body tensed and released, spilling in a violent yet unbelievably wonderful torrent.

Collapsing on top of her, body completely spent and breaths coming in short gasps of air, I began to float back to some form of consciousness and slipped from the warmth of her body. I felt her arms tighten around me as she kissed my shoulder.

"I love you, Bella," I whispered against the slick skin of her neck, kissing her there softly.

"I love you, too, Edward," she said, "so much."

I lifted my head and my heart clenched in my chest as I saw tears brimming in her eyes.

"Bella," I said, brushing the tips of my fingers over her cheek. "Baby, what's wrong? I didn't hurt you, did I? I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have been so-"

"No, no, Edward," she shook her head, cutting me off and cupping my cheek. "You didn't hurt me. I just…"

Her voice broke; she swallowed and shook her head. My heart broke as I could see her losing the fight and a single tear streaked over her temple; I brushed it away with a fingertip.

"What is it, sweetheart?" I asked, turning to kiss her palm. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm….sorry. I'm fine, really I am," she sniffled slightly. "It's just…to feel so much so quickly…I love you, Edward. I love you so much it scares me."

I felt my heart screech to a stop before it slammed against my ribs in a rapid staccato and I sucked in a breath at the sensation. It took me a few moments to be able to regain my ability to speak.

"Bella," I said, feeling the lump rising in my throat and swallowing to try to dislodge it before continuing. "I know that things have moved really fast," I paused, searching for the right words to explain how I felt about her and caressing her face, catching another tear as it fell from the corner of her eye.

"I have…..well, I think I've been waiting for you my whole life, and now I've found you and I can't really feel that it's too fast because for me it doesn't feel that way. We can't live worrying about the accepted standard of how much time it takes for someone to fall in love. You know better than I do how quickly life can change and how it throws things at you that you don't expect. I don't think that falling in love is something anyone can put a time limit on by saying that this amount is right and this amount is not. How can we really say how much time is enough? If it's right between two people, what does it really matter how much time it took them to get there?

"And Bella, nothing in my life has ever felt more right than to tell you 'I love you', that's all that matters to me. To make sure that you know how much you mean to me….how much Olivia means to me. I don't care that it's only taken a few weeks to get here. It doesn't make it any less true, does it?"

The loss of her husband and the years of caring for a child as ill as Olivia gave her first hand experience of just how quickly and brutally life could change. She stared up at me for a long moment, searching my face and running her hands slowly over my back.

"No, it doesn't make it any less true," she finally whispered and lifted her head to kiss me. "After Mike….I didn't believe I would ever truly be capable of feeling…feeling so much for anyone, but I do….with you. I love you so much, Edward."

I brought my lips to hers once again slowly, reverently, pouring everything I felt for her into that one kiss. When we broke apart we were both gasping for air and I leaned my forehead against hers as I tried to catch my breath.

"Soooo," she said, regaining her composure, and it seemed her sense of humor had returned as she grinned up at me. "How do you feel about having breakfast with my parents?"

I narrowed my eyes at her and the teasing twinkle was back in her eye.

"Are you serious?" I asked, feeling a sinking sensation at having to deal with Renee again so early in the morning.

"Yep," Bella giggled and nodded her head. "I'm supposed to meet them at the restaurant inside their hotel at ten for breakfast and to pick Olivia up. I think you were talking to Em and Mike, Sr. whenever we were discussing that little tidbit of info."

"I don't have a change of clothes, Bella," I said, suddenly realizing this might be my only way out of having to see Renee again today. "Don't you think it's going to be a bit obvious if I show up in the same clothes I had on-"

"Oh!" she squeaked and pushed my shoulders, wriggling off the bed before I could comprehend what she was doing.

She grabbed a black silk robe from the chair, throwing it over her shoulders and wrapping it around her body as she dashed across the room.

"No worries. I have something I think will work just fine," she called over her shoulder from the doorway.

I rolled to my back, groaning and throwing an arm over my eyes as she stepped out of the room.

I looked up when I heard her enter once again to see her holding what appeared to be a dark blue button down and a pair of distressed jeans. I looked from her to the clothes in her arms and quirked an eyebrow in curiosity as she crossed to the bed.

"I think these will work," she said, placing them on the corner of the bed and smiling. "Rosalie picked these up for Em but realized they were sized wrong after she got them home and I remembered she hadn't taken them back yet. I didn't know for sure but thought they might be the right size for you, and the shirt I bought for Phil for his birthday next month. I figured I could just replace it. You two are about the same size so I thought if you wanted you could wear these."

She looked at me hopefully and shrugged a shoulder and I smiled.

"Come here," I said, raising on one elbow and crooking a finger to call her to me.

"What?" she asked, sitting down beside me on the bed with a wary look of amusement.

I placed an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to me. Reaching up with my free hand to wrap around her neck, caressing the column of her graceful throat with my thumb, I leaned in to kiss her gently.

"I love you, that's what," I said, gaining a giggle from her and another quick peck.

"Love you too," she said as she stood. "Why don't you take a shower and I'll go make us some coffee."

I reached out to grab her by the wrist before she could get away. She turned to smile down at me as I caressed the inside of her wrist with my thumb.

"How about we take a shower together?" I asked, letting my voice drop suggestively. "You know water conservation and all…."

Hand in hand, Bella and I entered the small restaurant inside the hotel where Renee and Phil were staying.

"My fingers still look like a prune," she snickered and I chuckled, running a thumb over her palm.

Having taken me up on the offer of water conservation, out of her great desire of preserving the environment of course, we had stayed in the shower until the water ran cold and the skin on the tips of our fingers and toes was puckered.

"Hmm…maybe if anyone notices they'll think you were doing dishes this morning?" I said helpfully.

"Yeah, maybe," Bella snorted, shaking her head and leaning against my shoulder.

Bella looked up and waved as she spotted her parents along with Olivia across the room and we made our way toward them.

"Good morning, you two," Phil said, smiling welcomingly and placing a hand on Renee's hand atop the table.

"Mom, Edward!" Olivia said, skipping out of her chair as we reached the table.

"Good morning, Phil, Mom. Hey, pumpkin," Bella said, stooping to catch Olivia in her arms.

I could hear Bella whispering to Olivia but couldn't make out the words. Olivia nodded and answered her mother in low tones, casting a glance in my direction, her eyes shining with mischief and a look that plainly said she had a secret.

"Good morning, Olivia," I chuckled as I smiled at Olivia. "Good morning, Mr. Dwyer, Mrs. Dwyer," I said, turning to both Renee and Phil, shaking Phil's hand and nodding a greeting to Renee.

"Come on now, Edward," Phil said, laughing. "We told you last night there was no reason for all that formality. Isn't that right, Renee?"

"Yes, absolutely," Renee said, smiling at me hesitantly. "Renee and Phil will do just fine."

My mouth dropped open but I quickly snapped it shut, shooting a look in Bella's direction but she was still locked in conversation with Olivia.

"Um…okay, thank you," I said, completely taken off guard by Renee's apparent change in attitude.

Bella stood and smiled at me, obviously she had heard the exchange. I returned her smile and looked down at Olivia as I felt a small hand slip inside mine.

"Come on, Edward," she said, pulling me toward her chair. "You have to sit beside me."

Bella snickered from behind me and took the seat beside Phil. Olivia continued to chatter away as I held out her chair and scooted it back toward the table before taking my seat between her and Bella.

Conversation seemed to flow easy enough around the table as I became a bit more comfortable with being around Bella's mother and step-father.

Phil was a nice guy and I found that we had a few things in common. I even have to admit that when Renee didn't seem to want to rip my heart out and feed it to me raw, she was quite interesting.

I was surprised to find out that Renee and my mother shared many of the same tastes in art and that Renee dabbled in painting herself.

Thankfully that gave us a few topics of conversation that seemed much safer ground to cover than anything to do with my relationship with her daughter.

I could see where Bella got her biting sense of humor as I realized that Renee could actually be quite funny.

Bella and Olivia excused themselves from the table when we finished as Olivia needed to go to the restroom, which left me at the table alone with Bella's parents. I slowly sank back into my seat with a tightening in the pit of my stomach.

"Edward," Renee said as soon as Bella and Olivia were out of hearing distance.

I grimaced and felt my heart drop, realizing that maybe Renee's attitude wasn't as changed toward me as I originally thought.

I turned to meet Renee's gaze straight on and was surprised to see a look of trepidation on her face.

"Edward, I owe you an apology," she said.

I saw Phil reach out to take her hand once again and sat frozen in my seat as I tried to make sense of what I had just heard. Surely I had not heard her correctly.

"I'm sorry for being so horrid last night." Renee wrapped her free hand around my arm and squeezed gently. "My girls are very special and I sometimes forget that they're adults; that they are capable of making choices for themselves."

Renee paused and released my arm as she dropped her eyes to the table. Taking a deep breath, her eyes closed for a brief moment as though she was choosing her words carefully before continuing.

"I'm sorry I didn't trust Bella's judgment," she said, her voice trembling slightly. "I was afraid that you were just some smooth talker like that last….well, I didn't really think you could be all that Bella made you out to be. Then I met you and well…." She laughed uncomfortably and gestured and shrugged. "I'm old, not dead."

I chuckled and coughed a bit, uncomfortable myself and chanced a glance in Phil's direction. I was relieved to see him shaking his head and laughing as well.

"But then," Renee said, calling my attention back to her, "I watched you with Olivia and I listened to the way Olivia talked about you, not just Bella. My granddaughter is a sweet, loving little girl and she cares for you dearly."

"I feel the same way about her," I said, feeling my heart swell with the thoughts that Olivia had spoken to her grandparents about me.

"I know you do," Renee said, smiling at me genuinely. "That's why I owe you an apology. You love them."

She said it with complete conviction, and though it wasn't a question, I felt compelled to respond.

"Yes, ma'am," I said, my voice thick with emotion and I coughed, clearing my throat. "I do, very much."

Renee nodded, "And that's why I owe you an apology. You just make sure you take care of them, they need someone that can love them and be strong for them when they need it."

"I will," I nodded and looked from her to Phil.

Bella and Olivia returned to the table with the usual flourish of giggles and high pitched chatter that seemed to follow Olivia wherever she went.

I caught Bella's eye and her brow furrowed in question as she looked around the table from me to her mother and Phil. I shook my head slightly, smiling and hoping to convey I would explain later.

The rest of our breakfast went off without a hitch as we settled into a comfortable flow of conversation.

Bella made plans to take her parents to the airport the following day as we went back up to their room to get Olivia's bag and paraphernalia. A half hour later, we said our goodbyes to Phil and Renee as I closed the trunk on my car after placing all of Olivia's things inside.

Once we arrived back at Bella's house, Bella scuttled Olivia off to her room to lie down amid her protests that she wasn't tired, though it was obvious that she was pretty much exhausted after the performance the night before and the morning with her grandparents.

I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and leaned against the counter as I twisted the cap and tipped it up, thinking about the interaction with Renee over breakfast.

I shook my head and chuckled despite myself. Regardless of the impression I had the night before, Renee Dwyer succeeded in completely obliterating any notion I had of ever understanding women, especially mothers.

I was still trying to reconcile all that Renee had said and the two very different sides of her I had met as Bella reentered the room.

"Alright, mister," she said, crossing to where I stood, snaking her arms around my middle and leaning into me. "Are you going to explain to me what was going on when Olivia and I came back to the table now?"

I bent to kiss the tip of nose.

"Well," I started, setting my bottle on the counter and wrapped my arms around her waist. "Your mom apologized for how she acted last night."

"What?" Bella asked, seemingly as stunned as I had been when Renee said the words to me. "Are you serious?"

"Completely," I said, moving my hands up and down her back slowly. "She basically said that she was sorry and that she could see how much I cared for you and Olivia."

Bella smiled and reached up to touch my face, "I think she would have to be blind not to have seen that, Edward."

"True as that may be," I said, running a hand through her thick hair and curling a long lock around my fingers. "I'm happy that she noticed anyway. Regardless, I think things are okay with your mom and me."

"Good," Bella said, smiling widely as she looked up at me with eyes like melted chocolate. "Because I don't plan on letting you go anywhere, so she'll just have to get used to you anyway."

"Glad to hear it," I murmured, dipping to bring my lips to hers in a slow kiss.

"Mmmm….ugh," I groaned, breaking our kiss and leaning my forehead against hers. "I've got to go. I have to be at the hospital in," I glanced over her shoulder to check the clock on the opposite wall, "two hours."

"Oh," Bella sighed, turning her head to rest her cheek against my chest. "I wish you could just stay."

"Me too, sweetheart. Me, too," I said, tightening my arms around her and burying my face in her hair, taking a deep breath, hoping to hold onto her scent so that maybe it would stay with me through the next couple of days.

"I'll talk with my supervisor first thing Tuesday," she whispered. "I think I might be able to work something out so Olivia and I can go with you to Washington. Maybe we can even work in a visit with my dad while we're out there."

A thrill shot through me at the possibility of Bella and Olivia going home with me in a couple of weeks. That was quickly succeeded by the jolt of fear as the last of her words sank in and a memory of Bella describing her father came to mind.

"Um…Bella," I said, hoping that my voice sounded a lot more confident that I felt at the moment. "Didn't you tell me your dad is a cop?"

"Yeah," she said slowly and tried to pull back, but I held her tightly to me so she couldn't see my face. "Why?"

"That means he has a gun, right?"

Bella stiffened in my arms for a moment before I felt her body begin to shake against me and I realized she was laughing.

"It's not funny," I said indignantly, but unable to stop from chuckling myself. "I'm not so sure your mother wouldn't have shot me last night if she had the opportunity. Your dad's a cop, Bella. He knows how to kill people and dispose of the body, or make it look like an accident if he wanted."

"Oh my God, Edward," she laughed. "My dad is not going to kill you, for Pete's sake. You'll like Charlie. He's pretty cool and absolutely nothing like my mother. He's protective but he doesn't try to butt in as much as my mom."

"So you say," I scoffed, causing Bella to laugh even harder.

"Hey," she said, still chuckling but trying hard to control her face. "I have to meet your whole family _and_ the Governor, so I think you can deal with one more parental unit on my account."

She had a point.

"Okay," I said, nodding and kissing her forehead. "You're right. If I can win Renee Dwyer over, then Charlie Swan should be a piece of cake, right?"

"Right," she said, hugging me tightly.

We stood for a long moment in Bella's kitchen, neither one willing to be the first to let go of the other.

"Okay, baby," I murmured, regretting the necessity of leaving but knowing there was nothing to be done about it I had to go to work. "I've really got to go. I don't want to, but I have to."

"I know," she whispered and tilted her head back to look at me, smiling.

I bent and ghosted my nose along the bridge of hers softly, my lips whispering over hers before actually touching in a soft, sensual kiss. I didn't push to deepen the kiss, wanting only to tell her with my touch how much I loved her, my hands slid over her back and shoulders to frame her face between my palms.

Pulling back only long enough to whisper 'I love you' before covering her mouth once again. Bella sighed and tightened her arms around my waist and I felt her hands curl in the fabric of my shirt.

Wanting to stay but knowing I needed to go, I finally broke the kiss, breathing heavily as I kissed one cheek then the other.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I murmured. "I really have to go."

Bella nodded, her cheek rubbing over the stubble covering my jaw. "I know. I'm going to miss you, though."

"I'll call you tonight, okay?" I said, pressing my lips to the soft area just behind her ear and smiling when she moaned low in her throat.

"Okay," she whispered.

Reluctantly, I pulled away and with a final chaste kiss and exchanged 'I love you's' I made my way to the car, waving as I slipped behind the wheel and smiling to myself as I watched Bella close the front door.

Our relationship had moved rapidly, but I meant every word I said to Bella earlier that morning. Nothing had ever felt more right than what I felt for her and Olivia.

As I made my way toward downtown, my mind drifted to thoughts of what it would be like at the end of a long shift to not go back to an empty apartment alone but to find myself crawling into a bed warmed by Bella's presence. The very idea brought a smile to my face, but along with it came a strange yearning for it not to be simply an idea but a reality.

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**Hope you enjoyed that...Thank you to all who are reading and reviewing, alerting or favoriting the story. There is an outtake in the works. It's being done specially for ladysharkey1 and jahdsmama...if your interested in seeing the conversation Edward had with his mother after Esme spent the day with Bella during Olivia's procedure well...****If you don't have me on author alert you might want to do that. **

**I have to send out a thank you to both Charmie77 and RCD-Alice (aka. the little fic-pusher)for recently rec'ing NYN on their blogs. You ladies rock! Thank you!  
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**The next chapter is finished and I will post it later this week.  
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**Until then...**

**xoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Hi all! Sorry for the delay. I could give you the laundry list of reasons the chapter was delayed but it wouldn't change the fact that I'm just now updating. But I will apologize and tell you this...RL is insanity at this moment, so I will not be giving a specific update day but will update as soon as chapters are finished and my wonderful beta has worked her magic on them. There will be, to the best of my ability, one update a week until the finish. During the author interview on The Fanfiction Rebels blog I gave a chapter number for the length of NYN, if you did not see that my plan is for this story to be about 30 chapters (give or take a chapter or two) plus 2 epilogues...**

**Huge thanks to my beta extraordinaire Jessica1971. Thank you for way more than your ability to repair my abysmal punctuation.  
**

**On to the story...  
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Chapter 20

Heart-to-Heart...

BPOV

The past several days had pretty much been bedlam with Olivia's class party, awards ceremony, and all manner of craziness that always goes with the end of a school year. Not to mention changing my regularly scheduled patient visits to accommodate the trip to Washington with Edward. To say things had been a little bit strained would be an understatement.

Adding to my frustration, Edward had not stayed at my house again since the night after Olivia's recital. In all honesty, it wasn't as if we had been provided the opportunity. We hadn't spent a lot of time together during daylight hours, much less have a chance for a nighttime rendezvous.

It was strange how suddenly I needed the sound of his soft snore in my ear and his warm breath washing over my skin to sleep. The fact that we only spent one night together had no affect on the way my body longed for his or the peace I found sleeping wrapped in his arms. It was comforting to have that feeling of peace, to feel safe and protected.

Until meeting Edward, I had not realized just how much I missed having that in my life.

Edward and I had discussed it at length, and since our flight out of Atlanta was at such an early hour and he lived much closer to the airport, we decided it would be easier if Olivia and I spent the night at his apartment.

The only problem was that the decision presented an issue we had not at that point broached.

I had 'the talk' with Olivia several months prior, so she understood the concept of where babies came from and what to be expecting in the way of Aunt Flo showing up in the next couple of years. Granted she had lived in a home with two women for the majority of her life; there were certain things she understood imperatively from first-hand experience, others not so much.

Rose and I had a mutual agreement from the moment she moved in and we both felt that it was for Olivia's safety as much as for the impropriety of having a revolving door on our home.

Not even Emmett had ever stayed the night, which Rosalie assured was actually his doing. Though Rose had spent several nights with him, he would not stay overnight in my home out of respect. Emmett had roots firmly planted in the old south and I appreciated his discretion and care in how their relationship might affect my daughter.

Those feelings of respect for my home and daughter had not, however, stopped his incessant teasing of Edward and me after interrupting our first kiss when Olivia wasn't in the room, of course.

Before meeting Edward, there really hadn't been a need to bring the subject of my personal life up with Olivia. Neither of the two men I dated since Mike's death ever stayed overnight, even when Olivia was away.

So it simply was not an issue I had discussed with Olivia. Now the subject was presenting itself and I was reluctant to bridge that gap with my daughter.

When Olivia and I had 'the talk', I tried to teach her about respecting her body and I wanted her to understand it was something that should only be given to someone you love and who loves you in return. That in giving someone that part of yourself you were in fact giving them a very special gift.

I tried to convey to her that it should only be with someone she was in a long term committed relationship with, as in marriage, and not just because a boy may pressure her into making a decision in which she wasn't prepared to deal with the consequences.

I made a point of telling her that the best course of action in protecting herself from things that would change her life forever was abstinence. I was praying she would choose to wait until she was married, but also knew that it was a gamble with her life to not give her all the information she would need.

As a nurse, I firmly believed knowledge was power, especially when it comes to protecting oneself against HIV or other venereal diseases, not to mention unplanned pregnancy. It's a scary thing becoming a woman and I firmly believe in the whole idea of educating young people about how to protect themselves.

The ideal of teaching abstinence along with giving knowledge of how to have safe sex if that is the choice made are all great when it's in the abstract and done in the vein of educating Olivia about the ways of life as a woman; it's something else entirely when it involves the very real situation of my _own _sex life and discussing it with my pre-teen daughter.

I could still feel the heat in my cheeks at the memory of how that conversation had gone a couple days after the night Edward and I spent together.

"_So…do you understand what I'm saying?" I asked, gripping the cup of coffee tightly in my hands as I watched Olivia's expression go through a myriad of emotions. "Are you okay with Edward staying over sometimes?"_

_I had broached the subject of Edward staying overnight and hoped that I had done it delicately enough that she understood without scarring her for life with images that I _did not_ want her to have of my most intimate moments. _

_She sat across the table from me with her naturally arched brows furrowed as she stared a hole in the table top. _

"_Um…yeah, I guess so," she said, her wide brown eyes darting up and back down quickly. _

_She sat staring at the table for a long moment as I began to relax infinitesimally, sipping my cooling coffee, thinking the conversation had gone a lot better than I had anticipated._

_Olivia wasn't old enough to remember how things were in the house before Mike passed and most of her friends parents were divorced with only a couple who were remarried. _

_Girls begin to go through so many changes at Olivia's age; one of my biggest concerns had been that she wouldn't be comfortable having a man in the house so much as it wasn't something she was used to, having lived with only Rosalie and I for as long as she could remember. _

"_Are you and Edward going to get married?" she asked suddenly. _

"_What?" I asked, my voice rising much more than I expected and her head snapped up. "I…uh…I…..Olivia, why would you ask that?"_

"_Well… I…you said that a guy and a girl shouldn't…..well, you know…" she trailed off uncomfortably. "Not until they were married, so I thought maybe you were going to...get married." _

_Closing my eyes and groaning to myself, realizing that while I believed emphatically what I had told her about waiting until you were married, that as a teenager or young woman she should not give herself to a boy without a true commitment on his part, such as marriage, that same sacrament did not necessarily apply in the same way to my relationship with Edward without it sounding as though I was teaching a double standard, because technically that's exactly what it was. _

_Taking a deep breath and opening my eyes to meet Olivia's gaze straight on, I started. _

"_Olivia, everything I've told you about giving that gift to someone, that it should only be with someone you love…well, I believe that, and even though marriage is not something we've talked about yet, Edward and I are adults and we're very much committed to one another. I don't know what the future holds, honey, but I can tell you I love Edward very much, and he loves me."_

_She nodded, but it was obvious there was more on her mind as she dropped her gaze to the table, but she wouldn't say anything further. If she had more to say or ask she would do it, but she had to do it in her own time. _

I was suddenly pulled back to the present moment as Mr. Volturi coughed violently and I grimaced, pulling away slightly as the sound thundered through my stethoscope. Waiting until he was as comfortable as he could be, I completed my exam before straightening and plastering a smile on my face.

"Alright, Mr. Volturi," I said, patting his hand as I stood from the side of his bed, looping my stethoscope around my neck before putting my charting materials back in my duffel. "I think everything looks fine. Now, I'm going to be leaving in the morning for a few days, but the nurse on call is Leah – you've seen her before." I smiled to myself as I heard his snort of displeasure at the mention of Leah's name. "She'll be on call for anything you might need over the weekend. I'll be back to visit on Wednesday, okay?"

I knew that Mr. Volturi and Leah didn't exactly always see eye-to-eye, but she was a competent nurse even if her personality was a bit abrasive.

"Hmph," Aro huffed and drew a ragged breath. "I suppose…"

He trailed off with a dismissive wave of his hand and I bit my lip to stifle the giggle at the grimace of distaste on his face.

"So…your beautiful daughter….she is going….with you?" he asked, his voice reedy and thin as he struggled with taking in enough oxygen.

"Yes, sir," I smiled, doing one last double check of the medications at his bedside. "She's really excited about the trip. My father lives a few hours outside of Seattle so he and his wife are taking a little time and meeting us out there, as well."

"Hmpf," he huffed, taking a long draw of oxygen through his nose. "Well, if you must….at least you'll be visiting…family."

I chuckled and patted his shoulder once again, catching sight of his mouth as it curved in a reluctant smile.

It was hard for me to watch him deteriorate and I couldn't imagine what it must be like for Jane and Alec. From the corner of my eye I caught a movement and looked up to see Jane wipe a stray tear away from her lashes, out of sight of her father in the doorway to his room. His condition was worsening and I didn't think it would be long before I would be receiving the call that his end had finally come.

As for today, though weakened, his spirits were good or at least good enough to give me a difficult time about leaving him in the care of one of his least favorite nurses.

"Okay, well, I think that's everything," I said, zipping and shouldering my duffel. "Is there anything I can do for you before I leave?"

Releasing a tiny sigh, Mr. Volturi shook his head, whispering 'no' as he grasped my hand in both of his and held it as tightly as his strength would allow.

I squeezed his reassuringly before releasing his hands with a final goodbye and stepping out of the room.

I found Jane waiting in the hall as I pulled the door closed behind me.

"He's getting worse," she said without preamble. "I know that it's expected, but…."

There was no way of denying the state of her father's condition and Jane was well aware that it was not one that would improve. Knowing that truth and coming to terms with losing her father were not one in the same, and my heart broke for her as I had no words that would take away the pain of what she was feeling. I reached out to take her hand and held it as she worked to get herself under control, all the while fighting my own emotions.

Mr. Volturi was one of my favorite patients and I would miss him dearly when he was gone, but that was nothing compared to the void it would leave in his children's lives. Even as adults, they would be left orphans without either of their parents and for that, if nothing else, I grieved for them probably more than for Mr. Volturi.

"You have the numbers for Leah, right?" I asked once Jane seemed in more control and she nodded.

"Yeah, I think," she sniffled, wiping under her eyes with a lace handkerchief that must have at one time been her mother's. "I'm sure Alec said he put the numbers in both our cell phones. Bella, thank you for being so wonderful with our father….it's meant a lot to all of us. You've helped make this a little easier."

"If I've helped in any small way, then that's all I wanted to do," I said, smiling and squeezing her hand once more before releasing her. "I'll be leaving tomorrow morning for the airport, so if there's anything you need before that you just call, okay?"

Jane nodded and daintily blew her nose into the handkerchief before smiling through the tears I could see still brimming in her eyes.

Making my way out to the car, I released the breath I had been holding, using the burn in my lungs to control my own torrent of emotions. The memory of my conversation with Olivia and the deterioration of Mr. Volturi were a bit much for one day.

I knew today would be a long, difficult one - they always were when preparing to leave my patients for a few days. Alleviating family's concerns on a routine day sometimes proved to be unbearable, but when they knew that the face which they had become accustomed to and comfortable with may not be the person that's going to be there for a period of time, it's a bit disconcerting for them.

Leah is truly a very good hospice nurse. Though her bedside manner left something to be desired, nothing could be said for her skills outside of how thorough and precise she was in practice. I knew I was leaving my patients in capable hands if there was an emergency.

I had made the adjustments to their regularly scheduled visits to fit the time I would be in Washington along with the holiday; there would be no reason - barring an emergency - that anyone actually required a visit while I was out of town.

Taking a long, deep cleansing breath, I finally reversed out of the drive and made my way to my final visit for the day.

Remnants of the conversation with Olivia were still fresh in my mind and made it difficult to concentrate on the task at hand as I finished up the last of my notes from the day, but I was finally finished and could close up shop and head home.

I smiled, making my way out of the office to my car when Edward's ringtone began to play from my phone.

"Hi, handsome," I said, smiling as I fumbled to get my keys out of my purse.

"Hi, beautiful," he chuckled. "How's my girl?"

"Are you asking about me or Olivia?" I quipped.

Edward laughed. "Both."

"We're fine," I said, laughing as I slid behind the wheel and started the engine. "So, what's up? Just couldn't spend another minute without hearing my voice, huh?" I teased.

"Something like that, yeah," he said and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"So you're going to meet us at your apartment around six, right?" I asked, smiling, my heart fluttering knowing I would be seeing him in a few short hours.

"Um…" he hesitated and I felt my stomach clench.

"Something's come up," I said, swallowing hard as images of Olivia's face and her excitement as she and I discussed preparing a special dinner for Edward before he got home the night before flashed through my mind.

"Yeah," he whispered. "I…I'm on my way to surgery. I'll be there as soon as I can. You have the key I gave you, right?"

Edward had given me a key to his apartment the week before when it was decided Olivia and I would be staying the night at his apartment.

"Uh…yeah, yeah I've got the key," I said, trying not to let my own disappointment seep into my voice.

"Bella, I'm sorry."

It wasn't a surprise really, and I knew that Edward had a lot of responsibility at the hospital; there was no reason for him to be apologizing for doing his job. I already accepted this as part of what our life would be like if we were going to make this work, and this was just one of the occasions that I had to put that acceptance into practice.

I took a deep breath and forced my voice to be more cheerful.

"Edward, don't apologize. You have a job to do, and we're going to be together so much over the next several days you're going to get sick of us and run screaming in the opposite direction."

I could hear him take a deep breath and blow it out slowly before speaking.

"That's not even a possibility, Bella," he said, his voice was low and soft. "I can't wait to spend the next several days with you both. I've missed you so much, sweetheart."

"I know….I've missed you, too. We'll be there when you get home, okay?"

"God…..it sounds so good to hear you say that," he said, his voice rough. "Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

I felt my breath catch and swallowed the lump in my throat before I could speak. "I love you, too, Edward."

~O~

Edward's apartment was huge, boasting an open and airy floor plan with floor to ceiling windows which provided a breathtaking view of the city.

It was quite beautiful, but definitely a bachelor's pad.

The furniture was modern and sleek, yet made of soft leather and comfortable. The kitchen with its marbled countertops, well stocked pantry, and stainless steel appliances was a dream for anyone who enjoyed cooking. Even though Edward wasn't exactly a gourmet, he could cook.

It was easy to see the different sides of Edward reflected in the décor.

Physically Edward was a work of art, hard lines and beautiful features, in sharp contrast with the softness of the man inside. His overwhelming intelligence broke through even the stuttered attempts he made at conversation when he was uncomfortable.

I smiled at the memory of when we first met; even then I couldn't help but think how adorable he really was, and how much of a shock it was that someone with all Edward had to offer would still be so unsure of himself.

Edward hadn't been positive what time he would finally arrive when I spoke with him earlier in the day. He didn't give any details on the surgery but he would have to ensure the patient was awake and doing well afterward, as well as speak with the parents and make his notes prior to being able to leave. It would be hours before he was free and that was if everything went well.

"So….why don't we go ahead and eat dinner," I said as I finished preparing the salad, trying to make my voice light and cheerful. "Then you can maybe get your night meds done before Edward actually gets here, yeah?"

Olivia had been quiet ever since I arrived home earlier to tell her that Edward would be late and that our surprise dinner plans were off for the night. She wanted to be understanding, but she had gotten her hopes up of having Edward's attention for the evening and she really wanted to impress him with her cooking prowess. Though I knew she was excited to see Charlie and Sue, I had my suspicions that some of her mood could be attributed to being a bit nervous about the other part of the trip.

I tried to bolster Olivia's spirits with the fact that we could still cook dinner if she wanted, reminding her that Edward would need to eat at some point.

Olivia loved to cook and had been after me for weeks to teach her how to make Grandmother Swan's Chicken Parmesan. It was a pretty straightforward recipe and Olivia had seen me make it hundreds of times. The dinner for Edward was the first time she had actually made the dish herself.

"Yeah, sure," she said, picking up silverware to finish setting the table.

I shook my head and followed her out of the kitchen with our completed dinner, resigned there wasn't anything more I could do to make her feel better about the situation. Like me, Olivia would have to come to terms with the circumstances of Edward's job requirements.

Olivia and I ate dinner in relative silence, which was really unusual for the two of us. It was rare that Olivia didn't have some story to tell from the day and I watched her as she pushed her food around her plate without really actually eating anything.

"There's something else bothering you, isn't there?" I asked. Her head snapped up and she stared at me with wide eyes.

She slowly nodded and I could see her eyes were shining with tears. I turned to her and pulled her into my lap, holding her close.

"What's wrong, baby? Tell me," I crooned, kissing the top of her head as she wrapped her arms around my middle and clung to me.

"Mom, do you still love Daddy?"

My entire body stiffened, frozen in place and time as her words washed over me. I swallowed, working hard to loosen the tightness in my throat threatening to choke me and took a long deep breath. My immediate reaction was to say 'of course', and while it was true I didn't think that was exactly what she was asking.

"Why?" I asked, stroking her hair as she rested against my chest.

"Sometimes….sometimes I can't remember him," she said so softly I had to struggle to make sure I heard her correctly. "I used to remember little things, you know, like the color of his eyes or what his laugh sounded like. There's lots of stuff I don't remember I guess 'cause I was so little, but I remembered that.

"But…," she took a deep, stuttering breath, "it just gets harder to remember him. I love Edward….but I don't want to forget Daddy."

The sound of her voice as it broke tore my heart from my chest. Olivia was so little when Mike passed away; I tried so hard to keep his memory alive for her, but there was the inevitable fading of him from her life in so many ways regardless of the pictures she saw or the stories I told.

I held her for a long time, trying to gain a small amount of control on my own emotions all the while working out how to explain that it was okay to love Edward and do so without losing the memories of her father.

"Olivia," I began, keeping my voice as soft and even as possible. "I will love your father for the rest of my life. He was a good man and he loved you and me very much. When he died, a piece of me died with him and…" I paused to take a breath and steady myself as the emotions of losing Mike washed over me.

"I love him still, very much," I said, placing my hands on her shoulders to push her away slightly so I could look into her eyes. "That doesn't mean that there isn't room for Edward in my heart, just like there's room for both of them in your heart. You don't have to love one and not the other, Olivia. And you certainly don't have to try to not remember you father because Edward is a part of your life now. Edward would never want you to do that, okay?"

She stared at me for a long time before nodding her head and a look of relief flooded her face. I hugged her to me once again before sending her off to run through her nightly routine of meds and percussion vest.

I let it pass without comment when Olivia reentered the room freshly showered and pajama clad to curl up on the couch, blanket in hand, knowing she wouldn't go to bed without seeing Edward.

Olivia fell asleep about an hour later watching one of the movies she had packed for the trip as I prepared a plate for Edward when he finally made it home and then cleaned up the kitchen.

I was just finishing putting away the last of the dishes when Edward's keys rattled in the lock. Grabbing the dish towel and drying my hands, I made my way out to the foyer.

"Hey there," I whispered, crossing to where he stood by the small table by the door, dumping the contents of his pockets into the glass bowl there.

Edward's head snapped up and for a moment he looked startled to see me before a wide smile broke out across his face. Before I could make another sound, he had closed the distance between us and wrapped me in a tight embrace, crashing his mouth to mine.

My arms immediately went around his neck, holding him to me as his hands began to reacquaint themselves with my body. I whimpered as he cupped my bottom with one hand while the other wrapped itself in the hair at the nape of my neck, tilting my head back slightly as he broke our kiss to trail his lips over the column of my throat.

"Oh, God," he moaned as he took the lobe of my ear between his teeth. "I have missed you so much."

I was beyond any ability for speech at the moment, but I emphatically agreed with his sentiment with a shift of my body pressing closer to him and tightening my arms around him.

Edward buried his face in my hair and we stood for a long moment just holding one another silently.

"I could really get used to coming home to that," he whispered, pressing his forehead to mine and framing my face between his palms, leaning in to kiss me gently before smiling crookedly.

"Yeah, me too," I breathed.

"Where's Olivia?" he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.

I smiled and gestured behind me toward the sofa. "Asleep, she wanted to wait up for you but didn't quite make it."

Edward looked over my shoulder and a smile lit his face when he caught sight of Olivia's sleeping form under her favorite blanket. My heart thundered in my chest as I watched the different emotions sweep over his face and Olivia's words about her feelings for Edward and her desire not to forget her father slid through my mind.

Edward kissed my forehead and pulled away, crossing the room to where Olivia lay, bending to gently kiss her hair before he picked her up.

I felt a tightening in my throat as I saw Olivia wake slightly and snuggle closer into Edward's neck, her hands curled against his chest. I hurried to the guest room to turn down the bed.

Edward carefully laid Olivia in bed and I tucked the comforter snuggly around her, pressing a kiss of my own to her forehead before straightening up.

"Come on, you need to eat," I whispered, turning to take his hand and leading him back to the kitchen. "Olivia made dinner. I'll warm it up for you."

Edward crossed to the bar once we entered the room, pulling out a stool and taking a seat.

I grabbed the salad from the fridge along with a beer and popped his plate in the microwave. When I turned back, he was rubbing a hand through his hair furiously and looked very tired.

"You look as though you could use this," I said, smiling as I sat the opened bottle on the counter in front of him.

"God, I love you," he said, promptly taking a long pull from the bottle.

I laughed, turning back as the microwave alerted. I asked about his patient as I sat his plate before him and met his eyes, the look behind them and his hesitation told me that something had happened.

He began to explain and I was relieved to hear that the patient was okay, now, but there were some complications with anesthesia. Edward had turned the case over to Emmett who would follow up while he was out of town.

Edward looked down at his plate and smiled. "Olivia made this?"

"Yeah, it's my grandmother's recipe. She's been after me forever to teach her how to make it," I shrugged.

Edward took a huge bite and hummed, nodding his approval. I smiled thinking how happy that would make Olivia.

I rounded the counter and took the stool next to Edward.

"Uh….have you not eaten at all today?" I asked teasingly, laughing at the way he was single-mindedly devouring the food.

Edward chuckled as he looked up, taking a draw from his beer and shaking his head.

"No, not really," he said, swallowing and tucking back into the last few bites of his dinner.

"God, that was good," he said at long last. "She's a really good cook."

"Yeah, she enjoys it," I agreed, a feeling of pride at Olivia's burgeoning skill shot through me at his compliment.

Edward turned my stool toward him and pulled it until my knees were firmly between his own and placed his hands on my thighs. I felt the warmth of his hands seeping through the fabric of my jeans and the stirrings of a fire in the pit of my stomach as he looked into my eyes. I wrapped my fingers around his wrists and looked at him from under my lashes, smiling when he sucked in a ragged breath.

"I think I need a shower," he whispered, reaching up with one hand to cup my cheek and leaning in bringing his mouth to mine.

I sighed against his lips as they pressed to mine; I could taste the tang of the spices from his dinner mixing with the sweetness of the beer as he deepened the kiss.

"You probably would like some help with that, wouldn't you," I murmured as I pulled back slightly, my lips brushing his as I spoke.

"Yes," Edward moaned as he nodded and pressed his lips to mine gently.

I yelped in surprise as he stood quickly, pulling me from my seat, linking an arm behind my back and one behind my knees as he lifted me and made his way quickly up the stairs to his room.

* * *

**Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing ...I truly appreciate all the kind words, the rec's and just simply your love for NYN and these characters. **

**Next chapter is finished and as I said above it will post when it's ready to go...**

**Until then...**

**xoxoxoxoxxo**

**bellasunderstudy1**

**please visit www(.)cff(.)org for further information on Cystic Fibrosis.  
**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Evening my dear hearts! As I said in the last update, my RL is nuts. Those of you who aren't aware I'll be starting my new job tomorrow! I'm excited but a nervous wreck to be honest. My goal is to have at least one update a week until NYN is complete. There are about 9 more chapters after this one plus 2 epilogues. Ch 22 is in the works as I type. **

**A HUGE thanks to my super-beta Jessica1971 for being awesome as usual! **

**The outtake from NYN is complete and I want to thank Ladysharkey1 and Jahdsmama for requesting a look into Edward's head after his initial meeting with Olivia and his discussion later that night with Mama Esme...Thank you ladies! Truly for being awesome. I will post that outtake on Wednesday of this week. Make sure that you have me on Author alert or you won't receive the outtake (if you want to read it, that is *sheepish grin*) It will not be added as an additional chapter but as an additional story. **

**Disclaimer: Still not mine...belongs to SM, I'm just playing.  
**

* * *

Chapter 21

BPOV

Edward practically ran up the stairs to his room and through to the bath, hastily stripping away our clothing as the water heated, never breaking contact except when absolutely necessary.

"God, I missed you, Bella," Edward moaned into my ear as he pressed me into the wall of the shower, my fingers splayed, face and chest pressed to the steam warmed tile.

Edward's chest pushed against my back as he leaned into me, his skin hot and slick as the water rushed over his shoulders and down my body. One arm was wrapped low around my waist, our bodies melding together as the tips of his fingers bit into my hip as he held me tightly to him. His free hand ghosted over my abdomen until he cupped my breast in his palm. Gently, he circled my nipple with his thumb, the flesh responding, hardening as he pinched and rolled the taut tip between his thumb and finger.

"Edward," I sighed, rolling my hips against him and gaining a strangled groan as he shifted his hips and his erection slid between us, pressing into my back.

"Bella," he choked. "Please…oh, God….please…I have to have you…right now." His voice was little more than a growl low in his throat, dragging his lips along the column of my neck.

I stiffened infinitesimally as what he was asking actually registered in my lust fogged brain. I knew we were clean as we had both been tested.

Because one of my patients was suspected of having an AIDS related cancer after I had been seeing him for several months (which turned out to be a different form of sarcoma), I recently had a HIV test and was relieved to find out that Edward was tested periodically as well.

After Edward and I spent our first night together, I called as soon as possible to make an appointment and restarted the Depo injections. I knew that we were safe in that respect as well, but I had never been with anyone other than Mike without protection.

My mind processed all of these things in a split second and thankfully it was quick enough not to arouse suspicion of any hesitation on my part from Edward.

"I need you, too, Edward," I murmured and Edward - wasting no time - bent slightly, using his knees to spread my legs a bit further. I gasped as he straightened and entered me in a quick thrust, filling me completely.

I felt completely boneless as he moved inside me as I tried to brace myself against the wall.

The warmth from the water washing over our joined bodies made our skin slick as we slid against one another. Edward's hands moved over me, leaving a fire in their wake that scorched my body as I careened toward the abyss of blissful release.

One of his hands found its way to my hair, pulling my head back, allowing his lips to sweep over my neck as the other moved around my hip and down to where our bodies joined. When his fingers found their mark, I called out his name as I fell over the cliff.

"You're so beautiful," he groaned as his rhythm changed, his breathing coming in broken gasps.

Leaning back into him, I removed one hand from the wall and buried my fingers in his hair. Rolling my hips against the pounding rhythm of his own, his hands moved to my waist, holding me to him.

Edward growled low in the back of his throat as he went completely rigid with his own release, fingers biting into the skin just above my hips. His knees seemed to give way with the final shudder of his release and he slipped from me before slowly lowering us to the floor of the shower.

Thankfully, the shower was quite large and there was room for both of us as I sat in front of him with his legs and arms wrapped around me; he completely circled me with his body and I leaned my head back against his shoulder. He pressed his cheek on top of my head as his chest rose and fell rapidly, trying to regain his composure.

The steam rolled around us like London fog and seemed to completely cut us off from the rest of the world. I felt weightless and there was nothing but the feel of Edward's body against mine to anchor me and remind me I was still a part of this world.

"I love you," he whispered.

I shivered as his breath swept over the heated skin of my chest and my nipples tingled in response.

"I love you, too, Edward," I murmured, covering his hands with my own.

~O~

We finally completed the business part of showering, giggling and teasing one another until it resulted in yet another round of reacquainting ourselves with just how well our bodies fit together.

When we were sufficiently washed, Edward wrapped me in a large towel and carried me to his bed. He made love to me slowly, gently with whispered words of love and devotion that were so sincere they brought tears to my eyes. I clung to him as we tumbled together into final ecstasy.

I woke alone much later in the night. A lamp in the bathroom casting shadows over the walls made it difficult to see anything. Scooting out of bed, I found the scrub top Edward had on earlier lying crumpled on the floor. Slipping it on, I made my way to the stairs and stopped cold as I heard the lonely sound of a guitar wafting up from somewhere in the darkness.

My breath caught as a voice smooth and warm came from below; the words of the song found their way to my heart and pierced my soul as I slowly made my way down the stairs toward the light coming from Edward's study.

His voice was strong but soft; it was obvious he felt every word and note he drew from the strings.

Afraid to break the spell of the song, I stood outside the door as he sang and knew I had never heard anything so beautiful.

There were no words to describe the feelings that filled me at the moment Olivia's voice joined Edward's.

Mike was very musical and had a wonderful singing voice. It became apparent that Olivia had inherited his talent a couple of years ago, but she would never do it in front of anyone but Rosalie or me, and usually only then when we were playing _Guitar Hero_.

The fact that she was now singing with Edward had me biting my lip to hold back the sob bubbling in my chest.

I pushed the door open just a bit more so I could see into the room. They sat on a small black leather sofa in the center of the room. Olivia's back was turned to me as she looked up at Edward, singing the last few bars. I could see Edward's profile as he stared down at the guitar in his hands; as the song came to a close, he looked stunned.

Edward took a deep breath and turned to look at Olivia.

"Olivia," he said, his voice tight with emotion. "You have a beautiful voice. I had no idea you could sing like that."

Olivia nodded, whispering a thank you and they sat in silence for a few moments.

"I don't remember it, but my dad played the guitar," Olivia said, her voice wavering slightly as she looked to the guitar Edward held. "My…um…my mom has videos of him singing to her belly before I was born..." she trailed off as she dropped her head and stared at the floor, taking a deep breath.

"I bet he was very good," Edward said, his voice still thick and rough as he looked to Olivia, catching sight of me over her shoulder.

As I met his eyes, even from where I stood, I could see he was barely holding onto his own emotions and I swiped at the hot tears on my cheeks with the back of my hand. Taking a deep breath, I released it slowly so as not to alert Olivia to my presence as I tried to get a grip on myself.

"Yeah, he was" she said, nodding her head. "You're really good, too," she added hastily, looking up quickly, causing Edward to chuckle.

"I'll do, I guess," he said, shaking his head and clearing his throat. "Would you like for me to show you how to play a couple of chords?"

I could imagine Olivia's expression as she registered what he said and Edward smiled at her, holding the guitar out for her to take.

I had not told Edward of the conversation Olivia and I had earlier and felt the burn in the center of my chest as I watched Olivia take the guitar from his hands, holding it reverently. She wanted so much to hold onto something of her father and Edward had given her a way of doing just that with a simple offer.

Mike's guitar had been damaged when some of his belongings were being shipped home from Fort Benning. It wasn't repairable.

I stepped back into the darkness of the hall and made my way up the stairs to Edward's room. My heart thundered in my chest as the maelstrom of emotions rushed through my system, churning in the pit of my stomach like a hurricane come ashore.

The sob I had kept a strangle hold on finally broke free as I reached the door to Edward's room, and I barely made it to the bed before my knees gave way completely.

Sometime later, I lay staring into the dark room, realizing there was no denying that fate had a large hand in bringing Edward and I together. The truly horrible events of Mike's death and my decision not to move away from his parents and Edward's need to make a name of his own, out from under the large shadow of his father, had put our paths on a collision course, and for that I would be eternally grateful.

I must have dozed off at some point because I awoke when Edward slid beneath the sheets and wrapped his body around me, kissing my hair as he settled down on his pillow.

"She's asleep," he murmured.

"Thank you," I whispered and he tightened his arm around my waist, pulling me closer and kissing the top of my head, knowing I meant much more than I could ever put into words.

"I love her, too, Bella," he said, his voice thick with lingering emotions.

I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly.

"I know you do," I said, placing a hand over his arm. "She loves you as well, I hope you know that."

I felt him nod but knew he was too overcome to speak, so I turned to wrap him in my arms, pulling his head to my chest. I needed the heat of his body, to feel his heart as it beat in time with my own, and the solid feel of him in my arms. I needed to know, needed proof that he was real, that I wouldn't wake and he would be gone and all that had passed between us was nothing more than a very vivid dream.

As I held him and we both began to relax, his rhythmic breathing became a soothing sound, lulling me into the peaceful abyss of sleep.

~O~

A smile spread over my face as I felt the tips of Edward's fingers brush the hair away from my shoulder just before he pressed his lips to my skin.

"Good morning, sweetheart," he murmured, warm breath washing over me and causing a shiver to run down my spine.

"I hate mornings," I groaned, turning in his arms. I kissed the center of his chest and snuggled a bit closer for just a few more minutes of blissful sleep.

"Wake up, sleepyhead," he said and I felt as much as heard his chuckle as he dropped a kiss to the top of my head.

"Nuh-uh, don't want to," I mumbled into his chest and tightened my arm around his waist.

Edward rubbed a warm hand over my back, causing a tingle to run down my spine, settling somewhere much lower, and I couldn't stop the shift of my body against his. My thigh pushed between his, lazily wrapping my leg around and caressing the back of his calf with my foot. That small movement brought me into closer contact with a very awake part of his anatomy and he sucked in a sharp breath as I moved my hips, causing a delicious friction.

"Bella," he groaned through gritted teeth.

"Hmm…" I hummed, barely holding in the giggles, biting my lip as his arms tightened around me.

"We don't have time, Bella," he moaned as his hand roamed over the curve of my hip.

I kissed my way across his chest, circling his nipple with my tongue as I ran a hand over the curve of his backside, squeezing gently, gaining a very satisfying moan from Edward.

"Do you realize how many cold showers I've taken since meeting you, woman?" he growled, rolling me onto my back, grabbing my arms and holding them above my head as he pressed himself into me.

I shook with suppressed laughter and Edward narrowed his eyes, scowling down at me.

"Is that what you want, Bella?" he asked, his voice low and rough, menacing, but I could see the playful light behind his eyes. "Do you like that I'm near mad with wanting you every hour of the day? That it takes nothing more than the thought of you to make me insane with need?"

"Yes," I whispered, breathless with desire. I wasn't laughing any longer.

Edward's eyes widened but he quickly recovered and adjusted his hold on my wrists so he held both in one hand.

I still wore the scrub top I had slipped on the night before but it was now pushed up around my waist. He slid his free hand slowly over my side, brushing the outside of my breast down to my knee, hitching it over his hip and thrusting hard against me. His fingers slowly found their way to the inside of my bare thigh and higher. I lifted my hips against his hand as he slipped a finger inside.

Edward's eyes bore into mine, dark and dangerous in their intensity as I writhed under his weight. The growing heat set me ablaze as he worked my body and I could feel the coil winding low in my abdomen as the power of an orgasm built in my blood.

"Kiss me," I breathed. "Kiss me, then take me, Edward…please."

Edward released a feral sound as he crashed his mouth to mine in a flurry of lips and teeth and tongue. I was overwhelmed with the sensations and gasped as he did exactly as I asked, taking me fast and hard.

I arched against him as he ravaged my body, opening myself to take him deeper, wrapping my legs around him and locking my heels behind his thighs as I spiraled into my release, gasping his name as the world disappeared in a burst of white.

Edward still held my wrists in one large hand above my head, the other wrapped around my hip. His rhythm quickened as he began to lose his tenuous grip on control.

I wanted him to lose control, to take what he needed from my body as I offered it willingly, and I rolled my hips against him as he slammed into me.

"Yes, baby, that's it," I whispered in his ear. "I love you, Edward."

He buried his face in the pillow beside my head and roared as his body went completely rigid, his climax washing over him.

He released his grip on my hands as his body relaxed and he lay spent on top of me, breathing heavily.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him as he came back to Earth.

"I love you, Bella," he said finally, turning to kiss my cheek. "So, so much."

"I know, baby, I love you, too."

Edward slowly slid from me, rolling onto his back and throwing an arm over his eyes, his breathing still somewhat ragged.

"Um….are you okay?" I asked, curling into his side and kissing his chest.

"Edward?" I sat up slightly, looking down at him when he didn't answer or even acknowledge the question.

He nodded but didn't remove his arm to look at me. "I think….I might have died for just a minute," he said, his voice thin but completely serious.

I looked at him for a long moment before dropping my head against his chest, laughing. Edward wrapped his arms around me as he dissolved along with me.

"I'm serious," he gasped, wiping the tears from his eyes. "I swear I saw the face of God."

"Oh my god," I snickered, trying to catch my breath. "You are so ridiculous."

Raising my head to check the clock, I finally said, "Come on, we need to get up. I need a shower and lots of coffee."

Edward groaned and reluctantly released his hold on me. I rolled out of bed, grabbed the outfit I had laid out the night before, and ran into the bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later I was freshly showered and dressed, ready for traveling.

"AH!" I gasped as Edward stood just outside the bathroom door, holding out a steaming cup of coffee.

"You did say you needed coffee, right?" he asked with a quirked eyebrow and a crooked grin.

"Yes," I said, smiling and taking the proffered nectar from the gods, inhaling deeply. "Oh, God, thank you."

"My pleasure," he murmured, kissing my cheek as he brushed past me into the bathroom.

While Edward showered, I made my way down to the guest room to wake Olivia. She was almost as difficult to rise in the mornings as I was, but not quite.

I set my cup on the small side table and reached out to brush the hair away from her face and sat down on the bed beside her.

"Wake up, pumpkin," I whispered, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "Time to get up, sweetie, we have to leave in a little bit."

Olivia began to stir, snuffling and grunting as she rolled over, swatting my hand away as I tried to pull the blanket back slightly to rub her back.

"I don't wanna," she grumbled and I laughed.

"I know, but you've got to," I said, shaking her shoulder gently. "Come on. You need to do your morning routine so we can get everything packed back up before we have to go."

"Ugh," she groaned, rolling to her back.

I stood, grabbed my coffee cup, and headed back toward the door.

"Olivia," I said, not turning around but knowing she had drifted back off into sleep.

"Okay, okay, I'm up," she said and I heard the sheets rustle as she sat up. "I really am."

I padded my way back down the hall and up the stairs to Edward's room. The water was still running inside the bathroom and I smiled as I could hear Edward humming to himself over the sound of the shower.

I made the bed and grabbed my bag to repack the things I had taken out the night before.

A short time later, I heard the door of the bathroom open and gasped as I looked up to see Edward emerge with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. I watched as tiny rivulets of water ran over his chest, catching in the spattering of auburn hair before sliding down the ridged planes of his abdomen.

I felt my jaw come unhinged as I took in the sight of his body on perfect display. That deep chest rumble of Edward's chuckle snapped me out of my stupor and I looked up to meet his eyes as he smirked at me from under the towel he was using to dry his hair.

Clearing my throat I dropped my gaze back to my bag, working with the stubborn zipper and cursing under my breath as I felt the heat in my cheeks rise.

"Here, let me do that," he said and I startled as he touched my hand, not realizing he had crossed the room to where I stood.

Edward smiled down at me and I smiled back, unsure why I suddenly felt shy, but there was something about getting caught ogling him that made me feel like a voyeur.

I released my hold on the zipper and stepped back slightly as Edward took hold and easily completed the task.

"Thanks," I said, smirking. "It's nice to have such a big, strong man around to do things like that."

"Glad to be of service, ma'am," Edward chortled, cupping my cheek in his palm and bending to press a kiss to my forehead before turning and walking back to his closet to get dressed.

"Edward?" I called, shaking my head to clear the fog and laughing at the effect he had over me.

"Hm?" he hummed from somewhere deep in his closet.

"Who did you say was picking us up at the airport?" I asked, shouldering the carry-on.

"Oh…um," he said, stepping back into the bedroom as he slid into a pair of worn jeans and began buttoning the fly. "I think my dad is actually picking us up and I'm sure that my mother will be there, as well."

"Oh, good," I said, excited at the prospect of seeing Esme. "I can't wait to see your mom again."

It calmed my nervousness a little to know that I wouldn't be meeting Edward's entire family immediately upon arriving in Seattle.

"Yeah, she's pretty excited to see you, too," Edward said, slipping a black t-shirt over his head. "She sounded eerily like my sister when she found out you two were coming home with me. She nearly burst my ear drum with the squealing."

I knew that for all his complaining about his sister, she was very important to him. He loved her and it made me a little nervous about meeting her.

Edward sat down on the bed to slip on his socks and sneakers, smiling up at me when I bent, kissing him on the top of his head.

"I love you," I whispered.

"Mmmm," he hummed, placing his hands on my hips and pulling me between his legs.

He rested his forehead against my abdomen and I dropped the carry-on to wrap my arms around his shoulders, running my fingers through his hair.

"I love you, too, Bella," he said, pressing a kiss to my stomach and sliding his arms around my back, hugging me tightly. "I'm so glad you guys are going home with me."

I tightened my arms around him, kissing his hair. "I'm glad you asked."

"MOM!" I startled as Olivia's voice rang out from downstairs. "MOM! I can't find my toothbrush!"

I groaned and Edward laughed, kissing my stomach once more before releasing me.

"Duty calls, Mom," he said, smiling up at me.

I snorted and rolled my eyes as I grabbed my bag and headed for the door.

"Olivia, for Pete's sake, stop screaming," I called as I reached the top step and saw her standing with her hands on her hips at the bottom of the stairs. "It's in the small bag, outer pocket."

"Oh, I didn't look there," she said, smiling sheepishly.

~O~

Olivia had become increasingly fidgety over the last hour. I knew for the most part she was just sick of sitting in the seat, but over the last ten minutes she had huffed, shifted and changed positions at least twenty times.

"Olivia, honey, please stop squirming," I said, trying not to let the frustration seep into my voice.

"I can't help it," she said, grimacing. "I can't sit here for another minute and well…I'm kinda excited about seeing Esme and Grandpa Charlie and Grandma Sue and Edward's sister and his dad and-"

"Oh my god," I laughed, cutting her off. "I get it, I get it, you're excited."

Edward laughed from his seat next to Olivia and caught my eye over her head. "Well, princess, I can tell you that my mom is just as excited about you coming, and my sister can't wait to meet you."

"Oooo…you know what, Ms. Esme said she was going to take me to the Space Needle and the zoo…you know when she was at the hospital before, when I was sick?" she said, looking from Edward to me with wide eyed excitement. "Oh my gosh, Mom, did you know that the very first Starbucks ever built is in Seattle?"

"Mm-hm...I think we talked about that the last time we were out to see Grandpa Charlie," I replied, biting the inside of my cheek, trying not to smirk.

"We did?" she asked, her brow furrowed. "Huh," she shrugged. "Don't remember that…"

I nodded, laughing at the expression on her face. Edward shook his head, smiling and turning to look back at Olivia as she began regaling him with all the things she and Esme had talked about that were available to do in Seattle during her hospital visit.

"Olivia, honey," I said, trying to gain her attention. "You know Esme's going to be really busy with the party for Edward's sister. She may not be able to take you to all those places this time."

"Oh, I know, but maybe Edward can take me since he's from Seattle," she turned to look at Edward in expectation. "You grew up there, right? So you should know all those places that Ms. Esme was talking about, right?"

Edward smiled down at her. "Yeah, princess, I know all those places and," he said conspiratorially looking at me from under his lashes as he leaned over to stage whisper in Olivia's ear, "I bet I know a few really cool secret places that my mom doesn't know anything about."

I could see Olivia's eyes widen and a smile spread over her face. I rolled my eyes at Edward over her head but smiled when he winked before turning his attention back to Olivia as she started trying to convince him to reveal these secret places.

They spent the next thirty minutes going back and forth, but Edward refused to give in, which I have to admit was pretty impressive.

The pilot finally came over the intercom announcing our descent into Seattle, turning on the 'fasten seat belt' sign.

Forty-five minutes later, we were on our way through the terminal to the luggage carousel.

Edward waded his way through the throng of people to find our luggage, leaving Olivia and I in what he considered a safe area out of the main thoroughfare.

I could see Edward over the crowd as he would locate one of our bags. It was the familiar nervous tick of his running a hand through his hair furiously that tipped me off that something was up even before I saw his face as he made his way back toward where we stood.

"Oh my god, where's her vest?" I asked as soon as he was close enough to hear. Knowing the answer even before I asked the question, I closed my eyes and fisted a hand in my hair. My mind ran a mile a minute in a thousand different directions as I ran through several scenarios, trying to decide what to do first. I was almost positive I had packed her Acapella so she would be okay percussion wise if they didn't find it immediately, but still… that was a seventeen thousand dollar machine.

"I don't know," he said, dropping his bag and Olivia's at my feet, setting my rolling bag upright at his side and throwing an arm out to his side, gesturing to a security guard standing near the luggage carousel. His eyes were dark and intense with anger as he looked at me. "The guy over there said that all the luggage has been unloaded….god, I don't know, Bella. I don't know where her vest is…" He trailed off, running a hand through his hair several times, taking a deep breath and releasing it through his nose, his eyes closed.

"Edward?"

"What?" he said, opening his eyes and scowling at me. I blinked, stunned.

"Uh…I…um…" I stuttered, taken back by the sharpness of his voice and working hard to keep my voice even as my temper flared; I stepped closer to him, looking him in the eye and whispering so Olivia couldn't hear. "Okay….um, I realize that whatever the hell that guy said to you to piss you off has nothing to do with me and that you're just upset about the situation, but I think we can do without the attitude right now. It's really not helping things and you're going to upset Olivia."

I arched an eyebrow, leveling him with a look as I struggled to keep a lid on my own anger and concern over the lost equipment. I knew without a doubt Edward was actually upset over this situation and the effect it could have on Olivia, not at me. I was also aware that he had a bit of a temper. Knowing that he was understandably upset, because I was pretty concerned myself, and being okay with taking the brunt of his ire for something someone else did were not one in the same.

I was pissed.

"Oh, god, sweetheart, I'm sorry," he said, reaching out to take my hand, his expression changing immediately. "I just…that guy really…I wasn't thinking..."

"Huh, yeah, I guess not.…" I said, pulling my hand away from his and stepping back, taking a deep breath. "Let's…uh, let's just see if we can find your parents and maybe they won't mind if Olivia stays with them while I go file a report." I took Olivia's hand then grabbed my rolling bag and began walking away before he could say anything more.

"Come on, sweetie, let's go see if we can find Ms. Esme, okay?" I said as Olivia fell in step beside me on our way to find Edward's parents.

"Um….okay," she said, looking over her shoulder at Edward. "Mom, do you think they can find my vest?"

"Yeah, honey, really," I said, trying to be as reassuring as possible and smiling down at her. "I'm sure it's on the next plane coming in, nothing to worry about at all. You have your Acapella just in case anyway, right?"

Olivia nodded, still looking a bit apprehensive.

I felt a warm hand slide under my hair and wrap around the nape of my neck. Edward leaned in, whispering in my ear. "Bella, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be short with you."

I nodded but didn't look at him. I was afraid to open my mouth, knowing I would probably make a comment I would regret, and honestly at the moment I was more concerned with getting Olivia situated and finding out what happened to her equipment. We could deal with the other stuff later.

Edward kept his hand on my neck, gently kneading the tense muscles as we continued through the terminal.

"Hey, there's Ms. Esme," Olivia said, taking off and tugging me along behind. I could see Esme waving excitedly as she saw us heading toward her.

I laughed despite myself at the site of Edward's refined mother bouncing on the balls of her feet as we got closer, a brilliant smile on her face.

My eyes widened slightly at the sight of the man standing to Esme's left, who was very obviously Edward's father. The resemblance to Edward was remarkable, save the hair and eyes; everything else he definitely inherited from the paternal unit.

"Oh, goodness," Esme said, wrapping Olivia in a tight embrace. "It's so good to see you again, darling."

"Hi, Ms. Esme," Olivia giggled as she returned the hug with just as much excitement.

"It's good to see you, Dad," Edward said, extending a hand to his father who promptly pulled him into a giant hug.

"It's so good to see you, too, son," Carlisle said, a wide smile on his face as he met my eye over Edward's shoulder. "It's been much too long."

Edward nodded as he stepped away from his father and a small apologetic smile pulled at the corner of his mouth as he looked at me. I knew he felt bad about yelling at me earlier and I smiled at him, trying to reassure him that everything was okay. We would definitely be talking about it later, though.

"Well, this must be your Bella," Carlisle said, smiling.

"Oh Carlisle, of course this is Bella," Esme chimed in as she straightened, still holding Olivia's hand. "How are you, dear?"

Esme wrapped her free arm around my shoulders and pulled me into a fierce hug.

"I'm so happy that you both were able to be here with Edward. Thank you," she whispered.

"Thank you for having us, Esme," I said, as we separated.

"Bella, it's very nice to meet you," Carlisle said, stepping forward and taking my hand.

"It's very nice to meet you, as well…" I trailed off, unsure exactly how to refer to him.

"Carlisle," he interjected, meeting my eyes with a gentle smile.

"Carlisle," I said, returning his smile as he released my hand.

"And this beautiful child is Olivia, hm?" he asked, turning to look down at Olivia.

"Yes, sir," Olivia said, smiling. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Cullen."

"Oh, well," Carlisle chuckled, clearing his throat as he looked to Esme. "You may call me Carlisle as well, Olivia, if that's okay with your mother, of course."

I nodded to Olivia then looked between Edward and his father. I had to admit it was a little eerie hearing the same deep chest rumbling laugh and seeing many of the mannerisms that I had come to recognize as inherently Edward's being exhibited by another man.

Edward explained the problem with Olivia's missing equipment and that we needed to go check with lost and found to leave our information for when it was located.

"So, um….would you guys mind watching Olivia for just a little bit so Bella and I can go take care of that?" he asked.

"Well, of course, darling, you don't even have to ask," Esme assured, placing a hand on Olivia's shoulder and smiling at her.

"Actually son, I have an idea if it's okay with Bella. I had to go into the hospital earlier this morning and your mother met me here. She just couldn't wait until I could get you home," Carlisle teased, leaning over to kiss Esme's cheek.

"Pssh," she scoffed, smacking him lightly in the chest. "Stop."

"Like I was saying, if it's okay with you, Bella," he said, looking to me and smiling, "you two can go do what you need regarding the report and then take Esme's car. Olivia can go home with us in my car."

"Are you sure you wouldn't mind doing that?" I asked, looking from Esme to Carlisle and then to Edward as he stepped closer to me. I felt the reassuring warmth of his hand at the small of my back.

"Please, mom?" Olivia said.

I smiled down at her and nodded. "Yeah, I can't see why not." I looked back up to Esme. "As long as you're sure you don't mind."

"Absolutely, don't think another thing about it," Esme assured.

We followed them out so we could put our luggage in Carlisle's Lexus. Edward stood at the back of the car talking with his father while Esme, Olivia, and I stood to the side.

"Bella, thank you for letting us have her all to ourselves for a little bit," she said, placing her hands on Olivia's shoulders. "It will give her and Carlisle some time to get to know one another a little better. And you know what?" she asked, framing Olivia's face and tilting her head back so she could look down into her eyes. "I think that you look like the exact person I have needed to help make my special double chocolate chip cookies and…." she trailed off and looked around conspiratorially before stage whispering, "you'll have to help me keep Carlisle out of them. He always eats too many."

"Did I hear something about double chocolate chip cookies?" Carlisle asked, smiling like a kid in a candy shop and causing Olivia to giggle as she looked at Esme, who nodded and winked.

Olivia was still giggling when Edward closed her door and we watched them drive away.

I turned to head back to the airport and felt Edward slide an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into him and kissing my hair.

"Thank you," he whispered, his warm breath infiltrating my hair and causing me to shiver.

"Thank you? For what?" I asked, pulling away just enough to look up at him and quirking an eyebrow.

"Well, for starters, for making my parent's day by letting them have Olivia all to themselves for a little bit," he said, smiling down at me. "And secondly, for not knocking my teeth out for being such an ass earlier. I really am sorry, Bella."

I snorted and shook my head.

"Okay….here's the thing. You can stop apologizing," I said, looking up at him as we entered the airport and snaking my arm around his waist. "I get it, the guy pissed you off and you were worried about how this was going to affect Olivia and you lost your temper a little bit. I get it, Edward."

Edward looked at me with something between confusion and relief.

"I'm not letting you off the hook that easily, so don't look so relieved," I said, rolling my eyes and smacking his chest lightly. "You'll pay for yelling at me, have no doubt about that, mister. I just wanted you to know I understand, not that I think it was okay – not by a long shot – just that I understand it."

"I love you," he said, stopping and pulling me into him. Edward framed my face between his large palms. "I love you and I shouldn't have spoken to you like that regardless of how upset I was at that incompetent idiot. I'm sorry."

"I love you, too, Edward," I said, standing up on tip-toe and pressing my lips to his as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Come on, we better get this over with," I murmured against his lips, pulling away and taking his hand and leading him through the mezzanine.

* * *

**A/N Thanks everyone for reading and being so wonderfully loyal to this story. **

**To explain what an Acapella is...it basically is a hand held device in which a CF patient uses to complete the percussion part of their therapy. It does essentially the same thing as the percussion vest but the person is required to blow into a mouthpiece. They have to do a certain set number of blows to receive the needed therapy. Some people prefer this over the use of the vest. For my daughter I personally prefer the vest because I'm not always positive she is using enough force when blowing into the Acapella to receive the percussion return she needs, but that's me personally.**

**Thanks again! And I'll see you all Wednesday for the outtake...**

**Until then...**

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1**

**p.s. one more thing, I'm planning on doing an EPOV outtake of the little interaction between Olivia and Edward that Bella ease dropped on...just in case you're interested in that as well...  
**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Evening dear hearts! So yeah, I know it's been like two weeks since I've updated, sorry about that. You all know I've said several times my RL is out of control, thank you all for being so great with your support. I really appreciate it...Just so you know Chapter 23 is already complete, I won't post until next week but it's done and hopefully that will give me a buffer so that _maybe_ I won't get behind even with my out of control schedule and can post regularly until the end... **

**So obviously I have to send out a huge thank you to Jessica1971 as always because she's the bestest beta evah! She worked her mad skills on this little ditty.**

**This update is a dual POV, I haven't done that with NYN but it just needed to happen in this chapter. Hope you enjoy!  
**

* * *

Chapter 22 Technicolor...

**BPOV**

Edward and I stood in the lost and found office for more than two hours trying to explain to the clerk exactly what was lost. The fact that we were only going to be in Seattle for a couple of days before returning to Atlanta made the situation more perilous.

We filled out every form known to man and gave away more of our personal information than I have to say I was completely comfortable with, but if it meant that they would locate Olivia's equipment and get it to us quickly, I was more than willing to provide whatever they required.

We had no more than made it outside the airport doors when Edward's cell phone rang and it was the same clerk we had left our information with saying they had located the equipment. So we turned around and trekked back to the lost and found office.

It seemed the bag had been put in the wrong bin on the train thing they used to transport the luggage and was delivered to the wrong terminal. Luckily, someone flagged it within their system and it was sent to lost and found immediately when the clerk logged the information.

Edward thanked the clerk for being so efficient and we made our way back out of the airport to find Esme's car.

"Holy crap!" I gasped as the most beautiful car I have ever seen lit up when Edward hit the key fob to unlock the doors. "This is your mom's car?"

"Yeah," Edward said, smirking over the hatch as he hefted Olivia's vest inside the trunk.

The crooked smile on his face as he approached me was enough to stop my heart, make my breathing speed up, and my knees go weak. I felt the cool metal of the car against my back when I took a step backward as Edward stalked closer to me.

"Do you like it, Bella?" he murmured, pressing me into the side of the car as he ran his nose softly along my jaw line. My eyes fluttered closed of their own accord.

"Uh…" I responded. It was the only slightly coherent sound that my brain could conjure as I felt Edward's hands slide along my hips, pulling me impossibly closer. I placed my hands on his forearms, running them slowly to his biceps.

"You are so beautiful, my Bella," he whispered against my ear, his hot breath washing over the sensitive skin there, causing me to shiver. "I love you, so very much."

I whimpered at his words and felt his hands tighten around my waist and then suddenly, he was gone. I opened my eyes to see him standing behind the open passenger door.

He was smiling and it wasn't his usual crooked, slightly cocky smile. No, this was the full face, all out smile, which was so heartbreakingly beautiful I felt my eyes prickle with tears.

"Your chariot awaits, milady," he said, bowing formally and looking at me from under his lashes. His eyes were dark with desire but there was a playful spark behind them; I couldn't help but return his smile as I took his hand and slid into the supple black leather seat.

"Jesus," I breathed, my eyes widened as I scanned the interior.

I had seen the Jaguar XKR once or twice. Living in a suburb of Atlanta, it's not unusual to see luxury cars, but this was beyond anything I had ever personally experienced.

This was ridiculous luxury.

This was decadent to the point it almost seemed sinful.

I might have actually groaned - just a little - as I settled further into the seat. I was sure of that fact when I heard Edward's chuckle from the seat next to me as he turned the ignition and the engine roared to life.

Admittedly, I wasn't exactly a car fanatic, but I knew this car and I knew that there were some serious horses under that hood.

I shook my head in amazement once again that this was Esme's car.

"What?" Edward asked as he smoothly merged into traffic, a satisfied smile planted firmly on his face.

"Nothing, I'm just….surprised that your mom drives a car like this," I said, grinning and gesturing around the interior of the car. "I mean, she's not your typical….mom? But….really?"

Edward laughed, but I noticed the shadow skate behind his eyes as he looked at me briefly before checking his mirror as he maneuvered around a slower moving car and began gaining a significant amount of speed.

"Who do you think taught me the joys of driving fast, Bella?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow and smirking.

I shook my head. Maybe I had imagined the look? Laughing at his expression, the man never ceased to surprise me, and for that matter, neither did his mother.

"Your mom and dad are so….cute," I said, smiling to myself after a long moment of comfortable silence as we sped out of Seattle.

"They make a beautiful couple. And can I just say, for the record, it's a little freaky how much you and your dad look alike," I said, leaning over to place a kiss on his cheek and ruffle his hair. "Except for the hair, that is. His is much nicer," I teased, laughing.

"Thanks," he snorted sarcastically, placing a hand on top of my thigh. I covered his hand with mine and threaded our fingers together, turning to look out the window.

"So…your sister's going to be at your parents' house later this afternoon?" I asked, biting the corner of my lip unconsciously.

I could feel Edward's eyes on me and imagined the questioning expression that I was sure was on his face at that moment.

"Bella," he murmured, tightening his hand on my thigh, gaining my attention. "Are you nervous about meeting Alice?"

I met his eyes for a moment and nodded, grimacing as I whispered, "Yes."

"Don't be," he said, turning his attention back to the road. "She already loves you."

I quirked a doubtful eyebrow and looked at him skeptically with that declaration.

"She hasn't even met me," I said, incredulous. "How do you know she loves me?"

"I love you, so of course she does, too," he said, smiling crookedly and looking at me from the corner of his eye.

"You really are delusional," I snorted. "Just because you love me does not mean that your sister will feel the same, and you don't know….What if she doesn't feel that you should be with someone who's been married before, especially someone with a kid? Huh? What about that? Maybe she won't think Olivia and I are such a great idea for you to get involved with. She's important to you, Edward…." I trailed off as my throat constricted.

"Sweetheart, how can she not?" he murmured, squeezing my leg and looking between me and the road. "You and Olivia are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I've told you, Bella, I've never really been in love before you. Alice knows that as well as anyone, and once she meets you both there's no way she won't see that. Believe me, she loves you already."

I couldn't explain why I was so worried about meeting Alice. I knew it was irrational and exceptionally insecure, but for whatever reason I could feel it to my bones that Alice's opinion mattered more to Edward than even that of his parents', and if she didn't like me….

I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly, a small smile beginning to pull at the corner of my mouth as I nodded, accepting his assurances. There really was no other choice and I trusted Edward to be honest with me about how his family felt about our relationship.

~O~

Carlisle and Esme lived just outside Seattle on Mercer Island.

Edward had shared stories with me over the last couple months of his adventures as a young man growing up on the island.

He and his buddies had been quite the adventurers when it came to water sports it seemed; I had no doubt that it was a testosterone filled attempt at impressing any number of girls that they were interested in at the time, as most boys do. As much as Edward tried to convince me he was a geek in high school and that the girls really weren't interested even knowing how awkward he had been, as a grown man, on our first encounter, it was almost impossible for me to believe.

Spending most of my time growing up in the deserts of Arizona, I wasn't exactly what you would call a water sports enthusiast. Truthfully, I had only been waterskiing once with Mike many years ago, and it was a disaster.

I smiled as the memory of that day played in my mind.

Mike was calling out instructions to me as he watched from the back of the boat. I got up after a few failed attempts where I lost my hold on the rope and was doing pretty good until I hit a large wake from another boat. Somehow I lost one ski and fell, ungracefully I might add, ass over elbows. Mike almost had a heart attack when I went down and shot into the water like a torpedo before his buddy Eric could even get the boat swung around. He swam straight at me as I floundered in the water, unable to use my left leg at all.

My ankle was broken in three places. I was in a plaster cast for six weeks and a walking cast for another four.

It was miserable.

Edward explained how his family loved the water; it was nothing for them to have family outings, staying on the lake for an entire weekend on their boat.

It was obvious in the way he talked about his family how much he had missed being home and I was glad that Olivia and I were able to make this trip with him.

I turned to look out the window as Edward signaled to turn into a gated drive. Keying in a password, we waited as the large iron gates slowly swung open. We made our way up the winding drive and I gasped as the house came into view.

Though I had been to Seattle several times over the years, I had never spent any real time in the city or its surrounding areas as it was usually just the first leg of the long trip out to Forks to see Charlie.

I was prepared for the Cullen home to be something exceptional. Although I knew Mercer Island was one of the more affluent suburbs of Seattle, I was not, however, expecting what I suddenly saw looming before me at that moment. I shouldn't have been surprised. Knowing that Edward's mother drove a car that literally cost more than I made in a year should have been sufficient warning.

It wasn't.

The house, if you could call it that, was a three story Tuscan style mansion on the waterfront.

It was the type of home that you see on _Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous_. I expected to see Robin Leach pop out from behind one of the perfectly manicured shrubs with a camera crew at any moment and begin telling the viewers at home just how opulently the Cullens lived.

Money was just not something I ever put a great deal of thought into growing up. My family was comfortably upper middle class; I had never gone without but we certainly weren't rich, and even if we had been, it would have _never_ been this standard of rich.

It suddenly occurred to me as I stared open mouthed just how different the worlds were that Edward and I came from.

"Oh my god," I breathed as Edward stopped the car in front of the garage which was larger than my house.

"It's just a house, Bella," Edward said, a slightly defensive edge to his voice.

I looked at him curiously, unsure as to what that was all about, but didn't get a chance to ask as he smiled sadly at me and hopped out of the car.

**EPOV**

I tried to fight off the uneasiness I felt with being playful as I watched Bella's reaction to my mother's car, but then as we pulled up to my parents' home, the expression on her face made the bile rise in the back of my throat and I had to swallow several times, fighting back the nausea.

I meant what I said; it was just a house, nothing more, but it was clear she didn't exactly agree with my assessment.

Stepping out of the car and closing my eyes, I ran my hand through my hair as I tried to calm the panic I felt rising in my chest.

I had to mentally shake myself to erase the memory of how Irina's eyes would glow every time she thought of what my father's name could do for her career and the social implications of being connected to my family.

Just as surely as I knew I loved Bella unlike I had ever loved anyone before her, I knew she cared not one bit about what it meant to '_be_' with a Cullen. In all honesty, she had no concept of the pretentious social circles that made Irina light up with how her social standing skyrocketed when we were together.

Knowing that, however, did not stop my mind from replaying the misery I had lived through with Irina, or my heart from fearing a repeat performance with much worse repercussions if things went badly with Bella.

Carlisle and Esme had instilled in both me and Alice that the only way you made it in this world was by hard work and that nothing was given to you. Alice and I grew up knowing that what we had was a privilege, not a right. When our friends were out partying on mommy and daddy's dime, flashing their black card that their parents were paying for, we both had part-time jobs and were given an allowance based on the responsibilities we had at home.

This was not a concept Irina was at all familiar with and she never understood my need to make my own way in my career.

I knew Bella was raising Olivia with the same work ethic my family held in high regard. That fact among others only served to prove what I already knew - we were meant to be together.

Taking a deep breath, I continued to work for control of my emotions and was failing miserably as I made my way to the back of the car, removing the rolling duffle that contained Olivia's vest and setting it on the ground at my feet.

In the couple of months Bella and I had been together, I had never lost my temper in her presence and I felt horrible for speaking to her the way I did earlier. She had been pissed, with good reason. The whole incident scared me more than I wanted to admit because I was afraid of slipping into the man I was with Irina, and I didn't like who I was then - at all.

If I was being honest with myself, I had no idea what I was doing when it came to having a _real_ relationship. What Irina and I had was the farthest thing imaginable from healthy.

There was not one thing Bella did that had _ever_ reminded me of Irina. Case in point, my snapping at her when I was angry with the security guard at the airport. Nothing had driven the point home more that Bella was nothing like Irina than the way she handled not only herself but me at that moment.

Irina would have cried and made a scene, screaming at me about how cruel I was and how I had hurt her feelings by being such a beast, drawing as much attention as she possibly could to our interaction. She was very good at playing the injured party and always made me feel as though I was an overbearing monster, and I always fell into her ploy for attention.

It took me a long time to understand that I wasn't the one with a problem or that what we had was not how things should be between two people who were supposedly in love. Even with the example my parents set, it took meeting Bella for me to realize what it was to be truly in love and how it felt to have that love returned, honestly and openly.

After the day I had been having already, my nerves were shot and I was having a hard time finding balance again as I blew the breath I had been holding out slowly through my nose.

"Hey," Bella whispered as I felt her hands slide over my chest.

My hands automatically rested on her hips and I opened my eyes to look down at her, smiling slightly.

Her brow was furrowed over those beautiful brown eyes and she tipped up on her toes to press a chaste kiss to my lips.

"What's up with the face?" she asked, quirking a brow in question.

"What face?" I asked, leaning down to kiss the tip of her nose, hoping I could stall explaining my idiocy as I slid my hands around to the small of her back, pulling her closer.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Dr. Cullen," she said, narrowing her eyes at me and poking me in the chest with a finger. I knew that I wasn't fooling her in the least. "So cut the crap and tell me what's going on with you. You've never talked to me the way you did at the airport, and now you pull the sully, worried, broody face? Explain."

I couldn't hold back the smirk that pulled at the corner of my mouth when she called me 'Dr. Cullen'. She only did that when I really annoyed her and she was trying to yank my chain.

Bella slid her hands up my chest until she could play with the hair at the nape of my neck as she smirked up at me, waiting.

"It's nothing, sweetheart," I murmured, pressing my lips to hers softly.

"Mmm," she hummed as I pulled away and leaned my forehead against hers. "Stop trying to distract me and just tell me what's wrong."

"Bella," I sighed in defeat, knowing I would have to try to explain how I was feeling about the events of the day and my past with Irina. "It's just…I-"

The door of my parents' house swung open at that moment and the very familiar voice of my sister cut me off before I could continue.

"Edward Anthony, get your butt in here right this minute! How dare you keep my new sister out there and not bring her in to meet me yet? You've had more than enough time with her already," Alice bellowed from just inside the doorway.

I grimaced and shrugged as I looked down into Bella's wide, surprised eyes. Obviously Alice arrived earlier than expected and wasn't willing to wait another second to meet Bella.

"I told you she loved you already," I whispered, kissing her quickly before pulling away.

I turned, taking Bella's hand in one of mine and pulling her with me as I grabbed the handle of the rolling duffle containing Olivia's vest in the other and we made our way toward the house.

My tiny little sister stood just inside the door of our parents' home; hands on hips and a severe scowl firmly planted on her face, she stared me down until we reached the stoop.

"That's a fine way to greet your favorite brother, Alice," I teased as I released Bella's hand to wrap my little sister in a tight embrace.

Alice was the most annoyingly intrusive woman I had ever known. When we were teenagers, she felt it was her right, as my sister, to butt into my love life as often as possible. It never went over well. Regardless, I always knew she had my back and I loved her.

"Psh, you're my only brother and you know you love me," she giggled as she hugged me as well as she could, considering the size of her baby bump.

"Mom was right, she's beautiful," Alice whispered just before pulling away and smiling at Bella.

"Bella," I said, raising a hand to her and smiling.

A hesitant smile pulled at the corner of her mouth as she took my hand and stepped forward to meet Alice.

"Hi, Bella," Alice greeted, suddenly wrapping Bella in a hug. "It's so nice to finally meet the woman who tamed my brother."

Bella's eyes widened, her body stiffening infinitesimally before she relaxed and returned Alice's hug.

"It's nice to meet you, too," Bella said, releasing Alice and smiling as she looked up at me.

I winked at her and slid my hand to the small of her back, hoping to give her a bit of reassurance in that moment.

"I've heard so much about you. I feel like I know you already, but now that you're here it's going to be so much more fun getting to know you even better," Alice beamed before a grimace crumbled her face and she rubbed her rounded abdomen. "Oh my God, come on, you two. I've got to sit down. This kid is killing me and I want to talk to Bella."

The three of us made our way into the great room so Alice could sit down and prop her feet up. Being in the late stages of her pregnancy was obviously wearing Alice out; the corner of my mouth twitched as I fought with the grin trying to escape as I watched my tiny sister waddle to the sofa. She literally looked like a very well fed penguin.

"Ow! What?" I stage whispered, looking at Bella guiltily as she elbowed me in the ribs, knowing I was busted.

"You," she pointed and then gestured to Alice's retreating form. "It's not nice to make fun of pregnant women."

"Hush, Edward," Alice called, never turning to look at me as she sank into the sofa and placed her feet on a stack of pillows that were there waiting already. "She's right. You should be ashamed of yourself. If I wasn't as big as a house and could still get my foot up that high, I'd kick your butt and you know it."

"I know you could, Ali," I said, still smirking and dropping a kiss to the top of her head as I passed her to take a seat on the love seat, trying to pull Bella down with me.

"Edward," Bella whispered, resisting sitting down and looking nervously over her shoulder. "I need to check on Olivia."

"Oh, she's asleep, Bella," Alice said, beaming from her perch. "Daddy just carried her up to her room a few minutes ago and Mom went up with them. Olivia helped Mom make the cookies and then passed out sitting at the counter while eating one. It was the cutest thing. Bella, she is absolutely the most precious child I've ever seen."

"Thank you," Bella said, a smile lighting her face and allowing me to finally pull her down next to me. "I think so, of course. I'm sort of biased."

"I know what you mean," Alice laughed and nodded knowingly as she rubbed a hand over her distended abdomen. "I haven't even met this little guy yet, but I'm already sure he's the most beautiful baby ever."

I felt my brow furrow in confusion as I draped my arm on the sofa behind Bella and watched as she and my sister laughed about their shared experiences with having children and suddenly realized that Alice had grown up without my noticing.

I mean, it's not as if I didn't _know _she was an adult; though there was only eighteen months difference in our ages, she had always been my _baby_ sister. For some reason it wasn't until that moment that it hit me that Alice was a grown woman and I was taken aback by the realization my baby sister was having a baby of her own.

It was a sobering thought that Alice and Jasper had begun their future and I had just found Bella.

As I turned to look at Bella, I wondered what her feelings were on having more children. I knew my future was with her and Olivia. I had known it on some level since the first moment I saw her, but we hadn't discussed anything that far ahead, choosing up to this point to deal with one day as it came. I hoped that would change. There was no doubt in my mind that I would make Bella my wife one day, and I thought maybe after this trip home we could begin talking more about our future together.

As I watched Alice and Bella talking, sharing stories of pregnancy and Bella recounting her twenty-six hour labor which ended in an emergency cesarean to bring Olivia into the world, I wasn't sure _I_ wanted her to go through that again, regardless of her willingness on the matter.

Alice's tinkling laugh filled the room as Bella retold how her doctor made the nurses weigh Olivia three times because he couldn't believe that she really weighed over nine pounds. According to Bella, she gained less than thirty pounds through her entire pregnancy and her doctor was completely shocked at Olivia's size.

There was an undeniable warmth that spread through my chest as I thought about having a baby with Bella; I felt the corner of my mouth pull up into a half smile as the image of Bella swollen with my child and a little boy with his mother's eyes floated through my mind.

I was well aware that when we moved in that direction there would need to be a discussion about our child's risk for Cystic Fibrosis.

There were no cases, to my knowledge, within my family of the disease. I knew Bella said they weren't aware of her or Mike having a family member with it either, but both carried the mutation and had passed it on to Olivia.

The likelihood that I also carried the CF gene was slim to none, but it would be something, dependant on Bella's stance on the issue of more children, we would have to discuss and find out before we made that leap.

With thoughts of children on my mind, I leaned over and pressed a kiss to Bella's temple before whispering that I would go up and check on Olivia. I knew my parents were in seventh heaven having had several hours of the afternoon to dote on her, but if I was being honest, I was missing the little princess and wanted to see her even if she was sleeping.

I made my way out of the great room and up the stairs toward the room I was sure mom had set up for Bella and Olivia. As much as I would have liked Bella to stay with me, I knew that she wouldn't be comfortable with that in my parents' house and she wouldn't want Olivia sleeping alone in a strange bed. At least she had been familiar with my apartment, having been there a few times before they stayed last night.

It had been a big deal for Olivia when I informed her she could redecorate the guest room if she wanted. I knew she had taken me seriously when a few nights later she had paint samples for me to okay when I came for dinner. She and Bella were going to repaint the room after we returned from our trip.

I laughed, shaking my head at the memory and the thought that Olivia and my sister were going to get along famously; they were too much alike not to.

Gently pushing open the door, I peeked around the corner to see Olivia sound asleep, lying on her side facing me. I felt the smile spread across my face as I looked at the beautiful child before me.

I made my way across the room to where she lay and sat down on the bed, trying not to disturb her but unable to resist being close to her at that moment.

Brushing an errant curl away from her angelic face, I felt my chest constrict at the thoughts of how much she and her mother had changed my whole life. I realized that I only thought I knew happiness before they came into my life. Knowing what it felt like to be truly complete, I now realized that all my previous ideas of what life could really be like were sadly pale in comparison.

Meeting Bella and being blessed that she allowed me into her life with Olivia was much like the part in her favorite movie when Dorothy lands after the tornado and steps out of her house into the Technicolor world of Oz. That's what Bella and Olivia brought into my world - color and true life. For that, I would be eternally grateful.

"She's a precious gift, Edward," my father whispered and I felt his hand rest on my shoulder.

I only nodded, smiling but not willing to take my eyes off the face of the sleeping child before me as I ran a hand over her hair that fanned out over the pillow.

"I'm really glad you've found someone like Bella, son," he said, squeezing my shoulder once before releasing me and taking a seat in the wing chair in the sitting area of the room.

I looked up, smiling to meet his eyes and whispered, "Yeah, me too, Dad. I…you know, I've just never known anyone like Bella. I can't really explain it, but I know that this is where I'm supposed to be. With her." I turned to look back at Olivia. "And with her."

"I know exactly what you mean, son," he said and I smiled knowing he truly did.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks to all of you who have been reviewing through out the duration of this story. I so very much appreciate your kind words. **

**Ok, I want to answer a very good question that was posed after the last update. A few people asked why Bella and Edward would not have carried on Olivia's vest because it is such an important piece of equipment. So the answer is really simple...this sucker is HUGE. Honestly, it weighs about 30-40 lbs. and actually has it's own rolling duffel to keep all the tubing and the actual vest together. The 'vest' as I've referred to it and that's what it's called is actually a vest that Olivia wears but it is basically an electronic air compressor which is why it's so big and heavy. Hope that explains why it isn't something they could just carry on the plane. **

**Until next time...**

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1**

**please visit www(.)cff(.)org for more information on Cystic Fibrosis and it's treatments.  
**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Ya know I have the most awesome readers on the planet. Thank you all who are reading, reviewing and fav'ing NYN. We're looking at about 7 more chapters plus two epilogues. **

**I am incapable of expressing enough thanks to my super-beta extraordinaire, Jessica1971. She's the bestest and once again she's worked her magic on my words. Thank you my darling!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it, you all know that, thanks to the amazing SM for letting me play with her characters. NO copyright infringement intended. **

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

Chapter 23

Indiscretion and Explanation...

BPOV

After Edward left to check on Olivia, Esme appeared, plopping down on the sofa next to her daughter and promptly placing Alice's tiny feet in her lap. She unconsciously began massaging them and I couldn't help but smile when Alice's head dropped back to the arm of the sofa as a quiet moan escaped her lips.

We continued our discussion about the perils of pregnancy with Esme chiming in with her own experience and laughing at the things only mothers and soon to be mothers could truly understand.

My earlier trepidation about meeting Alice slipped away the longer the three of us talked. I was relieved to discover she was just as reassuring and welcoming of our relationship as Esme had been when we first met.

I found myself watching Alice and thinking that as much as Edward looked like their father, she looked absolutely nothing like their mother. Her short cropped black hair, tiny stature, and startling blue eyes were the polar opposite of Esme's coloring and height. Though Esme and I were relatively equal in height and wouldn't be considered tall by any standard, we still had a good four or five inches over Alice's less than five feet, yet there was still something about Alice that made it impossible to deny she was Esme's daughter.

Esme mentioned starting dinner. When she refused my repeated offers of assistance, I excused myself to call Charlie to let him know we had made it safely to Seattle and the Cullen's home.

After finalizing our plans to meet the following day at the aquarium, we quickly said our goodbyes. One thing about my father - conversations with him were always short and to the point.

I laughed to myself as I hit the end button, thinking that after so many years on the police force he truly had a 'just the facts, ma'am' way of talking, even when speaking to his family.

Making my way through the house in the direction I was sure led to the kitchen, I could hear Esme fully engaged in conversation with Alice while working away at preparing dinner.

It was a somewhat surreal sensation as I took in the massive kitchen. I was instantly green with envy over the stainless steel appliances, warm colors, and floor to ceiling windows on the outside wall. The windows gave the already large space an open feel by allowing a beautiful view of the garden and the water just beyond, maintaining the relaxed atmosphere, or maybe it was just the people inside who gave off the air of comfort and ease. Either way, I was in love with the whole experience.

Seemingly without consciously thinking about her actions, Esme had several side dishes started or already finished in the few moments I had been on the phone with Charlie. When Edward and I first arrived, I almost expected, though I knew it was silly having met Esme and knowing how truly genuine and unpretentious she was, for there to be a full staff of people who took care of things like preparing the family's meals.

It was quickly becoming apparent this was second nature for Esme and it was easy to see she was very much just being a mom.

"Olivia doesn't have any food restrictions, does she?" Esme asked as I stepped further into the kitchen and took a seat on the stool next to where Alice was perched.

"No, no," I said shaking my head and smiling at her, "not at all. She can and will pretty much eat anything that isn't nailed down."

I was a little shocked by the fact that both Esme and Alice picked up almost immediately on how overwhelmed I felt by 'meeting the family' officially. They told me repeatedly how much it meant to them that we had come out with Edward and assured me it wasn't something he did, ever.

Though Edward told me he hadn't really dated a lot before we met, that he only had the one serious relationship with Irina, all I knew was that it ended badly, nothing else. He had never elaborated on what really happened between them or why things ended.

As I sat listening when the conversation eased into Alice and Esme discussing details of the party on Sunday, thoughts of all that had occurred during the day ran on a continuous repeat through my mind.

As much as I fought it, I couldn't help but be concerned and confused as to what was going on with him.

Edward's actions since arriving in Seattle were….weird. It wasn't his normal behavior.

Though I understood his loss of temper at the airport, I instinctively knew there was more to his horrified expression when realization hit him of how and what he said; I could see the remorse in his eyes even though I was beyond pissed in that moment. But I knew there was more to it than a simple loss of himself in a moment of anger. I just didn't know what that something was.

The way Edward grew up, which was obviously very privileged, really meant nothing to me other than the initial shock at being blindsided with the fact he had omitted that tidbit of his history when we arrived.

What concerned me was the fact that he had omitted it from our discussions, which seemed to say something about where our relationship truly was versus where I felt it to be previously. It made me feel as though he didn't trust me as much as he seemed to desperately want me to trust him. I felt a cold knot twist in the pit of my stomach about why Edward wouldn't feel he could be completely honest with me, especially when he was constantly pushing me to talk to him about my past and how it affected our relationship.

We needed to talk, and even though it wasn't really the best place for a real discussion, I knew I had to bring him back to me, to us, when we were standing outside his mother's car. He was trying to tell me something when Alice opened the door of the house and interrupted him.

"Bella," Esme called, snapping my attention back to the conversation. "Has Edward told you anything about his relationship with Irina?"

I shook my head, shrugging. I hoped that my shock at her question wasn't as obvious as I felt the heat rise in my cheeks at the seemingly out of the blue question about Edward's ex, but after his strange behavior I suddenly wondered if it had something to do with what was going on with him.

"Not much, just that she was the only relationship he really ever had, that they were together for quite a while and that it didn't end well."

Alice scoffed, shaking her head, and I could have sworn I heard her mumble 'idiot' under her breath.

"Alice," Esme warned before looking back to meet my gaze. "It's not our story to tell, dear, but I believe there are some things my son needs to explain about what happened with Irina."

"That's an understatement," Alice snorted derisively, but then mumbled a 'fine' when she opened her mouth to continue. Esme shot her a look before a smile lit her face as she looked at something over my shoulder.

I felt Edward's arms slip around my waist and his warmth envelop me as he pulled me back tightly into his body.

Even with so many uncertainties playing through my mind, there was no fighting the smile that spread over my face as I felt his lips brush against my cheek and his breath wash over my skin with his whispered 'I love you'.

"Hey," I sighed.

His arms tightened, pulling me closer to him as I lay my arms atop his and he smiled and whispered, "Hey."

"How's Olivia?" I asked as he rested his chin on my shoulder and I turned to press a kiss to his cheek.

"Out like a light," he chuckled. "I don't think a train hitting the house would wake her up."

I laughed and agreed wholeheartedly. Her ability to sleep as though she was in a coma was yet another thing she had inherited from her father. I was sure the time change and jetlag were playing a part, as well.

Alice's husband, Jasper, had called just as we were setting the table to say he had been held up and wouldn't be able to make it for dinner. Alice passed along his apology and regret that he wouldn't be meeting us tonight but would see us the following day.

"Jasper is head of the psychology department," Alice said as way of explanation, shrugging. "He sometimes gets called in on emergency cases even when he's not on call."

The explanation wasn't really necessary as we were all involved with medicine and had all been in that situation at one point or another.

A short time later, we were seated around the table after having to finally wake Olivia to come down. Dinner passed with comfortable conversation. It wasn't until we were finishing dessert that Alice nonchalantly mentioned Irina would be attending the party on Sunday.

Edward physically stiffened and I turned to see him glaring at his sister.

Thankfully, Olivia had already asked to be excused as she was having a hard time keeping her eyes open and we had to get up early the following day to meet Charlie and Sue. I was glad she wasn't at the table to experience the tension that filled the air at that moment.

I really wasn't sure what Edward's reaction meant or how I felt about it as I looked from him to Alice, who was returning his glare with a raised eyebrow as if daring him to say something.

Carlisle picked up the barbed gauntlet of conversation with easy grace, beginning to explain the situation, though honestly it didn't help me decipher Edward's continued stare down with his sister - at all.

"Marcus came to me in hopes there would be no hard feelings on Edward's part," Carlisle said, looking from Edward to me cautiously. "He said they had a begun a relationship a few months ago and that he would be bringing her on Sunday if there was no objection," he looked directly at Esme and then at Edward, who had finally looked away from Alice to meet his father's gaze.

"I made it quite clear that you had moved on, son, and were very happy. That in fact you were bringing Bella home with you for the party and he shouldn't feel uncomfortable in bringing Irina as his date," Carlisle said, never breaking eye contact with Edward and raising a brow in a very disconcertingly familiar expression.

Edward nodded, only looking at me from the corner of his eye and remaining completely silent on the subject.

I swallowed the bile at the back of my throat and dropped my eyes to my dessert plate, completely unsure of what to make of the extremely uncomfortable situation.

I felt my stomach churning with unease as the fact Edward had obviously been keeping a secret from me in regards to Irina wove its way through my brain. A cold chill ran down my spine and I felt my eyes burn slightly in frustration.

"So, Bella, you must bring your father by tomorrow to meet everyone, dear," Esme said, a forced smile on her face, but thankfully changing the subject. "Maybe we could all go out on the lake and take a picnic dinner."

~O~

I lay in bed for what seemed like forever, listening to Olivia's rhythmic breathing and wishing for the peaceful escape of sleep.

I groaned as I turned to look at the clock for the hundredth time and realized that I had been lying in bed for two hours trying to fall asleep without any success.

My mind just would not shut down. It really made me wish for an on/off button like on a computer where if you hold it down for ten seconds, everything shuts off. No such luck with my brain, though, and I sighed heavily, rolling out of bed as gently as possible so as not to wake Olivia.

I giggled to myself, knowing that I could have jumped up and down on the bed and she probably would not have woken up, but I didn't want to chance it at any rate.

I grabbed a hoodie, throwing it around my shoulders and zipping it up as I padded out of our room and down the stairs toward the kitchen in hopes of finding something that would help me relax.

"Ompf!" someone grunted as I ran into a solid mass in the darkened hall and arms instantly encircled my waist.

My hands shot out in front of me to push away from whoever it was holding me as a scream caught in my throat. Almost as quickly as the scream built, I realized that the solid mass was in fact Edward as the soft scent of his soap assaulted my senses and I snaked my arms around his waist, seeking comfort from all the crazy thoughts that were keeping me awake.

"Hey," I whispered. "What are you doing up?"

He chuckled, "I was just about to ask you the same thing. You okay?"

"Yeah, just couldn't sleep," I said, turning to rest my head on his shoulder. "You?"

"Yeah," he said and I felt him drop a kiss to the top of my head. "Couldn't sleep either. You heading to the kitchen?"

I simply nodded against his chest, not willing to release my hold or make any motion to move, and neither did Edward. We stood just holding one another for a long moment before he reluctantly pulled back, slipping his hand in mine. Within seconds we were in the kitchen, trying to decide what would make the best late night snack.

"What about some warm milk?" Edward asked, grinning at me over his shoulder as he filled the doorway of the refrigerator. "I think some of those cookies Olivia and mom made earlier are in the pantry."

"Mmm…that sounds good, but I don't know if double chocolate chip cookies and sleep are conducive with one another," I laughed.

"True fact," Edward agreed, looking back inside the fridge and contemplating our options. "How about a turkey sandwich? Maybe that will give off enough tryptophan to induce sleep, yeah?"

"Sounds good," I said, turning to grab the bread from the pantry as Edward grabbed the other supplies we needed.

I returned with the bread and grabbed a couple of glasses for our milk before I began slicing a tomato as Edward carefully constructed our sandwiches.

I couldn't help but laugh at the completely adorable way his lips pursed in concentration over the task at hand.

"You really take your sandwich making seriously, don't you?" I teased.

He turned to grin crookedly at me as he nodded. "There's an art to building the perfect sandwich, my love, and this…" he said as he placed two slices of tomato on top of the perfectly arranged turkey and lettuce before covering it with the second slice of bread and holding his hands out to his sides dramatically, "Bam! Is the perfect sandwich."

"My own personal Emeril," I shook my head laughing and stealthily took the plate from him as he stared at me wide eyed.

I only laughed harder as his brow dropped into a playful scowl and his eyes followed me as I rounded the bar to find a stool.

"What?" I asked innocently as I took my seat, setting my glass of milk and plate before me.

Edward sighed dejectedly, dropping his head in defeat before chuckling and beginning to build a replacement for the sandwich I stole.

Not really sure how to broach all that we needed to talk about, I tucked into my sandwich while Edward put the finishing touches on his before taking a seat next to me.

After a few minutes of slightly uncomfortable silence as we finished our snack, I decided to just get it over with and started to speak.

"Edward-"

"Bella-"

We laughed as we both spoke at the same time. Expecting Edward to be the gentleman, as he usually was in these situations, I started again and was surprised when he held up his hand to stop me.

"Please, sweetheart," he said, meeting my surprised gaze. "I really need to say this."

He waited and I nodded, swallowing the sudden onslaught of nausea thickly.

Edward turned on his stool toward me and reached out, spinning me to face him so my knees were firmly held between his. He rested his large palms on my thighs and I could feel his warmth seeping through my cotton pajama pants as his thumbs ran up and down the seam on the inside of my pant legs.

He slowly leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead. My eyes fluttered closed and I looped my hands around his neck, playing with the hair at his nape unconsciously.

"I'm sorry," he murmured against my skin.

I pulled back to look into his eyes, shaking my head. "Edw-"

"No," he said, placing a finger on my lips to stop me saying anything further. "I need to tell you…. I'm sorry for how I've acted... I'm sorry that I didn't tell you more about my relationship with Irina and I'm sorry that I reacted the way I did with you today…or yesterday, whatever, you know what I mean."

I laughed lightly, the subject matter was heavy enough to start and I appreciated his attempt to keep the mood from becoming too emotional.

While the fact that Irina would be attending the party on Sunday didn't make me jealous, I was uncomfortable with the fact that she obviously was someone who had played a part in Edward's life; a part that was much bigger than I was made aware of before coming to Seattle.

"I just need you to know that I wasn't lying when I said you're the only person I have ever truly loved," he said, the intensity in his words and the way he was looking at me let me know that there was nothing but truth there and I nodded as I fought back tears.

My heart pounded in my chest and I tried to regulate my breathing as Edward reached up, cupping my cheek in his palm and smiling softly at me.

"There has never been a woman to make me feel what you do, Bella," he whispered my name as if saying a prayer, leaning forward to press his lips to mine in a gentle kiss.

"I should have explained things to you long before now," he said, dropping his hand back to my thigh but not breaking eye contact. "I told you I wasn't much of the social butterfly in high school or really even early on in college, and Irina was the only other woman that I have had any type of a serious relationship with. Even though our families had known of each other for years, she and I didn't actually meet until after I went to Northwestern. We really didn't run in the same circles here in Seattle, I guess you could say."

"Bella," he said, his voice was strained as he looked at me, a pleading look behind his eyes. "We…. we were engaged."

My eyes widened and I released a breath as if I had been punched in the gut. I'm not sure why that revelation hit me so hard, but suddenly I couldn't breathe.

Why would he not have told me something like this before?

After all that we had talked about over the last couple of months, how could he not tell me he had been engaged to this woman? To any woman?

A sudden shot of fear ran down my spine as I thought about the fact that he had just told me he had never truly loved anyone but me. I wasn't sure I could trust that statement completely if he could actually get down on one knee and ask someone to be his wife but then confess to me he didn't love them.

What did that mean for how he truly felt about me?

All the questions running through my mind at that moment made me dizzy.

"Sweetheart," Edward said as he quickly stood and pulled me to my feet, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and burying one hand in my hair, holding me so I couldn't look away. "Please… I see the doubt running through your mind. Please don't doubt me… you have to believe me when I tell you I love you. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before…. I just… I thought I loved her at one time, but not the way you _should_ love someone you are committing the rest of your life to. What I felt for her in all the years we spent together combined isn't even a drop in the bucket of what I feel for you."

Edward rushed on to continue explaining his history with Irina and her family, running his hand through my hair as I tried to gain some control over all the confusing emotions assaulting me at that moment.

"We got engaged about a year into our relationship. We were both still in school and decided that we would wait until we were more established in our careers before actually getting married," he said as he continued to hold me tightly.

"I became someone I didn't know, someone I didn't like… at all. Bella," he whispered, running his curled fingers down the curve of my jaw, "the person that lost his temper with you at the airport… that was the person I was with Irina. It was like a game with her and she loved it when I would lose it. It was like she fed off the drama. It became a sick habit for both of us - we would fight, she would cry, and then I would comfort her, and well…" he shrugged.

"It was like foreplay?" I asked and the thought of how twisted that was made my stomach churn.

He grimaced but nodded an affirmative before continuing with his confession.

"I knew it wasn't a _normal_ relationship, but I didn't know how to stop it or to get out of it. I tried to be what she wanted me to be, but it was never enough…."

Edward pulled back, framing my face between his palms as he looked into my eyes. I could feel the tears pooling on my lower lids as I took in the heartbreakingly sad look on Edward's face.

"My entire family tried to warn me that she wasn't right for me. They told me I was making a huge mistake, but I wouldn't listen. I was so stupid. It took me a long time to realize just how much I had changed while I was with her... I didn't see it then, but in hindsight I realized she didn't love me any more than I loved her. She loved what I could give her professionally, socially, financially, but never just _me_. That's what my family had been trying to tell me," Edward shook his head, smiling sadly into my eyes as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"After we broke up, I worked so hard to completely forget what I became when we were together," Edward searched my face, a sad smile on his lips. "I didn't know how to tell you…. how to explain, and I'm sorry that I didn't have the balls to do it," he said, his voice barely above a hoarse whisper.

"I didn't want you to know how much of a bastard I had been… I was afraid you would think I was still that person, and then you came home with me…. and I saw myself responding to you and a stressful situation between us the same way I did with her. I acted like such an ass.… and I still couldn't…. I'm so sorry… I-"

I cut him off before he could continue with his rambling apology by pulling him down and crushing my lips to his.

"Stop," I whispered as I pulled back slightly to smile up at him. "You are not that person. I do wish you had talked to me about this before but it's-"

"I haven't even told you the worst part," Edward cut me off, laughing humorlessly and looking deep into my eyes as his hands slid down to my neck and then lower over my shoulders to finally find their favorite place resting on my hips.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly through his nose before looking at me once again.

"The reason I broke things off with Irina…. I went into the office on my day off to talk to my father about a case I was concerned about and walked in on her and Carlisle in a…. compromising position. I very nearly beat the shit out of my father that day."

My jaw literally came unhinged at that revelation and I gaped at him with wide eyes, completely stunned.

"It wasn't until a few hours later that I learned Irina was the one who propositioned him and what I interrupted was actually _him_ trying to fight _her_ off," he continued. "The whole situation was a complete disaster and pretty much tore my family apart for a time. I swear to you, Bella, I didn't know until tonight she had latched on to Marcus and would be attending this weekend. My father told me while we were upstairs. I was planning on talking to you after dinner, but Alice threw it out on the table before I had a chance. That's why Carlisle said what he did at dinner. He knew I hadn't spoken to you yet. God, baby, I don't know how to explain to you how much I wish I had told you all this sooner. I'm so sorry."

He rested his forehead against mine and we stood there, looking at one another for a long moment.

"Please say something," he begged.

"I don't know what to say….." I cupped his face with my hand, brushing my thumb over the stubble of his jaw. He leaned into my touch before turning to kiss my palm. "I'm so sorry that you went through something like that. You're a good man, Edward. You didn't deserve to be treated in such a way."

I stood up on tip toe to press my lips to his once more in a slow kiss, hoping to reassure him that I was here and that everything was okay between us.

So many different scenarios had run through my head over the course of the day. None of them, however, included what I now knew to be the truth. I couldn't wrap my mind around the type of person it would take to treat this beautiful man in such a careless way.

"I love you," I whispered. "You know that, right?"

He nodded and I could see his eyes were shining with unshed tears in the dim light.

Reluctantly, we finally pulled apart and set about cleaning up the mess we made with our snack before finding our way back up the stairs. Edward had taken my hand as we left the kitchen and didn't release it until we were standing outside the room I was sharing with Olivia.

"Bella," he murmured, pulling me into his arms and I could feel the apology building in him again.

"Shh, Edward, don't," I said as I placed a finger to his lips and smiled as he kissed the tip. "Just promise me there won't be any more secrets, okay?"

"I promise," he said. "I really didn't mean to keep it a secret….I just…"

"I know," I nodded when he trailed off, a small smile pulled at the corner of my mouth. "I do… but, Edward…. you hurt me by not being honest with me, okay?"

Although I better understood his thinking, that by no means meant it didn't hurt to learn he had kept such a significant part of his past from me. I realized the experience was a building block in our relationship, and thankfully we had come through it stronger.

"Bella," he breathed, "I'm so sorry I hurt you, baby."

Dipping his head he brushed his lips over my temple, my cheek, and eyelids before finally covering my mouth in a searing kiss. The intensity of his kiss took my breath away before he pulled away slightly to rest his forehead against mine. I gasped for air as he held my face gently, as if in benediction, between his palms.

"Stay with me….please? Let me love you tonight."

* * *

**Hope you better understand Edward's thinking a bit better now that we have more of his history with Irina. **

**I have to send a huge thank you out to the ladies at P I C FanFic Corner for rec'ing Need You Now on their blog last week. Mr. Green your the best! **

**You can find the interview here: **http:/picffcorner(.)blogspot(.)com/2010/08/mr-green-and-bellasunderstudy1-need-you(.)html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter (take out the parenthesis of course ^_~ )

**Thank you all once again for your love of this story and your support from the very beginning. **

**Chapter 24 is finished and should, barring some crazy RL event, post on time next week. Until then...**

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1**

**Please visit www(.)cff(.)org to get more information on Cystic Fibrosis and it's treatments.  
**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N : Evening my dear ones! **

**As always I have to send out my thanks to Jessica1971 who is without doubt my Master Yoda and always there for me, whether it's working her magic on my words, talking me out of a crazy angsty turn in NYN or just listening she's the best! Love ya babe!**

**Ok, so I feel like I need to make a little clarification just to make sure everyone understands the thing with Carlisle and Irina...there was _no_ actual affair or more than Irina making a pass, a serious pass, at Carlisle. That was what Edward walked in on, they were not having an affair and it was a one time thing. Edward, lost his temper understandably. He's not perfect, close but no was understandably upset by the whole thing and it caused a lot of problems but there was not anything more than that one improper encounter between Irina and Carlisle.  
**

**Anyway, I just wanted to make sure that was clear. **

**Thanks to all of you who are reading and reviewing. You guys are so incredibly awesome! **

**On with the story, enjoy...  
**

* * *

Chapter 24 Family Time...

BPOV

_"Stay with me….please? Let me love you tonight."_

"Edward," I breathed, my eyes closing and my knees literally buckling at the desperation in his voice.

The realization of just how much he needed me, not just physically but emotionally as well, hit me hard.

It was quite possibly the first time in our relationship where I fully understood how much Edward needed reassurance of _us, _that we were okay. It was evident in that moment he needed a reminder of our connection after the mess he felt he had made of the day.

Even if I had an iron will of resolve – which I don't when it comes to Edward – there would have been no way I could have refused his plea.

"Please, Bella," he murmured, framing my face between his palms and resting his forehead against mine, his words coming out in a rush. "I need you…. Oh, God…I need you so much, Bella."

"Shh… it's okay….I know, baby," I whispered as I threaded my fingers into his hair and closed the last bit of distance to bring his lips to mine.

That was all he needed to hear as he quickly bent without breaking our kiss to wrap his hands around my thighs, lifting and wrapping my legs around his waist; his arms encircled me, holding me tightly to him as I locked my ankles behind his back.

He quickly turned to make his way back down the hall toward his room.

"I love you," he said on a broken whisper, his voice rough as he pulled away to pepper open mouthed kisses over my jaw, nipping and licking his way down the column of my neck.

My head dropped back to allow him better access as he found the pounding pulse point at the base of my neck and a quiet moan escaped my lips.

"Oh God, Edward," I sighed as my arms tightened around his shoulders, my fingers tugging at his hair, holding him closer. "I love you, too."

His hands slid to my bottom, pulling me tighter to him as he pushed through the door.

I felt one hand leave my body as he kicked the door closed. The clicking sound of the lock brought a smile to my face as I pressed my lips to the shell of his ear before taking the lobe between my teeth, gaining a guttural groan from Edward that rumbled through my whole body, settling deep in the pit of my stomach.

Edward made his way across the room, gently laying me on the bed.

He chuckled when I didn't let go, tightening my arms and legs around his body instead and dragging him down on the bed until he completely covered me with his body, catching himself on his elbows.

Mutual groans of pleasure rolled from each of us as he settled between my legs and the friction of his shifting hips did extremely delicious things to my body.

"God, baby," he sighed, his warm breath washing over my exposed skin as he used his nose to push the fabric of my hoodie out of his way to place open mouthed kisses across my chest, lightly nipping at my collarbone and causing gooseflesh to pebble my skin. My arms tightened involuntarily.

Edward slid a hand between us, lifting his chest just enough to slide the zipper of my hoodie down and push it from my body without taking his lips away from my skin.

I moaned and my head fell back against the pillows as Edward pressed me further into the mattress and I could feel the evidence of his desire against my hip. His fingers slipped under the hem of my tank and pushed higher until he brushed the underside of my breast.

Edward growled when he discovered I wasn't wearing a bra and instantly began teasing the already hardened tip, running his thumb around and over until I thought I would lose my mind with want as he continued his assault on my neck and shoulder.

Arching my back into Edward's touch, I seemed to lose all concept of reality. Before I could process what happened, our clothes had melted away and I laid beneath him completely bare.

"So beautiful," he whispered as he pressed his lips to my abdomen and nuzzled my navel, the stubble on his face rough against my skin.

I shivered as his warm breath washed over me and felt his mouth pull into a grin as he moved lower, closer to where I needed him most.

Choking on a gasp, I bit my lip to stifle the cry of pleasure when Edward finally put his mouth on me; one large palm splayed across my stomach to hold me in place as his thumb ran nonsensical patterns across my skin.

He worked my body, finding all the places he knew would make it sing for him and playing it masterfully.

I felt as if my body was on fire; the orgasm built deep in my abdomen, spreading the inferno through my torso and legs as Edward continued to work his magic.

The slow burn was making me crazy with need, then suddenly he was gone and I whimpered at the loss. My eyes snapped open in surprise and widened as I looked up to see Edward hovering over me with a feral look of desire on his face, his eyes dark, almost menacing as they seemed to glow with the intensity of his need.

Before I could register anything more than Edward entering me with one quick thrust, my body shattered into a million blissful pieces.

My teeth tore into the skin of my lower lip to suppress the scream fighting to get out of my throat with the sheer ecstasy, the completeness, I felt every time we were together in this way.

"Oh God, baby…." Edward grunted into the curve of my neck as he moved against my body.

Lifting my head to press a kiss to the curve of his shoulder, Edward groaned in pleasure. My hands made their way up his back; dragging my nails lightly as I went, I could feel the quiver of his muscles beneath my fingertips as he set a tortuously slow rhythm.

I wrapped my legs around the back of his thighs, trying desperately to hold him tighter to me, opening myself to him and pulling him further inside. I could feel his smile against my skin as a throaty moan fell from my lips as he drove deeper with each thrust.

The next wave of my orgasm was already building, my breath coming in gasping pants as the intensity of what he made me feel washed over me. I curled my hands over his shoulders, my nails bit into his skin as I felt the coil tightening to the point of explosion once again.

Edward ghosted a hand down, brushing the outside of my breast, before stopping at the curve of my hip, his fingers tightening as his rhythm began to change. Slowly making his way over my thigh to hook his fingers behind my knee, he suddenly hitched my leg over his hip.

My head fell back, mouth opened in a silent scream as the white hot light blinded me from everything but the feeling of Edward moving inside me; he ground out my name as he followed me into oblivion.

~O~

I stumbled my way into the bathroom after waking in Edward's bed alone. I smiled as I saw a toothbrush and face cloth waiting for me on the countertop.

The fact he remembered I refused to do anything in the morning before brushing my teeth and cleaning my face was just another example of how he cared for me and a warm sensation filled my chest at the knowledge he knew me so well.

I'm not exactly a morning person, by any stretch of the imagination, and doing those two things helped me be somewhat more coherent.

Once I was finished with my obsessive morning compulsions, I padded my way down the hall to check on Olivia, who I found was still sacked out in the bed we were supposed to have shared.

Tiptoeing across the room, I brushed the hair away from her face. I felt my breath catch and my eyes burn when she smiled in her sleep, releasing a tiny sigh. It was something she had done anytime I would touch her in her sleep since she was a tiny baby. Mike and I had decided when she was just an infant that it was a sign of how happy she was. I was glad to see that she still had the same reaction.

Turning to leave the room, I gently closed the door behind me before making my way downstairs toward the smell of coffee wafting through the house.

Edward smiled, crossing quickly to me as I stepped into the kitchen.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Edward whispered, pressing a kiss to my hair and chuckling at my grunted "g'mornin'" as I melted into his arms.

"Come on," he chortled, releasing me to take my hand and lead me further into the kitchen. "There's coffee, sleepyhead."

"Mmm, thank you," I sighed, accepting the offered cup of coffee, my eyes sliding closed as the aroma infused my senses and sighing in contentment.

"You weren't kidding about her not being a morning person, were you?"

My eyes popped open at the sound of Alice's voice. She was sitting at the breakfast table, a wide smile on her face.

I hadn't even noticed her when I entered the room, which is yet another testimony to how incoherent I can be in the mornings.

"No, I wasn't kidding at all." Edward shook his head, laughing lightly and bringing his own steaming cup to his lips as I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Good morning, Alice," I said, smiling. "How are you this morning?"

"I'm good, thank you," she said, her hand slowly running over her rounded tummy. "The little guy actually let me get a couple hours of sleep last night without either karate kicking my liver or using my bladder as a punching bag. I swear my internal organs will never be the same."

I snorted a laugh, nodding my head in agreement and leaning against the counter. Taking a sip of coffee, I hummed in delight as the hot liquid slid down my throat.

"Where are your parents?" I asked, turning to see Edward setting his own coffee mug down next to me before opening the fridge.

"Oh, uh…" Edward said, staring into the open door before beginning to remove items. "Mom had some things she needed to pick up for the party, but it looks like she made a few things for breakfast before leaving." he said, smiling as he placed his bounty on the counter next to me. "Dad had to do rounds this morning, but they should be back soon."

Edward's face cracked into a crooked grin, a glint in his eye when his arm brushed against mine and the electricity that always flowed between us coursed through my body. I couldn't stop the returning smirk that pulled at the corner of my mouth as we stared into one another's eyes.

"Alright, big brother," Alice called out as she moved to take a seat on a stool at the bar, "quit standing there making goo goo eyes at Bella and hand me the goodies, 'cuz the pregnant woman's starving and I don't think you want to deal with a hungry pregnant woman. Just sayin'."

Edward and I both laughed before an unfamiliar male voice rang out in the room.

"Oh, I can most definitely vouch for the fact you do not want to deal with this particular pregnant woman when she's hungry."

My eyes widened as I looked up to see a very tall, extremely attractive, blond man entering the room and making his way toward Alice. I realized quickly I was staring, but I couldn't stop myself.

"Good morning, darlin'," he said, pressing a kiss to her cheek before turning his attention to me, the corner of his mouth pulling slowly into a crooked smirk.

I felt my face burn at being caught ogling the man who obviously was Alice's husband, Jasper, and dropped my gaze into my coffee cup.

"Don't worry, Bella," Alice giggled. I looked up to see a very familiar evil glint in her eye as she looked at me and teased. "Jasper has that affect on a lot of people. Don't you, honey?"

I quirked an eyebrow at Edward as I heard him scoff, but saw the smirk on his face as he shook his head, rolling his eyes.

"If you say so," Jasper shrugged, smiling down at his wife as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I'm assuming you're Bella?"

"Yes, and I take it you're Jasper," I smiled, shaking my head. "Nice to meet you."

"Pleased to meet you, ma'am," he said, still smirking as he dipped his head. "It's nice to put the beautiful face with all that I've been told recently. Esme has been over the moon about you and your daughter for weeks. I apologize for not being able to meet both of you last night but-"

"Oh no," I cut him off, shaking my head and waving dismissively. "No need to apologize. I completely understand. We've all been in the same situation, so please don't think another thing about it."

He nodded and turned his attention to Edward.

"So, slick, you cook this morning?" he asked, quirking a disbelieving eyebrow as he nodded at the spread before him. "When did you learn to do anything more than boil water?"

"Shut up," Edward said rather harshly, but I could hear him fighting the laugh in his voice. "I can cook. But no, Mom fixed all this stuff before she headed out earlier."

I snorted into my coffee cup and looked up to see three pairs of eyes trained on me. "What?"

"What are you snorting at, missy?" Edward asked as he propped against the counter beside me, placing an arm behind me and leaning toward me while scowling playfully.

"Nothing," I said innocently. I couldn't stop the smile as the memory of how the last time I tried to give Edward some pointers on preparing something other than the simplest of dishes turned into much more than a cooking lesson.

Edward's eyes darkened and a grin broke out on his face as the same memory ran through his mind, as well. I bit the inside of my cheek to stop the moan from escaping as I felt his thumb slip under the hem of both the hoodie and tank I wore, skimming along my lower back.

"Oh, I believe there's a story there," Jasper chuckled, causing both of us to startle and move away from one another slightly.

"Um…" Edward cleared his throat and looked sheepishly at his brother in law as pink colored the tips of his ears. "Yeah, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Uh-huh, whatever," Alice snickered and winked at me as I dipped my head to hide the smirk on my face.

Edward shot me a pointed look and muttered a sarcastic 'thanks' as I choked on a giggle.

"Looks like not being a morning person is genetic," Alice said, laughing and tilting her head toward where a very disgruntled looking Olivia was entering the room.

"Good morning, princess," Edward said, dropping a kiss to the top of her head as she stopped for a hug before making her way to where I stood.

"Morning," she mumbled.

"How are you this morning, baby?" I asked, pressing a kiss of my own to her forehead and smoothing a hand over her hair as she buried her face in my chest and leaned heavily against me.

"Fine," she said, her voice muffled in the fabric of my hoodie as she curled her arms around my waist.

"You forgot to say good morning to everyone," I whispered as she reached up to rub the sleep from her eyes. Olivia lifted her head slightly, turning to smile at the other occupants of the room - who like me she had not noticed on her way in - uttering a quiet greeting.

"Olivia, this is Jasper." I gestured toward Jasper where he now sat beside Alice before smiling down at Olivia. "And Jasper, this is Olivia."

"It's very nice to meet you, Olivia," Jasper said, looking at Olivia with a soft smile.

"Nice to meet you, too, sir," Olivia said, her cheeks pinking slightly as she met Jasper's gaze.

It seemed my girl had the same reaction to Jasper that I did when first meeting him.

I snickered as I saw Edward shaking his head and laughing quietly to himself before turning back to his coffee.

"Olivia, honey, dig in," Alice said, laughing as she popped a large slice of melon in her mouth. "There may be nothing left once I get started."

Never being one to be shy about eating, Olivia quickly woke up enough to dig right into the muffins, fruit, and pastries that Esme had prepared and left for us in her absence.

The conversation was easy and flowed comfortably as we made our plates and took a seat around the breakfast table situated in front of the massive wall of windows. The laughter rang out often as we each consumed more than our fair share of carbs.

Looking out over the water just beyond the manicured lawn, an incredibly peaceful feeling fell over me; I sighed contentedly, smiling around the table, taking in the faces of people who I had only met within the last twenty-four hours, but felt as though I had known them all my life.

I watched Edward tease Olivia as he handed her a napkin when icing from the pastry she was devouring ran down her chin.

It felt so right to be sitting with these people, in their family home, eating breakfast as if we had done it numerous times.

After finishing breakfast, Olivia and I cleaned up the kitchen with Edward's help. Alice and Jasper headed home, promising they would be back later in the day to go out on the boat with everyone.

We had decided to take Esme up on her invitation and bring my dad and Sue back to take them out on the water for the afternoon. I knew Charlie would be beside himself to get a look at Carlisle's boat and didn't think it would be too difficult to talk him into the idea.

Sending both Olivia and Edward off to get ready, I finished putting away the last of the breakfast leftovers. I smiled as the realization of how much the three of us already felt like a family.

Though there were many things Edward and I had not figured out about one another, as the day before demonstrated perfectly, I couldn't imagine him not being a part of our lives.

I began to think about the last two days and how nice it was to say 'goodnight' and not 'goodbye' at the end of the day. I wondered for a moment what it would be like to do that every night and smiled at the images running through my head.

The smile began to fade when I realized that a decision like that didn't only affect Edward and I, or Olivia for that matter; it would change things for Rosalie, as well.

Considering Rosalie and what she would do if we took that step twisted my stomach in guilt. I couldn't just kick her out because I decided I wanted Edward to move in, not after all that she had given up to help me when I needed her most.

I shook my head as I made my way back upstairs, realizing that I didn't know where Edward's thoughts were on taking such a step in our relationship. It was something we needed to discuss when we got back home, and then when I knew where he stood on the idea I could decide how to broach the subject with Rosalie.

~O~

"So things seem to be going pretty well with Edward," Sue commented, looping her arm through mine as we trailed behind the others.

I chuckled as I saw Charlie being drug by Olivia down the dock toward the Cullens' boat as she chattered away excitedly to both he and Edward.

Just as I had suspected, it was pretty much a non-issue convincing my dad and Sue to come back with us to take a trip out on the lake. Charlie rarely turned down an opportunity to be on the water and I had no doubt that he and Carlisle would hit it off immediately.

I hadn't been wrong and smiled as I spotted Carlisle and Charlie talking and could see the wide smile on his face as he took Olivia from Edward's outstretched arms, lifting her on deck as Edward climbed aboard just behind her.

Even though at his core Charlie was an introvert, as the chief of police he was accustomed to meeting new people on a daily basis. The fact that Carlisle was an avid fisherman gave them a lot of fodder for conversation.

The meeting between my father and Edward had gone much better than the initial one with Renee. Charlie wasn't as overbearing as my mother, though he was just as protective. As long as Edward treated Olivia and I well, he was happy.

Charlie, being the quintessential cop, never missed a thing and I watched as he took in every detail of Edward and Olivia interacting since we met up with them a few hours before. It seemed that so far his assessment was a positive one.

Jasper and Alice had returned just after we arrived with my dad and Sue and were just reaching the boat along with Esme, who had packed a ridiculous amount of food into a basket which she handed up to Carlisle before climbing aboard.

I couldn't help but laugh despite myself when I heard Edward's laughter ring out and looked up to see Edward and Jasper trying to help Alice onto the boat. She did not look like she found the situation at all funny, which seemed to make the boys find it even more hilarious.

Seeing Edward at home with his family caused a warm sensation in the center of my chest as it was clear how much he loved each of them. Even he and Jasper; though they ribbed each other mercilessly, it was obviously in good humored fun and plain that they cared for each other as if they were truly brothers.

"Yeah," I said. "Things are really good."

* * *

**Hope you all enjoyed their time together and the first part of their day with the family. Next chapter will finish up their day with the whole family and the party. See you all next time!**

**Until then...**

**xoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1**

**p.s. please visit www(.)cff(.)org for more information on Cystic Fibrosis and it's treatments. Thank you all again!  
**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Hi lovelies! Sorry for the delay here but lots of things occurred that just kept this chapter from getting out on time. RL craziness as usual and technical difficulties for my beta extraordinaire (computer death is never a good thing, just sayin') **

**A big thank you to said beta extraordinaire, Jessica1971, for all her awesomesauce skills at making my words prettier to read, 'cause let me tell ya my grammar sucks. **

**Without further ado...enjoy a little EPOV.  
**

**

* * *

Chapter 25 Moonlight Declarations...**

"I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you." ~Anonymous.

**EPOV**

Meeting Bella's father had been a much more pleasant experience than the initial encounter with her mother.

The cop side of Charlie Swan came out in the way he obviously watched every move I made. Charlie was first and foremost Bella's father, but he missed nothing as he observed my interactions with not only Bella but Olivia, as well.

I couldn't blame him. He only wanted to ensure I wouldn't wind up hurting both Bella and Olivia, though I had to admit it made me nervous as hell; if I were in his position I would have done the same thing.

I shivered as even the thought of Olivia dating made my skin crawl. I could only imagine how hard it was for Charlie after all Bella had gone through with losing Mike and Olivia's illness.

And after my massive fail with Bella the day before, though Charlie had no knowledge of it that I knew, I was even more nervous about meeting him the first time. Much more so than I had been meeting Renee, and that was saying a lot.

For most of the day before I arrived at Olivia's recital knowing I was going to meet Bella's mother and step-father, I fought waves of nausea. The nerves that overtook me when I arrived at the venue were worse than my first day as an intern.

Then to have that first introduction not exactly go according to plan… to say I hadn't held out a great deal of hope as to how things would proceed with Charlie would be an understatement.

I was wrong, thankfully.

It seemed that, so far, he wasn't finding anything overtly alarming and I was able to relax slightly as the day continued. It hadn't helped my nervousness that Bella thought she was being stealthy with her snickers at my jumpiness every time Charlie called my name.

It seemed Charlie and Carlisle were getting along famously, though, and I couldn't have been happier about that fact. I couldn't remember the last time I saw my dad more ecstatic than when he discovered Charlie shared his love for fly fishing.

He had definitely found a new friend in Charlie.

The two of them spent the entire day discussing the myriad of different fly fishing lures. Carlisle was pleasantly surprised to find out that Charlie actually made many of his own flies. I could see the excitement in my father's eyes when Charlie offered to show him how to do it himself.

Their conversation eventually moved on to the specs on a new Bayliner Carlisle had been eyeing for the last year or so. Though Jasper and I knew enough to occasionally interject an opinion, those two were lost in their own little world.

Even though I knew it would be to my benefit to at least attempt to stay in the conversation with Charlie and Carlisle, my attention continued to be pulled toward my girls who were laughing it up with my mother and sister as they relaxed on the seating area at the bow of the boat.

Sue, Charlie's wife, caught my eye on more than one occasion as my gaze would fall on Bella. She would smile knowingly before returning her attention to the conversation at hand.

I smiled as Olivia crawled up into Sue's lap and settled her head against her shoulder. It was obvious how much she missed both Charlie and Sue and I made a vow right then and there to make sure she and Bella made the trip out to see them more.

I knew from what Bella told me that the last trip they planned for a visit had been canceled because Olivia got sick. I was also well aware that, as a single mom, Bella wasn't able to afford many trips across the country for both her and Olivia.

Regardless of the help she got from her family, Bella was a proud woman and there was only so much she would accept before going ape about it being a hand out and there were just other things higher up the priority scale than plane tickets for a flight to Washington very often.

Seeing Olivia beside herself with happiness over the attention she was receiving from Charlie and Sue created a very nice feeling in the center of my chest.

Even more than that, she was totally and completely the center of my family's attention. Without a doubt my mother had fallen head over heels for her when they met in Atlanta. But the experience of seeing my father, who was an absolute goner as soon as he laid eyes on Olivia in the airport the day before, was not something I had ever given a great deal of thought to; I had to admit I liked the way he seemed to be almost as in love with Olivia as I was, and to say that deal was sealed when Bella allowed he and Esme to spend the day with her would be a gross understatement.

My parents were in absolute heaven.

And I would've had to be blind and stupid not to see how much Alice was enjoying getting to know not only Olivia but Bella, as well. Alice had never really tried to get to know Irina; she seemed to just 'know' as soon as she met her that she wasn't the one for me and didn't hold back in making it abundantly clear at every opportunity.

I excused myself and stepped away from the conversation my father and Charlie were carrying on to lean against the rail at the stern, looking out over the water.

There was a peacefulness I felt every time I came out on the lake and I understood on some level my father's fascination with being out here and why he had always spent so much time on the boat.

I had forgotten how much I loved it as well, and not for the first time in the last forty-eight hours I was glad I made the trip home, gladder still that Bella had accompanied me even with the issues from the previous day.

Though I still felt horrible for not being completely open and honest with Bella about my past, she forgave me and to my immense relief was more understanding than I could have ever asked.

Thoughts of the last two nights with Bella flashed through my mind and I knew once again I needed to talk to her about where our relationship was going.

I knew things would be different when we returned to Atlanta and I just wasn't sure that I could let her go home as I went back to my empty apartment, alone. Now that I had both of my girls with me and didn't have to say goodbye at the end of the night, I knew there was no way I could go back to the way things were before.

I wanted Bella with me - _always_.

I was startled out of my thoughts as I felt a slight tap on my upper arm. I turned to see Charlie offering me a beer, which I gladly took before he leaned on his elbows beside me as the sun began its fall, casting yellow and orange over the broken surface of the lake.

"You have a real nice family, son, and I'm gonna assume that your intentions are good when it comes to my daughter and granddaughter," Charlie said, his voice low and gravelly.

Bella told me he stopped a few years ago after having a heart attack, but it was still obvious in the rasp of his voice he had a long history of smoking.

"Yes, sir," I nodded before adding. "I love them both very much, sir."

Charlie nodded.

"You're alright with Olivia's…" he trailed off with only a slight grimace on his face.

I knew how difficult it was for me to think about Olivia's condition; I really couldn't imagine how hard it was for Charlie, especially with the fact that he only saw her once or twice a year, in a good year.

"Yes, sir," I nodded, looking down at the bottle in my hand and swallowing thickly.

I saw Charlie nod from my peripheral vision; clearing his throat, he took a deep breath and looked out over the lake at nothing in particular as he released it slowly through his nose before turning to me and nailing me with a hard look.

I swear they must teach that in the police academy; it was intimidating.

"Don't hurt my girls, son."

He walked away without so much as a second glance in my direction, rejoining my father just as he navigated the boat into a hidden cove and to a small dock on the island our family frequented.

Carlisle and I spent the summer I turned sixteen constructing that dock. He had jumped through whatever hoops he had to getting approval from the Core of Engineers so we could get to the island without wading through the shallows.

That year had been a bad one for me, as it is for most boys growing out of adolescence and trying to become an adult.

Being a skinny, awkward boy with a huge crush on the most popular girl in school that had no idea I even existed... I was _not_ the most eligible bachelor back in the day - not by a long shot - and had no idea what the hell I was doing with myself most of the time. Looking back on that summer, I had come to realize that time spent with my father for what it really was; it wasn't just an opportunity for him to get free labor, which I most definitely remember thinking that was exactly the case at the time, but he used that time together to help me work through my frustrations.

By just being there and letting me talk about what was going on in my life - or not, depending on the mood of the day - he let me figure out all by myself that although the girl of my dreams was more interested in the good looks of the captain of the football team than she was in the little geeky guy who helped or more like did her Calc I homework for her, the pretty packaging wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

He was trying to help me understand that one day - with patience - I would come into my own and everything would work out, eventually.

I should have learned that lesson and remembered what he had tried to teach me when I came into contact with Irina. Obviously I wasn't always a quick study and it took a damn long time for everything to work out as it should.

Even still, I knew I definitely found what my father tried to tell me was out there waiting; I just had to be patient.

As my eyes landed on Bella standing beside my mother, the late afternoon sun catching the auburn in her hair, I felt the smile pull at the corner of my mouth and realized, yet again, that my father was a brilliant man.

The smile on my face stretched even wider as I saw Charlie catch Olivia in mid air as she launched herself off the deck of the boat to where he stood on the dock.

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me as she squealed with delight when he spun her around before hefting her up on his back and taking off at a gallop toward the beach.

Bella turned and looked up at me with a soft, happy smile on her face and I felt a warm sensation spread through my chest as her eyes said much more than any words ever could.

If I hadn't known it before - though honestly I did - in that moment I knew there was no way I would ever let that woman go. Without doubt I would walk through fire to make sure she was always mine.

I'm not sure what was reflected in my expression, but evidently the burning desire I felt to make her a permanent fixture in my life was showing because Bella's eyes widened slightly before her smile spread across her entire face and she nodded.

I watched as Alice looped her arm through Bella's and shot me a knowing look before pulling Bella up the dock. Their heads leaned toward one another just before Bella threw hers back and her lovely laugh rang out.

"You've got it so bad, my friend," Jasper drawled from behind me and I turned to see him shake his head, chuckling as he lifted one of the large bins of food my mother instructed us to bring on shore from the boat.

A picnic with my mother was never a simple affair and yet again she had not disappointed. The amount of food she stocked in the galley along with the basket she hefted on deck before we set out was enough to feed a small army.

"Can you blame me?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow at him as I lifted my own bin of food.

Jasper looked at me for a long moment, a knowing smirk on his face.

"Nope, not at all," he finally said, turning and making his way up the dock toward where the rest of our family waited.

~O~

I looked down at Olivia's sleeping form as she lay on a blanket beside a small fire Jasper and Charlie started a short time before. Night had fully fallen and the nocturnal sounds of nature reverberated all around us.

It was peaceful and I felt more relaxed than I had in a very long time.

Bella sat just on the other side of Olivia and smiled up at me as our eyes met.

I leaned over to press a kiss to her cheek before whispering in her ear.

"Take a walk with me?"

Bella looked around at our family who were carrying on quiet conversation about the party the following day.

My mother was still trying to convince Sue and Charlie to stay overnight at the house and attend.

Unfortunately, Charlie was on duty the following day and they had refused, politely, but repeatedly. My mother wasn't one to take no for an answer and seeing how well everyone seemed to get along, she wasn't ready to let them off the hook easily.

She could be very persuasive; I didn't doubt that by the time we made it back she had at least talked Sue into staying.

Bella nodded and I stood quickly.

"Bella and I are going for a walk," I said, holding out a hand to help Bella stand as well. "Would you guys-"

"No need to ask," Sue cut me off, standing to take Bella's seat beside Olivia and waving a hand dismissively. "You kids go on, we'll watch over our girl, here."

"Thanks, Sue," Bella said and bent to kiss her step-mother on the cheek before taking my hand again.

I led her down to the water's edge before starting toward the destination I had in mind. We walked for quite a long time in a comfortable silence, neither one of us really willing to break the magic of the night with words. There was just something about being outside in the night air. Though it was the end of May, the night was crisp and still; it was peaceful.

Turning to look out over the lake, the moonlight danced on the water's surface and I felt a smile pull at my lips. Images of the day spent with our family, knowing that the woman at my side was more than I could have ever hoped for and feeling immensely thankful that she had come into my life.

"What are you thinking about?" Bella's voice was soft, barely above a whisper as she looked up at me with those big brown eyes that I truly got lost in every time I looked at her.

"I…" I hesitated, not sure exactly how to explain what I was thinking, what I was feeling. I brought her hand to my lips, pressing a kiss to the inside of her wrist and breathed in the scent of her skin, whispering, "I was thinking about how much I love you."

Bella smiled and searched my face. I could see so many things she wanted to say, to ask, burning in her eyes, but at that moment we reached the area I was looking for when we set out on this little journey.

I looked down at her then and smiled, pulling her along the rocky bank.

"Ah, Edward," Bella said, laughing. "Slow down, you know I'm a klutz."

"Come on, baby," I turned as I reached the top, taking both her hands in mine and helping her over one of the larger rocks and out onto the flat surface of a mammoth boulder that created an overhang into yet another small cove on the other side of our island. "You know I would never let you fall."

Bella looked up into my eyes then, a slow smile spread across her face as she breathed, "I know."

Reaching up to frame Bella's beautiful face between my palms, I brought her lips to mine softly and felt her melt against me.

I couldn't stop my next action anymore than I could have stopped the sun from setting or the moon from rising.

There was absolutely no thought, no planning, as the words tumbled out of my mouth. Though they had been bouncing around in my mind for weeks, I truly had no intention of giving life to them at that moment; they were strictly my heart speaking its utmost desire.

"Marry me, Bella," I whispered against her lips.

Bella's entire body went completely rigid and for a moment I was taken aback at her response to my kiss until I replayed the last thirty seconds in my head.

My eyes shot open to see Bella staring at me, jaw unhinged, in a complete stunned silence.

"I….I," I stammered, not sure what to say at that moment and slightly in shock myself.

Had I actually said those words to her?

_Holy hell…I really had just proposed to her. _

_Oh god! _

I blinked, still holding her face in my hands, and tried to take in a breath though my chest suddenly felt two sizes too small for my lungs.

"Bella," I choked as she continued to just stare at me, "I'm…. I don't know what… look just forget I said-"

"Stop," she said, coming out of whatever comatose state my epic fail had sent her into, her voice shaky and weak.

She stepped back slightly out of my grasp, staring up at me wide-eyed and confused.

Fisting a hand in her hair and shaking her head, she dropped her gaze to the rock's surface.

"Just stop a second."

She looked up and blinked rapidly several times before releasing a heavy sigh, staring straight through me.

I felt my stomach churning and knew that the heavy meal we had eaten just a short time before was definitely going to be making a return trip very soon if she continued to look at me with that expression on her face.

Running a hand through my hair repeatedly, I tried to get my breathing under control before I passed out. At that moment, I wasn't sure which was going to happen first - the passing out or the puking.

Bella turned and walked to the edge of the rock quickly before pacing back toward where I stood rooted in place.

"Ed-…Di-….you…" she stuttered and stopped, covering her mouth with her hand as she stared at me then turned to make the same trip out to the edge of the rock and back.

When she stood before me again, I had gotten some control over the hyperventilation, though I still felt as though I was going to puke at any moment. I swallowed thickly as she stared up at me with an unreadable expression on her face.

Finally, after what felt like a hundred years, she spoke.

"Did you just propose to me, Edward?"

I couldn't tell if she was angry or just shocked, but I nodded all the same. This wasn't exactly how I ever, in my wildest imagination, thought this moment would go. It didn't change the fact that a) I wanted more than anything to make her my wife, b) I had been thinking about making it a fact for quite a while, and c) I _had_ actually proposed.

"Why?" she breathed.

I blinked and jerked back as though I had been sucker punched in the gut as all the oxygen in my body was sucked out, violently.

It was pretty obvious to me in that one word that Bella and I weren't as much on the same page about where our relationship was going as I had thought. Although I had not planned on making my intentions of where I thought we were headed so obvious at that very moment in time, I certainly hadn't expected _that_ response.

I felt sick and swallowed as the bile rose in the back of my throat, knowing it was a stupid thing to have done, even unconsciously, after what had occurred between us the day before. I just didn't realize it would hurt so much when she refused me; I took a shallow breath, still unable to breathe properly. It seemed my lungs had been sucked out of my body along with all of the oxygen.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I choked.

"Edward," she said, stepping into me and wrapping her arms around my middle.

My eyes closed and as much as it probably makes me a pansy to admit it, they were burning with tears as her rejection tore my heart to shreds.

As much as I was hurting at that moment, I couldn't stop myself from wrapping my arms around her and pulling her into a tight embrace, burying my face in her hair as she pressed her cheek against my chest, her hands curled in the fabric at the back of my shirt.

I could feel her body shivering in my arms.

"I just meant, why now?" she murmured into my chest. "Why this moment? Why tonight?"

She pulled back slightly to look up at me and even in the moonlight I could see her eyes shining with unshed tears of her own.

"Why, Edward. Not no," she whispered. "Just why would you ask that now?"

I sucked in a breath and thankfully didn't puke or pass out as her words hit me square in the chest, seeming to re-inflate my lungs.

I figured my best plan of action in this situation was complete and utter honesty. So that's exactly what I did, I told her the truth.

"I honestly don't know, Bella," I said, brushing a stray hair blown across her face by the night breeze behind her ear before meeting her eyes again. "That wasn't my intention for asking you to come for a walk with me; I just wanted some time alone with you. I've thought about it quite a bit lately. I can't help it but I hadn't planned on asking you to marry me tonight."

I dropped my forehead against hers and closed my eyes, trying to get the words to come out right, to explain what I had been thinking for the last few days.

Hell, I had been thinking about it since the moment I met her if I was honest with myself.

"Bella," I murmured, opening my eyes and sliding a hand around her neck, my thumb grazing the soft curve of her jaw. "I love you more than life itself and I can't think of anything I want, or have _ever_ wanted, more than to make you my wife. I swear to you that I had no intentions of doing this tonight, but that doesn't mean it's not something that I want so very badly. I know it's maybe not something you're ready to discuss just yet, and after yest-"

"Edward," she said, placing a finger over my lips, effectively stopping my rambling explanation. I pursed my lips to kiss her fingertip and she smiled. "I love you, so… so much... but I'm not going to lie, you shocked the hell out of me just now."

I nodded as she dropped her hand to my chest just over my heart, still with a soft smile on her face.

"I'm also not going to lie to you and say that I haven't had the same thoughts about things being more… permanent between us."

My eyes widened and my heart slammed against my ribs, making my head swim slightly as what she said sank into my brain.

"But…I think that this is something we need to talk about," she said before pressing a gentle kiss to my lips. "I… there's more than just you and I involved in a decision like this and I think that… maybe… maybe let's just leave it on the table and discuss it a little more when we get back home. Okay?"

"Okay," I whispered.

Bella smiled as she looked up into my eyes. I could see everything she felt for me burning in those chocolate depths and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was the absolutely luckiest man on the face of the Earth.

I pulled her face toward mine and finally brought my lips to hers once again in a slow, tender kiss. I tried to put everything I was feeling at that moment, all the love and all the promise I could muster, into that one kiss.

"I love you."

~O~

When we returned to our family neither of us mentioned anything about what had transpired with my little impromptu proposal. Though I caught a strange look on my mother's face, she didn't say anything.

As I stood off to the side of the back lawn of my parents' home talking with one of my father's oldest friends I found myself taking in the site of the party my mother and sister had put together to celebrate the upcoming addition to the family. There was nothing like a party thrown by those two and again they had outdone themselves.

I had watched both my mother and Alice talking and laughing with guests all day long. It had not escaped my notice how they took Bella under their wing and introduced her to everyone in attendance.

It was a beautiful sight to see how easily Bella had slipped right into the folds of my family.

Watching Bella laughing at something the governor's wife was saying, I replayed the night before in my mind once again as I pretended to pay attention to what the man to my left droned on about.

I couldn't help the slight feeling of disappointment at not being able to actually call her my fiancée, even knowing that, for now, tabling the idea of marriage was the best solution.

I tried to take some comfort in the fact she had not said no and slapped me for being such an idiot to propose without any conscious thought as to what I was actually doing at that moment. Bella being Bella had, on the contrary, made it quite clear that we were indeed on the same page about our future; we were just putting further decisions and discussions on hold for the time being.

Honestly, I wasn't sure how long I could wait to continue that discussion and that's what I was thinking about as I felt a small hand slide into mine and looked down to find Olivia looking up at me with a smile on her face.

"Hey, princess," I said, returning her smile though I noticed it seemed a little off. "You having fun?"

"Yeah, I guess," she shrugged and then cocked her head in the same adorable way I had seen Bella do on so many occasions when she wanted to ask me something but wasn't sure how to do it.

"What's up?" I asked, excusing myself from the conversation with Carlisle's friend. "You look like you have something on your mind."

"Who's that woman over there?" she asked, turning to point at the one person I had hoped would get sick or fall and break a leg or something and not show, but unfortunately the Gods were not smiling on me that day.

Irina stood talking with a group of women I knew to be the wives of a couple of Carlisle's partners.

"Um…that's uh," I stammered for a moment, trying to figure out just how to tell Olivia who Irina was to my family. "You remember Marcus, right?"

She nodded, looking at Irina and then back up at me once again.

"Well, she's with him… she's his girlfriend," I shrugged. "She wasn't with him when I introduced you guys a little earlier."

"Oh, okay," she said, but I could tell there was something still bothering her.

"Hey," I said, squatting down where I was on eye level and placed a hand on her cheek. "What's the matter?"

Olivia furrowed her brow and scrunched up her nose in yet another very Bella like expression. I bit the inside of my cheek and looked down quickly, trying really hard not to laugh.

I turned back to look at Olivia when I felt in a bit more control of the laughter.

"She…" her voice trailed off and she dropped her eyes to her shoes as she picked at an imaginary piece of lint at the hem of her top.

I reached out and curled a finger under her chin, lifting her face back up to meet my eyes.

"She what, sweetheart?" I asked, feeling slightly nauseated at the thought of Irina coming into contact with Olivia alone.

"I…. it's weird, she keeps looking at me funny… like she's mad at me or something and I don't know… I just didn't know who she was," she shrugged, looking at her shoes and trailing the toe of one in a circle.

I felt an anger engulf me that I didn't know could even exist as Olivia met my eyes with a completely confused and injured expression on her face.

She truly couldn't understand why someone she didn't even know could look at her in such a way. I stood quickly, picking her up and hugging her tightly to me.

"She's not mad at you, okay?" I said as I held her with one arm, placing a hand to the back of her head and she wrapped her arms around my neck, burying her face in the crook of my shoulder.

"Listen, I'm going to take you over to your mom, 'k?" Olivia nodded but didn't lift her head and my chest tightened even further with my need to protect her from feeling like she had done anything wrong. "I'll take care of it, don't you worry, okay? You haven't done anything wrong, baby."

"Okay," Olivia murmured and I felt her arms tighten.

I made my way quickly across the lawn toward where Bella now stood talking with Alice and a girl I'm pretty sure was Alice's college roommate. I really couldn't be bothered with remembering at that moment as I met Bella's worried gaze and she began moving toward me.

"What's wrong?" she asked, placing a hand on Olivia's back and looking up to meet my eyes as we reached her.

"She's fine," I said, giving her a look that I hoped conveyed the fact that I didn't want to get into it at the moment, but Olivia was truly okay.

I desperately did not want to make a scene and ruin Alice's day. Up to that point the party had gone off without a hitch, even with the tension of Irina's presence. On the whole, she had succeeded in keeping herself away from my family without there being any obvious avoidance. Considering the number of guests in attendance, it didn't take a lot of effort to stay away from one another.

I sat Olivia on her feet once again and crouched down, looking into her eyes and placing my hands on her upper arms.

"You remember what I said, right?" I quirked an eyebrow at her and smiled.

She returned my smile with a shy one of her own and nodded her head before leaning into hug me once again.

My heart felt as if it would burst from my chest with how much this child had come to mean to me. I truly couldn't imagine loving her any more if she was my own flesh and blood. And just as with her mother, I would do everything in my power to make sure she was safe and happy.

"All right," I said, releasing Olivia and kissing the top of her head as I stood. "You stay with your mom and I'll be back in a little bit, okay?"

Olivia nodded and smiled as she took Bella's hand. I turned from Olivia's eyes then to see Bella staring at me with a confused expression.

I leaned over to kiss her cheek and whispered, "I'll explain later," before turning to find my way back to where I last saw Irina.

Before I could locate Irina, I was met by my father who laid a hand on my shoulder, stopping me in my tracks.

"Edward, son," he said, his hand tightening. "It's taken care of. Irina and Marcus are gone."

I looked at him for a moment, not quite comprehending what he was saying, my brow furrowing in confusion.

"What?"

"They're gone, son," he repeated slowly. "So, I think what you need to do right now is go inside and take a couple of minutes to calm down. The expression on your face is rather deranged and you're going to frighten someone," he chuckled slightly, but I could tell he was only half joking and trying to reduce some of the tension in my body at that moment.

I stared at him for what seemed like an hour but was probably no more than thirty seconds before nodding and spinning to make my way inside the house.

"….she came to me as soon as she overheard Irina asking Evelyn who Olivia was." My mother's voice wafted to me as I reached the door to the kitchen and I froze, knowing I shouldn't be eavesdropping but couldn't stop myself listening to my mother explain the circumstances behind Marcus and Irina's hasty departure.

"Oh, Mom, you should have seen the look on his face when he brought Olivia over to Bella," Alice said.

"I can only imagine," Esme chuckled. "Well, regardless, they're gone. Your husband made sure of that – discreetly, mind you – but the end result was the same and I really don't think we'll be worrying with Irina coming into any real contact with the family again."

I heard my mother and sister laugh and it sounded as though they were moving away.

As I stepped into the room, I heard the door close and could see them just on the other side of the glass making their way back to the party as it appeared several guests were beginning to say their goodbyes as the party wound down.

I shook my head and laughed, running a hand through my hair and shaking my head.

I would definitely be speaking to my brother-in-law in the near future to find out how that scenario went down. But for the moment, I grabbed a cold bottle of water from the fridge and chugged it before taking a deep breath and making my way back outside to find my girls.

* * *

**So there it is... a little impromptu proposal and the end of Irina's shadow in their family. Wondering what Jasper had to say that had Marcus getting Irina out of dodge? So is Edward...*insert evil laugh here* **

**Thank you to those who are reading and reviewing, or just quietly out there, I thank you all for taking this ride with me. **

**I want to send a shout out to Babbette12, ladysharkey1, Cullen312, and jadsmama your reviews and support always bring a huge smile to my face. Love you all!  
**

**The outtake I promised you a couple chapters back of Olivia and Edward singing together before the trip to Seattle is complete. It's out in cyberspace as we speak on it's happy little way to Jessica1971 for beta and will post next weekend. I'm working on chapter 26 so hopefully we can get back on a regular posting through the final chapters, which are about 4 more my friends. **

**Until next time...**

**xoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1**

**please visit www(.)cff(.)org for more information on Cystic Fibrosis, it's treatments and testimonials for those living with the disease.  
**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Evening dear ones! Sorry for the delay, nothing more this time than the fact that the author (that would be me) is complete fail and had to revamp a few things that just weren't working...**

**As always my thanks to my super-beta, Master Yoda herself, Jessica1971. She's the bestest, seriously! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own it, the great SM does. **

* * *

Chapter 26

Terms of endearment...

BPOV

"Olivia," I called as I made my way toward the kitchen. "We gotta move, girl. You're going to be late for class!"

Though we had been back from Seattle for a week, it felt as if the trip was a year ago.

Edward's schedule had been completely ridiculous, pulling double shifts and extra hours in the ER for the last several days; today would be no different. Olivia was going to stay the night with Mike's parents so Rosalie and I made plans for a girl's night in to catch up.

As much as Edward's schedule sucked, I had to admit my schedule hadn't been a whole lot better. Olivia started a two week dance day-camp the morning after our return from Seattle. Although she loved it, I could see the intensity was taxing her and leaving me feeling torn as to how to handle the situation.

Add to that stress the fact that Mr. Volturi had taken a downward turn a couple of days earlier. I made another emergency visit just the day before after Alec called in a panic. I would be seeing him again later in the day for a check, not that there was a lot I could do until the end, but I could be available to Alec and Jane. They were having a hard time letting him go, even with the inevitability they had lived with knowing the end was close.

To say that Edward and I had not discussed his little impromptu proposal would be grossly understating the sequence of events since our return to Atlanta. We had hardly spoken to one another outside of several quick phone calls and text messages throughout the last few days. There was simply _no_ time for the much needed conversation and I knew in my heart that was not a good thing. As much as I tried, I couldn't stop myself from second guessing Edward and the whole situation. I hated that I couldn't find the trust I should have felt in his intentions.

I released a heavy sigh, packing a couple of water bottles in Olivia's dance bag as I looked at my watch for the hundredth time, trying my best not to become completely frustrated with my child.

"Olivia," I called again, working to not let the annoyance seep into my voice as I zipped her bag up. "We have got to go. What the heck are you doing?"

I started back down the hall and was met half way to Olivia's room by a very disgruntled looking ballerina, tugging at her leotard.

"What's wrong?" I asked, biting the inside of my cheek and trying not to laugh at the expression on her face.

"Nothin'," she grumbled and stomped passed me toward the kitchen.

The fact that Olivia had been grumpy for the last couple of days was really starting to make me worry she wasn't feeling all that well.

I cringed internally at the thought I would have to pull her from camp. I knew if I did I would come across as the bad guy, again, and that by doing so would just remind her she wasn't like other kids. She would be incredibly upset with me, but I couldn't risk her getting sick.

Though Olivia didn't look like a typical child with Cystic Fibrosis, she wasn't like other kids either and I detested having to point that out. It didn't help that she was reaching the age when girls are just… difficult. At not quite ten, I could already see the signs of pre-teen angst; I was not looking forward to how the next few years were going to play out.

I shook my head and followed Olivia back into the kitchen as she picked up her bag, throwing it over her shoulder and stomping out the door. Taking a deep calming breath and releasing it slowly, I grabbed my own bag and keys before making my way out to the garage.

~O~

"So grandma is going to be picking you up and they wanted you to stay overnight, if you're still up to it," I said, turning to meet Olivia's eyes as we pulled into the drop off line at the dance studio. I couldn't put my finger on exactly what was going on with her, but the silent car ride over had done nothing to alleviate my concerns.

She really looked annoyed, and though I was concerned about her health, there just seemed to be something more to it than that.

"Olivia?" I put a hand on her arm as she turned to stare out the side window. "What is up with you? You've been really grumpy for the last couple of days and I can't figure out if you're not feeling well or what."

I reached up, brushing a wisp of hair that had fallen from her chignon behind her ear as she turned slightly in my direction.

"You have to talk to me, honey. I can't help fix whatever it is if you don't tell me what's going on."

She dropped her head and pulled at the hem of her ballet skirt, taking a deep breath. As she blew it out slowly, she looked up to meet my gaze and I was surprised to see her eyes fill with tears.

"Oh, baby, what's the matter," I asked, pulling her into me and wrapping my arm around her tightly as I kissed the top of her head, not caring that we were holding up the line.

She sniffled a few times and released a shuddering breath before pulling back and wiping at her cheeks angrily but wouldn't meet my eyes.

"I don't…..it's nothing, just….."

"What, baby?" I brushed a hand over her hair once again, hoping she would look at me and becoming frustrated as the car behind beeped their horn.

I pulled forward slowly.

"Is Edward mad at me or like, did you guys have a fight or something?" Olivia trailed off, finally looking up at me and my heart broke at the look in her eyes. "I… I mean, I know he's been working a lot… but I've hardly seen him and…oh, forget it, it doesn't really matter."

Olivia blew out a heavy breath and turned back toward the side window.

I sat in stunned silence for a few moments, trying to regain my composure. I was completely caught off guard by Olivia's question and her whole demeanor at that moment.

Even though we had not mentioned the proposal to anyone, it was pretty stupid on my part to think Olivia wouldn't have picked up on the changes in our relationship. Of course she would be upset Edward had not been around very much since we returned from our trip; the two of them had really grown close over the last several weeks.

Was it not one of the things I stressed to Edward that night on the lake about how important it was to remember our actions and decisions affected more than just the two of us?

Obviously, I had failed- miserably- in following through on making sure she was not adversely affected by my decisions.

I had allowed the excuse of our busy schedules to push the talk we all needed to have onto the back burner. Knowing there were things that needed to be said, I still waited, hesitated, not really sure where to begin the conversation with Edward, much less with Olivia.

I closed my eyes and released the breath I was holding, trying to figure out the right way to respond. As I opened my eyes and took in my daughter's expression, I felt the guilt of my inaction weigh heavily on my heart.

"No, baby," I whispered, thumbing away an errant tear as it slipped from the corner of her eye. "I'm so sorry, sweetie. We didn't have a fight and Edward is not mad at you. We've _both _just been really busy, okay?"

Olivia stared at me for a long time before nodding. I gave her a reassuring smile, turning my attention back to the moving line of cars in front of us momentarily.

"But," I continued, pulling forward, "there are some things that Edward and I need to talk about and we want to include you on those things, too, okay?"

"Yeah," Olivia nodded but turned to look out the window. I could see in her expression she wasn't really satisfied with that answer, but for right now I just didn't have anything more to give.

"I love you, squirt," I said as we finally reached the drop-off point and Olivia began to open the door. Olivia turned to look at me over her shoulder; a smile finally curled the corner of her mouth as she looked at me through her thick lashes.

My breath caught and I had to swallow the lump that constricted my throat as the expression on her face reminded me so much of Mike.

"I love you, too, mom."

I smiled at my beautiful child and blinked away the stinging in my eyes as she hopped out of the car and made her way inside the dance studio.

I picked up my cell phone to call Edward.

~O~

While I gathered up the take out, silver, and glasses we needed for our veg-out session, Rosalie spread a sheet over the family room floor and popped in the first of our movie-thon.

There was just nothing better than being curled up in front of the TV watching every Patrick Swayze movie ever made and drinking copious amounts of alcohol, all while eating amazing Italian food from our favorite restaurant, dressed in our PJ's. Rosalie and I had not gotten a chance to catch up since my return from Seattle. With our boys both working and Olivia staying at her grandparents overnight, we were taking advantage of the time alone.

It had been a long time since Rose and I had done the girl's night thing. I missed it - _a lot_.

"So, you really haven't told me anything about your trip? How'd Papa-bear react to Edward?" Rose asked once we were tucked into our mutual plates of heavenly pasta_. _ She brought the glass to her lips and smirked at me over the rim as she took a long sip of wine.

I snickered at Rosalie's reference to my dad. She had called him Papa-bear since we were kids and he ate it up.

"Actually," I laughed, stabbing a large chunk of chicken and fettuccini pasta, "they got along pretty well. You know Charlie, as long as Olivia and I are happy, he's cool with whatever I decide. And get this…" I shook my head, laughing at the memory of Carlisle and Charlie together. "Carlisle, Edward's dad, and Charlie are like BFF's now."

"Seriously?" Rosalie snorted around a mouthful of ravioli and I nodded.

"The trip…" I continued, shrugging, knowing I wanted to get Rosalie's advice but also pretty sure I knew how she would react. "It was good. Enlightening. Confusing, but good."

I brought my own glass to my lips, covering the grimace I felt crinkle my face.

"Which means what exactly?" Rose quirked an eyebrow, staring at me intently as she waited for my answer.

I set the glass down and dropped my eyes to my plate, pushing the Fettuccini around and contemplating how to go about explaining everything that our trip had revealed about Edward and our relationship.

"Well… for one I found out Edward's ex is not just an ex_-girlfriend_… she's an ex-_fiancée_," I said, staring at my plate and cringing when I heard Rosalie's gasp.

"What? Are you kidding me?" she asked, the shrill tone to her voice leaving little to the imagination as to how she felt. "You guys have been together what, like, nearly three months? And in all that time he couldn't find it in him to mention this?"

"I know," I nodded finally, raising my head to look at her. She was pissed, which I expected. What I didn't expect were the next words out of her mouth and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I bet Em knew this," she said through gritted teeth. "I'm going to hurt him if he knew this and didn't say anything."

"No, Rosalie," I said, shaking my head. "This is between Edward and me… and well that's not… the whole story…"

I trailed off, really not sure how to proceed. She was really ticked and I needed her to listen, not go off on a tangent.

"What do you mean?"

I cleared my throat, took another sip of wine, and a really deep breath before I proceeded to recount all the things that happened on our trip - Beginning with Edward's freak out at the airport, then the discovery that his parents were not just rich but _uber_-rich, to the fact Edward had proposed to me the night after his revelations about his past engagement to Irina.

Rosalie sat stone cold silent throughout the entire recitation of everything that occurred all the way down to my retelling of the events at the party and Jasper's handling of the Irina factor.

I smiled slightly, remembering the smug look on Jasper's face when asked how he accomplished getting Irina the hell out of dodge before Edward located and ripped into her.

'_I have skills, my friend,'_ was his only reply. I hoped to eventually get the full scale details of what he said and did.

"Okay," Rosalie said, shaking her head. "Back the train up, did you say that Edward proposed to you?"

I grimaced, flinching at the tone of her voice and nodding with a whispered 'yes' while reaching to refill both our glasses.

"And your response to that was what, again?"

"I asked him 'why'," I murmured, feeling the constriction in my chest as I remembered the look on his face when that one word left my lips.

He honestly looked as though he had been physically struck and I knew instantly he misunderstood me, just as I didn't understand his proposal at that moment. If I was being honest, I was still having a hard time with his explanation. Though I felt what he said was true, it didn't help to alleviate the confusion it caused.

"And…." Rosalie pushed, "what did he say to this? Because I could swear I heard you tell me he didn't know _why_ he asked you to marry him? But," she said holding up a hand shaking her head, "I'm sure I misunderstood because surely to God the knot head did not tell you he didn't know why he would have proposed. So, just to help me understand here, repeat that for me once again. Please."

I stared at her for a long moment before speaking.

"You heard right, Rose," I said, laughing humorlessly.

After everything that had occurred in the short time before that night on his family's little island, it was hard enough to wrap my head around his proposing without the whole _'I don't know why I proposed, Bella.'_

The whole thing felt more like a reaction to the insecurity and anxiety he felt over the Irina thing, not a true testament to how he felt. Though we had discussed his keeping something like that from me and the fact I was willing to forgive that faux pas, for him to propose to me the very next night and _then_ not know _why_ he did it was like pouring salt into an open wound. Regardless of his explanations or how much I knew he loved me, that hurt.

Even with knowing Edward could be a bit impulsive at times, that was just asking more than I could give. I couldn't tell him yes, not until I knew for sure he was truly ready for that type of commitment and that he knew without a shadow of a doubt the reasons he was asking were because it was what he wanted, not in reaction to a stressful situation.

"Has he lost his damn mind?" Rosalie's expression was murderous and for a moment I actually feared for Edward's life when she saw him next.

"Rose, please," I sighed, shaking my head and twirling my glass between my forefinger and thumb. "I really need you to help me figure this out… I'm just not sure what to think and I... don't know. I've kind of pulled back from him since we got home; I just needed some space to think. I know I've hurt him by doing that and now Olivia's upset, too. She asked me if Edward was mad at her. I messed up. I should have known that she wouldn't take well to him not being around…."

I trailed off as my throat constricted and my eyes burned with tears as the strain of emotions finally spilled over.

"Oh, Bella," Rosalie said, scooting closer and wrapping me in her arms. "Hey, listen, don't do that, honey," she held me, running a soothing hand over my hair for a long moment before pulling back and looking at me as I sniffled and wiped at my eyes.

"Don't beat yourself up over this. You can't be supermom all the time, Bella." Rosalie stroked a hand over my hair as I rested my head on her shoulder. "Of course you needed some time to think… You really need to knock some sense into that man of yours. Of all the idiotic… Sweet baby Jesus, was the man not thinking at all?" Rosalie scoffed.

"No, I don't think he was," I laughed despite myself. "As intelligent as that man is, there are times I just don't understand him at all. It's like… it's like these things just come out of his mouth without any filter whatsoever."

Rosalie snorted and shook her head as she finally released me from her embrace.

"Bella, you already know what you want," she said, smiling at me. "You're just looking for yours truly to tell you it's okay to take the chance, and, well, I just can't do that. You're going to have to decide that for yourself, hon. But I can tell you one thing… it's written all over your face what you want, there's really not any question. Just so you know."

"But… what about you, Rose," I said, looking into her eyes. "What will you do if Edward and I take a step like that?"

"Well," she smirked, holding my glass out to me. "There's something I wanted to talk to you about…."

~O~

"Hey," I breathed as I opened the door to see Edward standing just on the other side.

"Hey, sweetheart," he said, closing the distance between us and wrapping me in a hard embrace.

I buried my face in his chest and wound my arms around his middle, reveling in the sensation of being held by him once again. I felt my chest burn with the intensity of how much I had missed him over the last few days.

After my talk with Rosalie the night before, I knew - as if I didn't before - there was nowhere I wanted to be more than right where I stood at that very moment. No other place on Earth felt as safe, as right, as being held in the strong arms of this man.

I felt his warm breath filter through my hair as he pressed his lips to the side of my head, whispering his love.

"I missed you," I sighed, my voice muffled by the soft fabric of his t-shirt. "I really, really missed you."

Edward chuckled as he kissed my shoulder and then leaned back to look into my face, curling his large hands around my neck. His thumbs slowly ran over the sides of my throat, calming me as he stared intently into my eyes.

"I really, really missed you, too, baby," he whispered before bending to bring his lips to mine.

I was completely breathless when he finally pulled back, pressing his forehead to mine, a gentle smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

"Alright, break it up, you two," Rosalie laughed. I looked over my shoulder and smirked, seeing her making her way into the family room with her overnight bag slung on her shoulder and a good sized box in her hands.

"You on your way to Em's?" I asked, though I already knew the answer, pulling away from Edward's embrace and taking his hand to lead him into the other room.

Rosalie had revealed the night before that while we were in Seattle; Emmett had asked her to move in with him. She hadn't wanted to make a decision that affected both of us without talking with me first, so she waited to give him a final answer until we talked. Obviously she wasn't wasting any time taking her things to his house.

"Yep," she said over her shoulder as she placed a few small trinkets inside the box. "Just thought I would take a few smaller things over this morning. You," she said, nailing Edward with a hard look. "You are not on my list of people in my good graces right now. The only thing saving you at the moment is the fact that I have too much to do and not enough time to kick your butt properly for being an idiot."

Edward ran a hand through his hair and looked at me with an apprehensive expression, chuckling nervously.

"I'll talk to you guys later," Rosalie said as she closed the box and made to pick it up.

"You want some help with that, Rose?" Edward asked, releasing my hand and taking a step toward her.

"Nope, got it, thanks anyway," she said, smiling despite the fact she wanted to be mad at him.

I knew the feeling; it was hard to stay angry when the sweetness ran off him in waves.

I pulled Edward to the sofa as the door closed behind Rosalie. Flopping down and getting comfortable, I leaned against the arm, folding one leg under me as the other hung off the edge. Edward laughed as he relaxed on the opposite side, stretching his long legs out in front of him, throwing an arm over the back of the sofa and turning his body to face me slightly.

"So… Em and Rose are moving in together, huh?" he said, looking up to meet my gaze as a shy smile spread across his face.

"Yeah, guess he asked her while we were gone," I said, looking down to my lap and picking at a thread on the hem of my yoga pants.

"That's what Em said… I'm happy for them," he murmured.

"Yeah, me, too…" I trailed off as I looked back up to find his eyes scanning over my face, searching. I took a deep breath and released it slowly, unsure where to begin the conversation we needed to have so badly.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room. I felt so awkward sitting there staring at him, there were so many things I wanted to say, but where did I even begin? How did I explain that I wanted everything with him but I was scared of it all at the same time?

"Edward-"

"Bella-"

We laughed with a nervous edge as we both tried to speak at the same time.

"Bella, just… um… let me say something first, please," Edward said, surprising me that he didn't allow me to go first.

"Uh… okay," I nodded, feeling a knot of anxiety tightening my stomach.

Edward cleared his throat, shifting on the cushion, leaning closer, and taking my hand in one of his as he began to speak. His eyes were locked on our hands as he absently played with my fingers.

"I… when we were in Seattle and I… I proposed… I know that was really bad timing on my part… Um, with everything…" he trailed off, his voice so soft I had to strain to hear all his words. "And I'm sorry."

I felt the breath catch in my throat and Edward's hand tightened around mine as his head snapped up to look at me. I could feel my eyes widen as it dawned on me that my worst fears were about to come true. He was going to tell me he was just reacting to the situation, that he didn't want to marry me after all and that it had been a mistake. I wasn't ready for us to take that big a step, but I couldn't deny the fact my heart cracked wide open at the realization he was going to take back the proposal.

I wanted to stop him, to tell him that though I wasn't ready just yet, it didn't mean I didn't want to marry him at some point, but I couldn't get any words out of my mouth. I sat there staring at him, slack jawed and unable to stop the train wreck from happening.

"I'm sorry that I didn't respect our relationship… that I disrespected you by asking you to marry me at that moment in time, that by saying those words to you after… that by doing that I made you doubt my intentions were anything but honorable," he said, his voice as pained as the expression on his face. Edward lifted one hand and cupped my cheek. His thumb ran lightly over my bottom lip as I tried to regulate my breathing. My eyes closed of their own accord. "But… but Bella, I will never be sorry for asking you to be my wife."

I gasped as my eyes flashed open to look into the dark jade of Edward's gaze.

"I love you, Bella, and nothing will change that - _ever_," he said. The conviction in his voice, in his touch, left no room for doubt and my heart soared with the love I felt for him.

"I know that… that maybe right now you're, that we're, not ready for that step, but you need to know that I will ask again… sometime in the near future I will ask again," he murmured as he brought his face close to mine, pressing a kiss to my cheek. "And when I do, you'll say yes because there won't be anything to stop you," he whispered as he drug his soft lips over my skin. "Nothing to make you doubt how very much I love you… nothing to keep you from becoming my wife. You'll know just exactly how precious you are to me," his lips grazed over my jaw, nipping and placing open mouthed kisses along the bone until he reached the tender area just under my ear. "You'll know that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you."

"Oh… Edward," I sighed as my hands slid over his chest and shoulders until they were threading their way into his hair, holding him to me. "I already know… I do, I really do. I love you... so much. I hope you know that, too."

Edward's arms encircled my waist and he pulled me to him, crushing my body to his as he buried his face in my neck, whispering words of love to me as we held one another.

A short while later, Edward shifted me in his arms, running the backs of the fingers of one hand from my temple to my chin. Bringing his lips to mine, he kissed me gently.

"I have something else I wanted to talk to you about," he said, pressing his forehead against mine. He kept his eyes closed, wrapping a hand around my neck as the other ran up and down my spine. I played absently with the hair at the nape of his neck and smiled as he released a low groan when my nails scratched across his scalp.

"Um… how would you feel about moving in together?"

"Oh, God," I laughed embarrassingly loudly as his words sank in, knowing I wanted to ask him the exact same thing.

"I'm sorry," I giggled seeing the expression of confusion on his face, "I… I just… it's just that I was going to ask you the same thing."

Edward looked at me for a few moments and then began laughing himself, pulling me into his lap and pressing kisses along my neck and shoulder. "God, woman, you really had me worried there for a minute."

* * *

**So...still a conversation to come. NYN is winding its way to the end and I have to tell you I am really, really going to miss these characters. Thank you to all of you who have loved this story from the beginning. Hi to all you new readers out there, thank you for jumping in and reading along...**

**Until next time...**

**xoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1**

**please visit www(.)cff(.)org for further information on Cystic Fibrosis and its treatment. **


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Hi *waves* So another installment, getting us closer to the end...*sniffles* Jadsmama and ladysharkey1 are trying to make me swear to never stop writing these characters...I love you girls for your love and loyalty to me and this story. Thank you! Unfortunately, the story has only two more chapters and then two epilogues. And of course Cullen312, I know you love me when you throw down the JR Ward book to read the update for NYN. *mwah* Love you bb!  
**

**As always all my thanks for her superbeta skills and just generally being my best buddy, Jessica1971. Thank you my dear, you're the best. **

**Disclaimer: Not like you don't know it but I gotta say it, I don't on it, the incredible SM owns Twilight. **

**Without further ado...  
**

* * *

Chapter 27

Conversations for the future...

EPOV

"God, woman, you really had me worried there for a minute," I groaned, wrapping Bella in a tight embrace and burying my face in her neck. Her long chestnut hair surrounded me and I took a deep breath, reveling in the scent that invaded my senses. My heart skipped a beat as Bella giggled and tightened her arms around my shoulders kissing my neck, her lips soft and warm against my skin.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you worry," she pulled back to look at me and I didn't miss the apprehensive look in her eye. "But… um, we're going to have to talk with Olivia. She was really upset yesterday."

Life had thrown Bella so many curve balls that when I tossed an unexpected proposal at her, she went into a tailspin. I felt my stomach tighten with regret at having done that to her. It was no secret Bella needed to be in control, or at least needed the _illusion_ of control. She felt safe when she knew what was happening and where things were going. I knew it, had known it the moment I met her; trouble is, knowing and acting in regard to that knowledge were two very different things. My heart completely over-rode my brain's control of my mouth in that instance and so her reaction wasn't a surprise. I even understood it - to a degree. I had screwed up royally and though it hurt to let it happen, I didn't do a whole hell of a lot to stop it, so I was as much to blame as Bella for where we found ourselves before her call the previous day.

I looked into Bella's eyes and let the memory of that phone call wash over me. It took quite a while for Bella to give me the full explanation; Olivia's questions had knocked her flat out and that coupled with the guilt she was feeling over the distance between the two of us recently was the perfect recipe for her being pretty much a mess.

"Yeah," I sighed and tucked a lock of Bella's hair behind her ear. "So… should we maybe make a decision as to when we want to do this… ya know, the moving in together thing? I mean, I know we need to talk to Olivia, but… well…" I shifted on the cushion and my hands tightened around her hips. "I, uh….I um, thought maybe," I lost my train of thought as Bella moved against my body and the friction completely scrambled my brain for a moment. Clearing my throat, I tried again. "Uh… maybe it would be a good idea if… uh, when we talk to her about this, we could tell her that as of… I don't know, next week? I'll be around a lot more?"

I was unsure if she was trying to drive me insane with all the moving around on my lap or if it was unintentional, but the way she was straddling me placed her body against me in a way that, regardless of whether she knew it or not, was making having a serious conversation with the woman extremely difficult.

As I looked up to meet her gaze, I knew instantly she was well aware of _exactly_ what she was doing as there was a definite smirk firmly engraved on her lips.

"Yeah, I think that's a great idea," she murmured, leaning down to press her lips to mine as her hands slid over my chest and shoulders, finding their way into the hair at the nape of my neck. "The sooner the better," Bella sighed against my mouth.

"As in, how quickly can you get out of your lease?" she asked as she pulled back just enough to speak with our lips still touching. I groaned at the sensation of her lips sliding against mine, my fingers tightening on her hips, biting into her flesh through the thin cotton pants she wore.

"I own the apartment," I said, my voice coming out low and rough as I stared into her eyes, watching the deep chocolate become molten from the heat of her gaze. "No big deal… I'll just make a call, maybe sublet."

Bella hummed in satisfaction as I closed the minute distance between our mouths and swept my tongue across her bottom lip. She opened to me and I wasted no time in taking advantage of the opportunity to deepen the kiss.

My hands moved over the curve of her hips to her lower back, pulling her tighter into my body before sliding up her waist to her shoulders, pressing her chest into mine as I leaned back further into the sofa. My fingers wound their way into the long locks of her hair falling down her back as I pulled her tighter to me, reveling in the feel of her body pressed against my own.

I was completely breathless as I pulled back just enough to ask, "What time do we have to pick up Olivia?"

"Um… in a half hour," Bella sighed, her hands ghosting down to the hem of my t-shirt. I hissed as she found her way underneath the fabric and flattened her palms over my abdomen, sliding them across to my sides before quickly scraping her nails over the flesh on her way back to the button of my jeans. "And I think that we most definitely need to..." she trailed off as her body moved away from mine, sliding down my thighs slightly to create a little more room for her to work, "celebrate our change in relationship status… don't you?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow and smirking playfully as she began to undo the buttons of my fly, never taking her eyes away from mine.

I groaned and my eyes closed as she worked the last button loose. My eyes flashed open as I felt her slide off my lap to find her between my knees, kneeling before me; my breath caught and the muscles in my abdomen constricted as she began placing open mouthed kisses to the area along the waistband of my boxer briefs, then lower to my cotton covered erection. Her warm breath filtered through the fabric, causing my body to react instantly, becoming harder. My eyes rolled back and my hips shifted into her touch.

A deep moan rumbled in my chest as her fingertips curled inside the band of my underwear, lowering the fabric and freeing me from the constraint.

"Oh _God_… Bella," I groaned as she lowered her head and took me fully in her mouth. My hands shot to her hair, winding into the long tresses and gently cupping her head as she began to move over me.

A low sexy mewling noise escaped her and did absolutely nothing to slow the reactions she was pulling from my body at that moment.

_Damn… _I thought as she moved faster, twirling her tongue around the tip just before she took me back in until I could feel the back of her throat. The tightness built in the pit of my stomach and I knew I was not going to be able to hold out much longer as the orgasm felt like a runaway train barreling down a broken track.

Then in the next instant, a voice came from the kitchen that stopped everything in its tracks.

"No, Em, I just thought we could pick up a couple more things since your- Oh. My. God!" Rosalie shrieked and froze where she stood as Bella jumped into my lap, covering me, and stared over the back of the sofa, wide eyed and panting. I could hear Emmett entering from the garage, his booming voice filling the space.

"Holy shit," he gaped as he obviously came up behind Rosalie in the doorway between the family room and the kitchen. "Did we just…. oh, god, that is just… damn, man… I'm… oh, god, that's just…" Emmett trailed off as he was overcome with laughter.

I closed my eyes and tried not to think about the situation we found ourselves in at the moment. It was a perfect example of why I never had a roommate.

"Oh, Bella," Rosalie said, "I'm so sorry….I- I didn't even think about-"

"Rosalie," Bella cut her off. "It's okay. Just," Bella looked down at me and I could see her fighting a laugh of her own. Despite myself, I felt the corner of my mouth twitch as the humor in the situation began to take over the mortification. "Could you guys give us a minute, please?"

"Oh... um, yeah, sure," Rose stammered. "We'll just… yeah, no problem." I could hear shuffling of feet and Emmett's laughing protest as I assumed Rosalie pushed him back out of the room.

"Oh my God, that was so embarrassing," Bella laughed, her head falling to the center of my chest.

I wrapped my arms around her back and kissed the top of her head. "That was… yeah," I laughed, unable to put into words how embarrassing the situation had been.

"Raincheck?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow hopefully.

"Absolutely," she laughed as she sat back and smiled at me. "I love you."

"Mmm…. I love you, too," I said, framing her face between my palms and kissing her once more.

~O~

"Hey, darlin'." Carole wrapped Bella up into a warm embrace and rocked her side to side as she smiled, eyes closed. "Your girl's out back with her grandpa."

"Edward," she said, releasing her hold as Bella glanced over her shoulder, smiling as she made her way through the house to find Olivia. "Come on in. How are you, hon?"

"I'm well, Carole, thank you," I greeted, returning her smile as I stepped through the doorway into her home. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I'm fine, sugar," she waved me off, closing the door. "Come on, we'll see what they're up to. They've been in the pool all morning. She's gonna be worn out but I bet Bella's having a dickens of a time gettin' her out of the pool," Carole laughed as she reached for the French doors leading onto the veranda.

The smile on my face widened as Olivia's laughter met my ears, followed by a large splash as the doors fully opened.

"And Mike's gonna fall out from exhaustion. He just doesn't listen to me when I try to remind him he's not as young as he used to be," she said, a tone of mock reproach in her voice which was completely ruined by the smile on her face. "They have so much fun together."

I saw the wistful expression on Carole's face as she watched her husband laughing and swimming after Olivia, and my heart went out to her. The high pitch of Olivia's squeal as Mike, Sr., caught up to her pierced the air and Carole turned to smile up at me.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?" I asked, confused as I looked into her eyes shining with unshed tears.

"For being kind to them… for making both of them so happy," she said, taking a deep breath. "They needed someone who could see past all the things that they both bring with them… someone who could love them for the beautiful people they are. My son… he loved them so very much." Her voice caught and her smile trembled as she cupped my cheek in her palm. "I'm glad they found you, Edward."

I was speechless as I stared down at her. After all the events of the last couple of weeks and knowing I needed _them_ as much or more than they needed me, I was overcome with the emotions brought on by Carole's words. Blinking away the stinging in my eyes, I coughed a few times to loosen the tightness in my chest and nodded, unable to speak.

"Go on," Carole said, motioning toward where Bella was sitting on her heels at the poolside, looking down at Olivia and laughing. "They're waiting."

"Hey," Olivia said, smiling as I kneeled down beside Bella, nodding in greeting to Mike, Sr. who was wrapping a towel around his shoulders as he made his way in the direction of the house.

"Hey, princess," I said, mussing her wet hair. "Having fun?"

"Yep!"

"Come on, silly girl," Bella said, standing up and grabbing a towel from the end of the lounge chair. "Edward has to be at work in a few hours and we're going for an early lunch."

Olivia turned her eyes to mine as the realization that I wouldn't be around for the entire day seemed to hit her.

"You've got to work?" she asked, nailing me with a hard stare that was eerily familiar, as I had received it from Bella on more than one occasion.

"Olivia," Bella said, warning in her tone.

"No, it's okay, Bella," I said, watching Olivia climb out of the pool and taking a step back as she frowned up at me as Bella wrapped her in the thick towel. "I know, I'm sorry but-" I looked to Bella to make sure she was okay with me saying something about what we were going to discuss with Olivia now, and when she nodded I continued. "Your mom and I want to talk to you about some things while we have lunch, okay?"

Olivia looked between me and Bella for a long moment and then nodded, seemingly okay with the turn of events.

"Oooo, can we go to that cheeseburger place?" Olivia asked excitedly as Bella directed her toward the house. "Mom, you know that one I went to with Em and Rose the other day?"

"We can go wherever you want," I said, following behind her and Bella. Bella smiled at me over her shoulder. I felt a profound relief that, at least for the moment, Olivia seemed to not be angry with me any longer and could only hope her reaction to the decisions Bella and I made about moving in together would be as positive.

~O~

The three of us were just settling into a booth in a back corner of the little cheeseburger restaurant Olivia had visited during the previous week with Emmett and Rosalie.

Bella lifted her glass to her lips, trying her best to throw off an air of nonchalance, but I could feel the tension in her body as we tried to figure out the best way to get the conversation started.

"Are you guys getting married?"

"What?" Bella choked as my eyes widened at the abruptness of Olivia's question.

"Well, Edward said you wanted to talk to me about something," Olivia shrugged dropping her gaze to her plate and picking up another fry. "I just figured you must be getting married and that's what you wanted to tell me. I'm okay with that, so really there isn't any reason for all the covert stuff, ya know?"

"What covert stuff?" Bella asked, shaking her head, her brow crinkling as she looked up to me.

"All the glances between you two in the car," Olivia said, not looking up from her plate. "And since we came in here, you keep looking at Edward, Mom, then he just stares at you. It's like you've got some kind of secret messages passing back and forth. It's kind of creepy, to be honest."

Bella turned to look at me in wide-eyed astonishment; I was completely stunned and at a loss for any words to address Olivia's uncanny observation skills. Bella tilted her head in Olivia's direction and gave me a pointed look as if to say, _Could you say something, dummy?_

I turned back to catch Olivia looking back and forth between Bella and I with a _'See, that's what I'm talking about'_ expression on her face. I cleared my throat and garnered my courage as I tried to put the right words together to explain. How was I going to tell this little girl that her mother and I were going to be living in sin, not getting married?

I cringed internally at the thought of trying to make her understand that it was the right decision for us, at least for right now. Though it wasn't my ideal solution, I much preferred the one with my putting a ring on Bella's finger and saying those words that would bind us together for eternity, but that would have to wait a little longer.

I opened my mouth and said the only words that came to me at that moment; figuring honesty was the only way to handle the situation.

"Olivia… I love your mother very much, and well," I cleared my throat uncomfortably, "We're not getting married, though we have talked about things changing for us. I'm going to be moving in with you and your mom. I mean, as long as you don't have any objections to that."

"So… you're moving in with us?" Olivia asked, placing a fry in her mouth and chewing slowly as she looked directly at me.

I nodded and swallowed thickly, unsure how to read the expression on her face.

"Yes, honey, that's right. Edward and I really think this is the right step for us," Bella placed a hand on my forearm and smiled at me encouragingly before turning back to Olivia, "at least for right now."

"But you're not getting married?" she asked pointedly.

"No," Bella said, and I felt confused because I could have sworn I heard a hint of sadness in her voice. I turned to look at her profile but couldn't read anything from her but a determination to ensure Olivia was okay with our decision.

"So… um, what does that make me to you?" Olivia's voice was quiet and she had dropped her eyes back to the table, fingering the food in her plate once again.

"I'm sorry?" I asked, turning to meet Bella's confused gaze and feeling my brow furrow further, not understanding what she meant by that question.

"What does that make _me _to _you_?" Olivia repeated slowly, frustrated, finally looking up and meeting my eyes. "You and Mom are going to be living together, so obviously things are kind of serious between you two. But… I mean, if you aren't married, you're not going to be my step-dad, right? So what does all this mean for me?"

"Oh, sweetie," Bella cried, reaching across the table, but Olivia shook her head, pulling her hand away and keeping her eyes locked with mine.

"What does that mean for me, Edward?"

I sat frozen in my seat for what seemed like forever, but in actuality I was moving out of the seat and lifting Olivia into my arms in a split second.

"It means," I said as I wrapped my arms around her tiny body, "that I-" my voice cracked and I had to stop, coughing slightly to dislodge the lump in my throat as Olivia's little arms tightened around my neck, her face buried into my shoulder. "I will be whatever you want me to be. There is absolutely nothing I wouldn't do or be for you… I love you so very much, Olivia."

"I love you, too…."

* * *

**So there you have the first 'Family' talk for these three, and the ILY's between Edward and Olivia. **

**For those who don't have me on author alert or the NYN outtakes on story alert you wouldn't have gotten the outtake of Edward and Olivia time before the trip to Seattle I posted last week. **

**Thank you to all you readers out there who are reading, reviewing or just quietly enjoying the story. I thank you all.**

**Until next time...**

**bellasunderstudy1**

**please go to www(.)cff(.)org for more information on Cystic Fibrosis and its treatment.  
**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Hello my dear hearts! Yep, I know you most likely thought I had completely dropped off the face of the Earth and forgot all about you lovelies...not even close. I would like to say (as I've said before) that RL got in the way but that's not really even a good excuse this time. Plain and simple it was complete author fail. Edward, Bella and I had a disagreement about where this and the following chapter were going...needless to say Edward is one persuasive SOB, so yeah, this chapter and the next went somewhere I had not originally thought they would go but never the less I trust in the powers that be- which are not my own and are totally Edward's so blame him, it's all his fault. **

**All my thanks for making my words so much more pretty goes to my Master Yoda, Jessica1971. Love you my dear!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own, that wonderfulness belongs to SM, I'm just happy she allows us to play with her characters.  
**

**So, without further ado...**

* * *

Chapter 28 Letting go and giving in...

_Three months later…._

EPOV

The last several months had been simultaneously the best and most stressful of my life. Having previously thought the days on end without sleep during my internship at Northwestern were bad, those were sadly only scratching the surface in comparison to trying to pull the insane schedule I was working at the hospital while not only moving in with Bella and placing my apartment on the market, but also helping Rosalie move out of Bella's house and into Emmett's.

After our talk with Olivia - one which changed my life in more ways than one - Bella and I felt that it would be better to just list my apartment with an agent rather than sublet. I made a phone call to the real estate agent who put me in the apartment when I moved to Atlanta. Considering the economy, I wasn't expecting her to move the property quickly, but she surprised me and called a few days later with a prospective buyer. Unfortunately the first contract fell through, but I had an appointment later in the day to sign the final papers on the sale with the second couple who placed an offer on the property.

Everything I owned was finally either moved to Bella's house or put in storage, at least what wasn't staying with the apartment. I didn't need much of the furniture any longer and I was happy to just let it all go. The trade seemed fair enough; I sold most of my possessions and I got Bella twenty-four/seven.

My birthday came and went with little fanfare, much to Bella's chagrin. Though we celebrated, she was upset that we didn't do more than have a quiet dinner at home, just the three of us. I tried to make her understand that I had already gotten all that I ever wanted in her and Olivia. The simple fact they were in my life was more a gift than anything she could buy and there was nothing I wanted more.

"Dr. Cullen," I heard Emmett's voice call out from behind me and turned to see him stepping out of a patient room.

I took a sip of the piping hot coffee in my hand, nodding in greeting as he joined me in the hallway.

"Hey, man," he said, a thick chart in his hand. "I wanted to talk to you about a case if you've got a minute."

"Sure," I replied, taking another sip of coffee. "As long as you don't mind talking and walking. I'm on the way to surgery now."

"Not a problem." His smile turned mischievous as we reached the bank of elevators. "I know you're good at multi-tasking. Got a good eye full of y-"

"Emmett, shut the hell up," I ground out, cutting him off mid-sentence. He had given me grief over walking in on Bella and me as often as he possibly could even months later. Thankfully this time there wasn't anyone else around. "Move on, man, that's becoming really tired."

"Psh, of course it's not," he scoffed, laughing as the elevator arrived and we stepped inside. "I could get _so _many more miles out of that little incident. But I'll let it go – for now. Oh, before I forget, we're still doing dinner later, right? For Olivia and Bella's birthday?"

Bella had informed me earlier in the week that she and Rose made plans for the five of us to have dinner together to celebrate Olivia's birthday, which was over the weekend coming up, as well as her own which was only a little over a week away. She didn't elaborate on the details, giving me nothing other than the time we were to meet up. I knew Rosalie and Em were going out of town and wouldn't be around for Olivia's actual party, so I assumed that was the reason behind the dinner tonight - as if the girls really needed a reason - and I didn't ask any further questions. It was usually better, I had found, when Rosalie and Bella planned something to just go with the flow.

Over the time since 'the great move-in of two thousand-ten', as it was being referred to, the five of us got together as often as possible to have dinner and just hang out. I think, though she was obviously happy living with Emmett, Rosalie really missed being with Bella and Olivia every day. And even if she would never say it out loud for fear I would think she was unhappy with our living arrangement, I knew Bella missed her sister.

"Yeah," I said, running a hand through my hair and thinking about all that I had to do as soon as my shift ended. "I'm going to sign the final contract on the apartment sale as soon as I'm done here, and then I'm picking up Olivia at Carole's. We've got a little errand to run before Bella gets home. I think she said we were meeting at the restaurant around seven."

I felt the twitch at the corner of my mouth as I thought about the purpose of the 'little errand" and just how hard Olivia had tried to get me to tell her what exactly I needed her help with.

"Sounds good," he said, beginning to leaf through the patient file in his hand, his mood turning serious as he shook his head. "So this kid… he has a sarcoma of the left femur. The tumor is mid-bone. From the look of the MRI results and after talking with oncology, I don't think there's any way around amputation, but I wanted to get your opinion. I was hoping maybe you would have some other ideas. He's only six."

~O~

"What are we doing here, Edward?" Olivia asked, turning to me with wide eyes as I found an empty parking spot close to the door of the jewelry store recommended by a colleague.

I actually made the first visit to speak with the jeweler about designing something unique for Bella's engagement ring and wedding band the previous week, but wanted Olivia in on the final step. I also wanted to get her opinion of what the jeweler and I worked out for the design. I knew she would be honest - brutally so - if she didn't approve or think her mother would like what he had done. The entire set was designed to appear as if it were an antique. The engagement ring had a large round center setting with delicate filigree along either side of the band which was filled with smaller diamonds. The wedding band had the same filigree and diamonds, designed to fit around the engagement setting. Once on Bella's hand it would look as though it was all one piece. It was simple. Elegant. It was Bella. I just hoped Olivia felt the same way.

Though I didn't know when exactly I would ask Bella to be my wife again, I knew that the next time I did, it would be done with a whole lot more thought and I would have a ring to place on her finger when she said yes.

"Well…." I began, cutting the engine and running a hand through my hair as a knot of anxiety twisted in my stomach. "Remember I told you I wanted your help with something?"

"Um….yeah," she said, looking back and forth between me and the building before us.

I didn't miss the slight sound of excitement in her voice as she turned those big brown eyes back on me, a small smile beginning to pull at the corner of her mouth. I smiled, hoping that I wasn't reading more into her expression just because I wanted to see something more than was truly there.

"I…." I cleared my throat nervously. "I wanted your opinion on a ring I've picked out for your mom."

"A ring?" she asked, cocking her head to the side and staring at me as she processed what I was saying. "You mean like a _ring_, ring?"

"Yeah," I laughed as she began to bounce in her seat, reminding me at that moment of my sister much more than I was comfortable with on so many levels. "Like an engagement ring, ring. Do you think you could help me with that?"

"Oh my gosh!" Olivia squealed, clapping her hands together and launching herself across the console to wrap her tiny little arms around my neck.

"All right, sweet girl," I laughed and hugged her to me for a brief moment. "Let's go inside and see what you think."

~O~

BPOV

"Edward picked Olivia up from Carole's earlier," I said, holding the phone between my ear and shoulder as I signaled to make the turn into my neighborhood. "I know he said they had a couple of errands to run, but they should be home by now. I'm running a little later than I expected, sorry."

"No big deal," Rosalie said. "Em's not home yet, either. He called a few minutes ago and said he was just leaving the hospital, so we're going to be a little late anyway. You know, Bella, Edward has really impressed me with how well he seems to have adjusted to having a kid… I mean, he's really stepped into the role. He just kind of jumped right in, no hesitation, didn't he?"

"Yeah, Rose," I sighed and smiled at the images Rosalie's words brought to mind. Edward truly had just stepped right in to the role of taking care of Olivia, without any reservations or hesitancy. Though it had only been a few months since we moved in together and things had been stressful trying to maneuver everything with the move and listing Edward's apartment, the rhythm of our lives had finally meshed so well that I had a difficult time remembering what it was like before Edward was a part of our everyday routine. Though I knew it wasn't the right time then, there had been moments over the last couple of weeks that I couldn't fathom why I had not just said yes when Edward asked me to be his wife. "He pretty much thinks the sun rises and sets in Olivia. Honestly, the feeling's mutual for Olivia. She's nuts over him, too."

Rosalie laughed, agreeing wholeheartedly.

"Okay, well, listen I'm just pulling up to the house," I said as I hit the opener and noticed Edward's car in the garage. "Oh, good, Edward and Olivia are already home. Hey, remind me to show you the new pictures Alice sent me earlier of the baby. Good lord, Rose, that child is gorgeous. Not that I would expect any different coming from parents who look like those two, but still. Dear lord, that Jasper…"

Rosalie laughed, teasing me yet again over the shameless ogling I did the morning I first met Jasper. Thankfully the man was one of the most honest and humble people I had ever had the pleasure of meeting and took it all in stride, laughing it off even when Olivia followed right in my footsteps and did the exact same thing.

We said our goodbyes and hung up just as I stepped inside the house.

"Edward, Olivia," I called, dropping my bag and keys on the small table just inside the door and making my way into the kitchen. "I'm home. Where are you guys?"

"Mom!" Olivia came running into the room, sliding across the tile in her socks. I grabbed her around the waist before she fell flat on her face. "Thanks," she said, straightening and smiling up at me. "How was your day?"

"Uh… fine," I said, quirking an eyebrow at her question and the way her eyes darted away quickly to the family room behind me and back to mine. My senses were piqued that she was up to something and I looked her in the eye as I asked, "What are you up to, little one?"

"Nothing, just asking my mother about her day," she said, meeting my eyes and looking far too innocent.

"Uh huh," I nodded. "Where's Edward? I know you two are up to some-"

My words were cut off as I felt strong arms wrap around my waist, pulling me back into the hard lines of his warm body as he spoke softly into my ear, his breath whispering over my skin. "Hello, my love."

Edward tightened his arms around me, a very deep satisfied chuckle rumbled in his chest as he felt the shiver run through my body, knowing what he was doing to me in that moment.

"Hello, yourself," I said, turning in his arms and running my hands over his chest until my fingers wound their way into the hair at the nape of his neck.

"I missed you today," he said, smiling as his eyes locked on my lips. Although I was completely mesmerized by him, I didn't miss the imperceptible tilt of his head, knowing he was signaling to Olivia for some reason.

"What are you two up to, hmm?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he murmured as he brought his lips to mine, his arms tightened and I sighed, melting into the embrace, getting a bit lost in the feeling of being in his arms. For some reason the hours I spent away from him were more difficult now that I knew he would be at home at the end of the day than they ever had been before he moved in. I really had missed him.

"I missed you, too," I whispered against his lips as the kiss began to slow to small grazing pecks.

Edward pressed his forehead to mine, that cocky smirk which I had a definite love-hate relationship with breaking over his face as I slid my hands down to his chest.

We stood like that for an indeterminable amount of time, just staring into one another's eyes. I felt the goofy grin spreading over my face as I looked at him. It had been so long since I had felt as happy and content as I did at that moment. There were times I felt as though I needed to pinch myself just so I could make sure I wasn't dreaming. It all felt so completely surreal to be where I found myself at that point in my life.

I heard Olivia giggle just before I felt the impact of her launching herself into my side. I looked down to see my daughter smiling as she wrapped her arms around both Edward's and my waist.

Edward placed an arm around Olivia, pulling her into the circle of his embrace and bending to place a kiss to the top of her head before turning his eyes back to me, a wide smile on his face.

"Nothing better than this," he said, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"Mmm… I couldn't agree more," I sighed, running a hand over Olivia's soft curls.

Releasing a contented sigh, I smiled into Edward's eyes. "As much as I hate to break this up, we're already late for meeting Rose and Em and I still need a shower." Grudgingly, I pulled out of Edward's embrace and stepped away from my favorite people in the world.

"And you two need to get dressed," I quirked an eyebrow at my grinning daughter and gestured up and down her tiny body, "because you can't go to dinner with a neon green t-shirt and those ratty brown sweats. What in the world were you thinking putting those two things together even around the house?"

"Geez, Mom, we were unpacking some stuff," Olivia laughed, rolling her eyes as she looked down at the horrendous outfit she was sporting at the moment. "I wasn't going to go to dinner like this."

"Good," I said, waving for her to get moving. "I most definitely thought you had better fashion sense than all of that, and heaven help you if Rosalie caught sight of that get up."

"Whatever," Olivia rolled her eyes, laughing as she turned to make her way toward her room. "I'm unique."

"That you are, my dear," I laughed. "That you are."

"So," Edward purred as he closed the distance I had created between us and wrapped his arms around me once again as soon as Olivia was out of the room. "Maybe I'll just join you in the shower…." he trailed off, dragging his lips over my jaw, nipping the skin lightly with his teeth as his fingers found their way under the hem of my top. "You know… to save time... since we're already late and all…"

"Mmm…" I hummed as gooseflesh broke out over my entire body at his touch and his words. "Yeah… see if you… oh, um… if you keep that up… and we… yeah, there's no way we'll be saving time."

"Okay, so maybe," Edward whispered, placing a wet kiss to the tender flesh behind my ear, "I don't care so much about whether we're late or not, and I can be really quick… if I need to be."

Wrapping my arms around his shoulders, my hands found their way into his hair of their own accord, holding him to me as he placed open mouthed kisses down my neck.

"Oh, what the hell, we're already late…"

~O~

An hour and a half later we were pulling into the over filled parking lot of Olivia's favorite restaurant. Thankfully it wasn't the cheeseburger joint she liked so much. Even Edward had fallen in love with the place after that first visit and the two of them ate there as often as possible. I called Rosalie as we were exiting the highway, explaining that we had gotten held up in traffic, which honestly was a reasonable enough lie; though I was pretty sure she wasn't fooled, thankfully she didn't press the issue.

Edward dropped Olivia and me at the door while he found parking. We made our way inside and gave our information to the young blond at the hostess desk who quickly showed us to the table where Rosalie and Emmett waited.

"It's about time," Emmett teased, standing to greet Olivia and me as we arrived at the table. "How's my favorite birthday girl?"

Emmett grabbed Olivia up, twirling her around as she giggled and wrapped her little arms around his wide shoulders.

"I'm good, Emmy," she said, kissing his cheek and smiling widely as she placed her hands on either side of his face.

"Hey," I said as I gave Rosalie a one armed hug and took the seat to her right. "Sorry we're running late. Edward's parking the car."

"No worries, I'm sure traffic was just awful," she said, winking with a knowing smirk as she settled back in her chair.

"Yep, terrible," I said, picking up the menu and perusing the selection to avoid further discussion of the reasons we were really late for dinner as I tried to hide the smile on my face.

Olivia and Emmett continued to laugh it up as they both found their way to their seats just as Edward finally made it to the table.

"Hey, guys," he said as he kissed Rosalie's cheek and shook Emmett's hand before taking the chair to my right. Olivia beamed up at both Edward and Emmett as she realized she was sandwiched between the two.

Our waiter arrived and we placed our order for appetizers as well as drinks and our main entrée.

"Oh my God," I said excitedly, catching a glimpse of the rock on Rosalie's left hand. "Let me see. When did you get it back?"

Emmett had popped the question a couple weeks after Rose moved in with him, but the ring had to be resized so she had not worn it since the night of the proposal.

"Emmett picked it up yesterday," Rosalie said, proudly holding out her hand for my inspection. "I'm so glad it got back in time for our trip."

"Wow, that's really pretty, Rose," Olivia said, leaning over me for a closer look at Rosalie's hand. "You did good, Em," Olivia claimed as she looked up at him with a wide smile, nodding, causing everyone to laugh. I felt my brow furrow as I caught a look passing between Olivia and Edward that I didn't quite understand, but I let it go, for the moment.

The princess cut center stone was huge and the marquise diamonds nestled on either side were nothing to sneeze at either. Emmett truly outdid himself on his choice of engagement setting. It was perfect and so absolutely Rosalie. It truly was a beautiful ring.

"It really is beautiful," I said, sitting back in my chair. "And I guess you would rather meet the future mother-in-law with the ring in place, huh?"

"Absolutely," Rose laughed, holding her hand up and smiling as she admired her ring.

They had already set a date for mid-January. Rosalie had always dreamed of a winter wonderland themed wedding and so everyone would be traveling out to Vail, Colorado where Emmett's parents owned a home.

Rose and Emmett were actually going to meet his folks in New York for the weekend. They had been out of the country for the last four months and were flying back in on Friday, which was why Rose and Em would not be attending Olivia's birthday party.

Conversation flowed around the table as Emmett and Olivia teased one another incessantly, which escalated to throwing tiny pieces of garlic rolls across the table when they thought no one else was looking. I even caught Edward joining the two of them in their not so covert antics. It was like being at the table with three children instead of just one. Thankfully our food arrived quickly and distracted them from their bread tossing activities.

The food was amazing as always, and as soon as our plates were cleared and dessert ordered, Emmett clapped his hands together, rubbing them excitedly as he smiled around the table.

"Alrighty then, time to get to the real reason we're here," he said, looking straight at Olivia. "Right, squirt?"

Olivia's brown eyes looked like huge saucers as she nodded her head emphatically, realizing she was about to get her gift from Rose and Emmett.

"You want to do the honors, Rosie?" Emmett asked, turning to look at Rose with a pleading look. "Or can I?"

"Go ahead," Rose laughed, lightly backhanding Emmett's chest. "You're dying to do it, so you might as well. Remember this, Bella," she said, turning to me with a serious look on her face. "This was all his idea."

I groaned, knowing that if Rosalie was giving me that warning and if Emmett became that excited over it, the gift was probably something much bigger than was appropriate. I knew that both Rosalie and Emmett loved to spoil Olivia, so there would be no arguing about whatever had been done.

"Aw, come on, Rose, it's not like you didn't think it was a good idea, too," Emmett whined as he began taking something out of the inside pocket of his coat. Rose scowled at him but shrugged as he looked back at Olivia, handing her an envelope.

"Thank you," Olivia said as she took it from his hand. I didn't miss the slightly disappointed look that raced across her features as she looked down at what she held in her hands, but she hid it quickly, smiling back up at both Rosalie and Emmett.

"Well, go on," Emmett said, motioning toward the envelope. "Open it."

Olivia turned the envelope over and began carefully breaking the seal. I saw the confusion on her face as she pulled out a piece of parchment paper, her eyes growing bigger as she read what was written.

"Are you kidding me?" she exclaimed as her head snapped up to look at Emmett and then Rose, as both nodded their heads with smiles on their faces. "Seriously, oh my gosh! I can't believe you guys did this!"

Olivia launched herself out of her chair and streaked around the table, wrapping her arms around both Emmett and Rosalie, pulling them into a group hug.

"Thank you! Thank you!"

"What the heck did you two do that got that kind of response?" I asked, laughing at my daughter's antics while looking between my sister and Emmett.

"Oh, wow! Mom, they got me riding lessons," Olivia gushed as she looked at me from Rosalie's lap where she had planted herself, still holding on for dear life. "Can you believe it? I've wanted to do that for _so_ long."

I felt my brow furrow as the words Olivia spoke began to register and I couldn't really decide if I was okay with the gift of not. Though I knew it was something Olivia had wanted for quite some time, I wasn't exactly comfortable with the thought of my daughter being in sole control of a thousand pound beast. She was so tiny!

"I don-," I began and Olivia cut me off before I could voice my concerns.

"Mom, please," she begged. "I want to so much. I love horses and they're safe, really. My friend Abigail has them and you know she's been riding since she was just little. And Samantha is going to this same farm for lessons, and Charlotte, too."

"Bella," Rosalie said, looking at me with a pleading expression. "I got the name from a couple of the doctors at the hospital. Their kids all take lessons at this place. I know you're worried about it, but honestly they're really reputable. We even went and checked it out, not that I know a thing about that stuff, but Emmett does. The trainer was really nice and we met the owner. She's great and said for you to come by and talk to her anytime."

"Yeah, and Edward thought it was a good idea," Emmett piped in with a big smile on his face.

"What?" I asked, turning to look at Edward. "You knew about this?"

"Uh… well," Edward stammered, running a hand through his hair as he scowled at Emmett before turning back to me. "Yeah, but Bella listen-,"

I held up a hand to stop him. I really wasn't interested in his excuses at the moment. We could talk about it when we didn't have an audience. The fact that he gave permission for something such as a gift of that caliber without even mentioning it to me… well, I wasn't exactly sure how to react. On the one hand, I was happy that he felt comfortable enough with his role in Olivia's life to do something such as that, but on the other, I was pissed that he would do it without talking to me about it at all. On top of that Rosalie should have known I was uncomfortable with the thought of Olivia and horses. The child had been talking about riding since she was old enough to speak, I just could never bring myself to let her do it, though it seems I didn't have a lot of choice in the matter at that point which really didn't set well.

"Bella," Emmett said, looking a bit more nervous than he had a few moments earlier as he looked from Edward to me. "Really, I haven't ridden in a long time, but I took lessons when I was a kid. I swear to you this place is the best and they'll take care of her. And we got her all the equipment, it's at our house. I wouldn't have done this if I didn't think she would be safe."

"Please, Mom," Olivia said, her eyes wide with anticipation and hope.

As I looked at the angel's face of my daughter, there was absolutely no way I could refuse her. Even though every protective instinct in my body was screaming out in protest, I nodded my head, giving the okay.

"I can? Really?" Olivia asked, hopping out of Rosalie's lap and slapping her hands on the table as she stared at me, a smile beginning to play at the corner of her mouth.

"Yeah, really," I said, nodding again and laughing as she squealed, jumping up and down between Rosalie and Emmett. Olivia took off running around the table to launch herself into my arms, placing kisses all over my face and repeating thank you over and over again.

"Okay, sweet girl, but listen," I said, pulling her away from me to look into her face so she would know I was serious. "I have to check this place out. I want to meet the trainer and the owner before you start anything, and if I'm not comfortable with them it's a no go, understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," she said, hugging me back to her. "I know you're going to love it, Mom. I can't wait!"

Olivia released me and jumped on a surprised Edward. A smile lit up his face as she whispered something I couldn't hear in his ear and he hugged her tighter to him, kissing her hair.

Even though I wasn't sure how to handle the mixed emotions I felt over Edward's involvement in the surprise from Emmett and Rosalie, in that moment my heart melted as I watched him with my child. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt he loved her and his intentions would always be to make her happy, no matter what, and for that I would be eternally grateful.

While Emmett and Edward settled the bill, Rosalie, Olivia and I made our way outside.

"Bella," Rosalie said, her voice quiet as we reached the parking lot. "Don't be upset with Edward, okay? He just-"

"I know, Rose," I said, watching Olivia standing just out of ear shot and looking over the letter detailing the farm where she would take the lessons. "I just… We're still figuring this all out and I mean… I've got to get over… I have to let him make decisions, too… it's just hard, ya know? He's not her dad and we're not married, but I know that's where we're heading and I want that… I do, and I know he loves her…"

I trailed off as my chest tightened and my voice cracked as I tried to fight back the emotions that were overwhelming me.

"It's okay, Bella," Rosalie said, placing a hand on my upper arm as I looked up at her to see her eyes were shining, but she held a smile on her face. "Bella, no one will ever be Olivia's father but Mike. No one. But Edward loves that little girl more than his own life. You have to let him be her dad. He wants to be, Bella. He doesn't want to replace Mike, but he wants to be her dad. And to be quite honest, Olivia wants him to be, too."

"I know," I whispered, a smile spreading over my face as I turned to see Edward exiting the restaurant and Olivia running to him, jumping into his arms. "She really does…"

* * *

**Alright, so there it is, only one more chapter to go before we find our end of the road for these lovely characters...there will be two epilogues after the final chapter. Thank you all so much for the love and support you have shown me and this story. I can't ever express enough what it has meant to me. I love you all! **

**The final chapter is pretty much complete, a few bugs to work out and it will be off to Master Yoda herself, Jessica1971 and will hopefully be ready to post next week. **

**Thank you all for being patient and understanding with the horrible delay with this chapters posting. **

**Until next time...**

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1**

**please visit www(.)cff(.)org for more information on the treatment and questions regarding Cystic Fibrosis.  
**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: So my lovelies here it is, the final chapter of NYN. I can't tell you all enough how much it has meant to my heart the support and love this story has received. You are all such wonderful, wonderful caring people. Thank you from the very bottom of my heart!**

**To Jessica1971, who without her my words would not be as pretty and for so much more that I cannot even begin to express. Mostly thank you for being my friend. ILY bb!**

**To CellaCullen for giving me the courage to put so much of my personal story out for such a public display. Thank you my dear for your support and encouragement to write this story.**

*** Please check out the A/N at the bottom. =)  
**

**Disclaimer: SM owns (we all know this already) all things Twilight, even Edward. **

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Chapter 29

Forever in your eyes….

EPOV

I stepped out of the restaurant and was immediately engulfed by a giggling, squealing blur of arms and legs.

"Edward!" Olivia squealed, latching onto my neck with her tiny arms. For someone so small, the child was exceptionally strong.

"Hey, princess," I laughed, wrapping my arms around her tiny frame and hugging her to me. "You had a pretty big night, huh?"

"Oh my gosh," she laughed. "I never thought mom would agree to let me take the lessons! Thank you, Emmett," Olivia said, pulling back to smile at Emmett who had joined us just outside the restaurant.

I could see Bella and Rosalie looking at us from several feet away. I wasn't sure, but from the expression on Bella's face, I knew whatever they had been discussing was heavy. A trickle of apprehension ran down my spine, pooling in the pit of my stomach as I thought about the myriad of emotions that ran across Bella's face when Emmett threw me under the bus with the gift approval thing. I knew Bella was upset with me about giving the okay without discussing it with her first and I could see why she would be, but, honestly, I didn't really give permission in so many words. I just told Emmett I thought it was a great gift simply because I knew how happy it would make Olivia. She had been talking about wanting to take lessons for a while and I knew several of her friends had recently begun going to that particular farm.

I placed Olivia back on her feet and the three of us walked across the lot to where Bella and Rosalie stood.

I bent to press a kiss to Bella's cheek once we reached them, wrapping my arm over her shoulders. The tightness in my body relaxed ever so slightly as her arm slipped around my waist and she leaned into me.

We said our goodbyes to Emmett and Rosalie and made our way to our car. I chuckled as Olivia skipped ahead as I kept Bella tucked into my side. The lights of my car flashed as I hit the keyless entry and Olivia slipped inside quickly, leaving Bella and me alone outside for a moment.

"Bella," I murmured, turning to wrap both my arms around Bella's waist, pulling her to me. I pressed my lips to the top of her head, taking a deep breath of her delectable scent. "I-"

"Not right now, Edward, please," she whispered, shaking her head. Her voice was muffled as she buried her face into my chest, her hands curled in the fabric of my shirt. "I love you, so much… and I don't want you to ever think I don't know how much you love me or Olivia, okay?" she lifted her head to look up at me, her bottom lip trembled as she took another breath and I could see her struggling to rein in her emotions. "I… I just need to process. I don't want to hurt you by saying something I don't mean before I can do that. I'm sorry; just give me a little bit to do that, okay?"

I nodded, willing to put off the inevitable discussion for a little longer and pressed a kiss to her forehead before pulling back and opening her door.

The car ride home was pretty much silent as Olivia dozed off before we were even out of the parking lot and Bella was lost in her thoughts. I can't say that it was uncomfortable - the silence between us - but it wasn't exactly the most enjoyable experience, either. I realized Bella needed time to think, but I hated not knowing what she was thinking. There were many times since meeting Bella that I longed to get inside that head of hers and crawl around, to root out all her secrets and figure out what she was thinking, but none more than at that moment. I really wanted to know where her head was on this, to know that she wasn't going to push me away again.

There were a few things I knew without doubt in regards to Bella: one, she was extremely protective of Olivia - with good reason; and two, she had a hard time giving up control. The problem with the present situation I found myself in was that when it came to Olivia and the role I wanted to play in her life, I wasn't budging. I was sure Bella felt I had overstepped the bounds a little, but I had every intention of being that little girl's father; for all intents and purposes, I felt as though she was already mine. Olivia might not be my daughter biologically, but I loved her with all my heart and I couldn't imagine loving her any more if she truly was mine in every way.

And the simple fact boiled down to if Bella and I were going to continue down the road I had laid out - the one I wanted more than anything in this world - then we needed to set this straight from the start. Maybe it was a good thing this had occurred now; it opened the door for a discussion which had been brewing since I proposed to Bella, one that we needed to have, regardless of the outcome.

The more those thoughts ran through my mind, the more resolved I became in how to handle the discussion. I would be lying if I didn't admit that there was a small part of me that was afraid of how Bella would react to what I was going to tell her, but that was a chance I had to take. If we couldn't share the responsibility of caring for Olivia, then we really didn't have a future. That thought alone was enough to cause bile to rise in my throat, but there was no way around what needed to be done. I couldn't follow through with what I desired most for our future if Bella wasn't willing to allow me to be a part of Olivia's life fully.

~O~

"I'm sorry… I love you," Bella whispered as we stepped out of Olivia's room after putting the angel to bed. She wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me to her tightly as she rested her forehead on my chest. I felt my heart stutter as my arms automatically found their way around her back and I buried my face in her hair.

"I love you, too," I said, my voice barely more than a whisper as I tightened my hold. We stood like that, just holding one another for an indeterminable amount of time, neither one of us willing to be the first to speak what needed to be said, but both knowing it needed to be done. Finally, I broke the silence and felt my stomach tighten with anxiety.

"Come on, sweetheart. Let's go to bed."

Bella nodded and I pulled back, placing a hand at the small of her back, leading her toward our room. Bella made her way into the bathroom to change as I stepped into the closet to undress. Grabbing a pair of sleep pants, I slid them on before padding back into the bedroom to slip between the sheets and wait on Bella to come to bed.

I fell back on the pillows, throwing an arm over my eyes as thoughts of what I wanted - what I needed - to say and how to even start talking about those things flashed through my mind. It made my head spin and the nausea became almost unbearable at the thought of all the ways the conversation could go wrong.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't hear Bella come out of the bathroom, jumping slightly as I felt the bed shift and her snuggle into my side.

Bella pressed her lips to my bare chest and I couldn't help but groan at the contact as my body reacted to her touch. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, tucking her tightly into me as my fingers curled into her hair, holding her head in place directly over my heart.

She released a heavy sigh, placing a hand on my chest and lifting her head to look me in the eye. As I stared into that dark chocolate gaze, I knew there was nowhere I wanted to be more than in her arms, but we couldn't go any further if she wasn't willing to let me in; my heart broke in that moment knowing that I wasn't sure where we would be at the end of the conversation. For a brief moment, the panic was almost more than I could bear. I knew she loved me, but I wasn't as sanguine on whether she was ready, especially after her reaction earlier, for us to take the next step.

"Bella… I love you so much," I began, taking a strand of her chestnut hair, reveling in the feeling of the silky texture as I watched it slip between my fingers. "And I love Olivia more than I can even explain. I didn't mean to upset you by telling Em what they were doing was okay… and I realize I should have mentioned it to you before tonight. I'm sorry about that, but, honey, if we're… if I'm going to… well, if we're going to make all of this as permanent as I hope to one day, then… I want to be more than just Olivia's friend, Bella. Honestly, I feel that I _am_ more, but if that's not how you feel about what my place is, or you don't see that as where this is going, with where we _are_, then you need to tell me that now. Because… baby, I can't be in her life and be nothing more than just her friend. I want so much more than that… from both of you. You know that already and I think I've made it pretty clear what my intentions are. I know I didn't go about proposing the best way before, but you know that a future with you, and with Olivia, is what I want…

"Bella, I want you to be my wife, but I also want to be Olivia's father, but… baby, if that's not what you want… well, I'm not going to force you, but I can't…" My voice caught as I laid my heart out for her in a way I had never done before, the fear of what I was telling her and the realization that if she didn't feel the same way I would have to let her go – let them both go –constricted my throat, stealing my voice. I cleared my throat and continued, my voice coming out in a rough whisper. "I can't do this if you're not on the same page with me, if that isn't what you want… I can't… As much as I love you, Bella, I just can't."

My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest as I watched the emotions play across Bella's features, anxiety coiled in the pit of my stomach.

Bella's eyes bounced back and forth between my own. I watched them fill with tears and began to feel the stinging behind my own as realization of what she was about to say began to wash over me. She wasn't ready. She was going to push me away again and there would be no turning back; I just couldn't do it, not this time, not on something so important to me, to us.

Bella reached up, cupping my cheek in her small palm. My eyes closed of their own accord and I felt myself unconsciously leaning into her touch. I relished the sensation, knowing it might be the last time I would be able to feel her soft skin against my own.

"Edward," she breathed, and I felt my heart squeeze at the broken sound of her voice. "Edward, open your eyes. Look at me, baby."

I felt the grimace crease my face but couldn't stop myself from complying with her demand and opened my eyes to stare into those of the only woman I had ever truly loved, waiting for her to end my world. I sucked in a breath at the raw emotion I saw shining in Bella's eyes. Those warm depths had pulled me in from the moment I first saw them, but seeing the love that she felt for me so clearly in them, especially at that moment, was my undoing.

"Edward, I love you so very much," she said, her voice breaking even at a whisper as she looked at me, caressing my cheek with her thumb. The tightness in my chest began to ease as she smiled and brought her lips to mine briefly.

"You are such a good man, Edward, and you've been nothing but kind and loving and patient with me since the moment we met. I'm so, so sorry that I've been horribly unfair to you-"

"Bella, baby…" I said, interrupting the words falling from her lips. "Don't, that's not what I was trying to say. Not in the slightest-"

"Edward," she said, smiling through the tears that had begun to slip from the corner of her eyes. "I know that's not what you were saying, but it's true all the same. You have been so completely understanding with everything that I brought into this relationship and I've kept you at arm's length on so many things, especially those things regarding Olivia, even when I knew you only wanted to be something to her that she needs so very much. I'm so sorry."

Bella's voice broke on a sob and she dropped her head to my chest as I pulled her on top of me, holding her as she let the wall finally break.

"Baby, don't cry… please," I murmured, fighting with all I had to hold back the emotional torrent washing over me as I held her in my arms while she cried. "Shh… it's okay."

"No," she said vehemently, snapping her head off my chest and pulling away from me to sit up, straddling my thighs. I struggled to sit up, following her. "It's not okay! It's not okay that I have done that to you. And I want you to know that there is no one, not one single person on the face of this Earth, Edward, that I want more than you to be a father to my little girl. You are the only person outside of Mike that I would trust to be exactly what that child needs in a father. You've proved time and again since you came into our lives how you want nothing but what is best, not only for Olivia, but for me. And I was a fool, Edward, a damn fool not to tell you yes when you asked me to marry you that night. I should have been screaming it from the rooftops that I wanted nothing more than to marry you. But I didn't do that, did I?"

I ran a hand through my hair and took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly as I watched the tears slide down her beautiful face. I stared at her as she looked at me in a near hysterical state and was completely at a loss on how to respond; though what she was saying was in a way true, I had never felt she was being unfair to me during our relationship. I understood her hesitancy in many aspects of our relationship. The fact that everything happened so quickly between us was a perfect example of one area I understood her resistance, but I couldn't let that continue where Olivia was concerned. Before I could put all my thoughts into words, Bella continued, answering her own question.

"No, I didn't," she said quietly, her voice thick with emotion. "I didn't because I'm an idiot who was too afraid to admit, even to myself, that there is nothing I want more than for you to be in my life - in my daughter's life - for the rest of eternity. And if you'll still have me, that's exactly what I plan on doing as soon as humanly possible."

"What are you saying, Bella?" I asked, unsure if what I was hearing and what she was actually saying were truly one in the same.

"I'm saying that I want to marry you, Edward," she said, looking me directly in the eye and reaching for my hand, bringing it to her lips and kissing my palm. "I'm saying that more than anything I want to be Mrs. Edward Cullen. I'm saying that I want you to be Olivia's father, officially. I want you to adopt her… I want you to adopt Olivia."

"What?" I flinched as the broken sound of my own voice hit my ears and my brow furrowed in confusion. My head was telling me that Bella had just agreed to marry me, that she wanted me to be Olivia's father, _really _be her father, but my heart was too afraid to believe it as I gaped at her, trying to make sense of what she was saying.

"I want to get married, as quickly as we can, then as soon as you can after we're married I want you to become Olivia's father in every way possible. Mike will always be a part of her, you adopting her and becoming her father legally won't change that, Edward. I want this… for her. For you… for _us_, Edward, I want this for us."

Bella reached out, framing my face between her palms as her eyes burned into mine with an intensity I had never seen before. I felt the stinging behind my lids as I stared back at her in disbelief. Never in all the scenarios that had played out in my mind over the course of the evening was that one of the paths I thought the conversation would travel.

"You're sure… _Oh God_, Bella," I said on a breath, pleading as I buried my hands in her hair and placing my forehead against hers. "Please tell me you're sure."

"I'm sure, Edward," she said as she wrapped her small hands around my wrists and smiled. "I've never been surer of anything in my life."

_**The End**_

_**

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**_**A/N: There are so many mixed emotions for me as this story has reached the end of it's road. It has been such a cathartic journey for me, as you know much of my personal story is in this fic. Thank you all once again for loving these characters almost as much as I do. **

**For Ladysharkey, Jadsmama and Cullen312, (and the rest of you wonderful people out there as well) though I can't continue to write these characters forever I do have a couple more outtakes for after the epilogues have posted. One will be from a scene many of you have been interested in knowing what happened. ^_~ (bet ya can't guess what it is. LOL) The other will be a future-take and I think you will be very pleased with that one as well...there may be some others that I come up with but that is what I have planned at this point. **

**I have been asked if I will be writing a sequel to Need You Now, and at this point the answer is no. I have also been asked if I will be writing after NYN and to that the answer is yes. I have been working with Master Yoda on the outline for the next story since before I began writing NYN. Actually since before I completed Make Me Believe. So yes, that story will be coming, I will continue to write stories in the future but I do plan on taking a short hiatus before beginning to post anything other than the outtakes for NYN. **

**The title for the next fic is _Someone Like You_. I hope you all will come back and join me and Master Yoda for that journey. **

**Thank you all again...**

**Until next time...**

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1**

**please visit www(.)cff(.)org to learn more about Cystic Fibrosis treatment and stories of living with the disease.  
**


	30. Chapter 30

**** If you read this earlier today this is a re-post because there were some serious formatting issues with the update. I honestly don't know what the hell happened but regardless here it is again without, hopefully without all that craziness that was present before. I'm using a different computer to post this and I'm not sure if that's the problem or what...I apologize for the mess that was posted earlier today.******

**Hello dear ones! I know this has been a long time coming and for that I apologize, many, many factors played a roll in the delay of posting the first Epilogue. I have some things to say and people to thank but I'll hold that until the end...**

**Love and all my eternal thanks to Jessica1971 for the amazing beta job she does, she makes my words so much prettier. Love ya darling!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I just like playing with these beautiful characters. **

**Without further ado...**

* * *

Epilogue 1 Need You Now…

Our kind of love…..

BPOV

_Olivia had been over the moon when she walked into the kitchen and saw the ring on my hand, squealing and dancing around the kitchen before launching herself into Edward's arms. I'm not sure who was happier at that moment, Edward or Olivia. _

_We had already planned on bringing up the idea of Edward adopting her over her favorite breakfast. After the reaction she had to our engagement, I didn't really think she would be opposed to the idea, but it couldn't hurt to butter her up with Belgian waffles, strawberries, and whipped cream._

"_You can do that?" Olivia asked, her voice soft as she looked back and forth between Edward and I. "I…you want to do that?" She tilted her head to the side and raised a brow as though she was trying to figure out if we were serious or not. _

"_Of course I do, sweet girl," Edward said, his voice was rough with emotion as he watched the struggle to understand what it all meant cross Olivia's features. _

_I felt my heart pounding out a staccato rhythm as the tension in the room ratcheted up about a hundred degrees. I knew that Olivia was completely and irrevocably in love with Edward, but I wasn't sure what was going on inside her little head. My kid was smart; I knew she saw things on levels and in ways that many ten year olds just couldn't fathom, but this was an extremely complicated and emotional issue. _

"_Olivia," Edward started and stopped to clear his throat, running a hand through his hair as he tried to put his words together. I placed my hand on his thigh under the table, gently squeezing the tense muscle, hoping to silently let him know that I was there and we were in this together. He turned his head slightly to give me that crooked grin and I knew then that he was okay, that we were going to be okay regardless of what Olivia decided about the adoption. _

"_Olivia, I would like nothing more than to be your father in every way," he said, looking across the table and meeting Olivia's wide brown eyes. "Your mom and I talked last night and we plan on getting married very soon and, well, I can be your father by adoption but that's entirely your decision to make. If that's not what you want, I'll still be here as your step-dad and that's okay. I don't want you to feel like this is something you have to agree to. Don't think that if you don't want this to happen it will change things between you and me. It won't; you're always going to be my princess, okay?"_

_Olivia nodded her head as she continued to silently stare at Edward, occasionally her eyes slid over to me and then back to Edward. _

"_It won't change that, whether a piece of paper says you're legally my daughter or not. You are the most precious thing in the world to me and you don't have to decide right now. Just think about it. Your mom and I won't pressure you one way or the other, okay?"_

"You okay, sweetheart?" Edward asked, bringing me back to the present moment by placing a hand on my swollen stomach, gently rubbing small circles with his thumb as he turned his attention back to the had just dropped Olivia off with Mike and Carole. They were leaving the following morning to visit Mike's sister in South Carolina for a couple of days. It was going to be the first time in quite a while that Edward and I had anytime all to ourselves. We were finally going to celebrate our anniversary-which had been in actuality several months ago-and were on our way to one of our favorite restaurants.

Seeing Mike and Carole must have triggered the memory of that morning. I felt my heart skip remembering how Olivia asked if it would mean that Carlisle and Esme would then be her grandparents, before finally admitting that her biggest concern was whether Mike and Carole would still be her grandparents if Edward became her dad. We both assured her that they would always be her grandparents.

Edward also made a point of telling her that it didn't mean she had to forget about Mike, either. He tried to explain that he never wanted to replace Mike in her life, but because her first daddy had gone to heaven early, we thought it would be okay for him to be her daddy, too. Olivia seemed comforted by that thought and was fully on board by the following day.

The process of Olivia's adoption had been difficult, but in the end it came down to nothing more than appearing before a family court judge and Edward signing some documents. The memory of his face when, several weeks later, Olivia called him daddy in just a random exchange would forever be embedded in my mind.

Smiling at the sweet man at my side I slid my hand atop his as he continued to stroke my abdomen. A smile broke over his face as he felt the baby push against his palm. "Yeah, baby," I whispered. "I'm fine, just thinking."

"What are you thinking about?" His smile grew and he stifled a chuckle as I grimaced when the baby chose that moment to kick my bladder.

"Besides the fact that your son is using my bladder as a soccer ball at the moment," I quipped, narrowing my eyes at him and moving in my seat to find a more comfortable position. At nearly eight months pregnant, even the idea of getting comfortable was not a possibility. "I swear this kid is going to be the next David Beckham."

"Yeah, I think you might be right there," Edward laughed, taking my hand in his, "but besides that, what were you thinking about? You looked like you were a million miles away."

I smiled as I tightened my fingers with his and remembered all the events of the past year. It had been chaotic and difficult, while also being absolutely the most wonderful of my life. Edward and I had married in late April just over a year previously; though we wanted to marry as soon as possible I didn't want to interfere with Rosalie's wedding plans.

The realizations I made the night of Olivia's birthday dinner were like a sledgehammer to the final bricks in a wall I had built around not only me, but also Olivia. My sweet girl had always been smarter than her mother and it was never more evident than in the months leading up to that night. Olivia had completely allowed Edward into her heart shortly after he came into our lives.I had been a fool for not recognizing it, embracing it and following suit sooner. Thankfully, my Edward was a patient man and even though- by that point- I had pushed him to the edge of an abyss there would have been no returning from, he wanted me, with all my baggage; he wanted the future which I finally accepted as _ours_.

"Just that I'm a very lucky person," I said, looking over to see the smile on his face get impossibly wider.

"I think I might have to argue with you on that one, baby," he laughed, bringing our joined hands to his lips and pressing a kiss to the inside of my wrist. "I mean…Come on, I have the most beautiful wife in the whole world, who just happens to be carrying my son, and has already given me an amazing daughter. How much more could a man ask for? I'm most definitely the lucky one in this situation."

Edward kissed my wrist, letting his lips linger for a long moment. I felt the tears pool in my eyes as I took a deep breath, releasing it slowly and trying not to cry. The last couple of weeks I had become really emotional, much more than I ever remembered being when carrying had been home much less than normal between all the hours at the hospital and dealing with the difficulties he and Emmett were facing with getting their private practice started. Combine thatwith my over active hormones of pregnancy, and I cried at everything and nothing at all. So,of course, when Edward said the ridiculously cheesy but sweet things he was notorious for, the waterworks were inevitable.

"Hey,"Edward said, his voice soft as he smiled, releasing my hand and reaching up to brush away a tear as it slipped from the corner of my eye. "No crying tonight, sweet girl."

I nodded, reaching up to hold his palm to my cheek. I leaned my face into his touch, turning to press a kiss to his palm. I threaded our fingers together and rested our joined hands in my ever shrinking lap. A comfortable silence settled over us as we sped down the highway.

Though it took him a while, Edward finally talked me into buying a new black Lexus SUV. It made him happy to know I had something he felt was safer but also had the power he desired when he would drive. Edward, by all accounts, was the respectable doctor, husband, and father he appeared to be, but deep down I think there was a part of him that longed to be an Indy car driver. I never felt unsafe when he was behind the wheel, but the man drove like a bat out of hell.

Before I knew it, Edward was opening my door as I struggled across the expanse of my middle to release the seatbelt. All the while, my wonderful husband stood there holding out his hand patiently waiting, he thought he was being stealthy, but I saw the smirk. He tried to hide it while handing the keys to the valet and leading me toward the restaurant, but I saw it all the same.

Edward was ecstatically happy with the growing size of my tummy and had a hard time keeping his hands off my baby bump; I, on the other hand, was less than overjoyed at the fact that it had been at least two months since I last saw my feet.

"Ow," I murmured, sucking in a breath as a sharp pain shot through my back and down both legs as Edward gave the hostess our name.

"What?" Edward asked, looking down at me with a furrowed brow. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," I said, smiling at his expression. He immediately got up in arms at the least little twinge I might experience, especially the closer I got to my due date. "I think the baby's sitting on a nerve or something. It was just a little pain in my back, Edward."

His brow dropped even further into a scowl as the hostess asked us to follow her and I patted his chest, smiling up at him. "I'm fine, baby. Nothing but this big boy of yours making his mama a bit uncomfortable."

The hostess led us to a small table in a quiet corner and placed our menus before us, smiling as we took our seats."Your server will be with you shortly."

Our waiter arrived as promised and Edward ordered an appetizer of seared Tuna on artichoke bottoms with tomatoes and black olive tapenade. I had been having the weirdest cravings the past several weeks, artichokes being one of them, so I was excited to dig into the hors d'oeuvres. During my pregnancy with Olivia, the cravings had been slaw dogs with extra mustard and fountain drinks. It was funny how different my two pregnancies had been, though on the whole everything had been normal from the get go, nothing I had experienced while carrying Olivia was the same this go around.

Since I couldn't drink, Edward had sworn off alcohol, so instead of the glass of wine we would normally have had we settled for a glass of iced tea, decaffeinated of course. The waiter returned in no time with our appetizer and left us to our conversation.

Edward filled me in on more of the details about how construction on the new office was proceeding. I hadn't visited the site in a couple of weeks;Edward was afraid it was too dangerous for me to be on a construction site. The contractor Edward and Emmett hired had promised he could have them in before the end of summer, but it wasn't looking so promising now as it was approaching the end of August and there was still a lot that needed to be done. Emmett had already stepped down as chief of orthopedics at the hospital, but Edward still had a couple more months on his contract with Children's. Their plan was to be fully operational by late October, but Edward wasn't so sure that was going to come to fruition. He was trying his best not to show it, but I could tell he was disappointed with the delay. The hors d'oeuvres were amazing and exactly what I had been craving for days. I felt the twinge in my back again and moved to change position, hoping to get the baby to rearrange himself so he wasn't pressing on my lower spine so much. I shifted in my chair as my legs began to feel numb and I felt a weird tightening in both my hips as the waiter returned with our main entrées.

"Bella," Edward said, as he frowned, quickly assessing me with a calculating glance. "What's going on with you? You're fidgeting like you've got ants in your pants. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," I said, trying to smile but worrying it came across more as a grimace when that same tightening in my hips happened again. "Really, Edward, stop worrying."

"Baby, if you're not feeling well then we can just go home," he said, taking my hand in his and rubbing his thumb gently over my knuckles. I felt tears burning in my eyes. I couldn't explain why I felt so emotional suddenly, but the thought of not having our one evening alone, probably one of the last ones we would get to have for quite a while, was absolutely devastating and I couldn't stop the tears from falling.

"I don't want to go home, Edward," I said, my voice cracking. Sitting back in my chair, I pulled my hand from Edward's grasp, picking up my napkin and blotting at my face as I began to blubber like an idiot. "We haven't even eaten our dinner yet and it's not like I've gotten to spend a whole lot of alone time with you recently. I mean…I know that you can't help it and I know you're trying to do something wonderful,but I miss you and…" I hiccupped as I tried to calm down but found that the tears wouldn't slow. "I don't want to go haven't celebrated our anniversary and it was months ago, Edward. I want to have dinner with my husband," I cried, dropping my head to my chest, my shoulders shaking with a sob.

"Ow," I whimpered, rubbing the side of my abdomen as a pain much like the one I had when we first arrived gripped me again.

"Hey," Edward whispered as he rounded the table, pushing my chair away from the table so he could kneel at my feet. I felt his hands sliding over my shoulders to my neck, tilting my face up to his and pressing his lips to my forehead. "Bella…" he murmured against my skin, "please don't cry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm ruining our dinner," I sniffled, closing my eyes and leaning into him, circling his wrists with my hands as he cradled my face between his palms. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me tonight."

"Open your eyes, baby," Edward murmured as I felt him brush his lips over my cheek. "Look at me, Bella," he demanded, and I opened my eyes to see him smiling softly. Meeting his eyes and seeing how much he loved me so plainly only made me cry harder for being so ridiculous. My sweet husband did his best not to laugh outright as he brushed away my tears.

"Sweetheart…hey, stop crying, you are not ruining anything. We are here to celebrate our anniversary and if you want to stay and finish our dinner, then that is exactly what we will do, okay? You're not ruining anything, you understand me? Absolutely nothing could be further from the truth. There's nothing wrong with you, either. You're a few weeks away from bringing our son into this world and if you have a little break down now and then," he paused, smiling at me as he ran his curled fingers over my cheek to wipe the last of my tears away. He spoke in a silvery whisper, "well, I think that's pretty understandable. So no more with that kind of talk, okay?"

I nodded, smiling through the sniffles as he pressed a kiss to each of my cheeks. He found my lips for a gentle kiss as I tried to calm down.

"I think I'm going to go to the restroom and splash some water on my face," I said, sniffling and smiling shakily. Feeling a little more settled with Edward's reassurances and loving touch.

"Okay, sweetheart," he whispered, kissing me once more before standing up and helping me out of my chair. "You okay to go alone? Want me to walk with you? I can wait outside the door and make sure you get back. I can carry you if you want," he teased, quirking an eyebrow playfully.

"No, Dr. Cullen," I laughed, holding onto his arm to steady myself a moment longer. "I think I can waddle to the restroom and back by myself, but thanks for the offer."

I looked up at him and pursed my lips, silently requesting one more kiss to which he happily complied, before making my way toward the restroom. Of course it would be on the other side of the restaurant.

"They couldn't have put restrooms on both sides of the building?" I grumbled as I pushed open the heavy wooden door. "Oh, no, that would have made things way too easy. No, no, don't have mercy on the pregnant women. It's okay, we need the exercise."

I rolled my eyes at my own hormonal rant as I heard laughter and rounded the corner to see an older woman laughing and shaking her head.

"Oh I agree fully, honey," she said, entering one of the stalls. "You know all these places have to be designed by men because the bathroom is always in the most inconvenient of corners."

"No kidding," I laughed despite myself as I entered an empty stall, locking myself inside because the urge had hit me half way across the restaurant and I couldn't wait one more second.

As I finished and stood to straighten my dress the most excruciating pain shot across my lower back, causing my head to spin and my vision to blur around the edges.

I whimpered, feeling my eyes sting with tears. I placed a hand over my abdomen as another wave of pain racked my body. Opening the stall door and stepping out, I noticed the room was completely empty. I caught myself against the wall as yet another wave of pain hit like a Mack truck; breathing hard I swallowed the nausea. Taking the few steps to the lavatory the nausea came on full force and I knew I was going to throw up. Turning quickly I stumbled toward the toilet and felt as though someone stabbed me in the center of my abdomen.

"Edward," I screamed as another wave of pain doubled me over and I saw the bright red pooling between my feet just as the world around me went black.

~O~

EPOV

Watching Bella walk away from the table, I shook my head and took my seat once again and bit back the chuckle threatening to erupt from my chest. I knew if Bella heard me laughing she'd turn around and kick my ass.

I wasn't home much at all the last few weeks, it couldn't be helped, but I hated leaving Bella alone so much, especially at this stage of her pregnancy. The delays in the construction of our facility were very close to driving me straight into the mental ward; I was positive that one of two things would be the end result - I would either be completely bald, or I would be admitted for a complete mental breakdown. The mere fact that our anniversary had been nearly four months ago but we were just now celebrating was testimony to how insane things had been for us recently. The stress of it all had been rough on Bella and, not for the first time, I felt the pang of guilt twist in my chest.

The baby had grown exponentially recently and Bella was uncomfortable with her added girth, but I found myself completely fascinated with the way her body was changing to accommodate the growing child inside. My child… our child.

I felt the smile pull at the corner of my mouth and chuckled as the memory of the night Bella told me the news that we were having a baby ran through my mind.

_We had only been married about nine months and Olivia had been in the hospital yet again. Needless to say, our lives had been somewhat out of control with Olivia getting sick and Emmett and I trying to start a private practice. Unfortunately, life kind of got in our way and things had become a little tense for between Bella and me. We planned to have a date night when Olivia was finally healthy enough to stay overnight with someone; Rosalie and Emmett jumped at the chance._

_I couldn't wait to have the feel of my wife next to me. It had been way too long, so when Bella walked in from dropping Olivia off with her aunt and uncle, I wasted no time in making the most of the opportunity which I was presented. I felt bad later once it registered she had been trying to talk to me about something. In my defense,my brain wasn't exactly in functioning order as it was suffering from a distinct lack of blood flow, and when she gave in I didn't give it a second thought, figuring whatever she wanted to talk about hadn't been that important after all. _

_Loving Bella had always made me lose all conscious thought, so it wasn't until she was lying in my arms that I realized her body wasn't relaxed as it usually was after we made love. The hand she had been stroking my bare chest with was curled into a tight fist. I kissed the top of her head and tilted her face up to mine. I was shocked by the expression on her face. She looked…terrified?_

"_Bella," I said, a fear I had never felt before tightened my chest. "Baby, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?"_

_She just stared at me for a long moment and I felt my brow furrow in confusion as my heart began to beat finally shook her head, whispering 'no', and rolled to lay flat on her back, her eyes closed tightly._

"_Then what's wrong, sweetheart?" I asked, rolling onto my side, facing her. I softly brushed the hair away from her face and kissed her cheek, trying to decipher what the hell was going on with her. _

"_Oh, Edward," she said, her voice breaking as she slowly opened her eyes and I watched them fill with tears. _

"_What? Bella, you're starting to freak me out a little here," I said, my eyes bounced back and forth between hers as she continued to stare at me with an unfathomable expression. _

"_I…I missed my appointment…I mean, I had an appointment today but I missed the other one…," her voice trailed off and she closed her eyes again, shaking her head. _

"_What appointment?" I asked, feeling claustrophobic suddenly. I sat up, scooting up the bed to lean against the headboard, running a hand through my hair, partly in fear and partly in frustration. "What are you talking about, Bella?You saw the doctor? Today?"_

_Was she sick? I knew we hadn't been on the same page for the last few weeks but I didn't think we were that far off course with one another. Had I really been so distracted that I completely missed the fact that my wife was ill?_

"_Yes, I…I forgot to… I haven't taken my Depo injection for like…oh, God, Edward, I'm sorry," she said as a tear slid down her cheek. She sat up on her knees to look at me, her expression becoming one of pleading as she continued. "I know we talked about maybe later…once things were more settled. I agreed that it wasn't a good time for us to even think about having a baby…Oh, this is just…so not a good time, I know. I mean, with everything lately…you're finishing your contract and with the practice…and Olivia…I just…I'm sorry."_

_I blinked a few times as I stared back at her and replayed the words she had spoken in my mind, trying to make some sense of what she had said. _

"_You haven't taken your birth control in…what? Like months?" I asked, afraid to even hope. A tiny sob escaped Bella's lips as she dropped her head to her chest. _

"_Yes, no…maybe. With everything lately, I just…..it wasn't on purpose, Edward. I mean,I know that you wanted to wait just a little longer," she tried to explain,but I cut her off. _

"_Bella," I said, her name coming out a bit harsher than I meant, but I could not allow her to apologize for giving me an opportunity to fulfill my deepest desire, regardless of the timing or what we had discussed. I couldn't stop the smile that began to spread across my face and I reached up to pull her to me, leaning in to kiss her softly before continuing. "I know what we talked about, and maybe it's not exactly what we had planned, but isn't that what married couples do? They have babies. Would it really be that horrible if we got pregnant now?"_

_Bella pulled back from me slightly and stared wide eyed at me for a long moment. It was then I saw the light begin to shine in her eyes, a smile beginning to pull at her gorgeous lips. _

"_I hope you really mean that," she said, her voice soft and husky as she leaned back in to murmur against my lips,"because we're having a baby."_

I chuckled at the memory. Granted, we had discussed it and decided to wait just a little longer before adding to our family, but I couldn't ever regret the way things happened. The following day, I made a trip to the lab and had DNA testing for the Cystic Fibrosis gene. Thankfully, I didn't carry any of the CF mutations; Bella and I were both relieved that this baby would not suffer what Olivia lived with daily.

I was beginning to wonder if I should go check on Bella. I knew she was downplaying whatever had been going on with her all evening; a cold finger of apprehension ran down my spine. Setting down my glass, I stood to make my way across the restaurant, smiling slightly despite the anxiety,knowing what Bella's expression would be when she exited to find me waiting outside the restroom door. I could just picture her rolling her eyes and shaking her head as she reminded me she was pregnant, not an invalid. Bella found my incessant over-protectiveness ridiculous but didn't get angry when I asked her if she was okay for the millionth time in an hour. I knew it was probably all due to the guilt I felt at not being around much recently, and I'm pretty sure Bella knew it, too, which was why she tolerated the annoyance.

I had just reached the area outside the ladies room when a small older woman exited and smiled as she saw me.

"You must be the husband," she said, shaking her head, laughing. "She's a trip; I bet she keeps you on your toes."

"Yes, ma'am." I smiled, nodding. "And I wouldn't have it any other way."

"I knew you looked like a smart young man," she said, patting my arm as she passed.

Still shaking her head she walked away from me and I laughed to myself, wondering what Bella had done that had the woman so amused.

Stuffing my hands inside my pockets, I leaned back against the wall, crossing my ankles and waiting for Bella to exit. Just as I was beginning to think I needed to knock and make sure Bella was still inside, I heard a sound I never want to hear again for as long as I live.

"Edward!" The sound of Bella's voice struck a chord of terror inside my very soul and I knew instantly that something was very wrong. Never could I have imagined what I found when I burst through the door; it was much more than my worst nightmare had ever conjured.

"Bella!" I lunged just in time to catch her before she hit the floor as she passed out. I eased down onto the floor and pulled her into my lap, cradling her to my chest as I stroked the hair away from her beautiful face. "Bella, wake up, come on, baby, wake up."

My mind wouldn't register anything remotely coherent or useful outside of the fact that she was so incredibly pale and her skin was slick with perspiration while at the same time cold to my touch. It was then that I noticed the pool of blood at Bella's feet and my heart sank. For all the fancy medical training my family spent tens of thousands of dollars on, I should have been able to do something more than beg her to wake up; unfortunately, my mind scrambled with seeing the love of my life bleeding all over the floor. I couldn't form a reaction other than the utter panic running through my system.

Finally, my brain kicked in and I grabbed my cell phone from my pocket to quickly dial 9-1-1.

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?" the dispatcher's calm voice came over the line.

"This is Dr. Edward Cullen, and I need an ambulance, stat," I said, my voice sounding much steadier than I actually felt. My entire body shook with fear as I rattled off the address of the restaurant and what was happening, as well as I knew, to my wife. As I hung up, I broke, feeling as if my chest was being ripped apart.

"Oh god, Bella…oh, god…. Baby, please don't do this to me. Bella, wake up and talk to me…please," I begged.

Vaguely,the sound of a siren floated into my consciousness, but the only thing that seemed to be registering was the fact that my world was crumbling. I rocked Bella in my arms, continuously whispering my love to her and that everything was going to be okay even as my heart broke with the knowledge that it was very much _not_ okay at that moment.

A hand on my shoulder caused me to turn to see a tall blond woman staring back with an intense expression on her was talking to me, I knew this because I could see her mouth moving, but my mind simply couldn't make sense of the words. Two more people entered the room just behind the blond woman and somewhere I registered they were the EMT's.

"Are you her husband?" she asked and I nodded as the corner of her mouth pulled up into a tight smile.

"My name is Dr. Karina Chokovsky and I'm an ER physician at Northside Hospital. I happened to be doing a ride along tonight when the call came," she explained, locking her eyes with mine and forcing me to focus on her. "Your wife is about thirty-six weeks gestation, is that correct?"

I nodded, confirming her quick assessment.

"What's your wife's name, sir?" she asked, kneeling beside me as I continued to cradle Bella in my arms.

"Bella," I said, my voice breaking on her name as I gently brushed a hand over her beautiful face, her skin looked even more ashen than it had when I first entered the room and I felt my chest tighten with the building sob.

"Listen, I need you to focus here, okay," Dr. Chokovsky said, placing a hand on my upper arm and causing me to look up at her as she stared intensely, trying to stop my obvious panic. "We're going to take care of your wife, but you have to let her go so that these men can do their job and get her to the hospital, okay?"

I nodded and gently laid her back on the floor as the two men surrounded Bella's motionless body, immediately attaching an oxygen mask and cutting away the sleeve of her dress, starting an IV. Dr. Chokovsky rattled off instructions and I realized she was speaking not only to the EMT's but into a cell phone from which I assumed she was talking directly to the hospital. The voices were little more than a hum inside my head as I became lost in my panic. Everything with Bella's pregnancy had been completely normal up to that point and I couldn't make sense of what was happening. Suddenly through all of the haziness surrounding me, the words _placental abruption_ slammed into my ears.

"What?" I asked, my head snapping up and finally finding my voice. I struggled with holding down the nausea as what those two words meant for both Bella and my son resonated within my mind.

The EMT's placed Bella on a back board before transferring her to the gurney waiting just outside the restroom door. I ran to catch up as they rushed out of the restaurant toward the awaiting ambulance. I took Bella's hand in mine as Dr. Chokovsky looked at me from the other side of the gurney with a sad expression, still calling out instructions into her phone and to the EMT's.

"I believe your wife is experiencing an abruption of the placenta," she explained. "The placenta can become de-,"

"I know what it means," I said sharply, taking a deep breath, blowing it out through my nose as I tried to get a grip on my temper. "I'm a doctor. I know what the term means. You think that's what's happening?"

"I apologize, I didn't realize you were a physician," she said, stepping back as the EMT's prepared to lift Bella into the ambulance. "And yes, I do, which is why it is imperative that we get her to the hospital and get the baby delivered as soon as possible. For both their sakes."

Suddenly, I could not get enough air into my lungs;my whole world was lying on that tiny rolling bed and I couldn't comprehend how things had gone from such a mind blowing high to the epitome of hell in nothing flat. I doubled over, my hands on my knees, sucking in gulps of air and unsure which I was going to do first, pass out from the lack of oxygen or throw up.

"Hey," the doctor's firm voice broke through my careening into a full-blown panic attack. I raised my head to meet her intense stare once again. "You have to stay with me here, okay? For your wife and your baby, got it? You are not allowed to fall apart right now. Your wife is in that ambulance and we are going to get her to the hospital where we can take care of her. She needs you to stay calm. And I need some information that Bella can't give me right now. I need you to help me so that I can help her and your baby. Can you do that?"

"Yes," I said, though it came out more like a frog's croak as I sucked in ragged breaths.

"We're ready, doc," the EMT called from the back of the ambulance.

"Let's go," Dr. Chokovsky said, turning to make her way inside with me right on her heels.

~O~

Bella's doctor, Dr. Jensen, wasn't on call but one of his colleagues, a Dr. Lambert- who I was sure had never laid eyes on my Bella before-met us in the emergency room. He agreed with Dr. Chokovsky's initial diagnosis and Bella was rushed immediately upon arriving at the hospital into surgery to deliver the . Chokovsky went to assist with the surgery and assured me she would let me know as soon as she could what was happening as they entered the surgical suite. I felt my heart shatter as the doors closed, cutting me off from the most important thing in my life.

A hospital volunteer approached me and led me to the surgery waiting area. "Dr. Cullen," she said as we entered the large room and turned to face me, her eyes were sad. "Is there anyone I can contact for you? A family member or someone who could be with you while you wait?"

"I…uh, yeah," I stuttered, rubbing both hands over my face, unable to think straight but knowing that there were people I should call if I could just remember who they were. "Um…my…my uhm, cell phone…." I said, pulling out my phone. "My wife's sister…yeah, uh I need to call her sister…Oh God, Olivia."

I felt the sob catch in my throat and my heart thudded in my chest as the possibility that I would have to tell Olivia her motherwas gone crashed into my consciousness. Images of her smiling face flashed behind my closed lids.

_Oh God, please don't make me have to tell my little girl that we've lost her mother. Please…._

"Is Olivia your wife's sister?" she asked, concern obvious in her voice.

"No," I whispered and shook my head, trying desperately to rein in the terror coursing through my veins. "No, Olivia's our daughter…she's twelve."

"Oh, dear…" she breathed but quickly composed herself, looking at me intently. "Well, hon, would you like me to call your sister-in-law for you?" She placed a comforting hand on my forearm and smiled.

"Uh… no, no thank you.I'll call her," I said, already scrolling through my list and finding Rosalie's number as the volunteer patted my arm and turned to leave. I paced in front of the massive wall of windows, furiously running my free hand through my hair and trying to breathe. I worked to gather my thoughts as the line rang. My throat constricted as Rosalie's voice sounded in my ear.

"Rose…oh, God," I said, my voice breaking as the fear hit me full force once again.

"Edward?" she asked, her voice immediately rising in concern. "Edward, what's wrong?"

"Rose… It's Bella, I need… I need you to come to the hospital,"I barely got out as my voice broke. I swallowed the choking sensation, feeling my stomach roll with nausea and I prayed I wouldn't vomit.

"Oh, God," she whimpered. "Edward, what happened?"

I filled her in with the cliff notes version of what had occurred and quickly hung up before falling into the nearest seat. I felt as if my chest was going to implode as I dropped my head, burying my hands in my hair, my shoulders shaking with agony as I let the fear of losing it all wash over me.

The sob caught in my throat as an image of the very first time I ever saw Bella flashed in my mind. I remembered the pink scrubs and how she stood nonchalantly pecking away at her Blackberry, waiting on the elevator. I chuckled through the tears, thinking of how completely ridiculous I sounded that day; I stumbled and stuttered like a complete idiot. I remembered our first date and her expression of pure joy when she figured out where we were going. The soft smile on her lips as she watched Dorothy step out of the little farm house and the music of the live symphony swept her into the moment of the movie. The expression she wore the first time I told her I loved her. I remembered how she looked when we woke the morning I placed my ring on her finger. The images began to come faster and faster as I remembered our first kiss, the first time we made love, more and more as the tears slid from my eyes.

"Dr. Cullen?" The voice of the volunteer rang out in the quiet of the room and I immediately stood, wiping at my face.

"Yes, ma'am," I said, my voice rough and broken.

"Your son has just been delivered and he's being evaluated right now."

I couldn't stop the sob that tore from my chest at those words.

"The doctor said Mrs. Cullen is stabilizing," she said, the emotion behind her eyes told me Bella was not out of the woods, but she was still fighting. "I'll give you another update as soon as we have one."

"Thank you," I said and turned back toward the wall of windows. "God, Bella…" I murmured as the memory of my Bella on the day she finally became mine began to form in my mind.

_Thankfully, my girl wasn't much for the overly elaborate type of fanfare and didn't budge on the guest list; even when both our mothers and sisters pushed the issue. She stuck to her guns and we had only our family and closest friends in attendance. _

_It was perfection. _

_I had assured her on more than one occasion that I cared not one iota about when or where the wedding occurred, I just wanted it to happen as soon as possible and tried to talk her into eloping to Las Vegas. She wouldn't hear of it, stating angrily that it was my first wedding and she refused to have our grandchildren hear one day that we hadn't had the decency to have a real wedding. _

_Bella wanted everything to be perfect, but since the wedding was going to be held at my parents' home, she depended on my mother and sister's advice as to what the best time of day and year would be for the ceremony. After several long conference call discussions about colors, times, menus, and whatever the hell else goes along with planning a wedding,late April and late afternoon was chosen and set. According to the pint sized tyrant- otherwise known as my lovely sister-it would be the perfect time because 'the sun would be setting over the lake and would create beautiful colors. We can then enhance that with candles and twinkle lights….' I just shook my head and left the room. _

_When the day finally arrived, I found myself standing on my parent's back lawn with the sun setting over the lake behind me, awaiting my beautiful Bella to appear. I looked out over the faces of the people who meant the most to Bella and I, my heart swelled inside my chest with the love I felt radiating from each and every one of them. I knew that my sister was a genius as the colors of late afternoon settled over the area. I didn't think I could get any happier knowing that in a matter of minutes my own personal gift from heaven would be promising to be mine for the rest of eternity. Emmett clapped a hand on my shoulder as he smiled. Nothing more was needed. We understood each other perfectly; we had both found our forever. _

_It was then that Olivia appeared on the veranda outside my parents' bedroom. My eyes began to fill, blurring my vision, as I watched her slowly descend the staircase onto the lawn. Our eyes met and I felt the smile break across my face, an immense sense of pride filled me as she took her place before turning toward the house. Rosalie followed the same path Olivia had traveled and when she was in place, the music changed. I looked up and felt the breath leave my body as an ethereal apparition appeared before my eyes. I cashed in my man card right then and there when I felt the sob rip from my throat as Bella looked down and locked her gaze with mine. The smile on her face was radiant; she had never been more beautiful._

I was pulled back to the present at the sound of my little girl's voice.

"Daddy!" Olivia called and I looked up to see her exit the elevator with Rosalie and Emmett right behind her. I stood quickly and began running as she did the same.

"Daddy," she cried as she launched herself into my open arms and I hugged her to me tightly, feeling her tears falling against my neck as my knees gave way and I sank to the floor.

"Shh, baby," I crooned. "It's okay... don't cry, sweet girl."

I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince more, Olivia or myself, as I felt fresh tears wet my cheeks. The only thing I knew for certain was that I couldn't let her see my own panic at the unknowns and wiped away the tears quickly before pulling back and holding her tiny face between my palms.

"Your mom's going to be just fine and so is your little brother," I said, raising my eyebrows and looking directly into her eyes so she would see I was serious. There was no way I would let Olivia doubt that Bella and the baby would be just fine, regardless of the fear constricting my heart at the moment. "You understand? Your mom is strong and the doctors are with her right now. They're going to make sure that she and the baby are just fine. Okay?"

Olivia nodded and buried her head in my chest, wrapping her arms around my neck, and I held her, stroking a hand over her hair as I felt her little shoulders shake. I looked up to see Emmett holding Rosalie against his chest. He looked at me and I shook my head because I couldn't allow that expression of pity to enter my consciousness. I didn't want to see that look, ever, and I felt anger boil in my chest, choking me with its intensity. I was just about to tell Emmett what he could do with that expression when I heard Dr. Chokovsky calling my name and turned to see her and Dr. Lambert walking quickly toward us.

I stood immediately, carrying Olivia with me as she buried her face in my neck and held on tightly. I sucked in a breath and opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out.

"Dr. Cullen, your wife did very well," Dr. Chokovsky said, a smile finally spreading over her features. "And so did your son. They're both going to be just fine. I'll allow Dr. Lambert to give you the details."

"Oh, sweet Jesus, thank you," I breathed, my arms tightening around Olivia's small body as she clung to me, listening.

"Yes, Dr. Cullen, your wife did exceptionally well for what was going on when she arrived," Dr. Lambert interjected. "Unfortunately, the results of a placental abruption are not usually happy ones. But in this case everyone is doing very well," he said, reaching up to remove his surgical hat and smiling. "The baby is on his way to the NICU. He had a little difficulty breathing initially but I don't foresee any long term problems. He's a strong little guy; I wouldn't be surprised if he's not moved out to the general nursery by tomorrow morning."

I couldn't help but laugh a little relieved sound, feeling a swell of pride in my chest, when he spoke of my son and turned to press a kiss to Olivia's forehead as Dr. Lambert continued.

"Your wife is in recovery. The tear in her uterus wasn't as large as we feared, thankfully, and was repaired without any complications. She lost quite a bit of blood so she's going to be pretty weak for a while, but otherwise she should recover just fine. Someone will be out shortly to take you into see her."

"Thank you," I said, looking into the faces of the people who had saved Bella's life. "There aren't words…"

~O~

"Edward."

My head snapped up as Bella spoke my name in little more than a whisper. She had been moved, finally, to a room on the maternity floor, but had been out like a light ever since. I stood from the chair I was sitting in and crossed the room, feeling my eyes burn as my heart stuttered in my chest. Bella smiled and her eyes filled with tears as I sat gently on the edge of her bed and turned so she could finally see the tiny blue bundle I held snugly in my arms.

"Say hello to your mommy," I murmured and smiled down into the cherubic face of my son. "She worked very hard to bring you into the world safely. You owe her big, little man."

The nurse had brought him in only a short time before Bella woke up, and I had taken the opportunity to get to know my son, having our first father-son talk while Bella slept.

"Hello, my sweet baby," she whispered, reaching out a shaky finger to brush over his rounded cheek as a tear slid from the corner of her eye. "Welcome to the world, Charles Anthony Cullen."

Bella shifted in the bed, sucking in a sharp breath and wincing in pain as she tried to change her position so she could take Anthony.

"You need to be careful, sweetheart," I said, wishing there was something I could do to make her more comfortable and knowing there was nothing. Almost immediately, I felt a pang of guilt, then the overwhelming fear gripped me again as I realized how close I came to losing everything.

"Hey," she whispered, touching my hand and grabbing my attention completely. "Don't do that."

"What?" I asked, knowing full well she saw right through me as she smiled and shook her head.

"I don't want to see that look in your eyes," she said, her voice soft as she looked into my eyes and cupped my cheek with her hand. I turned to kiss her palm and leaned into her touch as my eyes closed of their own accord, hoping to block out the images from the previous days nightmare.

"I was so scared, Bella," I said, refusing to open my eyes, afraid that if I did I would see that I was only dreaming and that my world truly had imploded. "I thought I had lost you."

"Edward," she breathed. "Edward, look at me."

I opened my eyes and couldn't stop the smile as I looked into the face of the most beautiful woman I had ever known.

"I'm not going anywhere," she said, her voice thin but like music to my ears. "I'm right here."

"Yeah, you are," I said, feeling my heart swell with emotion and gratitude for the blessings I had been provided. "You ready to hold this little guy?" I asked softly.

Just as Bella took the baby from me, the door swung open and a wide eyed Olivia entered, quickly crossing the room.

"You're awake," she said, smiling and then suddenly noticing the baby in her mother's arms

"Yep, finally," Bella said, laughing a little as she watched Olivia look at Anthony with an expression of awe on her face. "You want to climb up here so you can see your little brother better?"

Olivia immediately looked up to me as if to make sure it was okay and I smiled before nodding. I returned her smile and saw in my peripheral vision Rosalie peeking around the door. She slowly retreated letting us have a few moments of privacy. Olivia slowly crawled up and snuggled in next to her mother, gently reaching out a single finger to touch Anthony's chubby red cheek.

"He's so little," she whispered.

"Yeah, babies usually are kind of little to begin with. He actually looks a lot like you did when you were first born." Bella paused and looked up at me with a mischievous twinkle in her eye that made me smile. "Except for the red hair, of course."

I chuckled at her teasing about the fact that my son had a tuft of bright red hair right on the top of his head. I felt sorry for the little guy, knowing that he had most definitely inherited my wild hair. He kind of looked like one of those little troll dolls. I stretched out on the bed beside Bella, my arm resting behind her head and my fingers running through her hair as I pressed a kiss to her temple.

"I love you," I breathed, and Bella leaned into my side ever so slightly as she whispered her love in return. I pulled back to look down at my family and said yet another prayer of thanks that God had not been ready to bring his angel back home, allowing her to stay with me a bit longer.

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**So here we are...the second epilogue is finished and already in Master Yoda's little hands. I thank you, each and every one, from the bottom of my heart for sticking with me through this story. The love and outpouring of support that has come from you wonderful people has been overwhelming...there truly is no way for me to express how happy it makes me to know this story has touched so many of you. I recently received an email/PM from a reader that truly brought me to tears. I'm so happy that this story has done what I had hoped, and so very much more, by bringing some awareness of children and the families who live with Cystic Fibrosis. **

**My thanks, as always to Jessica1971. She, as you all know, is my Master Yoda, my beta but she is my dearest friend. She has helped me through many things, in RL and in this wonderful world of the fandom. To Cullen312, ladysharkey1 and jadsmama, I love you girls! Thank you for all your support and just being such beautiful, genuine people. **

**I must send out a huge thank you to RCD-Alice, The Wayward Pushers and gossip-bangkok and Mr. Green for pimping out NYN on Twitter and your blogs. Thank you for being so lovely and supporting this story and me.  
**

**I would be completely remiss if I did not thank CellaCullen for originally encouraging me to write Need You Now. She was the driving force behind beginning this story and to her my eternal thanks. Love you darling!**

**Please visit the Cystic Fibrosis foundation's website at www . cff . org (remove the spaces of course) **

**Until next time...**

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1**


	31. Chapter 31

**Hello my dear ones! So here it is the final installment for this story. I have to say I feel a bit teary at the thoughts of putting this out in the world...I hope you all enjoy a little different look, a point of view we haven't seen before...**

**As always my eternal thanks to my beta extraordinaire, Jessica1971. She's the Master Yoda to my Luke Skywalker...Love you bb!**

**I don't own Twilight, wish I did but sadly I don't. That honor belongs to SM.  
**

**Oh one more little side note before I shut up and let you read. The first Epi was screwed up beyond recognition when I posted last week...there was something between the borrowed computer and Fanfiction that wasn't getting along. I apologize but I reposted, if you didn't read the repaired copy you are more than welcome to do that...without further ado...**

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Epilogue #2

Olivia POV

"Mom! Daddy!" I screamed as I burst through the door and into the kitchen, laughing uncontrollably and running down the hall toward the office. "Oh my God!"

Graduation was only a few weeks away and I had finally gotten a letter from the one school I wanted to attend more than any other. I knew my dad was going to be over the moon; he had no idea I even applied. Mom knew but she thought it was a good idea to wait and tell daddy when I got accepted.

On top of that, I _wanted_ to surprise him, and a little part of me wanted to get in on my own merit, not because of my dad's name. I knew the fact that he was an alumnus would have made a big difference in my getting in the program if I told him and he made a call to some of his old college buddies who were on the admissions board.

"Shit," my dad exclaimed as I threw open the door and my mother jumped, turning to look over her shoulder toward the door. Her face immediately turned red as my dad released a frustrated growl and I tried not to notice that his hand slipped from under her t-shirt. His large hands encircled her waist as he tilted his head to the side and met my gaze, scowling at me slightly.

"Whoops, sorry, but geez you guys should really lock a door now and then, ya know," I laughed, teasing, but I felt my own cheeks burning a bit at walking in on them – again- but I was too excited to wait. When I was younger, I thought it was gross that they couldn't seem to keep their hands off one another, but as I got older I came to realize what a special and rare, loving relationship they shared.

I giggled because I couldn't seem to control the laughter bubbling up in my chest as I looked down at the piece of paper in my hand then back at my parents. I was completely giddy and waved the letter high in the air, watching the scowl on my dad's face turn into a crooked grin. He shook his head and laughed like I knew he would; he wasn't really mad at me for barging in, he just wanted me to think he was. I knew the truth. My dad and I were tight.

"What's that, sweetheart?" he asked, nodding toward my hand and pulling my mother into his lap before leaning back in the chair.

Mom shot me a knowing look as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She was giving me the gift of surprising daddy with the good news. The moment my dad found out I would be attending Northwestern in the fall, he would be berserk. Even though he had never pushed me to go to his alma mater, I knew he wanted that for both Tony and I.

Honestly, if my little brother made it out of third grade without blowing up the whole school, I would be amazed. My parents were at the school either picking him up or having a conference with the principle and Tony's teacher at least every other week. If it wasn't that, daddy was patching up some off the wall injury he had gotten during one of his more adventurous experiments. It really was a miracle the kid was still walking around with all the ways he could find to get in trouble or injured. My mom claimed he would surely be the death of her and my dad just laughed, claiming he was just 'all boy'.

Grandma Esme said Tony was exactly like dad, never still for more than a few minutes and always wanting to know how things worked. She said there wasn't a Christmas or birthday she could remember that my dad didn't have every one of his toys in pieces by the end of the day, just to try and understand how it worked internally. That was pretty much the definition of Tony; that and the fact that he liked to blow things up with the chemistry set that Mimi Renee got him for his birthday. I really didn't know what she was thinking or what my parents were thinking letting him keep the darn thing.

Tony looked like mom, all soft features and wide expressive eyes, except for the fact that his eyes were green and his hair was red which of course was totally dads; he had the same soft curls that mom and Grandpa Charlie shared. He was an adorable kid, and I loved him, but he was a pain in my neck. I was going to miss him like crazy when I left for college. I felt my eyes burn just a little at the thought of being so far away from home, still I couldn't help but smile as I looked at my dad's eyes.

"It's a letter," I said, waving it in front of me again excitedly.

"I can see that, princess," Dad chuckled, rolling his eyes playfully. "What I meant was... why does that letter have you so excited?"

I looked at mom, who wore a smirk on her face, and she nodded, her eyes growing wide with her excitement. Daddy knew I wanted to be a doctor and had been nothing but encouraging with my desire to go into biomedical research. My one dream was to find a cure for Cystic Fibrosis. We had lots of late night talks about that over the past couple of years. He just had no idea that I planned on going to Northwestern.

"Well…" I paused dramatically and my mom giggled.

"Olivia, you're going to give your father a heart attack," my mom said, shaking her head and laughing at the expression on his face. "Just tell him already."

"Tell me what?" he asked, looking up at my mom, his brow furrowing. "You know what this is about?"

She nodded and kissed his forehead, patting his chest lovingly before they both turned to look at me again.

"Olivia," he sighed, running his hand through his hair again and closing his eyes. "Is this something that I really don't want to know?" Opening his eyes, narrowing them at me once again. "You know, like you've decided to join the Peace Corps or the Red Cross instead of going to college? And you're leaving right after graduation for some foreign country for the next three years?"

"Gah, no," I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "You're so goofy sometimes." He could be completely ridiculous sometimes. The Peace Corps, really?

"Anyway, so you know how I want to be a doctor, right?" I started and he nodded. "Well, I applied at lots of schools. And, well, you know that already, too,because you've been complaining about all the applications and information books lying around everywhere." I sighed dramatically, looking at him from the corner of my eye. He chuckled, running a hand through his hair and grinning at me sheepishly. I knew he still felt bad for yelling at me a couple nights before when he came home late and tripped over some of the brochures I had left in the family room. I crossed the room quickly to lay the letter on his desk, watching as he sat forward to look down at the paper. "Well, there was one school that you wouldn't have seen in all that stuff…it was the only place I really wanted to go, so I applied and, well…"

There was a sharp intake of breath as he read the acceptance letter. His head shot up, looking me in the eye, an unreadable expression on his face. He turned to look at my mom as though he couldn't believe what he was seeing; she nodded before his eyes fell to the paper before him.

"You're going to Northwestern…," his voice was barely a whisper as a huge smile began to form as he raised his head once more.

I nodded in acknowledgment and felt my own smile split my face.

He stood quickly, setting my mother on her feet; before I could even register what was happening, he was rounding the desk, scooping me up in his arms and twirling me around as he hugged me to him.

"Hell, yeah," he laughed. "My girl's going to Northwestern! I can't believe you didn't tell me this…" he said, setting me back on my feet and placing his hands on my face. He smiled down at me before kissing my forehead and whispering, "I'm so proud of you, baby."

~O~

4 months later…..

The four of us flew into Chicago a few days earlier than I needed to be on campus under the guise that daddy wanted to visit a few friends he hadn't seen in a while. So since they would conveniently be in town anyway,they would help me get settled and check out the dorms. I knew the truth; my parents were having a really hard time letting go. If I was being totally honest, I wasn't exactly looking forward to being in such a big city all by myself, but I wouldn't ever admit that to my parents. If daddy found out I was even a little apprehensive about being alone, he would have the movers in my dorm before sundown packing my stuff and carting my butt back to Atlanta.

I wanted the freedom - with everything in me I wanted the freedom that came along with being on my own for the first time- but I couldn't help being nervous.

"You're sure you have everything?" mom asked for at least the hundredth time, looking around my dorm room.

I rolled my eyes and sighed, "Yes, Mom. There's no possible way to get one more thing in this place. For Pete's sake, I swear between you, Mimi Renee and Grandma Esme I have everything in Pottery Barn's entire stock of dorm furniture."

She laughed as she straightened a picture on the wall but didn't comment, knowing I was right. I smiled sadly as I watched her walk across the room and sit down on my bed. It was obvious to me how much she was struggling to hold in her emotions because I was doing the same thing.

"I thought daddy was going to have a stroke when he found out the only available single room was in the co-ed dorms," I said, sitting down next to her on the bed, placing my pillow in my lap and leaning against the headboard.

"You have no idea," she said, rolling her eyes and sliding back on the bed to lean against the wall. "He was seriously considering selling out of the practice, or just letting Uncle Emmett take over the whole thing and moving us all here so you wouldn't have to live on campus. It was all I could do to convince him that it was not a good idea at all. Then he had the bright idea of getting you an apartment off campus, but the school requires all freshmen to live in the dorms. And honestly, well…you need to have the experience of campus life. I told him we didn't need to worry about the co-ed thing. You have a good head on your shoulders." She turned to look at me, narrowing her eyes and pointing a finger at me. "Don't make me regret telling him that."

"Oh my God, Mom," I laughed, hitting her with the pillow.

She laughed, catching the pillow and pulling it away before lying down next to me on the bed.

"You're going to have so much fun here, baby," she said, propping her head on her palm and smiling. Her eyes were glassy and I felt the sting of my own tears as I looked at my mother. "So, you're comfortable with the doctor at the clinic, right? They seem to really be on top of things but…"

"Yeah, Mom," I said, pushing an errant hair out of my face and sighing. "They're fine. I mean, we knew that I would change clinics anyway once I turned eighteen, so it wasn't like I would still be seeing Dr. Mitchell even if I was at home."

She nodded, but I could see the concern written all over her face. She wouldn't say it, but it scared her probably more than it did me for her to be so far away when I got sick the next time. My last hospital stay had been quite a while ago, but there was a little part of me that was afraid to be admitted without my mom there. I knew when it happened she would be on the first plane to me, but it scared me all the same. She had always been right there when I had to go through that stuff; the thought that she was going to be thousands of miles away was more than a little frightening.

Just then, the door to my dorm room opened and a giggling blur flew into the room.

"Mom! Sissy!" Tony shrieked as he ran across the room, jumping on the bed and tackling both of us at the same time. "Look what daddy got me," he said excitedly, pulling off the purple baseball cap he wore and waving it in mom's face.

Tony collected baseball caps. Football teams, baseball teams- both collegiate and professional, he wasn't particularly discerning. There was even a NASCAR team or two in the mix of hats that lined the walls of his room.

"I really like that one, sweetie," mom said, sitting up and looking at my dad with a smirk on her face, taking in the matching hat on his head. "Looks like you talked your daddy into getting one, too."

"Yep," Tony smiled. "He needed a new one 'cause his other one is gross."

Mom and I laughed out loud, knowing exactly what Tony was talking about and agreeing wholeheartedly. Daddy had this nasty baseball cap that was so old that it had to be left over from his own days at Northwestern. He wore it all the time, especially if he was watching any sports team from Northwestern play; the thing was practically in shreds from all the wear and tear, but he wouldn't throw it out. Mom had tried on several occasions to sneak it out of the house, but he always seemed to catch her before she could get it into the trash.

"Traitor," daddy muttered, readjusting the new cap on his head and trying unsuccessfully to look angry, but the whole effect was completely ruined by the grin lighting up his face. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with my old cap."

We all groaned and shook our heads, which made him laugh.

"Whatever…you can just keep right on ridiculing my choice in head wear all you want," he said, turning to make his way back out the door and calling over his shoulder. "I'm starving. I'm going to get some dinner."

My family was leaving the next morning, but instead of making a big emotional deal out of our last night together, we decided to go to a local pizzeria daddy said was one of his favorite haunts back in the day. According to him, it was a requirement of anyone living in Chicago to know where to find the best Chicago style pizza. I wouldn't ever tell him, but I was surprised the place was still in operation. I mean, he had been in school here like, twenty years ago?

Before I knew it, they were dropping me off and I was making my way inside my room and over to the window. They would be back first thing in the morning to have one last breakfast with me. A single tear slid down my cheek as I watched the taillights of their rental fade from sight.

I turned away from the window, walking over to my desk I took out a sheet of paper and started writing.

~O~

EPOV

I could hear the light snoring of my son from the room next door; I swear that kid could sleep standing on his head if need be because nothing ever seemed to disturb his peaceful slumber. I envied him that - the innocence of youth allowing you to sleep without the intrusion of the world.

I lifted my head to check the bedside clock and groaned.

_Two a.m._

Bella and I had dropped Olivia off at her dorm several hours ago and made our way to the hotel where we were staying. Tony was passed out before we were two miles down the road, but neither Bella nor I were able to fall asleep so easily, knowing what the rising of the sun would bring.

I had no doubt that Olivia could take care of herself; we raised her to know right from wrong. Olivia was smart, she always had been -even when she was just a little girl she was wise beyond her years. Thankfully, she had her mother's ability to read people as well as absolutely no inhibition in holding back her opinion when she didn't agree with something someone did or said.

All those things gave me some peace of mind, but my heart was breaking at the thought of getting on a plane to head back to Atlanta and leaving Olivia behind.

"I don't think I can do it, Edward," Bella sighed into the darkness, echoing my own inner thoughts. I pulled her closer to my side and kissed the top of her head.

"She's going to be just fine, sweetheart," I whispered, pressing my lips to her hair once more, completely unsure who I was trying to convince more, Bella or myself.

We both were so incredibly proud of Olivia for following her dream,but the thought of her being so far from home was ripping Bella's heart to shreds. I would need to keep it together because Bella was going to come completely undone when it was time to actually leave the next day.

I knew all too well that Bella's wasn't just the typical fear all parents have when their children leave for college. Bella was afraid for so much more than if Olivia would fit in and find her way in such a big place. It was more than a fear Olivia would get caught up in partying and not be able to keep up with her school requirements. Or she would meet the wrong boy and get her heart broken. While we had all of those same fears, there was so much more to what Bella was feeling as she tried to prepare herself to let Olivia find her wings and fly.

For the first time in Olivia's life, Bella wouldn't be just a few minutes away the next time she got sick. Bella was concerned the CF clinic staff wouldn't be as attentive because they were new to Olivia's care team. She was scared Olivia would push herself too far before seeing the doctor, or that she would get busy with the stresses of school and not take her medications properly. I wanted so badly to take that fear away from her, but I knew there was nothing I could do but remind her of my love and reassure her everything would be fine while praying I was right.

Bella sniffled and I felt her tears falling on my bare skin as she buried her face in my chest. Running a hand over her hair and down her back, I tried to soothe her as she released the strangle hold on her emotions she had held throughout the day. I tightened my arms and held her while she cried.

Bella's arms wrapped around my chest, her face nestled in the crook of my neck when she began to calm and finally slipped into a fitful sleep.

I woke the following morning wrapped around Bella's tiny body. Taking a deep breath, a smile creased my face as I pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

"Good morning, sweetheart," I murmured against her skin.

Bella groaned an incoherent response, making my smile widen; my wife was not a morning person - at all. I raised my head to check the time and dropped it back to my pillow with a groan of my own. We needed to get up if we were going to make it to Olivia's dorm and still get to the airport in time for our flight home.

"Bella," I said, my voice barely audible as I used my chin to move the hair covering her neck. I began placing open mouthed kisses to the area where her shoulder curved gracefully into her neck. I felt a feeling of satisfaction when she shivered and her skin broke out in goose flesh as I kissed my way to the spot just behind her ear before whispering, "Baby, we need to get up so we have time for breakfast with Olivia before our flight."

I took the lobe of her ear between my teeth and smiled as Bella moaned a low throaty sound.

"Ungh…if you don't quit doing that I'll never get out of this bed," she sighed, pressing her backside into me, causing me to hiss as I spread my fingers wide over her abdomen, pulling her tighter into me.

"And that's supposed to make me want to stop…how?" I groaned as she pushed into me again and desire raced through my system. I couldn't stop the response of my body as my hips shifted into her, gaining the friction I needed but not nearly enough for what I truly wanted. After all our years together, there were still things that woman could do to my body that drove me to the edge of oblivion.

Bella chuckled and raised a hand to thread her fingers in my hair, rolling her hips against me in ways that could possibly be illegal in the state of Illinois.

"Bella, are you trying to kill me this morning?" I groaned before using every bit of strength I could muster to roll onto my back, separating myself from her so I could gain some control.

Bella laughed a deep husky sound, her voice still raw from the emotions of the previous night.

"Today's going to be really hard, Edward," she said, turning to face me and curling her hand under her cheek on her pillow. Her big brown eyes became glassy as her emotions began to build once again.

"Yes, it is," I replied, rolling until I was lying on my side. I reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and slowly caressed her cheek. Her eyes fluttered closed and she took a deep breath. Folding my fingers around her neck, I pulled her to me, leaning in to kiss her slowly, gently.

"I love you, so much," I whispered.

She nodded and pressed her forehead to my chin, squeezing her eyes tightly shut and murmuring her love in return.

"Olivia loves you more than anything in this world," I said, moving to kiss her cheek. I could taste the salt of her tears as they slid from behind her closed lids. "Please don't cry, baby… I know she's struggling with being away from you as much as you're struggling to let her go, but she's going to love college and she's going to be an amazing doctor someday." A sob ripped from her chest and I pulled her into my arms, holding her until she had cried out the sadness the day brought. We finally climbed out of bed and dressed quickly to go meet our girl for a morning of family time.

~O~

I felt a tightening in my chest as I looked at my watch and knew our time was growing short; we would need to get on the road if we were going to make our flight. Torn between being happy that Olivia was starting a new stage of her life and grabbing her up and taking her with us back to Atlanta, I smiled sadly, watching my children tease one another as they said their goodbyes.

"All right, you," Olivia said, hugging and kissing Tony as he squirmed, turning several shades of red. "Behave. I don't want to hear about the bomb squad visiting your school before I see you at Thanksgiving."

"Ah, geez, Livi," Tony whined, pulling away from his sister and wiping his cheek where she had kissed him. He swatted at her hand when she reached out to ruffle his hair. "I'm not going to blow up anything at school."

It did not escape my notice that he said 'at school', which left incidences at home wide open.

Bella rose from where she sat in the chair my mother had chosen for Olivia's room and crossed to where Olivia stood with Tony in the little kitchenette. Tony took one look at his mother's face and made a beeline for where I sat in the chair at Olivia's desk.

"Why's Mom look so sad?" he asked in a whisper as he stood between my legs, wrapping an arm over my shoulders and looking at me with a confused expression. "I thought you guys wanted Livi to go to school here?"

"She's not really sad, buddy," I said, trying to find the words to explain what his mother and I were feeling. "We do want her to go to school here…it's just…well, we like having both of you at home with us all the time. So now that Olivia's not going to be living in our house for a while, well, that makes your mom and I a little sad, but happy, too. Does that make sense?"

"I guess," he shrugged, shaking his head and still looking confused. "Parents are so weird."

I chuckled and wrapped my arms around him, kissing his head. "You're right about that, buddy."

Bella and Olivia were locked in a hard embrace; Olivia would nod as Bella whispered to her, things I'm sure that needed to be kept between a mother and a daughter. I couldn't see either of their faces but didn't need visual proof to know they were both crying. Suddenly they both laughed, wiping at their faces as they finally pulled apart. My own throat tightened at the realization I had not said my goodbyes and my time had come.

"Why don't you go give your mom a hug? I think she could really use it right now," I said, pushing Tony toward Bella as I stood.

I took a steadying breath and smiled as Olivia crossed the room toward me. Opening my arms, I wrapped her in a hug when she fell into me. Dropping my head to hers, I kissed her hair and bit the inside of my cheek to hold back the emotions crashing over me as she clung to my shirt.

"I love you, baby," I said, my voice cracking despite my best effort to keep it even. I cleared my throat and pulled back to look down at my little girl.

Olivia smiled up at me through her tears as I framed her sweet face between my palms and kissed her forehead. "I hope you know how very proud your mother and I are of you."

Her smile grew and I brushed away the tears falling over her cheeks. "I do, Daddy…thank you for everything." She took a deep breath and cleared her throat as she pulled out of my grasp. Stepping around me, she picked up an envelope from the desk and turned back to face me.

"I…I wrote this last night after you guys left," she whispered, holding it out for me to take and smiling hesitantly. "Don't, um…don't read it until you're on the plane, 'k?"

I took the envelope from her, looking down at it for a long moment before murmuring, "Okay."

"I guess you guys have to get going, huh?" Olivia asked, stuffing her hands in her back pockets. She drug the toe of her shoe on the floor, swinging her body from side to side, making me smile and reminding me so much of when she was a little girl.

"Yeah, I guess so," I said, reaching behind me to slip the envelope in my pocket before pulling her into my arms once again. I took a deep steadying breath.

"You have your credit card, right?"

Olivia nodded against my chest.

"And there's cash available in your debit account. You've got that card, too, right?" She nodded again. "Keep your cell phone charged because you know if I call and can't get you I'll be on the next flight out," I said in all seriousness and smiled as I felt Olivia's shoulders shake with her laughter.

"I will, Daddy," she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. "I love you."

"Love you, too, princess."

Too soon we were pulling away, leaving Olivia waving from the curb in front of her dorm.

Bella quietly cried all the way to the airport. I took her hand and brought it to my lips, hoping to soothe her in some small way. Tony sat in the backseat of the car with his earbuds firmly in place and playing around with his iPod Touch. I caught a glimpse of him in the rear view swatting at his face a couple of times with the back of his hand.

When we finally made it on the plane, Bella settled into her seat and closed her eyes as soon as we were off the ground. Tony continued to ignore everyone around him as he immersed himself in a movie.

I pulled out the envelope that Olivia had given me; we had been in the air for at least five minutes, so I had followed her rules.

Unfolding the paper, I felt my heart pounding with anxiety as I began to read the words Olivia wrote.

_Dear Daddy,_

_I'm sitting here at my desk after I watched you guys leave and I can't really explain how I feel. I don't even know where to start or what I want to say. Well, that's really not true, I just don't have the right words to tell you all the things that I feel like I need to say to you. I'm so excited to start classes and to have the independence all this is bringing me, but at the same time it all terrifies me more than I would ever admit out loud. _

_I know Mom is afraid I won't take care of myself, but you guys don't need to worry. I promise to make sure I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. I want to stay healthy. But all that's not really what I wanted to tell you either because I think you already know all that stuff._

_I guess what I wanted to tell you was thank you. Thank you for everything that you have ever done for me and for Mom. I knew it from the first time I saw you. I knew you would be a great dad and I think that Mom saw it, too. She was just scared. _

_You remember, don't you? The first time we met? I was sick and you came to see me in the hospital? _

_Anyway, you brought me all those magazines and stuff. You talked to me about all the stupid things little kids think is so important and you actually listened. You had read Harry Potter, for Pete's sake! How much better could it be than that, right? _

_I had no idea just how great it would get, not then anyway. _

_You knew all the crap that would come along with being with us, and instead of running in the opposite direction, you kept Mom from running away from you. You took me and my Mom into your heart. You loved my Mom and you loved me. _

_You loved us enough to not make us try to forget my other dad. Instead of being jealous of the love we carried for him, you let us have our memories and helped us to keep him in our hearts. You even helped me to hold on to a little piece that was mine all to myself by teaching me to play the guitar and encouraging me to sing. _

_You're an amazing man, Daddy, and the day you came into our lives was the best day ever. You helped my Mom to make us a family and held us together through the tough times. We haven't always seen eye to eye on things, but you were there no matter what and you loved me even when you were mad. _

_Take care of Mom. She's going to need you now, even more than before, to be strong for her because I know her; she's having a much rougher time with not being able to control everything than she's letting on. Tony's going to need you, too, because he needs somebody to run interference for him when he drives mom up the wall, and I can't do that from Chicago. _

_I hope you know that I will do everything I can to make sure you're always proud of me. I guess that's everything I wanted to tell you, except, well, I love you with all my heart!_

_Forever your princess,_

_Olivia_

Releasing the breath I hadn't even realized I was holding, I stared at my daughter's neat script for a little bit longer, feeling the burn in my chest and behind my eyes. Folding the paper, I placed it in the envelope and slid it back into my pocket.

Olivia was the light of my life. Regardless of the fact she wasn't biologically mine, she was the child of my heart and mine in every other way. She would always be my little girl.

I turned to look at my wife as her head dropped to my shoulder and smiled. Looking over to our son, I knew that no one on the face of the Earth had ever been more blessed.

In the years to come our lives would not be simple. It would be chaotic and filled with happiness and tears, but we would always be a family who loved one another more than life itself. I would spend every possible moment making sure they knew just how special they truly were to me and how special they had made my life each and every day.

The End

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**That's it folks...I hope you enjoyed a little glimpse into Olivia's side of things and the ending of this story. Thank you again to all of you who have been so phenomenal through out this journey. Whether you've read and reviewed or just quietly read from the quiet recesses of the fandom, maybe you passed this story along to a friend or just kept it to yourself, either way I thank you for taking this trip with me.**

**Some have asked if I will be writing anything further, and the answer is- absolutely. I am working on another story as I type but I am taking a bit of a break over the holidays and want to have at least the majority of the story written before I begin posting again. I can tell you the title of the next story is Someone Like You. Check out my Author's blog for updates in the coming weeks as to when that story will begin posting. (the link is on my homepage) I will be doing some outtakes for NYN as well but otherwise I'll hope to see you when the new story begins to post.  
**

**As always please visit www . cff . org (without the spaces) for more information on Cystic Fibrosis and its treatment. **

**Until next time...**

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

**bellasunderstudy1  
**


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